Y/N
I watched miserably as Jinhwan shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but I shouldn't fall for someone who isn't recovered from a heartbreak." He finally looked up and matched my gaze. "I should've known better than that."
My hand fell along with my heart. Is it best to just let him go if that's what he wants?
We stared at each other for a long moment before I heard Jinhwan let out a heavy sigh, gently nudge me aside, and twist the doorknob. I kept my eyes glued to the floor until I noticed he still hadn't left.
I turned around to see Jinhwan standing at the door, back facing me. "Jinhwan?" I peered over his shoulder to see a shocked Jin.
Jinhwan glanced at me over his shoulder with a clouded expression. "See you, Y/N." And with that, he strided out the door and past Jin's confused expression.
"Jin, what are you doing here??" I groaned loudly and covered my face with my hands. "You have the worst timing."
He shrugged and gave me apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I just wanted to give you this," he said as he thrust a wrinkled up envelope towards me. "I know I don't have any excuse even being around you, but I just thought you deserved an explanation or at least my lame excuse for what I've done to you."
I nodded, refusing to let a tear drop from my eyes from seeing Jinhwan leave. "Thanks. I'll um... I'll get to it..."
Jin glanced behind his shoulder as if Jinhwan would still be standing there. "Don't worry. He'll be back, Y/N. They all come back to you."
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"Honey, look!" Jinhwan's mom pointed frantically at what appeared to be a distressed Jinhwan lugging around a duffel bag.
Her and her husband were just rounding the corner to Y/N's house when Jinhwan was seen across the street with most of his belongings.
The man rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he examined his son from a distance. "Is he... is he crying?? What happened?"
The woman shot a look at her husband as she scolded hi, "no, honey. Obviously, things have gone wrong in Jinhwan-ville, and he is moving out!" She lightly slapped the back of his neck with the palm of her hand. "Learn to read the signs."
The man scowled at his wife as he rubbed the back of his neck. "This just took a turn for the better," he smirked.
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Y/N
Dear Y/N,
I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused you. I remember the harsh words I spit out at you the day we broke up. Of course, the truth is I did love you. I told you that I did not because my parents had set up an arranged marriage for me in another country, and I thought that breaking up with you would be easier if you had thought my love for you was never there than if I were to break up with you lovingly.
I'm sorry, Y/N. I should have stood up to my parents. I ended up visiting my bride to be for a week, but things were called off abruptly. I was devastated that I ended my relationship with you over something that eventually became nothing.
I see how wrong I was back then, and I started to hate myself for doing that to you. I hated myself and continued to take it out on you by teasing you and mocking you with crude remarks because I felt that that was the only way to still be close to you in the end.
Although I still care for you, I know you don't have feelings for me, and I am not trying to get you to like me again. I wrote this letter in hopes of reconciling with you through a friendship or at the least explain myself and lessen the guilt I feel every day.
A very sorry man who doesn't deserve to be forgiven (but still hopes you will),
Jin
I reached the end of the letter and sighed to myself. He was right that I didn't have feelings for him, but it was still relieving to have this letter as an explanation. Even though I was already starting to love myself on my own already, I think this letter really helped me realize that I am capable of accepting myself without validation from others.
I tucked the letter away in my drawer as I slumped down into the comfort of my bed. My thoughts wandered to Jinhwan immediately.
I laid sprawled on my bed with my phone nestled between my fingers, hoping for some contact from Jinhwan. Was he safe? Does he even have a place to stay?
I sighed loudly and smashed my face into my plush pillow. I suddenly remembered his scent and wished the pillow was his sturdy chest but was met with the harsh reality instead.
Maybe I'll see him at school. Or Rissa's party?
With the darkness beginning to blanket my room, I felt my eyes grow heavy from the weight of the tears shed that day and slipped into a deep slumber.
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Beep. Beep. Beep.
My eyes shot open at the sudden noise, and I drank in my surroundings. It felt so empty and lonely. I groaned and decided to get ready for school, hoping I could catch Jinhwan.
After finishing my mundane routine of getting ready, I slipped out the door and started walking towards school. My eyes stared at my feet shuffling across the concrete, until I heard an urgent voice pierce the silent morning air.
"Help!! Help!" A man I didn't recognize was running towards me, looking panicked and scared.
My eyes widened, and I immediately went up to him. "Sir, is everything okay? What's wrong?" I felt my heart race a little as I was unsure of the situation.
He panted, "I-I'm looking for someone named Y/N. I think they live by the mansion up there. A-are you Y/N?"
Taken aback, I stuttered, "W-who are you?"
The man shook his head, dismissing my question. "I was walking around the shops near here when I saw a van hit a pedestrian across the street. He was too injured to talk coherently, but he pointed at that big mansion on the hill. He said his name was Kim Jinhwan. Before he passed out, I heard him say a word: Y/N. I called the ambulance and started my way to the mansion when they came."
My heart plummeted to the floor as his words registered, and I felt my knees go weak. Jinhwan.
The witness noticed my knees buckling and reached out for me. "I can take you to the hospital to visit him if you want. The paramedics said he would be okay, but he needs to undergo a blood transfusion and stitch up his wounds accordingly."
I nodded weakly while I tried to let my brain process everything, but it just couldn't. It was like my brain had frozen and couldn't accept any new information currently.
He led me towards the bustling streets near the cafes and to his car parked on the side of the street. He pointed an intersection across the parking lot. "That's where it happened. Looks like it's been cleaned up a bit. There's still some glass shards, so be careful if you walk around that area."
I nodded weakly, not really registering his words. He opened the car door for me, and I slipped in comfortably.
"He'll be okay, okay?" He tried to reassure me and peered at me through the rearview mirror, but I couldn't muster up any words and simply stared blankly out the window.
After what seemed like half an hour of driving, I noticed the scenery begin to change from the central city to a more suburban area that I did not recognize. "Um where are we going?"
The man's eyes peered up at me again through the mirror, but I couldn't detect any expression. "The hospital."
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Jinhwan
I hesitated at the school gates, unsure if I could do this and meet Y/N's broken expression. I had stayed at a school friend's place the night before, but it didn't feel right leaving Y/N alone and so sad.
I sighed and made my way towards class, making sure to keep my head low.
Bump.
"Oh, sorry I wasn't watch-" I looked up to see Jin looking down at me curiously. I shot my chin up in the air and narrowed my eyes. "Actually, I take it back. I'm not sorry."
Jin raised his eyebrows at me amusingly. "Tch. You are quite the pest, Jinhwan."
Without answering, I kept on walking, but he maintained his conversation with me. "Why do you look so glum today?"
Silence.
Jin awkwardly rubbed his neck as I continued to ignore him. "Look, I know you don't like me, but-"
"Disliking you would be an understatement of the year," I spat, breaking the one sided silence between us. I stopped walking and gently pushed him against the wall. "And you know why? You played with Y/N's feelings and I know you will just do it all over again. She doesn't deserve that."
Jin raised two of his hands up in a surrender position. "Even if I wanted to, which I don't, I can't. I tried to fix things with her. Not sure if she forgives me, yet, but I tried." He shrugged before continuing, "she likes you, man. I thought you knew that." He glanced down at my clueless expression before adding, "you do know that, right?"
I paused, really confused on the situation. "But yesterday I saw-"
Jin covered my mouth up urgently, and his face was as red as a tomato. "No! We don't speak of that!" He lowered his gaze and stared into my eyes with a serious expression. "Look, I kissed her without permission. It was this big misunderstanding, and I told her to not tell anyone because of how embarrassing it was," he hissed at me.
"So... you guys aren't dating again? And she doesn't like you at all?" I felt the guilt wash right over me.
Jin shook his head fervently. "No! She rejected me for you. But that's okay..." His voice trailed off a little and his gaze wandered off. I followed where his gaze was, and it settled on Rissa with her circle of friends. "I think I have to make things right with another girl, right now," he said to himself, but not out of my ear's reach.
I watched him make his way towards Rissa, and I ran to Y/N's and I's first class right as the bell rang. I slipped into a seat and glanced over at where Y/N would usually always sit. I was met with an empty chair and no Y/N.
The teacher made a quick scan of the room before musing, "Y/N isn't here, but she's not excused. Does anyone know where Y/N is?"
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[A/N: Hello, guys! Here is another update for you all. I attached a beautiful cover of Half a Heart by One Direction that Donghyuk and Jinhwan, my bias and ex bias T~T (Jinhwan was my first iKON bias and Donghyuk was my bias wrecker who then became bias I'M SORRY). Anyway, it deserves a lot more love, and it goes along with some of the story, so please listen to it! Thank you for reading <3]