•••
"Are you always like this?"
Eunseo turned to look at her boyfriend who suddenly blurted out that question once he saw her.
"What do you mean?" Her eyebrows narrowed.
"Do you not like me anymore?" he looked at her with an unreadable expression.
"What the hell are you talking about, Jae?" She felt agitated with his sudden question.
"Eunwoo said you came by the council room?" He looked away from her.
"What's wrong with that?"
"So, you saw?" Now he had his back to her. Somehow, she could see the Jaehyun she knew became distant and the Jaehyun in front of her didn't seem like her Jaehyun.
Her lips parted to answer but instead, she hesitantly nodded. He didn't see her response but he knew she saw what happened.
"Are you not mad?"
"Why should I?"
"Eunseo,"
"I mean, it's a part of the work. Nothing's wrong,"
"Seo," he turned back to her.
"Don't worry, Jae. I'm totally fine."
"That's not the problem here,"
"Then, what is?" She looked at him intently.
"Why are you never honest?" He had his hands on her shoulders.
"What?"
"You always bottle up your feelings and you don't even rant it out. Why can't you just get mad at me? Hit me, curse at me or anything. Are you not frustrated?"
"I-I...can't,"
"You never tell me anything, that's why I know nothing about you,"
"It's not like that, Jae."
"I really want to hear your side of the story but you probably won't tell me. I want to apologize for what happened. I'm not trying to make excuses. It wasn't exactly what you might think it is, but we did nothing. It was an accident, it's up to you to believe. Though, I know you'll just shrug it off and act like everything's fine or something,"
She didn't know what to say, so she just stayed quiet. She knew he had more to say.
"I'm going to stop here. Who knows what I'll say right now? I don't wanna regret saying things I don't mean. For now, I won't bother you," he sighed then turned away from her. She doesn't even know what to do.
Should she stop him?
Should she tell him?
Should she talk to him?
Should she just keep quiet?
While she was contemplating on what to do, Jaehyun took a glance at her for one last time before leaving.
•••
Doyoung sighed for the nth time that day. He was watching Eunseo walk down the stairs, stumbled on the last one, almost hit the shelf, bumped into the wall, stubbed her toe on the sofa, hit her hip on the table and bumped into him.
He moved aside to give way to her and she did the exact same thing all over again. It's like she had no soul. She's been acting that way for two days already.
Even though she annoyed him most of the time, seeing her in this condition made him more worried.
"Eunseo,"
She didn't even reply.
"Eunseo-ya,"
She didn't even flinch.
"Song Eunseo!"
She was a bit startled but went back to her poker face in a second.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded lifelessly, looking like a dead zombie.
"Did something happen?"
"No," she replied quietly, taking small steps to the stairs.
"I'm always here," he managed to say before she disappeared upstairs.
Another sigh left his lips as he thought of any way to cheer up his cousin. She was a special case, where nothing could make her mood lighten up until she cheers herself up.
What could've happened?
•••
Do_Young : did something happen
Do_Young : ?
Woojae : what
Do_Young : like problem?
Woojae : whose problem?
Do_Young : your girlfriend
Do_Young : you know what happened to her?
Seen 17:11
Do_Young : Jaehyun
Do_Young : youre not supposed to ignore me
Do_Young : we're talking about eunseo right now
Do_Young : did something actually happen?
Do_Young : does it have to do with you?
Seen 17.27
Do_Young : fine
Do_Young : i guess it does
Do_Young : talk to me
Do_Young : you coward ass jerk cornbud
Do_Young : wait that wasn't supposed to be an insult
Do_Young : sorry cornbud
Seen 17.59
•••
A week passed, neither Eunseo and Jaehyun have talked to each other nor text anything. He was waiting for her to open up to him. She was waiting for nothing to be exact. She was thinking about his words for the past week.
She doesn't completely understand what he wanted her to do.
Yet, she absolutely knows what she has to do.
Unfortunately, she was a shy shell, she can't really get out of her comfort zone that easy. She never bothered telling anyone her feelings since they never cared.
With Jaehyun, she thought he would accept her the way she already is. She knew he wasn't wrong but he isn't right either. She wasn't ready, and if she was, she doesn't want to burden others.
Especially Jaehyun.
She just couldn't bother to burden hum with her problems when he already has so much to think about.
During Chemistry class, her head was literally in the clouds. She was trying to focus on her experiment. Her group mate was asking her to turn on the Bunsen burner. She wasn't paying attention much, not until she felt the burning feeling on her finger.
"Eunseo!" She heard one of the girls scream her name as she let go of the apparatus and screech in pain over her hand. Someone had pulled her hand to the sink and run cold water over her hand.
•••
"I'm really sorry, Seo. I can't walk you home,"
"No, it's fine, Doyoung. I'll manage. It's not that far," she smiled slightly at him.
"I guess you're feeling better," he said, ruffling her hair.
"Ay, don't do that. And yes, I do feel better now."
"I'm really sorry,"
"I know,"
"Are you sure? I can—"
"I said I'll be fine, Doyoung-ah. Just go, you're busy." She pushed him lightly.
"Alright, I'll go but you have to leave first. I need to see you go," he said while folding his arms across his chest.
"Protective much," she mumbled. "I'm leaving, aright?" She waved him off while walking away from school.
"I need you to walk home straight and be there until I come back,"
"I get it!"
•••
As soon as she was nearing the corner to her home, she spotted a playground. Usually, she won't visit there, but this time, since Doyoung the Overprotective wasn't here, she ought to have the time by herself.
When she reached the playground, a bitter smile played on her face. The playground reminded her of the same park at her home. It reminded her of memories. One that contains the time when she was with Jaehyun.
She sat on the swings and looked around the playground. It was almost empty. Only a father and a boy was there. She took a deep breath as she looked down on the ground.
Her feet kicking the dust she can't see.
She was bored.
She was lonely.
She was depressed.
All over again.
As she was looking at her feet, a silhouette appeared right in front of her. She lifted her head and the sight of a canned coffee met her eyes. She was shocked seeing him in front of her considering their last conversation over a week ago.
He handed her the coffee and she was about to take it with her injured hand. Instead, she retreated with a wince of pain and took the can with her other hand.
Suddenly, he crouched down and grabbed the can from her then put it beside him. He gently pulled her injured hand and softly traced his finger on the bandage. She couldn't see his face but she could feel his sincerity when he touched her.
"I'm sorry," he voiced out, not looking at her.
"Jaehyun," she called out with her trembling voice. She didn't even know why she was getting emotional all of a sudden.
He instantly looked at her face and let out a relieved sigh. "I was searching for you, I thought you left already. Do you know how worried I was when they told me you got injured?" He was still holding onto her hand. "Again,"
"I'm sorry,"
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know, I'm sorry,"
"Eunseo,"
"I'm just sorry,"
"Hey," he pulled her to lean onto him. "I'm the one who's supposed to be sorry," he put a hand on her head while her arms clung onto him.
"No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I was such a bad person. I am a bad girlfriend. I didn't bother to tell you anything about me. I was so selfish and only cared about my feelings. I thought I didn't have to tend to others' feelings and I made other people suffer. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have lied to you, or covered up anything. I didn't want you to hate me. Now that, it's like this. There's nothing else you can do except to hate me, isn't it?" She said, her tears rolling down her face.
He let go of her and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "You can tell me everything," he said while sitting down on the ground before her, still holding onto her hand.
"Firstly, I'm sorry. I know how much secrets I keep. I'm not really the type to talk about these things 'cause it's so awkward and I tend to keep these by myself. It's hard to tell others what I feel since I've been used to do this. When I made friends, I feel the distance closing up but it can never be gone, so I always had this gap in everything, including my own family. I don't tell them everything and leave a few details out. It doesn't seem that much to me but I might have hurt others while acting like this,"
"You told me back then, what were you to me? Were you a friend of mine? I didn't show it 'cause I didn't want you to misunderstand or something. I really wanted to cry back then. It's like a first when anyone asks if we're friends or not. I appreciated it so much I just felt like crying a river and hug you to death. It means a lot to me. Especially after moving here. You mean a lot to me. You helped me in so many ways and I just felt too useless to be with you,"
"You never are," he squeezed her fingers since they were the only thing not bandaged.
"I don't know that, Jaehyun. I will never know. People are like puzzles. Walls. Onions, you know. Like, you peel an onion and you can see another view, it's never the same. I feel that way all the time and I'm scared. Actually, I'm afraid of it. I fear of having no one by my side and I'll be left alone, like always. It hurts,"
"So, I don't want to ruin any further relationships just because of my incompetence of handling my own feelings,"
"Eunseo," he wiped the end of her eyes and made her face him. "I'm glad I made you tell me,"
"Huh?"
"I'm very happy," he smiled brightly. "You finally tell me something and I appreciate that side of you. You've always act strong and I know why. You don't want others to feel the burden you have. But it doesn't matter. Not to me, especially. I want to share my problems with you and I want you to do the same thing,"
"But—"
"You're scared? Then, talk to me again. Make me listen. You know I always will." He caressed her cheek affectionately.
"Jaehyun?"
"Hm?"
"I love you,"
He stared at her for a few seconds because the sincerity was crystal clear. He heard it and he saw it.
She panicked for a second and wondered if he hated her already but it all vanished when he leaned close and pressed their lips together. This kiss was by far the most genuine and gentle they ever shared.
"I love you too,"
"My parents aren't home,"
•••
Bonus #8
[A/N: This will be the second last bonus. The chap after this will be the last bonus for the year]
P/S: I heard Chaeyeon is going to NCT Night Night and FINALLY FINALLLY!!!!! She'll meet Jaehyun! These two classmates will meet. I hope they acknowledge each other and don't act as if they don't know each other.