A/N: 10/10 would recommend listening to the song while reading, it's beautiful because it fits and it's my lil kookie<3
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"Colby, I can't climb over that! I'm a short kid," I utter, backing away from the wired fence.
He sat on the top of the fence and looked down at me, "C'mon, grab my hand Wendy, I'll take you on an adventure with me to Neverland."
I feel the corners of my lips tug to a smile, and I blush as I reach up for his hand.
I take a deep breath in and my heart begins to pound. I get the gut feeling once again, and I don't want to shake it out again.
He pulls me up and I soon sit next to him on the high fence. We aren't even at the top and we can see the highway's lights lightening up the clear night. The beauty of city life takes my breath away. My heart flutters when I am with this boy.
I feel like a lost star in the middle of an empty sky when I'm not with him.
He hops down before and reaches his arms up to help me down. He grabs me by my waist and lulls me down. I put my hands on his broad shoulders and blush as he lifts me down.
He gives me a reassuring grin and we trudge forward up the mountain's path to the statue. I follow him up and the way there was beginning to get tiring.
Next thing I knew, I start to breathe heavily and Colby seemed to notice.
"You good?" He chuckles at me.
I stop and put my hands on my hips, "Yeah.. ahuh... can we just... take a break?"
He rolls his eyes and crouches down, "Get on my back, Neil."
"Uh, I'm going to crush you with my weight," I reply, getting self conscious.
He gives me a funny look, and stands back up. "If you're saying you're overweight, you're fucking dumb."
"Colby, I'm not the ideal girl, I got my insecurities..." I stammer.
He rolls his eyes, "You're so annoying. You're perfect, Ash. I hate it when you think you're anything less, I don't understand why you would have to have insecurities."
"Oh, Colby..." I feel my cheeks hit up, and I find myself getting shyer. I cover my face and smile. He looks down at me and smiles too, removing my hands.
"Now stop covering your everything more than perfect face and get on my back, Neil." He crouches down and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He teases.
"Oh shut up, Brock."
I rested my chin on his shoulder and let my hair loose to flow through the summer night's wind.
My stomach does a little somersault and my arms tingle, as I hug Colby's body. The feeling.
We soon arrive at the type and damn.
The thing looks ever cooler in person.
I jump off his back and look at the glowing statue with amazement.
"It's amazing," I gasp.
"So cool," Colby breathes out.
"You got your pocketknife?" I ask.
He pulls it out and holds it up, "Yup!"
I laugh and grab his hand, "Let's go carve our names into that tree."
"Not the real sign?" He questions.
I shake my head, "That thing glows for a reason.We could get electrocuted okay."
"Okaaay, tree it is."
I begin to carve my initials and the year.
Colby does the same but adds a little heart.
"Isn't it cute?" He beams, flaunting off the tiny shape.
"Meh."
He snaps, "Hey!"
"It's cute, fine, jeez."
He begins to beam again, "Hehe, thanks Neil."
I roll my eyes.
"You need a heart too, I have a great idea."
He wrote his name under mine so he added a plus '+' and engulfed both our names with a gigantic heart.
"AN 2017 + Colby B. 2k17 <3."
"You're cheesy," I scoff.
"I'm cute," He grins like a little kid and pinches his own cheeks together. I face him and squish my palms on his cheeks and laugh.
"You're chubby."
"I'm okay with that," He laughs, and picks me up over his shoulder.
Ah, the feeling comes again.
"Aye! What are you doing boi!" I squeal, slouching over his back. "Wow, I have such a great view of your ass, Brock. You been doing squats recently?"
He chuckles, "Well you're not the only one with the view of a nice butt."
"I'm pretty sure I don't have one," I laugh.
"Dude, it's right here," He replies and lightly slaps my butt.
"Hey there! Watch it!" I warn, slapping his butt.
"Don't get all touchy back there," He states, seriously.
"Don't plan on it," I respond, crossing my arms. "Hey, where are you even doing?"
"I am trying to get a good selfie with the cross and the city," He sasses. "Ah, here's some good lighting."
I try to peer over and smile with a peace sign over his shoulder.
"Haha, you look ridiculous," He says, holding his phone up and taking a picture.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
He finally lets me down and he hands me his phone, "Quickly, snap a nice pic of me."
He lifts his arms up and poses in front of the cross. I take a few pics of the dorky boy before me.
"Ah, it's not that good of quality... sorry."
He takes a look at the picture, "Nah, it's dope!"
I grin at his excitement of the photo.
His happiness is contagious.
/////
"So tell me, plans for UCLA?" Colby asks me.
We are aloof of the city, and are overlooking over it as if we were guardian angels. He and I sat on the ground, closely together watching the night life.
Mesmerizing scenery, fascinating lifestyle.
So many cars still drove at this time of almost eleven o'clock at night.
The city does not ever sleep. Welcome to LA.
"Be the best. Graduate with a Bachelors, move to Connecticut and get my PhD at Yale. That's the plan."
"Wow, you have your life already set," He smiles.
"I guess. I'm going to have to be on my A-game though everywhere I go... I'm not looking forward to it."
"At least you're fucking good at bringing your A-game," He says, comforting me.
I smirk, "You would know."
"Of course I'd know."
We laugh and nothing else mattered at the moment besides us, sitting here together.
"Hey... how do you feel about the lawsuit happening next week?"
"Alright... I just want to get it over with, honestly," He sighs. A long pause lingers. Finally, he says, "Are you actually on Kai's side?"
I scrunch my face up. That's a stupid question.
"No, for the quadrillionth time, no. I'm on nobody's side."
"Why won't you just help Sam?"
"Why don't I just, not?"
He hums in disapproval, "Ash. Seriously."
"Colby, drop it. I've already given you my reason in front of Sam's parents. Nothing has changed. It's a waste of time and money, to be honest."
"It's for Sam's justice!" He argues.
"Justice for what?" I groan, "There's no justice beating served. Sam's alive, Kai made a mistake, nobody's dead."
"Okay, fine. I'm done."
"Good," I sigh.
A silence creeps up on us and we sat with no sound but the beeps and zooms by the passing cars below us.
"How's your feelings?" Colby finally asks, turning off our mute conversation.
I raise an eyebrow, "My feelings?"
"You know what I mean!" He slashes his arm in the air as if that's going to make his point clearer.
I giggle, "They're still confusing."
"How do you get the feeling?"
I primarily get it when I'm alone with you.
I didn't say that however.
"When something good happens," I lie.
"Maybe you get it because you feel genuine happiness?" He suggests.
I nod, "Could be."
"Oh, or maybe when you feel empathetic towards when good things happy to good people and you feel like you catch that feeling," He suggests.
"But why would I feel lost about it, because I feel lost when I have this feeling sometimes too. It's either bad or good. Sometimes I want the feeling to stay and other times I want it to just fuck off. I don't understand myself."
He sighs, "I'm trying Ash. I don't know what to tell you... maybe you feel lost because when you feel the happiness from others, you suddenly feel sad and lost because it's not your happiness?"
"That makes me sound like a loner," I deadpan.
"Well I'm sorry I'm bad at this! I'm giving suggestions and my ideas."
I giggle at his determination to help.
"Okay, that's enough helping for one night Colbs."
"You ready to go home now?" He asks me.
"Yeah, I'm getting tired," I yawn.
He nods and stands up. I reach my arm out for him to help me up. He swiftly pulls me to my feet and we head down the mountain together after dusting off our clothes from dirt.
We began to slowly go down together before he called out, "Race you down! Whoever loses buys the winner breakfast tomorrow!"
/////
We arrived back at the apartments with no worries.
Once the elevator opened, we got out and Colby whines, "I can't believe I have to buy you breakfast tomorrow!"
I burst out laughing, "You even got a head start! I'm smart with my strategy."
"It was illegal. Totally disobeyed the rules, Neil."
"Pulling you to the ground is not illegal or against the rules since there were none. All you said was 'Race you down, lose buys winner breakfast tomorrow.'"
"Whatever," He grins putting an arm around my shoulder.
We continue to laugh and remember more of the things we did tonight as we got to the apartments.
As I was about to go and unlock my door, I stop myself.
"Hey, Brock."
He turns away from his door to face me.
"Hey, Neil."
"Thanks for being there for me tonight. I was really thinking you were going to ditch me," I laugh, feeling shy again.
Ugh, the feeling is here.
He smiles with his bright smile and shimmering ocean eyes, "I'm always here for you. Next time though, I'll hold onto the movie tickets."
I giggle, "Right..."
He unlocks his door and walks inside, "Goodnight, Neil."
"Night, Colbs," I reply and enter my apartment and close the door.
Wow, what a night.
I strip away my dirty clothes and change into my pajamas. After brushing my teeth and lying down comfortably in bed, I reminisce the memories we just made.
I remember the way his kind blue eyes shone when he helped me onto the fence. Then when he said he'll bring to Neverland if I would be his Wendy. The way he gripped onto my waist and mine rested on his broad shoulders.
My body feels safe when I'm around him.
My feeling appears.
It stayed when he said I was more than perfect. I shouldn't worry about my insecurities, they were really pointless. Ah, he made me have such a great feeling. I admire his attitude towards body image.
I wrapped my arms and he piggy-backed me up the mountain without s problem. I felt weightless and secure when he carried me up and damn, what a feeling it was.
He carved a gigantic heart around our names and put Ash + Colby. I was shocked and he would do that, but I didn't retaliate. My stomach felt like a swarm of butterflies were trying to escape and it was wonderful. I'd let them escape.
He had slung me over my should and we took funny pictures. His style of living makes me jealous. I aspire to have his care-free tone about life. I have such a set plan, but at least he thinks I'll succeed and his support alone will bring me to the top of my A-game.
He cared about how I was feeling. He remembered why he was there with me basically. He did try and help me discover the real reason to feel lost about a feeling.
It gave me the feeling, and I loved it.
Love.
Wait, is that what I'm feeling?
When he makes eye contact with me, tells me I'm more than perfect, expresses his amazing personality, makes me feel safe, cheers me up on my worries, cares about how I feel...
I feel... I feel like I'm on top of the world when I'm around him.
Then when he's with Ellie and I get jealous, I get concerned when he's somewhere he didn't tell me, I get protective and offended when people ask me about him, I feel lost when he isn't there... like a lost star in an empty night.
Him.
He makes me feel this way.
It's love.
That's the feeling, I'm certain of it now.
I am in love.
I am in love with Colby Brock.
He just doesn't know it.
I hate loving my rival.
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<3<3<3 I LOVE YOU GUYS, 90K PLUS READS FUCK ME JEEZ I WANT TO GO HAVE MY OWN DANCE PARTY THANKS YALL ARE ALL INVITED
So let me just say that I'm extremely thankful you guys are enjoying this book. It's been so hard to update with school. I am also a crip so HAHA, yeah I'm disabled for 6 weeks more lmao. I have a cast on now because guess what my genius ass has?? A LISCFRANC. So I got an MRI, which was an hour long hi def X-ray for my foot (and I slept through the whole hunt bitch ha it was at like 8 at night) and so the results said that I fractured some bones and yeah I have a cast. I'm out for the whole soccer season. Ya know what pisses me off?? People, they like to joke and shit and be like Caitlin, cmon run to ur next class, oh wait u can't HAHAH. And I'm just there like, fuck you. It's now so repetitive too when people see me, there like HEY CRIPPLED CAITLIN. That's going to be my name. I am so triggered sometimes though cuz like I get, I'm kinda done with sports and I can't even walk correctly. I got crutches. YA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT MY DOCTORS? So he starts to put on my cast and my one concern was
HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GO TRICK OR TREATING??
Lol, no answer besides get s fuckin wheelchair but whatever k, I'll just go to my friends party instead of trick or treating with my other friends lmao. (I belong to multiple friend groups) Anyways, y'all can virtually sign my cast ha.
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hugs, kt