Bella's P.O.V
Anticipation, eagerness, unsteadiness, call it whatever you want to call it. The feeling you have in the pit of your stomach before you reunite with your loved ones after a very long, traumatic time is not very pleasing. Soon after Charlie was taken into custody, Jared, Irina and I got in a car and drove as fast as we possibly could back to Forks. I could feel my heartbeat in the back of my throat, the buzzing deep inside my head and sweat running down every inch of my body. It was an endless four hour drive, but by the time we got there, it was worth it.
Officers already had men in cuffs off by the side of the road in the Manor, rounding them up and putting them in vans by the time we got there. They were so many, perhaps planning on an ambush to hit me harder before I died. It didn't matter at the end because the moment I saw Edward step out of the manor, in that same way he did the day we met, I knew we'd be okay. I ran to his arms and hugged him like my life depended on it. He held me tightly against him, assuring me that he was okay, that everyone was okay.
And they were.
Those men didn't get an inch close to them because Jared's men were here to keep an eye out for them. They were ready for war. Mia was sound asleep in her room, with her nightlight on and her little body wrapped in a burrito the way she liked it. Irina and I sat off by the side of her bed watching her in silence once the cops had left. The clock stroke five in the morning and no one in the family had gotten an hour of sleep.
"She's so beautiful," Irina said, staring at her. "Can't believe that came from me."
I nod in silence.
She turns her head to me, her eyes tearing and her lower lip quivering. "I know it's not fair for me to ask, Bella, but I have to. Do you think... That perhaps I could...?"
"Do you want her back?"
She sighs. "I was so confused when I found out I was pregnant with her, on top of that keeping that I was an informant for the F.B.I and trying to fool Charlie. But, we're better now, aren't we?" She turns back to Mia. "I think we can actually be a family."
I look at Mia as well. Can I give her back? After almost three years of having her with me and treating her as mine? After everything James and I did to keep her safe. I love her as my own and I love my half sister, she's the reason there isn't a bullet in the back of my skull. But Mia... She's a different story.
"No."
"What?"
I look back at Irina. "I'm sorry, Irina, but I can't. Mia is legally mine and even if there was something we could do for you to have her, I couldn't. I've raised her, perhaps in not the best conditions because I was sick and then my need for revenge, but I'm the only mother she knows."
"You're not gonna use her as your salvation-"
"She is my salvation. This whole family is," I whisper. "Irina, you made your choice. I made mine. You can still be part of her life, her favorite auntie, watch her grow... But not as her mother. That'll be my role from now on."
"She'll have to know eventually that you're not her real mother. She'll never know that truth? Doesn't that count as lying?"
I sigh. "That'll be up to me, her mother to decide."
To my great surprise, Irina agreed. She agreed on being her aunt, on being here every once in a while to see her but never as her mother. I wanted to take that role, it was my responsibility and I owed it to James, my best friend.
And life went on.
It took time to adjust. Edward and I moved back to Seattle with Mia. He worked while I went to night school and worked on getting a degree in English and Creative Writing. I figured I could use my experiences to write a book. I could be a very good fiction writer. My life could be my own version of the big bad woof.
As time progressively went by, Edward suggested that perhaps it'd be a good idea if I saw a therapist. Things were falling into place, but not fully and certainly not in the way we both had hoped.
"It'd be a good way to get anything off you chest that you don't feel comfortable sharing with me, love. I understand."
And he did. He knew I still had hidden emotions, hidden feelings about everything that happened and that I didn't share with him. But he understood and that made me love him even more. I started going every Wednesday for an hour, sometimes more and I could see the difference. I walked lighter, my head high up in the air. I became playful, giggly. I laughed, I smiled. I became a whole different, better me.
Mia was soon three years old and everyone gathered for her birthday. They came from Forks and Irina and Jared came as well from Chicago. It wasn't a big party, just a small family one but I could see the happiness in my little girl as she played with Teddy, Emmett's and Rosalie's son. We even got her a dog, since I hated the fact that she alone most of the time when she was with me. I knew the feeling of not having anyone to play with, not having someone to share your secrets with.
I started to see a friend of Carlisle for regular check up. God only knew if what I was given would work forever, if it wasn't just a matter of time before my body started to rot all over again. He had high hopes that it wouldn't be the case. He believed that I'd had the chance to live a long and happy life, but it was a matter of me gaining control.
"You can sit up now," Dr. Wilson said. I sit up and pull my hair from my face. "How did Mia like her party?"
"Loved it, never seen a smile as big as hers," I answer. "First birthday party I've ever been to."
"Made you feel like a child, didn't it?"
I smile. "More like a happy mother." There's a slight pause between the two of us. "So, everything okay?"
He nods. "Yes, everything seems to be functioning according to the handbook," he joked. "You seem very concern?"
"I was at the verge of dying, Doctor. I'd like not to experience it again." I take a deep breath and look down at my hands. "I'd like to get control over my body again."
"You will," he assured me. He took an envelope from his pocket and sighed. "My hopes is that things will continue to smoothly as they have been. I got the blood results and they are as clean as this hospital. Except for a small thing."
"Oh, don't tell me I'm pregnant," I joked.
He simply stared.
"I'm not, am I?"
I was. And it terrified me to my very core. I was expecting a child of my own with Edward and it scared me shitless. Dr. Moore, my therapist, asked me what was the difference between Mia and my unborn child. I said, "everything." I wasn't there during Irina's pregnancy, I was more busy looking after myself, shopping and looking for a way to get Charlie out of my way.
Even when Mia was born and placed under my care, I didn't take care of her, bonded with her in her early months. She moved from sitter to sitter, from person yo person who was willing to care for her under a fair pay. It wasn't until she was a bit older that I started to look after her and it wasn't much. This would be so much different, I'd go through it. The pregnancy, the feeling of having another life inside me and going through the emotions and feeling home. Something inside me was scared that a part of... My mother was inside me, that I wouldn't be able to love him as much as I once wished to be loved.
No one knows the huge story behind Mia coming into my life, it's so much bigger than me simply taking my sister's daughter in my arms and calling her mine. So, so much bigger.
That night I came home to Edward playing with Mia on the living room floor. He was laying on his back, knees up and Mia was sitting on his lap and leaning up against his legs. He blew on her stomach, earning a beautiful belly laugh from Mia. I silently watched them for a couple of minutes before the little blue eyed demon turned around and looked at me.
"Ma!" She called out and stretched her arms out to me.
I walk up to her and take her from Edward, who looks up at the both us with loving eyes.
"Did you two have a little fun today?" I ask her as I take a seat on the couch.
"Da!"
Edward props to his elbows and smiles. "She was in a playful mood today."
I smile when I see the little spark in his eye whenever Mia called him Da. It's almost like a trial, she's starting to see him as a fatherly figure. He buys her clothes, picks her up from school and tucks her in bed with me. It's normal that she'll start seeing him as a father and that he doesn't see her as anything but his daughter.
"How was your doctors appointment?" He asked as he took a seat next to me.
I sigh and lean back against him. "Life changing."
He scrunched his nose. "How so?"
I try my best to hide my smile. "Because next year we'll have another pair of little feet running around."
His eyes popped open. "What? Are you serious?"
I nod slowly. "Yes..."
He sat up. "You're not joking?"
I shake my head. "No, Edward. I'm pregnant."
He was ecstatic, he was beyond happy about the fact that Mia was gonna have a sibling. It was simply the way he saw it, we had a child and we were about to give that child a brother or sister, or maybe both, he joked. I tried to see the humor and happiness in the situation. I couldn't, something lingered in the back of my and it stared at me when I stood in front of the mirror. Edward stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
"What's wrong?"
I shrug it off. "Nothing."
"You're scared."
I look down. "Maybe..."
He slightly turned me around and tilted my head up until our eyes meet. "Bella, you're not going to be the perfect mother to our child or to our Mia. Neither am I. But there's a huge difference between you and your parents and it's right here." He placed his hand right where my heart is located. "Your heart is the purest, most wonderful thing you have. This allows you to wake up every morning and look into her bedroom door just to make sure she's okay, wipe her tears when she cries and sing her to sleep and make sure she's okay every day before bed. It's what allows us to be together."
I look at him with teary eyes. "Do you really think I can do this?"
He smiled. "I know it, baby. I'll be here for you every step of the way. I promise."
Author's Note:
The ending is coming next chapter as well as new stories!! Yay!!
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~Joan0324