A/N: Wow this is long. My bad :p
Sea Lane was actually quite a distance away from Worthing pier. So, after we had our lunch, we had to climb back into Harry's car and drive down the road a little more so that we could park closer to the pier. The closest we could park, however, was on the side of the road opposite the CrabShack restaurant – but it wasn't too bad – since it was literally just a 5 or 6-minute walk from the restaurant to the pier.
Once we climbed out of the car again, Harry wouldn't stop eagerly looking all around – clearly keen to see more of what Worthing had to offer. It was honestly so cute seeing how excited he could get in a new area – and the way he seemed so keen to explore more of my hometown was really touching. And so, like I promised him, I began to act like his tour guide – showing him restaurants, gift shops, and apartments – also telling him about some of my favourite places by the beach front that also meant so much to me.
"Oh – do you see that park across the road there?" I nudged Harry and pointed to the other side of the road, "With the monument and the five flags behind it?"
"Yeah," Harry replied with a nod.
"That's Steyne Gardens," I began to break out a fond smile as I looked towards the park, "it was where I used to take Piper for little outings in her pram. She took her very first steps there, too."
"Really?" Harry smiled as well, "How old was she then?"
"11 months old," I replied with an affectionate chuckle, "she was so excited. She was doing all this giggling and babbling because she was so happy. And as for me...seeing her walk for the very first time...it actually brought tears to my eyes."
"Aww," Harry's smile grew, "that's sweet, Leah. I can just imagine how delighted you must've been."
"Oh...delighted doesn't even begin to cover it," I chuckled again, "I was so proud of her."
"I don't doubt that you were," he chuckled softly, "hey...what's that building over there?"
"Which one?" I asked him.
"That one. That big one – right next to Steyne Gardens."
I was prompted to follow his gaze to the large building just to the right of the park.
"Oh," I said, "that's Warnes. They're some of the best seaside apartments in town."
"Really?" Harry's eyebrows rose.
I nodded. "And I think the penthouse costs over £1,000,000 to buy. That is a lot for an apartment around here. I think it's one of the main reasons why it's been listed for sale for about three years."
"Is that so?" He asked as he rose his eyes towards the Warnes penthouse, "Three years?"
"Yup," I nodded again, "I think it was added on Rightmove around 2014. Ashley & I came across its listing while we were trying to find a place to rent together after Piper turned two. The listing was already about a year old when we first found it," I then let out a sigh, "Ash & I both got intrigued and started looking at all the pictures of the apartment. It's a really nice-looking place. We would've loved to live there...if only we had the money," I chuckled, "oh well. If it ever does get sold, its buyer's gonna be pretty lucky."
"Yeah..." Harry said with a slow, thoughtful nod.
"Anyway, the pier's only a few more minutes away," I told him, "you still want to check it out?"
Harry looked at me and smiled before nodding again. "Definitely. It'd be nice to have a little walk along the beach front, too."
"Sure thing, Harry," I smiled back at him, "we'll use the beach to get to the pier. Let's go."
***
"Wow..." Harry leaned over the railings of Worthing pier like an excited child and broke out a smile, "this is awesome. This is fucking awesome."
I spat out some hair that the wind was blowing into my mouth and chuckled. "I'm glad you think so. I was worried that you'd find this boring."
"Are you kidding me? This is great," Harry's smile grew, "the sound of waves and the feeling of ocean wind blowing through your hair has always felt really calming to me. So, there is no fucking way I'm feeling bored right now."
I giggled and couldn't help breaking out a fond smile as I watched his head eagerly turning left and right as he shifted his gaze from one end of the pier to the other.
"What's that building down there?" He pointed towards the far end of the wharf.
"Oh, that? That's the Southern Pavilion. It's like a seaside café or bar. It's usually only open for special occasions, though. Like weddings or other big events like that," I replied.
The wind picked up and started blowing hair in my mouth again, and I tried to spit the hair out once more before I decided to just use my hands to push my hair back behind my head – but it all just blew straight back into my face once I did so – making me roll my eyes and let out a sigh.
Over the course of the day, the messy bun I'd twisted my hair into earlier this afternoon had gotten really loose – so I decided that I may as well just take the whole bun out and leave my hair down. Only problem with that was, due to all the wind, my hair was really giving me grief now.
"Your hair is really being a nightmare for you right now," Harry commented with an amused smile.
"I know," I rolled my eyes again, "the struggles of having long hair."
"Oh, I know the struggles," he chuckled, "pretty much another reason why I didn't mind cutting my hair last year."
"Aw, don't remind me!" I pouted, "I loved your long hair. I loved the way you'd flip it out of the way when it got in your eyes, and how it used to bounce along behind you whenever you did all that prancing on stage during OTRA. I literally cried out 'Fuck no!' when I saw your Instagram post after you chopped it all off."
Harry laughed. "Hey, I had to do it, Leah. And besides – it'll grow back."
"True, I guess," I sighed and chuckled quietly, "but...I think I'm actually getting used to your new hair, now. Just...really slowly."
Harry chuckled as well. "Good to know. Now, as for your hair..." he began to pull at the dark blue ascot scarf tied around his neck, "maybe this could help put an end to your misery?"
My eyes widened slightly as he held the scarf out to me.
"What..?" I asked him softly, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, take it," he replied with a smile, "my neck doesn't need it anywhere near as much as your hair does right now."
"Wow...thanks..." I smiled back at him shyly as I took the scarf from him and used it to tie my hair back into a loose ponytail, "this is...really sweet of you, Harry..."
"I try my best," Harry chuckled once more – but his own eyes began to widen a little as they suddenly fell on the side of my neck, "wait a minute...is that a neck tattoo, Leah?" He asked me with a little smirk.
My breath hitched softly as my fingers began to consciously hover above the small ink close to the nape of my neck – biting my lip since I'd completely forgotten that ponytails really showed it off.
"Oh...yeah," I let out a quiet, timid chuckle, "I'd forgotten about it for a moment."
"Why have I never seen that before?" Harry's smirk grew.
"It's because...I usually hide it by wearing my hair down...or by tying it in a low, messy bun that hangs under my ears and just covers it up," I explained to him, "ponytails, though...ponytails unveil it for all eyes to see."
"What is it?" He asked me, "Is it a flower?"
I nodded. "It's a lotus flower."
"When did you get that?"
"I got it...when I was sixteen," I admitted with a soft blush.
"Sixteen?" Harry's eyebrows rose, "How did you get a tattoo at sixteen? You can't get one until you're eighteen in the UK."
"Oh, my parents took me and my brother out of school for a couple of weeks to go to a wedding in Florida. The legal age is 16 over there," I said, "and me – being the rebel child that I was – ditched our hotel a few times to get tattoos."
"A...few times?" Harry seemed surprised, "How many tattoos do you have, Leah?"
"Three," I confessed, "I have three."
"Three?" Harry began to smile again, "What are they? Where are they?"
"You can't see the other two with my clothes on," I told him with a smirk and a quiet giggle, "but they're a crescent moon and a row of three roses."
"Could you point them out, maybe? If you're comfortable with it?" He asked, "I just...discovering you have three tattoos is kind of startling for me."
I laughed. "I don't blame you. I hardly tell anyone about them," I then cleared my throat, "the roses are here – across my hip and thigh," I told him as I patted my right hip a little, "and er...the crescent moon is, erm..." I bit my lip and blushed softly before slowly pointing under my left breast, "...here."
"Oh..." I saw Harry's cheeks flush slightly as well, "right...I see..." he then coughed a bit, "wow, Leah...I don't think it ever crossed my mind that you could possibly have tattoos."
"Yep...I was a rebel, for sure," I lowered my eyes, "I got piercings, too. I used to have three piercings in each ear, an eyebrow piercing, and a belly button piercing, as well."
"What?" Harry's eyes widened, "For real?"
"Mhmm," I nodded and chuckled softly, "but...after I had Piper, I...I had a total transformation, I guess. No more eyebrow piercing, no more belly button piercing, no more piercings in my ears except for the lobes...and no more showing off my tattoos. I didn't like how they reminded me of what I was before I became a mother, so I...I just...hid them all away..." I lowered my eyes and let out a sigh, "I hate who I used to be before Piper came along, Harry. All the rebellion, all the sex, all the parties...I've never regretted anything so much. I just...I really want to change. To leave all of that behind me and start afresh."
"You have changed, Leah," Harry smiled at me, "why do you think I was surprised to find out that you have tattoos? Because tattoos are the last thing that I would link to your character. That just goes to show how much of a different person you are now," he placed his hand over mine on top of the railing – making my eyes widen slightly, "look, I wasn't there when you were at high school, Leah. I don't know everything about what you were like back then. But what I do know, is that that's not who you are. Not anymore."
I smiled at him softly – blushing at the way his hand felt so warm and comforting on top of mine.
"Thanks, Harry," I told him quietly, "thank you for saying that. It means a lot to me."
Harry smiled back at me before he slowly began to turn serious again. "Leah...I have to admit...something just...doesn't add up to me."
I frowned slightly. "What...do you mean?"
"I just...I'm really having a hard time trying to imagine you as this 'high school bad girl'...because that's just the polar opposite of the Leah standing beside me right now. And I just...I have to ask..." he looked deep into my eyes, "why did you become the bad girl in the first place?"
Oh, fuck.
I lowered my eyes and bit down on my bottom lip anxiously. It's not that I didn't want to tell him – like I said, I felt like I could talk to him about anything – but...it's just been so long since I've thought back to the story of how I became the bad girl. The one story that I've forcefully buried deep inside me for so long – refusing to ever look back on it again – was now about to be unearthed. And I was fucking terrified.
"It's a..." I gulped and let out a shaky sigh, "it's a long story, Harry..."
"I've got time," Harry gave me a warm smile, "I have all the time in the world for you, Leah."
My eyes widened a little at his words – startled at what he'd just said.
"I...I-I hardly tell this story to anyone, Harry..." I told him shakily, "the only people who know every detail are Ashley, and my brother."
"You can trust me, Leah," I felt his thumb starting to gently stroke my hand, "I'll always respect your privacy. There's no way I'd ever tell a soul without your consent."
I felt my heart starting to accelerate as the way his thumb softly swiping across my fingers seemed to instantly pacify me. And the way he'd spoken with such sincerity just then was more than enough to assure me that I could tell him this story in full confidence. The only problem now was finding the courage to bring it up.
"Oh, fuck..." I tightened my grip on the railing in front of me and hung my head low – squeezing my eyes shut and biting down hard on my bottom lip, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry, it's just...it's a sensitive story."
"I understand, Leah," Harry told me softly, "take your time. Whenever you're ready," he then gave my hand a gentle squeeze, "I'm right here."
"OK..." I breathed in and out deeply and swallowed the lump in my throat as I forced myself to speak, "believe it or not, I...I-I wasn't a bad girl to start with. During my first few years of high school, I...I actually worked hard at school. I always arrived to class on time, I did my homework on time, and I...I got good grades."
"Really?" asked Harry, "So...what happened?"
"Well...when I was 15, I...I met this...this guy. And...his name was..." I had to hesitate and grimace, "his name was Curtis."
Saying his name again already began to pain me. But I sucked it up, clutched the railing harder, and pushed on.
"While I was still in Year 11, h-he was already in Year 12," I continued, "now, our relationship...our relationship was a typical good-girl-meets-bad-boy story. Curtis was...he was rebellious. He was a party animal. He had detentions, he had suspensions...he pretty much did everything that my parents told me I should never do. But I liked that about him. That actually made me feel...drawn to him..." I rolled my eyes at myself, "but it wasn't only his bad boy nature that attracted me, it was just...it was the way he just didn't care. He gave zero fucks about anything, and I admired that, because I thought that made him so...cool, and...sexy, even..." I lowered my eyes, "as a naïve 15-year-old who had absolutely no experience with boys...it wasn't long before I'd fallen for all his charms and cheekiness. And when he asked me out one day, I was so excited," I scoffed and shook my head at myself, "God, I was a dumbass..."
Harry didn't say a word, but his eyes remained fixed on me and didn't even wander for a second – and his hand continued to tightly clasp mine – waiting for me to continue.
"Anyway..." I cleared my throat, "of course, I said yes to him. And it wasn't very long before I officially became his girlfriend. And I was beyond ecstatic that I finally had my very first boyfriend. Someone who...who I thought I could talk to, whenever I wanted to...and someone who I could rely on to just...be there – to cuddle me and kiss me whenever I needed him the most. Although...it turned out that...Curtis wasn't exactly that type of boyfriend..." I sighed.
"Without a doubt, the one thing he was most interested in was sex. Sometimes he made me feel as if that was all he was interested in..." I felt myself tensing up a little, "there were so many times where I'd wonder if I should end things with him...but he was determined to keep me. He could somehow just...sense when I was feeling weird about our relationship, and that's when he'd tell me that he loved me, and that would sever all my thoughts about calling it quits straight away," I felt myself starting to tense up a little, "he was so convincing...he always made me think that he truly loved me. He'd look into my eyes, hold my hands and tell me so sincerely...and like an idiot, I believed him..." I began to speak through gritted teeth, "but I found out the truth. I found out how he really felt about me. I found out what he really thought about me..." I inhaled sharply, "he was nothing but a liar. A liar and a fucking..." my voice wobbled, "fuck..!"
"Leah..." Harry spoke up softly – his free hand coming up to slowly rub my back, "Leah, take a deep breath. Take a deep breath and calm down, OK love?"
Love..?
My mind too clouded with the thoughts of Curtis' betrayal, I didn't properly register what Harry had just called me in my brain. Instead, I let his gentle consoling soothe me, and I continued with my story.
"Sorry, sorry...." I sighed, "anyway...the day – well – the night it all turned to shit, Curtis convinced me to go with him to Celia Matthews' house party. Celia was...she was just one of those 'rich and popular' girls," I made quotation marks in the air with my free hand, "and her parents were out of town, so that's why she was able to start a party that night. And as soon as I stepped into that house, I began regretting it straight away. I never liked house parties, y'know? Way too loud, too much making out, alcohol and drugs, all that stupid shit. And at Celia's party, I didn't know anyone except Curtis, so, even though he was with me...knowing only one person out of all the people there...I still felt pretty alone. And I felt left out. All the people at this party...they didn't...look like me, or act like me. I was out of place for sure, and I felt like everyone could see that," I bit my lip, "Curtis...he stayed by my side for a little while, but later he just...disappeared. And..." I heard a soft whimper slip from my lips, "I...went looking for him. And as soon as I found him..." I felt my bottom lip starting to tremble, "God...I instantly wished I n-never had..."
~Flashback~
I emerged from the stuffy party room fanning myself with one hand and pushing my glasses a little further up my nose with the other. I quietly shut the door behind me to muffle the sound of the loud party music to make it a little easier on my ears.
"Curtis?" I called out quietly as I slowly made my way down the quiet hall.
It had been ages since I last saw him. And, to be honest, I was getting pretty pissed about it. I mean, he was the one who dragged me to this party, he was the only one I knew at this party, and he's just left me all alone in a room full of strangers. It doesn't exactly make him the Boyfriend of the Year.
Letting out a sharp, irritable sigh, I ditched the party so that I could try and look for Curtis. Slowly and silently, I made my way up to the first floor after I was unable to find him downstairs. And, as I reached the top of the stairs, my breath hitched softly as I saw a stream of light seeping through a door down the hall that was open by just a crack. And I could already hear muffled voices just from where I was standing.
"Curtis..?" I whispered anxiously – biting my lip as I carefully made my way down the hall.
I jumped a little as soon as I heard a little squeal and a thud – as if something had just been thrown against a wall. My eyes wide and my heart rate rising, I immediately began to rush towards the door. As I moved closer to the room, I heard more noises.
A giggle.
A sigh.
A soft moan.
"Curtis..." an unfamiliar female voice gasped, "Curtis, s-stop..."
"You don't want me to stop," my breath hitched as the sound of my boyfriend's voice filled my ears, "you never want me to stop, baby..."
"That was different..." the girl's voice moaned, "th-that was before...oh fuck..."
What..?
I felt my heart beginning to thump heavily inside my chest. My hands were trembling, and my breathing was shaky. Filled to the brim with dread and fear, I gingerly peered through the crack in the door – and I forced myself to hold back a gasp.
"You look so fucking good tonight..." Curtis groaned and forcefully pushed up the hem of the party host's tight red dress, "so sexy...just like the day I first met you..."
"W-We can't do this..." the curvy brunette moaned, "what about...w-what about Leah..?"
"What about her?" He asked her with a growl as his hands began to tackle his belt buckle – and my eyes immediately widened, "Fuck, I want you, Celia..."
"D-Don't you love her..?" Celia rolled her head back in anticipation against the wall, "C-Curtis..?"
"Fuck, of course not..." he pushed his jeans halfway down his thighs, "why the fuck would I love her?"
My jaw dropped open at his words – my hands tightly grasping the door frame and my eyes starting to sting with tears.
"Y-You said you did..!" Celia whined in pleasure as Curtis grabbed her panties and yanked them down her legs.
"Damn it, Celia, I just wanted you to be jealous..." Curtis growled, "just like I was when I found out you hooked up with Greg..." he buried his face into the crook of her neck and sucked angry love bites into her skin, "fuck...she could never make me happy. Her tits are too small, and she has no fucking idea how to please me. Not like you...not like you, Celia..."
He grabbed her thighs and hitched her up against the wall, and she let out a loud moan and threw her head back once more as he lowered her onto his dick – and I had to clap both hands over my mouth so that they couldn't hear the pained cry that forced itself out of my mouth as soon as he started thrusting into her.
I backed away from the room and ran back downstairs and all the way outside – collapsing against a nearby tree before breaking down into hysteric tears against the rough, broad trunk – tears cascading down my face like waterfalls and distraught, howling wails pouring out of my mouth.
I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. Even with all the wayward things I've seen Curtis do, I still never even imagined that he'd do something like this. All this time, he's said that he loves me...but now I know that he's nothing but a fucking liar, and a fucking cheat.
And I was nothing but a fucking idiot.
~~~~~
"It...i-it turned out..." I was beginning to stutter since recalling the story was making me break down all over again, "that...Celia was Curtis' ex-girlfriend...and he was planning to...t-to get back together with her all along. He only brought me with him to her party so that...th-that I wouldn't get suspicious if he went by himself..." I was trying so hard to hold back all my cries and sobs, "the only reason he was so determined to hold onto me...was because he just wanted to drive Celia mad with jealousy...like she apparently did to him when she hooked up with someone else..."
"He used you?" Harry's voice sounded tense.
"Pretty much..." I said with a nod and a sniffle, "I...I gave him...everything that was important to me Harry. My heart, my love, my trust...my vir-" I cut myself off – unable to say the word – and I let out a whimper, "and he just...threw it all away..."
"Oh, Leah..." Harry took both my hands and clasped them both tightly, "I'm so sorry. You...you didn't deserve that...that's fucking horrible..."
"Well...it's in the past. I...I really should just get over myself..." I sniffled again and shrugged, "so...obviously, I dumped his ass after that – not that he really cared..." I lowered my eyes and sighed, "and...after we broke up, I knew for a fact that I didn't want to be treated like that again. I didn't...want to be hurt again. So, when the next school year came along, I...I changed my image. And I walked through the halls on that first day as a completely different person."
"The bad girl?" Harry guessed.
I bit my lip and nodded. "I...I thought it was the only way. The only way to make people think that I didn't care what Curtis did to me, and the only way to make sure I never got my heart trampled on like that ever again..."
"By becoming a party animal who likes to drink and have sex?" Harry sounded slightly confused.
I nodded again. "By doing all that crazy party girl stuff...I was rebelling, and everyone thought I just didn't give any fucks. By being the bad girl, by drinking...by putting out a lot more than I used to...I began to shift from the one nobody wanted to the one everybody wanted. Just like Curtis was, as the bad boy. And I wanted that. I wanted others to want me, so that Curtis would look at me and want to kick himself for doing what he did, because if he didn't, then I'd still be his..." I had to grimace at my own foolish logic.
"By never getting into relationships...by just having one-night stands or no-strings relationships with guys, I never felt anything. I never cared. I never...fell for anyone. And so, my heart never broke again, because I never felt the need to take the risk of letting someone break it..." I lowered my eyes, "but then...I met Heath. And when I met Heath, I made the exact same mistake I made when I first met Curtis. I fell too hard...for the completely wrong person..." my voice broke, "they both treated me the exact same way, you know. Curtis betrayed me, and left me all alone...and Heath betrayed me, and left me all alone, with a baby. They may as well be twins," I shook my head hopelessly, "it serves me right, though...after what I let myself get into..."
"No, Leah. Don't think that," Harry told me without hesitation, "don't you ever, ever think that. You're still the last person in the world who could've ever deserved this."
I didn't say a word and only shook my head again – my bottom lip quivering as another tear slid from my duct and landed softly on the railing of the pier.
"Look at me, Leah," Harry took me by the shoulders and pulled me closer to him, "I want you to look at me."
Reluctantly, I sniffled and slowly lifted my head to meet his eyes.
"Just because you've been unlucky before, it doesn't mean you'll be unlucky forever. And just because you've made mistakes, it doesn't mean that your past heartbreaks are your karma," he spoke to me in a soft, gentle voice, "you are in no way, any less deserving of love than anyone else."
I shook my head a third time. "No. No, I'm done. I'm just done," my voice wobbled, "nobody would want to be with someone who has a young daughter because she's an ex-school slut who got pregnant at 16, anyway..." I lowered my eyes, "so, there's not really any point in wanting to try again..."
"You only think that because you're always focusing on the bad things about you, Leah," Harry told me, "for once, just try to think of the good things instead."
"Good things?" I had to scoff, "Like what?"
"All of this...everything that's happened to you," he replied, "you may not realize it yourself, but that's made you so strong. The way you still know how to smile, and how amazing you are as a mother to Piper...that just goes to show how independent and dignified you are, that it doesn't even matter who you were before," he began to smile at me, "and not only that...you're also sweet, Leah, and gentle, and compassionate – not to mention very hospitable."
My breath hitched softly after he spoke – my heart feeling instantly warmed by what he was saying.
"W...What..?" I asked him in a small voice, "You...you actually think that..?"
"Of course I do, Leah," Harry's smile grew, "no matter what mistakes you've made, I'm still in awe of you – because even with everything you've been through, you've still emerged from it all as such a wonderful person, and I think that's sick."
I had to let out a soft chuckle. "Really?"
Harry nodded without hesitation. "I really admire you, Leah. In more ways than one."
My eyes widened, and a soft gasp escaped my lips at his words.
In more ways than one..?
What did he mean by that..?
"Now, come on," he smiled at me again and dried my tear stains with the backs of his fingers – startling me a little (but that doesn't mean that I didn't like it), "don't cry, OK? That Curtis prick isn't worth your tears," he moved his hands back down to give my own hands a comforting squeeze.
I gave him a soft smile. "Yeah. You're right. He's not."
For a moment, we stood there together – our hands clasped and our fingers slowly intertwining. Time and space seemed to freeze all around me as I looked into his eyes...those deep-set, sparkling emeralds that always made me weak in the knees.
My breath hitched softly as I felt him pull me closer to him – my breathing shallow and ragged as my lips were brought just inches before his own. I was practically frozen with anticipation, but I could still feel my cheeks tingling with a hot blush, and I could still feel my heart beginning to thunder rapidly inside my chest – trembling, ready to break right through its chains and open up to the perfection in front of me.
The next few moments passed by in a heartbeat.
Before I knew it, my lips were sealed – and they were sealed by the lips of Harry freaking Styles.
A/N: Look at that...Harah finally kissed!! :D You guys actually have my friend to thank for this – because I actually asked her opinion on whether or not I should make Harry and Leah kiss in this chapter, and her advice was that I should "make Harry swallow her face" xD so yep I imagine she'd say that you're welcome lol :p
I hope you enjoyed the chapter <3