"How did you sleep last night?" Healer Phillips was already in my room when I woke up. Draco was still there, sitting on a cot that must have been brought in after I had fallen asleep. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"I don't know." I yawned. "I don't remember waking up or any nightmares of anything. Why?"
"Are you sure?"
"Um..." I looked at Draco in half ocnfusion, half concern. It was odd for Healer Phillips to ask me questions like that. I hated questions; they gave me terrible anxiety, and he knew that. So this had to be important for him to be asking them first thing in the morning.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Malfoy." Healer Phillips must have realised he was making me upset. "IT was just something I need ot check up on."
"But why?" It was so strange for him to be doing this.
"Mrs. Malfoy, I will tell you, but you have to keep yourself calm, or atlraest try to. But I'm going to give you your new Comvination first." He picked up the vial off of the bedside table and pulled out the cork before handing it to me. I looked down at it for a moment, then drank it. I would have to wait and see waht new side effects it will would have on me. Again, my Healer seemedot know what I was thinking, because he took the empty vial and said,
"I can adjust your new Comvination as needed, just tell me what is wrong if you began to show side effets."
"Will you tell me why you're here now?"
"Okay, but remmeber; don't freak out. Draco said that you had a night terror last night."
"I already told you, I don't remember having any nightmares."
"No, not a nightmare. A night terror." He corrected.
"What do you mean?" I asked him, then turned to Draco. "What is he talking about?"
"Would you like to tell her, Mr. Malfoy?"
"I don't understand..." The confusion was making me start to cry. Draco got up from the cot and sat beside me on the bed, taking my hand. I stiffened, but didn't pull away. He was makeing an obvious attempt to try and make me feel better,s oI wasn't going to make him seel bad about it.
"Last night, you woke me up because you were screaming. You were sitting up in the bed, and your eyes were open, but when I tried to talk to you, you ignored me. So, I shook you, and you punched me. I got Healer Fuchs, and she said you were having a night terror and got Healer Phillips."
"I don't remember that... I-I punched you?" I covered my face, upset. I couldn't even remember hurting him, but I did. He said I did, and he wouldn't lie about it.
"It's okay, Elle. It didn't really hurt..." Draco akwardly put his arms around me. I pressed my face into his shoulder, sniffing and coughing.
"No, it's not okay! It's not! I hurt you and I don't remember any of this! Why don't I remember! Why can't I-"
"Mrs. Malfoy!" Healer Phillips got my attention. I moved my head just far enough to peek and him and stopped yelling. "It's okay. You weren't awake, and you didn't do it conciously. You were dreaming, was all."
"But my eyes were open! I just don't remember..."
"No, when you have a night terror, you're having a nightmare, and you're reacting, but you aren't aware of it. You are basically still asleep. It's kind of like sleep walking."
"But what did I do when I stopped? What happened?"
"Well, I got there, and you screamed for a few more minutes, then you just laid down and went back to sleep. That's all. It's nothing to be too upset about."
"That's all..." I mumbled. That was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Screaming and punching my husband in the middle of the night and then not remembering it was definally something to worry about.
"Considering what you've been through the last few days, it isn't that uncommon. You have a new Combination, so lets see what happens with it. If you have another one tonight, I will try to reajust it so you won't have anymore. Now, I have eto ask you another question: Are you wet?"
"...No..." I lied. I was, and I was very uncomfortable, but I wasn't going to tell him that. That problem was suppose to be over.
"Okay. Do you have any questions for me?" He asked. I thought for a moment.
"Do I get to go back to my room?" I quietly asked, leaning against Draco. He reached behind him and grabbed Melvin, then handed him to me. I greatfullly took him, and hugged him to my chest.
"I think you will be okay to go back, as long as things go well the next couple of hours.Now, if you excuse me, I have some other things I have to check up on. I will send some breakfast for the two of you, and I'll come to check on you in an hour or so.
"Okay, thank you." Draco nodded. The Healer nodded back, then left the room. I bit my lip, trying to slow my tears, then forced myself to get up. I really had to change.
"Are you okay?" Draco asked as I made my way to the bathroom.
"Not really... but I'll live..." I sniffed. And it was true: I was going to live. I wasn't going to try to kill myself again, and I was going to try and get better. I was actually going to make an effort to tell Healer Phillips when I felt anxious or depressed. I was going to take my Combinations the way I was suppose to, and do what ever he advised me to do. Although the current anxiety I was feeling now was pulling against it.
I went the rest of the way into the bathroom, and cleaned myself up. About ten minutes later, I came back out, probably looking just as terrible as I had entered.
"It really wasn't a big deal, Elle." Draco said to me as I reapproached the bed. I laid down and grabbed Melvin.
"Yes, it was." I wispered.
"I'm okay, and you couldn't help it. It's totally fine."
"Yeah, that time. But what if it happens again?" I never raised my voice. I just laid there, with tears rolling down my cheeks again.
"So what? That's not going to change that I love you."
"But it also won't change that I hurt you, and I probably will again."
"But it hurts much less knowing that you didn't do it on purpose."
"I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just don't want to talk about it!" I snapped. He looked over at me, unsure of what to do.
"Okay, then. Is there anything you want to do? I brought some things for home. I have your manuscript if you want to work on is. I brought some quills and ink, too. And that paper with the blank music staffs." He picked up my black bag that Lucius use to put Melvin, my night pants, and my pajamas in that was under the bedside table and began rummaging through it.
"No." I shook my head. I had no interest in writing for my opera. It was a stupid idea. No one would want to watch stuff about my life, anyway.
"Well if you don't want to do that, then I brought some of your books. I don't think you've read them yet."
"No." I said again.
"Is there anything you want to do?" He stopped fumbling with the bag. I thought for a moment.
"No."
"I guess we can just lay here then." He laid down beside me. I stiffened again, and the same wave of anxiety from last night came back full force.
"Don't lay beside me!" I cried out, and he instantly bolted upright.
"I'm sorry!" He accidently yelled, jumping out of the bed. I fllinched. "I mean... I'm sorry." He lowered his voice after he got a holdl of himself. "I'll just sit here." He put the bag on the ground, the slid into the chair beside my bed.
........................................................
Everything went fine enough for Healer Phillips, and I was moved back into my room at Noon, as promised. It was time for my nap then, but I didn't want to take it. What if I had another night terror? I didn't want to risk it. That being, I also didn't want to take my Combination because it would make me take my nap. I denied it when Draco tried to give it to me, and still denied it when he went and got Healer Fuchs.
"Please, Mrs. Malfoy. You will feel a lot better after a nap." She reasoned, pushing the Combination towards me. I slid off of the bed and sat on Draco's lap. He was back in the chair beside my bed.
"No." I mumbled into his chest. My eyelids were heavey, but I was going to fight the urge to sleep.
"And your Combination will also help. You must take it. Please be goood and take it." She tapped on my shoulder. I hugged Draco tighter.
"Please, Elle. Don't make me call Dad." Draco put his hand on my back. I swollowed. A sudden yearning for Lucius came over me, and I looked up at him.
"Will you call Dad?" I quietly asked. He held me a little closer.
"Him and Mum are at work. They're going to come afterward."
"But I want him..."
"What time do they get off work?" Healer Fuchs asked Draco. He took in a breath as I pressed my face into his chest again.
"The Apothicary closes at three today."
"Mrs. Malfoy." Healer Fuchs leaned over to me. "If you be a good girl now and take your Combination and take your nap, then Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy will be here by the time you wake up. That way, you take your nap, and they don't have to leave work. How does that sound?"
"I...." I trailed off. I really wanted him now, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to get what I wanted.
"That is a great idea!" Draco urged me to as well. He put his arms around me, and my chest tightened. It became kind of hard to breath, and I pushed him away.
"Mrs. Malfoy, if you hope to get better, you have to take it." Healer Fuchs held the vial back out. I looked at it, trying to get my breathing back to normal. I really didn't want to take it, but I had promised myself I was going to try to get better, so I guess I had to do it. I turned to face away from Draco and took the vial. She smiled as I began to drink it. "There we go. That's a very good girl." When I finished, I handed her the vial. In a few minute I would be completly out. "Would you like to get in bed?"
No.
"I guess." I lied. I got out of Draco's lap and laid down on the bed. She picked up the blanket that was nicely folded at the end of my bed and began to unfold it.
"You didn't wet last night, so you don't have to wear your, what do you call them?" She thought for a moment. "Night pants?"
"No." I told a second lie. She smiled.
"Okay. Is there anything else you need?" She asked. I shook my head no. "Would you like me to leave the two of you alone?" I shrugged and looked at Draco. I would be out in a few minutes anyway, so it was really up to him.
"That would be fine, thanks." He smiled back. Healer Fuchs gave me one finale look and left the room. Once gone, Draco scooted to the edge of the seat and took my hand.
"You're going to be okay, I promise." He assured. I closed my head and turned it away from him.
He couldn't keep that promise.