“Wow, you don’t look good.” Trina says when I open the door the next day. I’m standing there in my pajamas, holding a box of doughnuts that my dad just came back from the bakery with.
“It was a long night.” I say, and lean against the doorjamb.
“Well, you should get dressed because we have to go buy a cake.”
“I thought Jared was making one.”
“Jared’s being a butthole, so we’re just going to go find one. Sabrina would have made one, but she’s not feeling good.” Trina says, tapping her combat boot against the siding on the house.
“Oh.” I respond. “Well, I don’t think I should go. I have to eat these doughnuts, and that may take up most of the day. And I already started rereading Harry Potter, so just tell Peter I said Happy Birthday.”
Trina looks at me and grabs a doughnut out of the box. “So, where do you want to go to buy him a present? I was going to buy it last weekend, but I was in jail, so now I’m pressed for time.”
”Trina, I’m not going with you today. I need to be alone.”
“Nobody should ever be alone. Come on. We’re going to go party. And Peter is letting me pick what kind of soda I can buy.”
I pick up a lemon doughnut and take a bite out of it, letting the powder cover my cheeks. Trina purses her lips and takes another bite of her doughnut. “I’m not going. My dad would never let me.”
“So drug him again.”
“That was a onetime thing!” I laugh, letting her inside. She shuts the door and takes a seat at the table in the kitchen, which is hardly ever used. I sit across from her, handing her a paper towel for her face.
“I will sit here until you go get dressed. Just tell your dad that you’re going to a vigil or something.”
“A vigil?”
“Yeah. It’s this thing they do for dead people, and there are candles, and singing, and it’s like a big shrine to the person who died.”
“I know what a vigil is. I just don’t think any of her friends are that dedicated.”
“Have you never lied to your parents? They’ll believe anything.”
“I have never had to lie to my parents, because they are divorced and I see my mother once a month. But my dad knows that I’m better than Christy. I’m not lying to him then.”
“Tell him the truth then. You’re going to a birthday party for your dead sister’s boyfriend.” I raise my eyebrows at her and take another bite of doughnut. “I told you, I’m sitting here until you come with me.”
“Fine. To shut you up, I will go.” I grumble, going upstairs to Mom’s room. Dad is sitting on the bed, looking at some of the picture books that I left scattered around the house yesterday.
“Hey, Charlie.” He says, wiping his eyes and turning away.
“Dad, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter if I see you cry. I’m just your daughter.” He shrugs his shoulders and hugs me tightly.
“Never be like your sister. Never do anything dangerous.”
“Okay. Dad, Christy’s boyfriend, Peter, it’s his birthday. And he wanted me to be there today.”
“I understand.” He says, not letting go of me. “Will there be adults there?”
“Yeah.” If you can count Ricky as an adult. The thought almost makes me laugh. “Trina’s taking me. She’s downstairs. We’re kind of friends. She’s close with Peter.” I say.
“I’ll introduce myself while you go get dressed. Just let me dry my eyes.” He says, looking at me. In his eyes, I can see how torn up he is about this. His oldest daughter just died, and now I’m his oldest, and only, daughter. The thought chokes me up, and I force back tears as I go into my room to get ready.
I take only a couple minutes. I put on a white and blue striped shirt, Christy’s red jacket, jeans, and my Marauder’s Map shoes. My hair goes up in its customary bun, and I walk downstairs, eyes red, but I don’t think that that will change anytime in the next couple of days. Trina is talking animatedly to my father, who laughs at something, and then shoos her off when he sees me. I wave to him and grab my satchel, which is pretty much my purse, and follow Trina to her car outside.
Christy’s Jeep, last I heard, is in the shop, but the damage is not fixable. I have a license, and I know that my father will try to buy me a car before he leaves. But I don’t want a car. I just like walking and buses better. I’m going green. But really, I only took up the habit because Christy refused to drive me anywhere.
Her car is the silver Sedan that I saw the first time I was in the driveway of the warehouse. This strikes me as odd, because Jared is the silver wolf, and she’s the jet black one. “The mall?” She asks, pulling her bob into a short ponytail before pulling out of my drive.
“Yeah,” I start. “There’s a bakery near there. What kind of cake does Peter like the best?”
“Oh. I should ask him.” She’s silent for a moment. “He wants chocolate.”
“I take it he’s feeling better about the whole birthday thing?”
“Yeah. He just needed a solid night’s sleep and some decent food. He’s really excited, I swear. He made me make sure that I went to pick you up, even though I was already going to. He would have talked to you beforehand, but you know what happened to the connection…. That’s why Sabrina’s not coming to the party. She forced Peter to make the connection again, and she has a killer headache, she told me.”
“It’s extremely painful!” I say, sitting up in my seat.
“I’ve heard.” She chuckles. “So, you like Harry Potter?”
“Like? No, I don’t like it. I love it. If there was anything I wanted to do at my bachelorette party, it would be watch the entire series and then eat cake.”
“That would be cool. But it would be better if we dressed up like witches and went around cursing people.” My eyes go wide, and my knuckles turn white as I grip the armrest with all of my might.
“I love you.” I say, and Trina laughs. “No matter what happens, you have to plan my bachelorette party with me and you have to be there.” Trina nods, and I lean back in the seat, imagining all of the possibilities. I’ve never even had a boyfriend, and now I’m wishing that I was getting married tomorrow. That would be the best thing ever.
“Oh, I love this song!” Trina says, and turns the radio up. Despite her punk rock look, the song is one that I actually know from sitting in the car with Christy. I start singing along with her, and pretty soon we’re dancing along to the beat with the windows down until we reach the mall.
Trina leads me to a guy’s clothes store, where she goes straight to the jackets. “They took his favorite jacket when we were in jail, and they didn’t give it back when we left, which is stupid. Which one fits his personality the most?”
“I like the grey one.”
“Well, it’s for him. Not for you.”
“Peter would like the grey one.” I say matter-of-factly and hold it up for her to see. She looks at it for a second and finally nods. She takes it to the counter without batting an eye at the price. Trina pays with a credit-card and we go on our merry way through the mall, one bag in our possession.
“Now what should I get him? What does Peter like?”
“He doesn’t expect you to show up with a present.”
“Well, then he will be pleasantly surprised.” I say.
“I don’t know what he likes. He always asks me to buy him clothes for his birthday, but his closet is full of clothes. He doesn’t have favorites.”
“Maybe he does and you just don’t know.”
“I have known him for longer than you, missy! How dare you say I don’t know him!”
“I’m sorry. It just sounds like you don’t. “ She grumbles angrily.
“I’m going to go get a pretzel. I’ll meet you back here in a little while.” She storms off in the direction of the escalator.
“Trina!” I shout after her, but she’s already gone. I look at the ground and then I start to walk in the opposite direction. I start thinking about Peter, and all of the things I know about him. He’s a wolf, he was dating my sister, he lives with his mother, his father is dead, he has two best friends, and he likes chocolate cake, and he’s pumped for his birthday. He’s eighteen today. Ugh, I have no idea what to get him!
When I think of Christy in my head, I think of how much she loved Peter. And how much he seemed to love her back. If I show him the River Styx, it will make him feel closer to her. Maybe he’ll have some sort of closure than. I call the owner of the place, whom, since I’ve known for around seven to eight years – it’s hard to remember now, I am on a first name basis with. “Jacey!” I say happily when she answers the phone.
“Charlie! When are you coming back?” She asks, voice lighting up with a happy tone.
“I’m not sure. But, do you have gift cards for the Styx?”
“Yeah. Do you want one? How much money do you want me to put on one?”
“Thirty dollars. When can I get it. I need it pretty much right now.”
“You can come pick it up.”
“I don’t have a car. And I’m stuck at the mall.”
“If you buy me a corn dog, I will bring it to you.”
“Fine. There’s a nice juicy corn dog here with your name on it.”
“I will be there. Meet me in the food court with the dog.” Jacey hangs up then and I walk into the baseball cap store, remembering how he wore a baseball cap one time I saw him at school. I find one that has a bill that matches the color of his eyes, the rest of it is black, which somehow just seems fitting. I buy the hat and put it in a bag, also buying some licorice and chocolate from the candy shop across the way. When I’m done, I meet Trina back over by the escalator, where she’s skulking over a soda and a pretzel.
“Come on, I’m sorry, I swear.” I say, sitting next to her. She holds out her soda and I take a sip. “Come down to the food court with me. I have to buy a corn dog for someone.”
“Who?”
“That’s not important. But, you should go start looking at cakes at the shop just down there. It’s called Cupcake Paradise. I will buy this person a corn dog and I will meet you there.” Trina takes her soda and her pretzel and goes down the escalator. I follow her down there. She waves at me and walks towards the bakery.
“Charlie!” Jacey says, almost as soon as I have bought the corn dog. She takes it from my hands and starts scarfing it.
“Okay. Give me the gift card and you can leave. I’m short on time.” Jacey hands me the gift card and I slip it into my back pocket. She waves at me and I walk down to the bakery. Trina is looking at some cake designs as we walk in, but the second I see the chocolate one with the green frosting in the shape of a balloon on it, I’m sold.
We get an 18 put on it, and then we’re driving with our gifts and the cake over to Ricky’s house. Jared’s black jeep is in the driveway. I get to knock on the door while holding the cake. Peter opens the door and smiles wide enough that I can almost pretend that his black eyes aren’t also red. “Cake!”
He screeches and takes it from me, dashing into the kitchen. Trina sets his present down on the kitchen table - the one from her and the one from me.
“Once Jared gets out of the bathroom, we’ll have cake, okay?” Peter says, digging a lighter out of a drawer.
“Happy birthday.” I say, looking down, finally now feeling out of place. He hugs me, and I find myself unable to breathe.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk, I know that I shouldn’t blame myself, and I should stop being mean to you, and I’m sorry.” He says in one breath.
“Okay?” I say when he releases me. The bathroom door opens, and Peter goes outside to collect all of the smaller children. “Um, where’s Ricky?” I ask Jared.
“With Sabrina. They’re reminiscing.” I nod and Jared opens a box of pizza and grabs a slice. “Charlie?”
“No thanks. I had a doughnut.” He looks at Trina.
“Pretzel.” She says, eyeing the cake.
“What did you guys get the prince?”
“You’ll see when he opens his presents.” Trina says, standing on her tippy toes to go kiss him. I look away, laughing out loud.
“What?” Jared asks.
“It’s just funny.”
“That’s what Peter said, but I don’t understand.” He grumbles.
“I have decided I would like cake now.” Peter says, leading Jared’s siblings into the house. Sam sits next to me at the table and we all sing Happy Birthday to Peter. He looks happy while we sing, while the cake is cut, and while he eats his significant slice, but as we address the presents, his mood turns somber, almost dark. “Presents.”
“Open mine.” Jared says, and Peter does. It’s a watch, and all of the kids have made him cards.
“Charlie, you go now.” Trina says, pushing my bag forward.
“Okay.” I say, handing Peter the bag. He smiles and puts on the hat, and he eyes the candy with lust. He opens Trina’s jacket and they hug deeply. Then the kids go off playing and running in the house. “Peter? Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” He says. “Come on. Jared’s room will be quieter.” He leads me upstairs, and sits on Jared’s bed.
“Okay. Um, when I was 8 or 9, Christy just a year older, our dad took us to this broken down movie theater downtown. It was special for just the three of us, and when our parents divorced around a year later, Christy and me still went, and the last time we went was a couple weeks ago. I just thought that, since she really liked you, you might like to have this.” I hand him the gift card, which has a sticky note with the address on it. Once I hand it to him, I dash out of the room and go downstairs, where Trina and Jared are sitting on the couch, debating over a movie.
“Charlie, you’re crying. Did Peter say something?” Trina says, hopping up.
“Oh. I didn’t realize I was…” I reach up and wipe my eyes. “Just a little dusty, I swear.” Trina looks at me like I’m might break down.
“I’ll take you home if you want.”
“Oh, crying was all it took? If I cried you would have not let me come?” I say angrily. “Just pick a movie. I’m here, and I’m not leaving until we have celebrated.”
Jared puts on a movie and I sit down next to Trina, who keeps looking at me nervously. Peter comes down a little while later, and sits in a chair, facing the screen. “Dare.” Trina says, during the movie.
“Kiss Charlie.” Peter says automatically, and Trina kisses me on the mouth before I can even register what’s going on.
“Hey! What’s going on?” I scream, standing.
“You have some lipstick.” Jared says, and wipes something off of my upper lip.
“You people stop touching my lips!” I say, scrambling backwards. I trip over some toys and hit my head on the ground.
“Dare.” Jared says. Peter looks at his watch.
“Go bite the mailman.” Jared races outside, and Trina follows him to the window. I follow to. Jared walks across the lawn to the neighbor’s house, where the mailman is walking to the door. Jared walks right up to the man and extends his hand. They shake, and just when they should release hands, Jared reaches down and bites the mailman on the arm.
“He did it.” Trina says, returning to Peter. He’s sitting up in the chair, pointer fingers holding his chin up.
“Truth or dare, Charlie?”
“I want to go home.” I say, eyes narrowing as Jared comes back inside, screaming and crying.
“He had mace! He was prepared! He remembered the last time it happened!” He says.
“I’ll help him wash out his eyes.” She says, and walks into the kitchen.
“Truth.” I reply once she’s gone.
“Pick a dare. I don’t have any truths.” He says.
“I pick truth. I don’t want a dare.”
“Fine. Okay, who was your first kiss?”
“Trina.” That stops Peter right in his tracks and he glares at me.
“What?”
“I’ve never had a first kiss, okay? I’m not Christy.” His eyebrows are rising extremely high. “I’m serious.” My phone goes off, and I see that it’s my father.
He’s texted, “You need to come home right now.”
“I have to go. My dad needs me back.”
“I’ll drive you!” Peter says.
“No. I will.” Trina says. “Take care of Jared. I drove Charlie here, I’ll take her back.” I run across the yard and get in the car. Trina floors it back to my house.
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow!” Trina says as I run out of the car. I run inside the house, where I immediately see why my father has made me rush home.
My mother’s back.