(I am so glad that you enjoyed the last chapter! It is definitely one of my favourites. This chapter is definitely less 'exciting' as it is more of a filler to prepare for C56 ; ) Regardless, I hope you enjoy! And, I am sorry this was not updated the last two weeks, I forgot >_< . Exams are stressful. But here it is! And you're in for quite a long chapter...oh, and the gif just ignore Olga!)
I MADE AN escape and ran outside.
Did he just?
Does he really?
I let out a deep breath and leaned against the wall. I tried to steady my heart rate but it seemed pointless. My heart pounded in my chest but I could barely register anything.
He actually cared about me. Despite what his actions portrayed he did not loathe me. He did feel remorse every single time he was with another girl behind my back. He had a heart.
Everything aforementioned is exactly what I hoped for, for what seemed liked ages. And yet I was not in there telling him that I shared those feelings. Instead, I was out here, barely breathing.
Part of me was angry.
If he felt this way, why could he not at least try and show it? Why can't he tell me? I was not that fragile. I wanted him to tell me how he felt and then I could tell him and then...maybe we can have something.
I was angry that he was letting his fear of possibly hurting me stop himself from at least trying to have a real relationship with me. Did he not understand that by refraining himself he was already hurting me?
But then, the other part of me was afraid.
If he kinda liked me and I kinda liked him...that meant we kinda liked each other. Anybody else would have rejoiced but I could not.
I know who he tried to be, who he was and who he is. I had seen him at some of his lowest points and he had been with me during mine. And that was part of what made it frightening.
What if we really didn't work out that way? Then we would have ruined everything we had for nothing? We would be in an ever whose place than where we started.
I didn't want that.
But I also did not want what we have right now.
We slept together practically every other night. And despite the fact we have some feelings for each other, it was still mostly meaningless. I wanted more.
I need more.
And what if he couldn't give that to me?
So, in the end, we were both fearful of what could be so we decided to settle when we should never have settled.
I was afraid of him never truly committing to a relationship and he was frightened that if he did commit, his somewhat second nature would kick in and he would eventually break my heart.
And this fear would probably stop us from ever really getting anywhere in our relationship.
IT HAD BEEN more than a week and we had barely spoken to each other since that night.
He never called me name from his bed. I never called him. In fact, we would not even look at each other.
It was like the ruin of our relationship had already started and I hated it. I hated the empty feeling in my stomach as I stared at his closed door or as I heard the door slam as he left without a word.
I hated it all.
I was lying on my bed, tapping the air as I listened to my music. It blasted in my ear drowning out all other sounds. My happiness, unfortunately, was short lived as my earphones were pulled (quite rudely) out my ears.
"You're going to go deaf,"
After more than a week that's what he decides to tell me?
"Go to hell," I stick my tongue out trying to grab my earphones out of his grasp.
"Oh, I plan to! One of my closest friends, the devil, is there waiting for me," He winks and I roll my eyes.
"Get up," He demands.
"Why? I only need to dress up for my opening later," I groan.
"I want to bake," He says and my eyes widen in surprise.
I mean, not that the idea of him baking was entirely surreal but I had never pictured him in a kitchen icing cupcakes. He had cooks who did that for him and I thought all he cared for was work.
He does not let me question him as he pulls me up by my wrist and drags me downstairs. I was left wondering as we descended the stairs how we could possibly go from avoiding each other to baking with each other?
We entered the kitchen and I saw that he already took out all the ingredients and necessary appliances. He grins with pride and I could not help but smile.
"What are we baking exactly?" I ask as I join him on the other side of the counter.
"Chocolate biscuits. I'm in a chocolate mood," He tells me as he rubs his hands together eagerly.
We wash our hands before studying the recipe. I cut the butter as he measures the sugar to cream them together. We add the flour, vanilla, eggs and, of course, the cocoa. We worked in silence, the ease we felt around each other a few moments ago suddenly disappearing.
I tried my best not to look at him, keeping my gaze fixated on the mixture. He preheats the oven, sprays the tray and searches for cookie cutters that I would never have guessed we owned. He stands behind me, putting his head on the counter on the other side of the mixer. He looks over my shoulders into the bowl.
"Looks good," He says, he sounded so close to my ears.
"Yep," I breathe out nervously.
In my peripheral vision, I notice him open his mouth but nothing comes out. He promptly closes it and steps away allowing me to breathe.
"What colour dress are you wearing tonight?" Diego finally asks.
"Dark blue," I answer and he nods. I quickly turn around and switch off the mixer.
"Done," I say and he looks up with an excited grin.
He comes over and takes the mixture out of the bowl and lets it fall onto the counter. I sprinkle flour on the counter to ensure it does not stick and onto the rolling pin. He nods for me to do the rolling. It was honestly tougher than I anticipated. It felt like a workout as I tried to roll it out evenly.
"So you can slap me and leave a red mark yet you cannot roll out biscuit dough?" He asks me, his lips quirking up in amusement.
He leans over and stands behind me again. His larger hands cover mine and we roll the dough together. I tried to keep my breathing and heart rate steady but it was almost impossible. It seemed like ages since we had been this close.
"See, not too difficult," He whispers and I nod. I knew if I turned my head our lips would meet.
Did I want that?
Did he want it?
It would not be the same if I kissed him now considering what I know. Kissing him would have a deeper meaning. A meaning. Every other time we kissed it never really meant anything because we never shared our feelings for each other.
It would be different for me because I actually knew how he felt. And I suppose I had an idea of how I felt.
But why would it be so different for him?
Surely he had no idea I liked him. He and Camila may be very close but I knew that she would never tell him that. And I really did try not to be so trite.
Unless finally admitting his feelings for me changed everything for him as well.
Which was exactly what I did not want!
We reverted to silence yet again. We cut the shapes and rolled the remaining dough a few times until we were finally done.
"Hell, I cannot wait to eat them," Diego mutters running a hand through his hair and I laugh. He looks up as I laugh and he smiles.
"Don't get too excited. We still have to clean up," I remind him and he groans, "And no, you are not getting out of it," I add on before he can protest.
I put all of the dishes in the sink and when I turn around I see that Diego has not moved. I step over and am about to shout at him when he suddenly blows flour in my face.
"What the hell?" I yell as I see strands of white hair fall on my face.
He stares at my appearance for a moment before doubling over in laughter. I scoop a handful of flour and open my hands over his head.
"Oh, you did not just do that princess," He says with a warning tone and I smirk.
He jumps up and lunges for the flour. He picks some up and throws it at me. We continue throwing flour, sugar, anything we can find at each other. Curses were flying around the room as something hit us. I settle for the cocoa and use a measuring cup before aiming for him.
He somehow managed to dodge it by ducking. He tries to keep an eye on me while scooping heaps of flour. I look around frantically and grab an egg and throw it during the split second his eyes left mine.
"I'm going to fucking kill you," He says and he scrapes the egg yolk off his hair.
I laugh (practically cackle) but stop short when he lunges for me. I scramble away knocking eggs off the counter onto the floor effectively making him slip.
Shit. If he was going to let me live before, he certainly would not now.
He gets up surprisingly fast. In shock (and maybe a little bit of trepidation), I freeze. In a swift movement, Diego has his arms wrapped around my waist. He gets an egg and cracks it over my head. I feel the substance slowly spread down my hair. As his final touch, he dips his finger into the flour and then touches my nose.
"I must say, Letta, you have never looked so beautiful. I think I have made a masterpiece," He smirks and he looks at the mess he's made.
His eyes fall to my lips in a fleeting movement I was not sure really happened. He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. He suddenly pulls away and I stumble slightly.
"What time are we leaving?" He asks, looking down.
"Half past five," I say softly and he nods.
Without another word, he exits the kitchen.
I lean back against the counter letting out a shaky breath. It felt like I had just emerged from underwater after minutes of holding my breath. My head was spinning and there was not enough oxygen in the air.
I was finally ready at twenty-five past five. I had spent an hour doing a little bit of cleaning in the kitchen but it was still in a total mess. I studied my look in the mirror. I wore a floor-length, dark blue, chiffon dress. It was an off-the-shoulder dress with a low back. The top had slight vertical ruffles.
I decided to leave my hair open (after spending ages washing it) and simply apply mascara. I was about to apply lipstick when a voice stopped me.
"No lipstick," Diego says from the doorway. I look at him using the mirror.
"Why not?" I ask him, the lipstick hovering near my lips.
"It limits what I can do because it may smudge," He says simply.
Before I can question him he walks down the hall. I sigh and slowly put the lipstick down. I check my appearance once more. I play with the necklace, the same one that Diego got for me when we were on our honeymoon. The pendant lay just below the middle of my collarbone.
The honeymoon I accepted the way I felt about Diego.
I finally get up and leave my bedroom. Diego was waiting by the door, swiping his phone. Probably doing work. His jaw would either clench or his eyebrows would furrow. Whereas when he spoke to Camila or Marco he would always smile.
"I'm ready," I tell him and he looks up. His eyes move down my body and then find their way back to my face. He does not say anything, he merely gets up and walks towards the door.
You look great Violetta! Said by anybody but Diego.
Oh, thanks! At least it is one less thing to be nervous about because, after all, this is my debut! I would reply with gratitude.
I sigh and follow Diego.
This was going to be a long night.
By the time we arrived at the hall, my hands were sweating and I could hardly breathe. This was different to every interview I did with Diego to showcase our union, now, it was not about me. It was about so much more and I was so scared that I would mess it up.
Whether Diego sensed my anxiety or not, he seemed indifferent to everything. It was as if he was being forced to come here and that he would rather be in his study or the office. And it, honestly, hurt.
I ignored Diego's waiting arm and pushed past him. For the first time, I didn't need Diego to get in. The guard saw my face and immediately stepped aside. I grinned with pride and sent him a grateful nod.
"Oh, thank god! You're here. We need to get backstage," Emily says, grabbing my arm. How she found me the moment I entered the door would remain a mystery to me.
As we ascended the stairs to the stage, we passed a rectangular that seemed more extravagant than the rest. I guessed that it was our table. Emily handed me a speech card.
"You are pretty much explaining our goals and then, together, we announce the name," She informs me.
I read the card a few times and I am halfway through it for the sixth time, when Emily tells me that it is time.
Breathe Violetta. Just breathe. No matter how horribly this goes, in the end, you are doing this for the good of others.
I remind myself of all the late nights I have spent trying to put this together with Emily over Skype. We worked out the first events we would hold, how much capital we would need to invest into this to get it up and running and our first destinations. But it all seemed simpler when I wrote everything on my notepad, now, everything was real.
What if we missed something?
What if we overestimated people?
Maybe they would not trust us after what happened with the Frazier Foundation.
Maybe they were not ready to invest in another organisation.
What if we could not effectively convince them that we were different?
Emily hands me a microphone and we make our way toward center stage. She begins her greeting and after the first word, the hall is silent. I tried not to look around but I could not help it. There were at least a dozen tables each seating ten people. My heart began to race.
I had never been a great public speaker. I would freeze in front of twenty people. Now, that girl had to gather up every drop of courage in her to speak in front of more than a hundred people.
I studied each table, looking for familiar faces. I reach the back of the hall and finally find somebody.
Federico.
I invited him but I didn't think he would come. He notices that I am looking at him and he gives me a thumbs up. I instantly smile, suddenly feeling much better. In his personal invitation, I had explained that it would really help if he was there considering my stage fright.
And he came.
"And because of this, Violetta, my co-chair, and I have decided to start up our own organisation," Emily turns to me.
I take a deep breath and begin, keeping my eyes fixated on Federico.
"We have constructed four points or plans that are, essentially, our manifesto. We plan on creating a better future. It is not easy, we are aware of that, but we hope that together we can build a world with fighting for.
"We plan on aiding those in need. Around one billion live in poverty, which is every other child. We cannot stand idle and watch the future of this world barely get by. We want to help them, build homes, schools and provide nutrition. They are the future and they deserve a fair chance in this world.
"We plan on restoring the earth back to what it used to be. The earth is practically dead because of everything that we and those who came before we did. It is our job to ensure there is something for the future generations to live on. We want to ensure that nature is not hurt more than it already has been.
"Those are plans. Which is why number four, is that we plan on executing all of the above. This organisation will not talk about making the world a better place, we will make the world a better place. And we want each and every one of you to be a part of this.
"We are not an elite society. Everybody and anybody can contribute to our cause. The benefit of being with us is that you have the means to make a real difference. We need each and every one of you to help. We are a part of this world, and if that isn't a good enough reason then there never will be."
There is a loud applause. Federico grins at me and I return it. Emily and I walk down the stairs on opposite side. We join at the main table. We hold up our champagne glasses and the rest of the hall does the same.
"To CARE!" We announce loudly.
I sit down, giddy with excitement. It actually went well. I didn't mess up.
"You were amazing," Diego says, squeezing my hand underneath the table.
"Thank-"
"Now, the first dance will be my husband and I and Violetta and hers. Please join us on the dancefloor afterwards," Emily says.
Diego holds out his hand and I swear there was fear in his eyes. I take it and he breathes out. He gives me a slight smile in relief. He leads me to the empty circular space that separated the tables in halves.
"Have you gotten better?" He asks, gently placing one hand on my waist.
"I am afraid I do not spend all of my free time behind a closed door slow dancing with cleaning equipment," I tell him and he gasps dramatically.
"And here I thought you would practise just for me," He says and I laugh, burying my face in his chest to try and suppress the sound.
He laces our fingers together and brings our hands close to our bodies. I turn my head slightly, resting my cheek on his chest. We move our feet slowly with our feet in between each others' because of our proximity. We move in a circle in a slow pace, with him leading as usual.
If I led we would probably end up dancing into a nearby table.
"A twirl? Everybody can see exactly what they are missing," He whispers.
"I will probably fall," I tell him and I feel his chest vibrate as he chuckles.
"Dancing is about trust, I would never let you fall,"
Too late. I have already fallen for you.
He steps away and holds my left arm up in the air with his right. I spin around 360 degrees and he pulls me back in before lifting me off my feet slightly. I laugh as he sets me back down.
"Not the worst thing was it?" He says with a smirk, looking down at me.
"Okay, you win," I say, bending back slightly to look up at him.
We freeze for a moment, his hand on the curve of my back keeping me up. Emily's voice announcing the end of the song brings us out of our reverie.
I pull away and he lets go abruptly. I walk away towards the door leading outside and he just stands there. I am about to close the door when I see that he is still standing there.
Again.
It happened again.
We were close and we almost kissed but we didn't.
Again.
Had we ever been this awkward between each other before? It seemed the worst it had ever been.
I reach down and pulled my phone out of the strap of my shoe. I dial Francesca's number and put it against my ear.
"I thought you were supposed to be super super busy at your super super elegant party for your super super cool organisation," She answers and I roll my eyes.
"I really need the serious side of you right now," I say and I hear her hum.
"I think she left with Leon," She says.
"Are you guys ever apart?" I ask.
"Well for some reason whenever you call..." She trails off with a laugh.
"I have a problem with Diego," I blurt out and she becomes quiet.
"Is he with another girl again? Is he drunk? Okay, probably not. He is way smarter than that. You know what? I am going to stop guessing and will just let you speak,"
"Thanks. Okay, so I have already told you everything that happened when we went to his father," I pause for her to answer.
"Yes, and I still think you were an idiot for leaving even though the conversation had not ended," Francesca says under her breath.
"Well since then, we have not been able to talk well. The entire week. And today, we finally interacted. First, we baked -do not ask-, and we had a bit of a food fight and we ended up close to each other. And you would think we would kiss, considering our type of relationship. And yet there was nothing.
"And then now! We had a dance, a slow dance, of course, you know the way these fancy things work. And so I spun around and he pulled me back in and then we looked into each other's eyes. And I know, this sounds stupid but it was a moment. And again, we could have kissed but we didn't. And now I am scared that everything is ruined, exactly what I was trying to avoid," I finish and take a deep breath.
"Well, is it the first-time you guys have had this degree of problems?" She asks.
"It has happened before but under different circumstances. It would be because we were angry at each other. Now, we aren't angry. He does not look at me like he abhors me and neither do I. It is just that we both have feelings for each other but we have not told each other. Which is quite a problem-"
"Yes, yes. You are all about communication and such," She cuts me off.
"I have no idea what to do Fran. I have never felt this way about anybody before. Despite every loathsome thing he has done, I can't stay away. This was never supposed to happen. Diego and I have an arranged marriage after all!"
I stop pacing the moment I hear a voice.
"An arranged marriage?"
I cut the call after whispering an apology. I turn around with my eyes closed.
Please do not be the person I think it is. I open my eyes and wince.
Federico.
It seems he just found out the truth.
Hey!! How was the chapter? I suppose two almost-kisses weren't necessary but I decided to be dramatic ; ).
So, Federico. Dieletta. CARE (Do not talk about the name, I ran out of ideas alright). Next chapter you get Marco! Ah, I love him.
The format will be a bit different in that chapter but hopefully, it will not be confusing.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Also, I hope this chapter was not too long. I outlined what was supposed to happen in these last chapters and I cannot shift it which is why some are longer than usual. 4097 words, I did not know I could write that much.
Thanks for reading 🙈 Sorry for any errors 💚 (It's not proofread. Oops)
~Lexy 😈