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When was the last time you did something for the first time?
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When I was little my feelings of fear confused me, it still did now, but it was worse in my childhood. I wasn't able to detect the link between the ache in my tummy and fear. I always thought I was ill. I remember that one time my family and I went to a fair. I'd always protest when I was asked to join my sister on a ride, but one time I dared myself to accept the offer. Bad idea.
I was so scared I almost threw up, before and during the ride. When I told my parents that I was feeling sick to my stomach they were worried, but claimed that it was due to the cotton candy I stuffed myself with before the ride.
So that was that. After that occurrence, I never told my parents about this strange tummy ache again. It was odd really, because, in a way, I was able to distinguish illness from fear in the way my stomach hurt, but since I didn't know that it was in fact anxiety I always wrote it off as a temporary stomach ache.
One thing I did know about this mental ache, was that it had never changed, it always felt the same, sometimes more forceful than other times, but the feeling stayed equal. It was always the same type of torture I went through. As I was now.
The uneasy twist in my stomach region had me mentally toppling over in pain. On the outside, however, all I did was purse my lips and tighten the sweaty grip I had on my other hand, my index finger and thumb playing with the ring on my left pointer finger. My thoughts were racing in my head, trying to find a way to somehow calm myself, with little success. I sat stiffly in my seat, not daring to move a muscle. My chest was tight as my heart beat furiously against my ribcage. At this point, nausea was hard to handle.
Suddenly, Sam reached out and put his hand on my knee, temporarily distracting me from the painful mess inside of me. "Are you excited, love?"
He blindly reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers before bringing them to his lips and kissing the back of my hand.
I was hyper aware of the sweat that coated my palms, but the feel of his skin against mine willed me not to pull away.
"Uh, a little nervous," I admitted since anxiety had had my facade crumbling an hour ago, leaving me bare.
He gave my hand another kiss before placing them on his chest. "Don't be. You don't need to worry. Everyone will love you, babe." He gave my hand a squeeze. I wanted to smile, but I found I couldn't do so genuinely. I wish I'd stop worrying too.
Today was the day I'd be meeting the people closest to Sam, his friends and family. I'd been dreading this day ever since my boyfriend first suggested it. Not because I didn't want to meet them, but...well, you already knew why. Because of this exact situation.
However, it was just now that I realized I'd told him all about the people closest to me, but he never told me much about his friends and family.
"Tell me about your mom," I said, trying to distract myself from the ache inside of me.
"What do you want to know?" He asked, absently tightening his grip on my hand.
"I don't know. What are her hobbies?"
"Hmm, well, she reads a lot."
"Really?!"
He laughed at my excitement. "Yeah, she's joined a book club and everything. I thought you might be happy about that."
"Very." That was something I could work with. At least, we'd have a topic to talk about if things went south.
"Anything else you want to know?"
"What's she like?"
He grinned and simply said, "She's a mom."
I glared at him, only partly serious and flicked his temple. He just laughed. "I know she's a mom, but not every person has the same character."
He was still smiling brightly. "Okay, I'll tell you when you kiss it better that actually hurt a little."
I tried to fight the smile that was tugging at my lips. Silently, I leaned over and gave his temple a lingering kiss. When I pulled back he pouted. "Now, I'm not sure I'm better, my lips kind of hurt too."
I leaned back in my seat. "Nope." Nice try, buddy.
"But-"
"You are driving, Sam. I'm not risking anything, besides, we had a deal. So, talk."
"Fine," he said, his pout slowly subsiding. "I guess, you could say my mom is pretty open minded. She also doesn't judge easily. She always waits for an explanation before getting mad which is a pretty good character trait if you ask me." He smiled and took his eyes off the road for a second to wink at me.
"She sounds awesome."
Not jumping to conclusions was a skill I had to admire her for. With two boys under one roof, I guess you learned to be patient over time.
Although, every time I imagined Sam in his house I thought him to be a father figure to his little brother, showing him how to ride a bike, teaching him to read, helping him with homework. But Simon wasn't the only child without a father, so was Sam, with the only difference that the latter didn't have an older brother that cared for him while growing up.
Sam had to grow up quickly to make up for the the missing family member in their home, I assumed.
My heart ached for the little boy Sam once was and it ached for him now. When we came to a red light I scooted closer to him, leaned over and kissed his cheek softly.
When I pulled back he smiled gently at me. "What was that for?"
"For you," I answered honestly.
His grin slowly vanished as his eyes traced over my features, studying me closely. His gray eyes seemed so utterly confused as he gazed at me before something in him clicked and another emotion washed over him. I'd been watching the change with gentle curiosity.
He parted his lips as though to say something, but then thought better of it and brushed them against my own. The kiss was so gentle I wasn't sure it was real. He took it slow, tenderly even as though too much pressure could break me, as though I was something precious he couldn't afford to lose to anyone, not even to himself.
When he pulled back a little, just enough to look at me, he sighed against my lips as though in protest as if an invisible force was pulling him away from me.
"You are..." he started, shaking his head, eyes closed. "Elizabeth Graham..." he broke off again, a smile tugging at his lips. "How can you even... Gosh, you have me tongue tied, Baby Girl," he chuckled.
I smiled, the revelation giving me some kind of weird satisfaction. I gave him a swift peck before pulling away again.
"How can you even think my people won't like you? No person in the right state of mind would take a dislike towards you."
I pulled back fully, frowning. "You do know, not every person actually likes me, right?"
"Yeah, crazy people."
Don't do that. Don't make me out be something I'm not.
His happy expression turned into a frown when I stared at him silently. "What? What is it?"
Stop, talking about me like I'm perfect, like I couldn't make mistakes, like I wasn't able to do things wrong, like I made the right decisions at all times, like I wasn't so very flawed. There were quite a lot of people who disliked me, hated me even. I wasn't popular and loved by everyone.
I didn't want to make him aware of that though, did I? If he thought I was perfect why not let him believe it? The answer was quite simple, I didn't want him to have expectations of me that I couldn't live up to.
I pushed it to the back of my mind. For now, I could let him believe that I was the perfect girlfriend he wanted to have. I could live with it for the moment and I had the strange feeling he needed it somehow as some kind of reassurance.
Besides, I wanted this day to go smoothly. I'd promised myself to leave all bad thoughts, including the ones of Jensen and Thalia and the fact that Alex was getting worse again instead of better, at home. Whether I could actually keep that promise, however, was doubtful.
"Nothing, Sam."
For a moment, it looked like he wanted to press the issue, but then the light turned green and he focused on the road.
The ride continued and my nerves picked up the closer we got to his home. I was so nervous the air around me was thick with tension. Sam, however, seemed to be very oblivious of my discomfort. Good, at least, he couldn't tell how much this was getting to me.
We stopped at a house similar in size to my own home. The building was a light blue with a dark gray roof and white accents. Box planters were lining the windows at the front of the home. The flowers, intense in color, stood out against the pale blue of the walls.
"Nice house," I commented as he opened my door after he'd hopped out of his side and rounded the car.
"Thanks." He reached for my clammy hand and pulled me in the direction of his home after he'd locked the doors. "You ready?"
I gave him what I was sure was a nervous smile. He grinned down at me before gifting me with a quick kiss. "You'll be fine," he said. "I won't leave your side, babe. Promise."
I was practically shaking from head to toe once we came to a halt at the front door. He opened the door and entered and I took a deep breath and braced myself...
Only...
"Mom?! Simon?!"
Nobody was home.
The knot in my stomach slowly loosened.
Sam frowned after he'd checked the rooms and came back to the entrance where I was still awkwardly standing, not knowing what to do with myself. "That's weird they should be..." He got out his phone and checked something. After a moment, his free hand flew up to his forehead, massaging the crease between his eyebrows, and sighed. "She texted me saying she was out with her book club and that she'd pick up Simon from a friend on the way home." He let out a deep, frustrated sigh as he pocketed his cell. "Another character trait of my mother, she likes to forget things."
"Honey, relax," I said and touched his arm to calm him. "I can just meet them later."
"But by the time they get home, we'll be already out with my friends."
"Then we'll just come back here after I meet your friends," I said calmly before I got on my tiptoes, shot him a reassuring smile and brushed my lips against his' after having slung my arms around his neck.
"Hmm," he murmured, reaching out and placing his hands on my waist. When I settled back down on the soles of my feet his gaze was still on my lips. He leaned down and swiped his tongue over my bottom lip, earning him a silent gasp.
He hummed in delight. "You always taste so good, Baby Girl. I can barely keep myself from devouring you."
I gulped but didn't get the chance to speak before his lips were back on mine. His words did something crazy to my body, both in a good and bad way. He yanked me forward by my waist, our lips never leaving each other. My hands found their way to the back of his neck as he pressed me to him firmly. A gasp trying to escape my throat was swallowed by his hot mouth on mine. He had one hand on the back of my head, tangled in my hair, angling my head upwards for better access, the other slung around my waist, holding me against him.
I barely noticed that he moved backward, his hold on me dragging me with him. I almost stumbled over his feet as his tongue traced my lips before diving into my mouth. My body was searing hot, his hands scorching my skin, leaving his mark on me as they traveled over my form.
In one moment, we were stumbling through his house in the next, we were shuffling through a door and dropping onto a soft piece of furniture with me on top of him. My heart jumped into my throat, my hands beginning to shake.
"Wait," I pulled back, quite breathless and straddling him on what I now realized was a couch. One look around told me that we were in the living room.
"What?"
"Tell me about your friends."
He groaned. "Now?"
"I want to be prepared."
"Yeah, but we have hours before we meet them."
"Please," I pleaded. "Meeting your friends is a big deal."
He sighed, but staring up at me, he couldn't help but smile. "Alright," he said before leaning up and stealing another swift kiss. "Hmm, so there's my best friend, Val. You'll notice her immediately."
"Why?"
"Well, for one, her hair is blue," he explained. "And the first thing she'll do when she sees you is to give you a hug." She sounds nice so far, I thought.
"Are you only saying kind things about your friends so I won't freak out?" I asked, smiling.
He laughed. "No, that's just Val, she's easy to love."
"Tell me more about her."
"First, I want a kiss," he bargained. I pouted as he grinned up at me in triumph. Quickly, I leaned down and pecked his lips. Now, it was his turn to pout. "After this, I'm getting a real kiss," he insisted stubbornly.
I laughed. "Promise."
"Hmm, so Val is...she's a no nonsense kind of girl. She is not a friend of secrets and isn't hiding anything from anyone. So, basically, she is an open book."
I nodded. That must be nice. Not having to keep things from others, just being your true self. I was doubtful however if I ever achieved anything like that. I wasn't sure I was able to be upfront and completely open towards anyone. Hell, I was not even truly honest with myself most of the time.
"Can I get my kiss now, please?"
I laughed at how adorable he both looked and sounded. I leaned down and met his lips. The kiss wasn't anything like the one we'd shared in the car, it was hard and fast. It was the kind of kiss that I felt everywhere. It was the kind of kiss that filled you to the brim with heat and longing. A voice in my head screamed for more, more, more. Another one screamed stop, stop, stop.
Sam's fingers got lost in my hair as he held the back of my head, guiding me upwards as he sat up. My hands had a firm grip on his shirt as his tongue slipped past my lips and his taste overwhelmed my senses. I felt so hot I was sure I was glowing red. His free hand slipped under my shirt, coming in contact with the heated skin of my back, before applying pressure and pressing my front against his own. He grunted as my chest met his.
At this point, I couldn't notice anything other than the way our bodies touched, or how close we were intertwined.
I almost yelped when his hand went lower and he grabbed my ass, pulling me against his lower region. My eyes went wide, my heart thumping, thumping, thumping against my chest and drumming in my ears. Another grunt escaped him as I was enveloped in another flood of heat. "What are you doing to me, Baby Girl?" He murmured against my lips. I was left absolutely speechless, but somehow I sensed that he didn't expect an answer from me. His tongue slid over my bottom lip and I shivered at the gesture as he pulled away. He took his t-shirt off one-handed, his other hand still on my behind, keeping me firmly in place and situated on his lap.
He reached for the side of my face and pulled me back to his lips when suddenly...
A throat was cleared.
It took us a second to catch on before we both pulled away, staring at each other wide eyed. Oh my fucking gosh. Please, God, no! Please, don't let this be true.
Sam was the first to turn his head in the direction of the door. He cleared his throat. "Uh, mom, what are you doing here? I thought you were out." His voice sounded hoarse as he spoke and when I made a move to climb off his lap he reached out and kept me in place with wide eyes and a grimace.
I dared myself to turn and look up at her through my lashes. One thing was for sure Sam's mom was gorgeous. Dirty blonde, tall and curvy she stood there with an amused look on her face. And as though the situation wasn't embarrassing enough my eyes fell on the figure next to her who had to be Sam's little brother, Simon. He was a mini Sam, minus the muscles and height. He stared at us in wonder, taking the scene in that was played out in front of him.
Oh dear God.
My cheeks were burning.
However, all Mrs. Wheelan said was, "Really, Samuel, on our couch?"
I looked at my boyfriend, too mortified to look at anyone else. He cleared his throat again like he was about to say something, but his mom beat him to it. "Well, we'll let you... freshen up. We'll be in the kitchen whenever the two of you are ready." The shuffling of footsteps was heard in the quiet room as well as the opening and closing of a door before tension filled silence enveloped us completely.
Talk about a good first impression.
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"Would you guys like something to drink?" His mom asked the second we entered the kitchen. Sam placed his hand on my back. It was a small gesture but his silent reassurance was the support I needed. "Oh right, I forgot, you are probably thirsty for something else than drinks."
And there went the comfort I received a second ago.
"Mom," he said it warningly almost like he was scolding her.
But when she turned around she smirked in amusement, let out a laugh. "I'm kidding, just joking." Her smile faded a little once she turned to me. "Liv was it?" She asked, offering me her hand.
I accepted it, tried to smile genuinely as I corrected. "Uh, Liz. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Wheelan."
"You too, Liv." My heart fell down to my belly.
"Mom!" That scolding voice again, like a father putting his daughter in place.
She laughed. "I'm just messing with you, girl, I know all about you, courtesy of my son."
I forced myself to smile, let out a small laugh. Inside I was frowning. Her words, meant to be funny, made me insecure, intimidated me even. I couldn't take such jokes lightly, not today when my nerves were all over the place already. My mind was racing, analyzing every word she uttered, the meaning behind them and her sincerity. "I thought you are out with your book club till late tonight."
"I was," she replied, arms crossed casually over her chest. "Then I got your angry text. 'Where the hell are you, mom? You're supposed to meet my girlfriend today!' So, not wanting to be scolded again for forgetting things, I made my way home and picked Simon up on the drive back. When we arrived you two were quite busy getting it on though."
"Mom!"
I couldn't look at her, my cheeks were flaming hot.
"Sheesh, why so serious today? Oh, I'm embarrassing you in front of your girlfriend, aren't I?"
"Kinda!"
"Well, she better get used to it."
"Mom!"
Now, I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing, I couldn't help the smile though. The relationship between Sam and his mother was unique. She was laid back and seemed not to judge me for catching me making out with her son. I wished I could be as relaxed as she was.
"What are you laughing about? You think this is funny?" Sam asked as he looked down at me, his hands now around my waist. He tried to appear stern, but couldn't stop the grin tugging at his lips.
"A little bit," I admitted sheepishly.
"Oh yeah, how about this?"
Before I could ask what he meant he was suddenly tickling me. I was squirming, trying to get away from him. "Sam!" I laughed and for a moment I was able to forget that his mother was with us.
"I'll stop if I get a kiss."
I laughed, "Fine, whatever you want."
He stopped and turned me around to face him. I let out another small chuckle before getting on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek softly. When I pulled back he pouted at me. Insatiable. I laughed before pecking his lips, making him beam down at me.
"My oh my, are you two cute!"
Sam basically ignored his mom as he pulled me into him, my back to his front, his arms hugging me to his chest as he leaned down to kiss my cheek. The corners of my lips lifted without my permission.
I was somewhat more relaxed now. Sam helped a little, well his affection somehow did.
"Sit down, babe. I'll get you something to drink," he said quietly near my ear before pecking my cheek once more.
"Water will do, thanks," I said while taking a seat at the small round table in the corner of the room. His mom joined me shortly. I cleared my throat. My hands wringing under the table. "I'm sorry that you had to leave your book club early. I told Sam that I could just meet you another time, but he wouldn't listen."
She waved it away like an annoyance. "Uh, forget it, girl, it's not a problem."
"What book are you currently reading?" I asked, not able to hold my curiosity in any longer.
She perked up at that. "You a bookworm?"
"Kinda," I admitted sheepishly, a smile on my lips.
She gazed at me for a second, just observed me, and then, for some reason, she smiled. "We're reading the Fifty Shades trilogy."
I was sure if I had been drinking at this moment I would have spit out my water. Instead, I played dumb, trying not to appear shocked or surprised. I didn't want her to think I was judging her for the books she was reading. "Sorry, what?"
"Fifty Shades of Grey? You know, the dirty book with lots of BDSM in it? You've never heard of it before?"
"Uh, yeah, no, I totally have."
"So, you've read it?" she inquired curiously.
"Uhm, not yet no, but I do own a copy so basically it's on my tbr pile."
"Oh, well, you should read it soon, you know with all the movies coming into theaters. You should go see it with Sam, it's coming up soon."
Wasn't the film coming into theaters in February? 2015! So, like in five months? And she already expected me to make plans?
"Uh, yeah, I'll think about it."
"What will you think about?" My boyfriend asked, handing me a glass of water before sitting down as well. I could feel my cheeks heating up. Again! How was I supposed to tell him that I just had a conversation with his mother about a BDSM novel?
His mother, bless her soul, made the decision for me and replied, "About dragging you to the movies to watch Fifty Shades of Grey with her."
I felt him looking at me, but I just sipped my water, not able to make eye contact.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him opening his mouth, ready to reply when he was interrupted by the noise of running footsteps and loud rattling.
Our gazes all turned to the door when Simon entered the room. A boyish grin was plastered onto his face as he jumped up and down in excitement, a box in his hands that clattered everytime he moved.
"Sam!"
The man in question groaned. "Damn it, I forgot."
"Yesterday you said you'd play today. You pro-"
"Yeah, I know, I promised, but we have a guest, Si."
The younger one of the Wheelan brothers lowered the box disappointingly, his face dropping. When he tilted the box I caught a glimpse of the label and everything clicked into place. Sam had told me before that Simon was skilled in Scrabble and that he lost every time against his brother. "But-"
"Simon," his mom cut him off. "Did you say hello to Liz here?"
With a sunken face, he approached me and grudgingly lifted his hand. Surprised, I slipped my hand into his own. His grip was loose, weak even. "I'm Simon."
I smiled at him, feeling bad for him. "It's nice to meet you, Simon, I've heard loads about you already."
He perked up a little. "Oh yeah, like what?"
"Mhh, like you're a genius and that you always win against your brother when you play Scrabble."
He grinned proudly, but when he spoke next it subsided a little. "Sam was busy yesterday, but promised to play today."
"Oh, well," I said, my focus still on Simon. "You can't break promises."
"I know!" He said it in a I'm-so-glad-someone-finally-understands-me kind of way. "Hey, since Sam won't keep his promise will you play with me?"
I smiled. "Sure."
The little boy beamed before grabbing my hand and dragging me along. "What just happened?" I heard Sam ask aloud as we stepped out of the room and into the living room. "I think your little brother just stole your girlfriend, honey."
In a matter of seconds, Sam joined us in the living room. "Si, I never said I wouldn't keep my promise."
His brother shrugged. "Too late. I got Liz now," he said and pulled me down onto the floor in front of the coffee table. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. However, I wasn't sure I was the better choice for this game.
I winced internally. I had a confession to make. "Simon?" He looked up at me. "I'm afraid before we start I have to confess something." He watched me curiously. "I've never played Scrabble before."
His shocked face was something I'd probably never forget, his wide eyes were seared into my brain. "You've never... like not at all?"
I shook my head, my lips pursed, self-conscious. "Nope."
"Oh my God..."
I laughed a little, only partly out of embarrassment.
"I'll partner up with her," Sam offered. "You know since it's her first time playing."
"So she will lose? I don't think so, bro," Simon replied. "I'll partner up with her."
"But that's unfair, with both of you in one team I'll surely lose."
"Oh, please, as if you wouldn't lose either way."
Ouch. I had to keep myself from snickering as Sam humphed with a pout and crossed his arms over his chest protectively. Instead, I awed and stroked his upper arm. "Don't worry, babe, I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"Hey, don't be nice to him, he's the enemy," Simon chastised me.
In a matter of minutes, I was explained the rules of the game and we started playing. I had to say Simon really knew his words. At first, since he wasn't used to playing in a team, he placed tiles onto the board in a flash, creating words without giving it much thought. Once he noticed this though he toned it down a bit and included me. Every now and then, I whispered a word into his ear, waiting for his approval to proceed. Sometimes he nodded, other times he shook his head and pointed a word out to me which would get us more points that I'd initially overlooked.
In the end, Sam had been right, we won.
Once we finished packing everything away we gathered at the round table in the kitchen once more, joining Sam's mother which I now was allowed to call Shauna. After we spent some time talking and getting to know each other it was almost time to meet up with Sam's friends so I excused myself to use the bathroom. Returning, I was about to enter through the swinging door, but stopped in my tracks when I realized they were talking about me.
"-you like her?" I heard Sam's voice ask.
"Yees," Simon answered. I smiled. "She's smart and friendly and really beautiful." Simon was a charmer.
"Hold your horses there, buddy," Sam replied with a chuckle.
"Watch out, Sam, your brother might just snatch your girlfriend away," Shauna said teasingly.
I almost didn't catch Simon's quiet reply as he spoke shyly, "Maybe."
"Mom?" Sam asked.
"Well, she's really nice, maybe a little uptight, but I'm sure you can change that." I could practically feel her wink at him through the door. Heat flooded my face for the hundredth time today at her innuendo.
"Mom," he said in that stern voice of his' that he seemed to use only when his mother made an inappropriate joke.
"Oh come on, Sammy, you know what they say, good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught." Did she just quote 5 Seconds of Summer?
I took that chance to walk into the room and make my presence known. After a quick goodbye and a hug from Simon, we were on the road again and off to the venue where we would meet Sam's friends.
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Hey guys
I'm terribly sorry that you had to wait sooo damn long for this chappy, but as you can see, it is hella long and that's only half of it, I had to split it up.
I got back from England four days ago and kinda miss it. It feels weird to be here again and not speak English almost twenty-four seven although I still want to do it sometimes. LOL. People in England are sooo nice and friendly, that's what I really miss about it and all the green landscape and sheep. But since I got back I was up and running, planning my sister's graduation party that occurred yesterday and the day before that I was baking her cake the whole damn day.
But enough about me.
What do you think about Sam's fam, huh? About adorable Simon and hilarious Shauna?
Also, keep that childhood memory of hers in mind when reading the next part.
Please vote/comment?
Hugs and kisses
Kathy