Selfish

Thursday; December 24th, 2015

Bella P.O.V

Christmas Eve was here and Esme was all over the place getting everything ready for tonight's dinner. Alice and Rosalie were just as excited for tonight. There was going to be a big family dinner that included Rosalie's family and Jacob's too. It was something they did as a tradition.

I found it that him coming over was a big turn down for my own excitement. Since the ball, it was clear to everyone in the family that Edward and I were a couple but it also meant that Jacob was not happy about it. He came once in a while for the soccer practice but it hurt Edward that his best friend was being distant but he knew why and so did I.

I walk up to Edward, who sits on his bed with his head between his hands. I sit behind him, begging him from behind and kiss his temple.

"Hey," I said as I kissed down to his cheek.

"Hi," he whispered back, taking my hand in his. He sighed before turning his face to mine and kiss me.

With my free hand, I caress his hair, pulling away from his face. "Are you okay?" I asked. It surprised me to ask but I did. Something seemed to bother him.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"I'm good. You're mother is going crazy about dinner," I point out.

He nodded. "Yeah, she usually does. Didn't yours?" He asked.

"I hears you were going out," I change the subject. I'm way into a good mood to talk about her. "Where are you going?"

"Turkey hunting," he answered with a smile. "There's this farm my dad always takes us ever since we were children."

I smile. "Sounds like fun. Only boys?" He nodded. "Make sure you get the biggest one."

Suddenly, he flips me over until I'm under him and he's on top of me. I laugh with him as I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He smiles at me, leans over and kisses me once before pulling away just to the point where our noses touch.

"Are you going to miss me while you're off hunting turkeys?" I asked.

He smiled. "Of course I am. Are you while you're here dealing with my crazy mother?"

He has no idea, I've deal with worse.

"I am," I answer before pulling him into a kiss. I pull away and smile at him.

He smiles back, pulling my hair away from my face. There was a look in his eyes, something that said something I just couldn't understand what it meant. Even when I didn't know what it meant, I still liked that he looked at me that way. It made me feel special, something no one has ever made me feel before.

His eyes made my heart pump faster and faster and his arms around me made me feel warmer, I loved how it felt. I'm sure he loved it, too. We laid there in silence just looking at each other for a while until it was time for him to go.

Once he left, I was alone with Esme, Alice and Rosalie. Esme asked us to help her out in the kitchen to start preparing dinner. I accepted since this was technically my first Christmas.

All the other Christmases that I spent with Elizabeth were horrible, well, not actually horrible but they just never happened. As a little girl I would write to Santa Clause and when I woke up Christmas Morning there was no tree and no toys. The cookies remained untouched and when I asked, I was told to grow up.

There was no Christmas tree, no decorations, no Christmas carols, no magic, no love. I don't remember a single Christmas where I was actually happy, except... For one. It's a faint memory, it happened so long ago.