After being dropped off at some high rise complex, it registered in my head that I shouldn't of agreed to come to her place, but I'd put her in a frightening situation so the least I could do was offer the lass some of my company to put the nightmares at ease. Had it been a bloke I'd of done the same. Even though scenes like that were as normal to me as buying a pint of milk, I knew that to the normal everyday person it was quite the fackin' opposite.
We didn't speak all that much as we walked the flights of steps. How anyone could be arsed climbing up and down these on a daily was beyond me, but I'll bet it did wonders for the leg muscles.
"This is my floor"
"Well now there's a relief ain't it"
"Give over, you're far too in shape to be complaining about a few steps" The grin she flashed from over her shoulder as she unlocked the door almost had me for a second. Jada... call Jada and give yourself a minute you fackin' idiot,
"I need to just make a call, you don't mind do ya?"
"Oh..." That smile of hers faded,
"No not at all. I'll stick the kettle on. Tea two still?"
"I cut the sugar out long ago" I patted my stomach,
"Course you did. Don't be too long though yeah?"
"Course not" I waited until the door closed behind her before I held me phone to me ear. Cmon Jadey, answer the phone darlin'... let me hear that beautiful voice...
"Hi..." My shoulders instantly dropped with ease,
"Just... carry on talkin' to me will ya babe"
"Richie?" The little chuckle she did made me blood rush,
"Is everything okay? When are you home? I miss you" I closed my eyes, softly grinning at the smile in her voice,
"I'll be on me way very soon. And I can't wait to squeeze the life out a ya"
"It's been a long day, just come home to me"
"There's nothing more in the world I want more right now Jada, but I can't, I've... I got some last minute business that can't be ignored. But I promise I'll be home as soon as I can. Alright babe?"
"Ok..." I hated the sound of disappointed in her voice, hated it with a passion,
"I can't stop thinking about Tyson, Richie"
"I know... I do. Actually... I found out who did it, and if it makes you feel a little better just know that the bastards ain't breathing. Actually it's what I'm cleaning up right now, so"
"What? Really?"
"Yeah babe. Anyway, Jada, the quicker I end this situation the quicker I'll be home. I'm gonna let ya go, alright? I love you, more than you'll ever know"
"It's fine don't worry. Just get home safely, and I love you more"
"Impossible that Jada"
"Is it?" Her soft giggle really was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard,
"It is. Night babe. See you very soon"
"I'll be waiting up. Night handsome" And at that, she was gone.
I knew that just hearing her voice would set the world right again. I was half tempted to just leg it from 'ere, but the gentleman within me told me to go 'ave a word with the traumatized lass, put her at ease and then fack off home to the missus.
I inhaled and exhaled deeply, before opening the door.
Inside was very classy, I wasn't expecting such a nice gaff given it being on a complex, but Sarah always had a bit of style to her, it actually surprised me seeing her work in a dump and live in an area rougher than most round these ends. She was sat on an L-shaped leather sofa, my brew resting next to hers on the coffee table, she was waiting for me before she could sip her cup of rosie lee,
"How you feelin'?" Was the obvious question to ask as I sat adjacent to her,
"Better now you're here" she went for her cuppa,
"That's good then ain't it. Look I'm... sorry. And, I'd like to make amends for the distress I've caused you. I want to offer you a free night at my club, The Get A Way, it's up in the west end, on a night of your choosing. You could even bring a friend or partner along, I'll arrange travel for you, even put you up in a hotel for the night, how's that?"
"I... look I appreciate the offer, I do but..."
"Yeah? But what?"
"Could we not just arrange dinner? I... there's something's that I'd really like to tell you, about... the past"
"Sarah..." Was she fackin' serious?
"Richie, everything we had... it wasn't my fault, something happened that you need to know..." She fackin' was serious an all. I felt anger burning through me like I wanted to crush her skull for the pure fackin' cheek of her,
"This.. this was a bad idea" Leave mate, leave before you lose your head,
"Richie please don't leave, please! You can't hate me. It wasn't my fault I swear to you! But I had to keep quiet!" She jumped to me as I got up. Instantly the rage within rifled through me, without thinking I gripped her face, shoved her down onto the couch and got on top of her,
"YOU FACKED MY BROTHER YOU FACKIN' SLAG!!! FACKED HIM WHILST YOU WORE MY GRANDMOTHERS RING ON YA FACKIN' FINGER!!!"
I screamed right up in her face, nose to nose as my hand remained clamped on her jaw,
"Richie please don't hurt me"
"Richie... please... please Richie..." I mocked her,
"You sound fackin' pathetic mate, do ya know that? Nothing but a filthy little slag" I hissed down her ear before shoving her head to the side as I got up off her. She just laid there, like the pathetic bitch that she was,
"Tell me one thing Sarah... cause I'm curios..." I lit a cig up as I paced about,
"Once... after we split, a little dickie bird came to me... and do you know what he told me?" I watched her slowly sit up, she didn't turn on the water works because she knew that wouldn't wash,
"What Mitchell?"
"The little dickie bird, he goes to me, 'Here Rich, your ex is my missus best mate, she told me she took your other half down to the abortion clinic, says she didn't know if she was pregnant to you, or your brother. I'm sorry mate' Sorry... he said he was sorry to have had to tell me such FACKED UP FACKIN' NEWS! NOW! My question to you, Sarah, is... and you be very careful not to tell me any more of them porkies... my question is, did you do that Sarah? Hm? Did ya? Did you abort a baby, because you didn't know whether it was mine, or Rayson's?" As she thought on her answer I slowly approached her, I bent down to her face, and stared deep, deep down into her eyes, whilst doing so I put either hand on the backrest of the sofa, the close proximity of my face forcing her to sit back,
"Sarahhh..." with impatience of her silence I dragged her name out. Instantly tears flooded from her eyes, yet no sounds came from her, the sheer look of hurt and guilt turned my stomach,
"Oh Sarah... Ohhh you fucking bitch..." I tucked my bottom lip with my teeth as I sneered in disbelief,
"Don't you dare tell me that this is true..." she tried to look away but I wouldn't let her, I stalked her with my stare, chasing her eyes with mine, she wouldn't look into my narrowed, rigid, cold, hard eyes, in this moment she knew I was already far away from rationality. Furthermore that she was in the worst position to be in, she was the enemy to me,
"RICHIE NO!!!!" She shrieked as I gripped her hair and dragged her off the sofa, the wanker of a coffee table hit the back of my legs as I pulled her about so I threw her to the ground, turned and flipped the piece of shit, sending it into the tv and smashing all over the place,
"IM SO SORRY! I AM! IM SORRY!"
"SORRY?! YOU'RE FACKIN' SORRY ARE YA?!? I LOVED YA WITH EVERY PART OF ME SARAH YOU CUNT!! YOU DID THAT TO US! TO ME!!! GET UP!"
"NO! PLEASE!" She tried to fight me off as I pulled her up to my face using the lapels of her shirt,
"I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! A HOUSE! A CAR! MONEY! WHY HIM?! WHY MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?! DO YOU KNOW HOW OUTTA MY NUT I WENT! YOU KILLED ANY DECENCY I HAD IN ME! YOU KNEW THE BOND I HAD WITH RAY! YOU KNEW IT WOULD DESTROY ME!!" I violently shook her before running her up the wall,
"I never... never forgave myself for not saying this but it was my decision Mitchell!" She winced like she was hard of breathing,
"Shut your faaacking mouth" I pushed my forehead to hers,
"You turned me against women you did. Ever since us, I've wanted to kill every little slag that's ever been between my thighs. You all think you can use sex to get what you want... you think you can bat those thick little lashes and suddenly you can do what you want to us and because you're a women you can't be punished for it... don't ya? Hm?" I rammed her up the wall again, the sound of her head bouncing off the wall wasn't satisfying enough,
"I never... never had it planned Richie I swear to you! Ray forced me to sleep with him! That's... that's why I couldn't keep the baby... HE'S A FUCKING MONSTER! Your brother is a monster Mitchell, he threatened to kill me if I'd of run to you!"
"THATS BOLLOCKS IS THAT!!!! And oh I am a monster. AND WHO MADE ME THAT AY?!"
"I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU SO SO MUCH WHY WOULD I OF CHEATED ON YOU?! AND WITH YOUR OWN BROTHER?! IT DOESN'T MAKE FUCKING SENSE AND NEVER HAS TO ANYBODY!!"
"DONT YOU FACKIN' YELL AT ME YOU TROUT DONT YOU FACKIN' DARE!" My hand went for her throat, I squeezed hard and the fright and struggle in her strained yells for help satisfied the kid or nephew of mine that she had killed,
"AN INNOCENT LIFE THAT BELONGED TO ME IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP THOSE LEGS FACKIN' SHUT!" I squeezed harder as her nails clawed at my hands,
"WHO'S THE REEEAL MONSTER SARAH! EH? CMON! WHO!" Suddenly a vision of Jada playing with Tyson on my kitchen floor flashed before me.
Taken back I released Sarah, she instantly dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. I could hear her choking for air as I quickly got myself together. Why was Jada back with Tyson in my subconscious? Had something happened to her?
I flew through my gaff, panicked as I shouted out her name, to my instant relief she appeared at the top of my staircase,
"You look like you've seen a ghost?" She laughed as I ran up to her. I wrapped her tiny self up in me arms, inhaling the scent of her hair for as long as possible, till my lungs couldn't fill anymore,
"What's happened?" Her hands stroked up and down my back as I held her, she was my source of comfort,
"You. You happened" I cupped my lips around hers, opening her mouth with my tongue. I indulged her with the most passionate kiss I'd ever gave to anyone let alone her. As she pulled back my eyes remained on her beautiful face, lovingly I pushed her hair soft blonde hair back to get a better look at every inch, every millimetre of her,
"You look tired" her hand felt like silk upon my face,
"Mm" I nodded, she used her thumb to free my lip from my teeth,
"Let's go to bed.... hmm?" Her eyes dropped to my mouth as she bit in her lip, lustfully her gorgeous grey eyes came back to my own,
"Yeah let's." She let out a sweet little laugh as I picked her up by her peachy arse, and when her legs clasped around me the feeling instantly resonated with my cock, oh sweet beautiful Jada, she was like my own personal high. A hit would take away the stress, the anguish, or any unnecessary guilt I'd happen to feel.
As we got to the bedroom a flash of that deceitful slag had me stop in my tracks for a moment, but Jada soon quickly pulled my focus back to her... Sarah fucked Ray... Remember Jada wanted him at one point... he'd fuck her if given the chance! I felt the passion and love that I had greeted Jada with suddenly taking a turn into something dark, something was angering me, and the frustration mixed with this intense arousal was worrying me in the back of my mind, but Jada's want and need for me was something I needed to give her.
My hands let go of her shoulders, then went down to her tight ripped jeans. I dug them into the waistband, but instead of popping the button and sliding down the zipper, I tore at the fabric and shredded it like it was paper, making her aware that I could tear her body just as easily if I wished. She stopped kissing me and I could tell be the way that she looked at me that she could feel my anger in the way that I'd been kissing her, rough, hard. I wanted to punish her for her past actions, so that she could never hurt me the way Sarah did. I wanted to scare her so badly that she would never so much as look at my fackin' brother.
I ripped off her jeans and underwear then went to kiss her again, but she halted me by placing her fingertips abruptly on my lips, her face was plagued with worry and concern,
"Something's bothering you..." The way she looked at me was as if she was fearing something within my eyes,
"Not now Jada..." again I went to kiss her but she wouldn't allow it,
"Richie I don't feel comfortable with you like this" My brows furrowed as I looked at her with incredulity,
"You what?"
"That look in your eyes.."
"Then help take it all away"
"Take what away?"
"Jada!" I bit back,
"I want to help... but,"
"Then help by spreading your legs for me" I couldn't shield my eyes from the darkness that was working through me, but I watched her closely as her brain made a decision. Every little muscle on her face showed that the fright and apprehension was beginning to disperse, like she was leaving her mind and following her instincts, her instincts probably telling her that she knew I wanted to fuck the anger out on her, but also that I would never hurt her again.
I picked up where I left off, she gasped into my mouth as my hand went between her legs, sliding over her sex. She was still very tense and not as wet as I needed her to be, she needed loosening up with trust and affection as well as my skilled fingertips. Relief flooded through me as she began unbuckling my belt, she then undid my pants and pushed them down my thighs but before she could do anymore I lifted her, spreading her legs wide and carrying her over to the window as I kissed and sucked under her jaw. As I perched her arse on the windowsill I began to work on her with only my fingers, I watched myself play with her, my cock was at its peak, full and ready for her sweet pleasure. As her legs quivered her hands dropped from my shoulders so that she could lean back and support herself. Her face told me she was readying for an orgasm already, and fuck did I grin at my masterful work, self satisfaction at its best seeing the control I had over her body. Her head went back as she moaned my name, begging me to stop, she was now anything but wet, she was dripping for me, so, without her attention, I squeezed my chap right up in her. She gasped aloud with shock and then her head rolled once more as I pulled out to rub my cock on her clit and then again I penetrated deeply, slow and forceful, she fackin' loved it. Begging me to fack her.
I watched how she'd leaned her head far back again, her lips parted, her eyes closed, noises coming from both sets of lips. I couldn't keep my focus as I now started to loose myself in her. Her hot, moist, tight heaven sucking me in but also fighting to push me out, it was like a fucking chamber of ecstasy and she would clench herself around my dick when meeting each thrust, it drove me fackin' wild!
Another flash! I shook my head from the image of me strangling Sarah... I opened my eyes to focus on Jada's face, focus mate, focus. I heavily panted as I started to slam her, she had to adjust and wrap her arms around me to support herself now. I needed to show her that I couldn't be played with. I had to make it clear to her that she would be punished if she ever hurt me again,
"More" Jada panted. I heard pain and tension in her as she took my anger, the anger she wanted to help expel from me. She agreed to this and showed no sign of distress despite my rough handling of her. Her legs wrapped around my waist again, urging me on to fuck her harder, to go deeper, to take more of her, but I knew she was in pain, she was putting on a front, this was hurting her, however I was
unable to resist, I took her lips again, this time with more passion and less anger. Fuck, she tasted good, so good. I couldn't imagine ever giving this up, ever giving her up. Despite everything, despite the fact that she was mentally not strong enough for me, but she'd held her own when confronted with my fury. She hadn't backed down, just as she didn't give up as I drove even harder into her.
"Jada, I need you" I mumbled against her lips before I delved my tongue back into her, thrusting it in the same rhythm as my cock.
I wasn't lying. I dod need her. She gave me the strength not only to face the demons that were after her, but my own personal demons, the ones that had been haunting me since I could remember. Breathing hard, I released her lips and trailed hot kisses along her neck.
"I want you too Richie, I want you so much" She let out, but it sounded like a sob. I looked back at her eyes and saw a multitude of emotions brimming there,
"You got me, babe. You do" I whispered back and gently captured her lips, stroking my tongue over them.
When she sighed contently, my entire body filled with a newfound sense of strength. My balls tightened at the same moment, and I felt my orgasm overwhelm me. Unable to hold it back, I brought my hand between us and rubbed against her clit as I piled into her one last time. As she clasped her arms around my neck again another flash. I was still fucking Jada but the window was now a mirror, in the reflection I was Ray, fucking Jada. As Jada moaned into my ear with extreme pleasure I seen and felt myself in my brother's body! She's fuckin' him! See! The filthy dirty slag! I tried to pull out but her legs and arms tightened around me as she was achieving orgasm but I wanted her off me! I pulled my head back as I battled with my visions that were tormenting me! I felt her hands clasp my face, she was now Sarah, I wrapped my hands around her throat again, she started to choke like she did at her place, but then quickly the visions came to an abrupt stop and I was on the floor, Jada was too, sat on her knees. holding her throat, pulling at the bed sheet to wrap around her, she was clearly upset and very distressed,
"Jada... Jada baby. Come here" I knelt up and crawled over to her, thank fuck she accepted me as I sat behind her, I pulled her into me, her back against my chest as wrapped my arms and legs around her,
"What was that? What happened? I...I.." Her sobbing tore me apart,
"Tell me what I did" I didn't want to hear it. But I held her tighter in anticipation. Kicking myself hard as I tried to sooth her,
"You... I don't know... we was about to finish and you just... started to push me away. I.. I was trying to bring you back to me and your eyes looked so distant, glazed over, like you was fighting something in your head... and then you... you just started to strangle me. You was so...strong"
"We should of never... I shouldn't of forced you to..."
"No, no Richie you didn't force anything. I pushed you, I wanted to help you. I should of just told you no, instead of taking whatever that was on"
"I know you wanna help Jada but..." A crushing realization hit me,
"Fuck..." My world came crashing down as I let go of her to hold my head,
"Richie?" She now tried to comfort me,
"Jada... you ain't safe around me... with me"
"No..." she clasped at me, trying to lift my face,
"Don't you dare say this! What's happening to you? Richie let me help... talk to me, please" I lifted my head when I heard the tears and worry in her voice,
"Look at ya. Look at what I'm doin' to ya. I can't let you go, I'm obsessed with you Jada, but I'm fighting with myself, every day, I'm not in control, what happens if I do this again and I don't let go.. I mean.."
"Stop! Stop. You won't kill me. Something in you protected me, it stopped you. It's in your soul to protect me, you won't ever kill me. I know you won't. You only ever make me stronger. We can fight this, hm? Can't we? Look at me, I'm fine now. I just need you to talk to me..."
"I... I can't risk loosing you. If your blood was on my hands I wouldn't be able to live with meself..." The thought was unbearable, I couldn't stop the tears from surfacing,
"I'm loosing my mind Jada" she took me in her arms, it brought more comfort than I could handle,
"It won't happen. I know it won't. But you have to talk to me. Help me recognize the signs, or, or to know your triggers. If you love me like you say you do then why are you giving up?"
"I'm not giving up, Jada, I'm protecting ya. All I wanna do, right, is protect ya!" I wiped my eyes and sighed, she was my little fighter, wasn't she,
"If you leave me, that's what will kill me! When I was apart from you look what happened to me. I want to be with you all the way. But we need to talk. I'm your wife to be, you need to trust me with absolutely everything... even... your demons"
"They're too much for me to handle Jada, how could you cope with them? Eh? How? No, you're delicate mind can't handle this, it's too much for ya. You need someone normal, someone who will give you a straight life, kids, holidays, I'll end up either in prison or dead, let's not beat around the fackin' bush... I know I promised you that I'd go straight for ya but... but I ain't leaving this life, I can't, and I won't, I live for the adrenaline and the danger that gangland, that the underworld can only give me, and you, you ain't cut out for it..."
"Please stop saying all of this! I know you won't go straight but I've had time to reflect on it. We've already been through some fucked up situations, and haven't I handled them all well? Haven't I met your expectations? Exceeded them even! I am stronger than what you think! You know I am Richie! I don't care what life we walk, just as long as I'm walking it with you, beside you. I don't want anybody else, I don't want anything else. I just want you."
"You.." Literally the girl had left me speechless. I pulled her into my arms and held on like she was about to be ripped from me,
"Then it's done ain't it..."
"What?" She quickly lifted her head, eyes full of panic,
"It's done as in it's settled, you're givin' yourself to me. Knowing I can't give you a life with a happy ending. You know that?"
"If I have to watch you get sent down, or buried as long as your mine, and mine alone, and as long as I know that I am the only one in your heart when a tragedy happens, then I will accept any life as long as you never ever leave me, and only love me. I am so obsessed with you, so in love with you... I will love you no matter what, Mitchell" She stroked her hand through my hair,
"You know... I used to call you Richie Kray... My Richie Kray... I was in love with you because of the hype, because of The Krays, you was someone else, but now... now I'm completely in love with you, just as Mitchell Richardson"
"Your Richie Kray ay..." I softly smiled at her as she wiped my damp cheeks and as I stroked back her hair, it was the purest moment I'd ever had with anyone,
"You know, Jada, I've never felt so open and exposed to anyone before in my life, but I've also never felt so... content. I'm in love with you." I slid my hand down to the back of her head and pulled her sweet mouth to mine, and lost myself within our kiss. This was is it for me. She was all I needed to exist. And I wasn't afraid to admit it to myself anymore.
However what I was afraid of was the obsession with her that was growing. The obsession that was slowly and unhealthily consuming the both of us.