Sincere Harris
"You got a fucking gun to my head Dre? I have your child--which you know for a fact is your child-- sitting in my stomach and you want to pull a gun on me?", I asked, eyeing him down as another tear slipped from my eye. I don't know if they're tears of anger or of what an emotional wreck I am, but all I know is that this shit hurts more than anything right now.
"You got this trick pregnant?", India asked, scrunching her face as she sat on the couch, watching the scene unfold.
"I'd advise you to shut the fuck up because I won't hesitate pulling this trigger for you bitch, period and if you care about that possible piece of DNA in her body, I'd advise you to shut her the fuck up.", I said, tilting my head further to the side as I watched his whole demeanor alter from angry to helpless in a matter of minutes. He's put himself into a situation he can't run from, and I have nothing left to say to him. I'm on my own for the rest of this pregnancy, and I'll be just fine, but he's going to feel me tonight. Every ounce of pain I've felt over these last five months shall be released tonight. He will suffer how I once did and I won't give a shit about how much he hurts.
"I've tolerated a lot of shit from you Dre. Some shit that I never thought you would put me through after I opened up and told you every fucking thing that has happened to me. How could you put me through it again? You took my heart and crushed it more than what it already was. You're just like every fucking body else!", I yelled, causing him to shake his head at the fact that I was really giving him a run for his money right now. I want him to break. I want him to feel this shit more than what I did. "I held it down and I played my role very well, and you just played all over me like a damn play ground. Now you want to sit here and threaten my life over a bitch who only with you for the funds. You're a damn fool."
"Sincere, shut 'dat shit up. On some real shit, I don't give a fuck 'bout what you sayin'.", he mugged, lifting his eyebrow at me.
"You don't care about me Dre? You don't care about Lani and Jay or our little munchkin?", I asked, sniffling at the fact that he was really showing his ass right now.
"Don't bring them in 'dis shit!", he yelled.
"The minute you pulled that damn gun out on me, you brought them into this. You're going to take me away from them, knowing I'm all they have? Huh? You're going to threat me, knowing that out of every damn person in this bitch, I'm the only one that fully knows the shit that runs through your head on an every day basis! You have a gun to my head right now Dre. Is this is really want you want?", I asked. He stared at me slightly with a red face before dropping his head in thought. My mind was running a mile a minute as I thought about every single aspect of this relationship and if it was really worth keeping. The thoughts were ongoing until I heard the door behind us open, and I could only imagine the looks on everyone's face as they watched us stand body to body, aiming guns at one another's head.
"What 'da fuck y'all niggas got goin' on? Put the fuckin' guns down!", Choppy yelled, pulling me away from Dre by my waist as Bre laid Ju on the couch next to us.
"I'm done.", I looked Dre in the eyes as my words came out very bold and stern. Tonight marks the night that I'm officially done with Deandre Zavion Martin. I began placing my gun back into my clutch as I quickly left the room, heading downstairs to go retrieve my car. I can't get a win, no matter how hard I try. For some reason, love never seems to come easy for me and with every man I've ever chose to love intimately, it's always came with a downfall. Maybe relationships just weren't for me, or maybe I'm just incapable of being loved.
Making my way down the stairs, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face as I tried to calm myself down before making myself visible to others. I could barely make it down the stairs before I broke down, taking a seat right on the stairwell, trying to maintain my breathing. All this stress isn't good for me or my baby, and I know if I didn't calm down soon, I'd be headed straight for a hospital bed on the verge of a miscarriage. A few footsteps from behind me caught my attention as I looked up to see the one person I never really expected to see in a moment like this. I could always call on him when I need him, but that was rarely.
"Stop cryin' Sincere.", AJ took a seat next to me, pulling me into his arms as I continued to cry into his chest. He held me closely, resting his chin above my head as I released all the hurt that set heavily on my chest. This was officially my breaking point.
"AJ, how could he?", I asked, as he looked down at me cry into his chest, allowing a breath to escape his mouth.
"Growin' up, Dre was always known for doin' stupid shit. He got in trouble all the time, but that was because he got it out the mud. Auntie Gina raised him the best she could, but he was always a hot head. His temper got him into a lot of shit, and I'm not even usin' this as an excuse because he had no reason to pull a gun out on you. What I am sayin' is, sometimes he can't help the shit he does. I don't know if he told you, but growin' up, around like the age of sixteen, them cracka's diagnosed him with schizophrenia. His mom never wanted to label him as someone with it and she got him treatment for it, along with counselin', but sometimes I can still see the shit in him. He's made a big progression since being diagnosed with it, but the shit didn't really kick in until after the accident.", he said, continuing to hold me in a comforting manner. This was the first time AJ has ever really opened up to me, but he was always there to defend me when it came down to Dre.
"What accident?", I asked, wiping my eyes as I began to calm down a little. He let out another sigh as he looked down into my eyes, leaving me curious as to what he's talking about.
"I have a little sister, her name's Amiyah. She was best-friends with Dre and Bre's sister, I'yanna. Yanna and Miyah were absolutely inseparable. Yanna was Dre's sister on his dad's side, and although him and his father never got along, Dre always made sure Yanna was straight. She was only a couple years younger than us, so of course, they had a really good bond. There was nothin' Dre wouldn't do for Yanna. Around the time Dre decided he wanted to be part of the drug game, he started gettin' a lot of hate from niggas who names we couldn't even pronounce, ya' feel me? He could move a lot of weight in little time and he was fuckin' up they cash flow.", he paused and took a deep breath, before continuing with the story. "Yanna and Miyah were walkin' home from school one day because they didn't want to catch the bus. Instead of calling me or Dre, they decided to walk after we told them to stay clear of being out on the streets alone. All I can remember Miyah telling me was a car pulled up, and started letting off shots. Yanna didn't make it off the scene alive. She was shot three times, twice in the arm and once in the head. Miyah got hit in the leg, but she survived. It was like every since that day, Dre hasn't been the same."
I listened to AJ tell me the unfortunate turn of events and my heart could only hurt for him as I thought about how his brain couldn't wrap around his emotions. Half the time, he doesn't know what he's doing, but that's still no excuse for him to ever pull out a gun and place it to my head. What if he would've really flipped out and actually pulled the trigger? God forbid it ever comes to that point.
"I can look in my nigga eyes and see that he really does love you Sincere. He loves you more than he loves his damn self. It's hard for him to express his emotions and even harder for him to accept them, so of course, he's struggling with all of that right now. I'm not askin' you to stay with him, nor am I asking you to be a dumb ass for his bullshit apologies, but what you need to do is focus on you and tryin' to keep a stable environment for the baby. You make my nigga happy and I see another side of him when y'all are on even ground. Whatever it is y'all going through, y'all gonna' get through it, regardless of if it's together or separate.", AJ looked down into my eyes as he gave me an assuring look, causing me to nod my head in understanding.
"I never think I'd be sitting here hearing it from you.", I giggled slightly, giving him a small smile.
"I like you Sincere, you're a real down to Earth shorty with a good heart. You're like family to me and when you're hurtin', it kinda' fuck with my mental a lil' bit.", he admitted, refraining from the eye contact.
"Aw, you care about me.", I smiled, pinching his cheek.
"Yeah, you get on my fuckin' nerves, but I actually care about ya' ass. I ain't lettin' nobody fuck with ya'.", he commented, squeezing me tightly before finally releasing me from his embrace.
"Thank you AJ, for everything.", I say, looking into his eyes as he nodded.
"It's nothin'. Call me when you make it home and don't hesitate to use my number if you need me. You not in this shit alone.", he stated as he helped me up from the stairs.
I nodded my head in understanding before he started back up the stairs, leaving me to finally head home. Mentally and emotionally, I'm a fucking wreck, but as I've stated, I must remain strong. Here's to a new beginning, where I'm focusing on my siblings, myself and our new addition into this world.
§•••§
I walked along the pavement of our neighborhood, being sure to get in my daily walk strategies so I can remain in shape throughout this pregnancy. I did a few squat walks, duck walks and even tried a few high knees. My main focus was to maintain my weight, prepare for my finals, make sure I have everything in order for both Jayceon and I's graduation, and to just try and be happy. The baby's sex will be revealed in two weeks and I'm excited so I can begin buying gender related clothing. The patter of my feet along the concrete echoed to everyone within their yards, where as all I could hear was the music playing in my headphones from Pandora. Ashanti's Foolish was playing gracefully, giving me something to definitely relate to.
Baby I don't know why ya treat me so bad
You said you loved me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is beating for ya
I can't stop crying
I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still I stay
I sung along to the music lowly as it played within my ears, walking with my head down as I fiddled with the water bottle placed between my fingers. Unfortunately, it slipped, rolling further down the sidewalk behind me. Allowing a sigh to escape my lips, I turned to retrieve my bottle, being met with a man holding my bottle within his hands. I removed my headphones as he smiled at me, reading over the glass bottle that contained my water.
"Voss.", he read, smiling at me, showing off his rows of gold teeth. He wore a simple, clean white wife beater with a pair of grey sweats pants, along with the Charlotte Hornets Air Jordan 10s. A black Nike backpack was plastered onto his back as he held the water bottle out to me. "What possessed them to put water in a glass bottle?"
"That's a good question, but it makes the product a lot more interesting. A good impression makes a great sale.". I shrugged, taking my bottle from his hands.
"You got a point shorty.", he pushed one of his dreads out of his face before licking his pink, plump lips. Something about him was all too familiar, but I could not place my finger on what it really was. He stood staring at me as the small winds breezed past us in this March weather. I know it was bound to rain within a couple of hours.
"Thank you for picking up my bottle.", I smiled, breaking the small silence that took over us. My sunglasses that were covering my eyes allowed me to admire his appearance without getting caught. I call these the "daddy snatchers".
"No problem ma. Mind if I walk with ya'?", he asked, raising an eyebrow at me in a goofy manner. I placed my hand up to my face as if I were thinking about it, causing him to place his hand over his heart. "Damn it's like that?"
"I'm kidding.", I laughed. "Sure you can walk with me."
I planned on walking all the way to the highway street where the large brick wall begins, then turning back around to walk back home. Where ever he was headed would cause us to split ways.
"So, you gotta' name shorty?", he asked, pulling my sunglasses from my face so he could really get a good look at me. "Ima' keep these so I can make sure you not making faces at a nigga."
I allowed another laugh to escape my lips as he just smiled that same little smirk, awaiting my answer to his question. Allowing my laughs to simmer down, I looked at him before finally answering his question.
"My name's Sincere.", I stated, looking down at the bottle within my hand.
"Ja'Carrion, but niggas just call me Cari.", he spoke, looking over my sunglasses that were now being caressed by his large hands.
"Well, Cari, what brings you around here?", I asked, causing him to smirk, chuckling a little.
"How you know I don't live here?", he asked, giving me a goofy look that made me smile again. He was definitely a funny person, and making this walk a little easier for me.
"I've been living here for the past two years, and I've never seen you a day in my life.", I said, sending a goofy look back in his direction.
"Well, you have a point.", he says, licking his lips once again as he continued to look down at me on this walk. "I'm here to visit a little family. I really stay up north. North Carolina to be exact."
"Oh, you like it up there?", I asked, making me think about my visit to Virginia and reminding me that I need to call Harmony and Faith later. They plan on attending Jayceon and I's graduation and I need to get everything situated for them to fly down. Their visit is the only reason I decided against converting the guest room into the baby's room.
"Yeah, it's nice up there, but it's nothing like Florida. They don't have that southern hospitality up there and they got a lot of damn road rage.", he mentioned with a very aggravated facial expression.
"I think that's everywhere.", I laughed, causing him to nod his head in agreement.
By the time we'd discussed some of the minor things, we'd made it to the end of the neighborhood, being met with the busy highway and the large wall along the road. I stopped walking, as he came in front of me looking down upon my persona.
"I think you have something that's mine.", I laughed, pointing at my sunglasses that were propped up upon his shirt. He pulled them down, then hopped on the wall, striking poses with them.
"Get at ya' boy. Check me out.", he called out, causing me to pull my phone from my arm where it was inside a holder, snapping pictures of him. He began to seriously make faces as I took pictures of him, holding my sunglasses within his hands.
After I'd laughed my ass off for a good moment, he hopped down from the wall. I looked up at him with a smile, causing him to laugh even more at the fact that he was just staring at me with that goofy expression.
"You can make one of those my contact photo as long as you let me get ya' number.", he smirked, causing me to smile.
"Smooth, I like it.", I laughed, as he held his iPhone 7+ out to me, allowing me to place my number in his phone.
Sincere 💜
After saving my name and number within his phone, I allowed him to do the same. He took his time and finally handed my phone back to me, along with my sunglasses, leaving us here to say our final goodbyes.
"I guess I'll see you around.", he smirked down, licking his lips once again, causing me to go into a slight daze.
"I guess you will.", I smiled, as I slowly backed away from him, turning around to head back in the direction I'd came.
As I trudged along the side walk with the sun beating against my now slightly sweaty face, my phone began ringing within my hand. Looking down at the caller ID, I smiled, answering the phone with a slight eye roll.
"I got bored.", his voice came through the phone, causing me to laugh.
"Cari, you are something else.", I smiled.
"No, but seriously, I wanna' spend some mo' time with ya'. Let me take you out?", he asked, and I could tell by the silence that followed his question, he was smiling on the other end.
"I'll think about it.", I smiled, followed by a small laugh to let him know that I was only being funny.
"Damn, that's the second blow today. You jus' tryna' break a young nigga heart.", he said.
"I promise I'm not.", I chuckled.
"I know, but nah for real, I leave next Friday. Jus' let me know."
"I got you."
"Alright. Ima' get at you later. Be safe.", he spoke into the phone, hanging up before I could respond with a goodbye.
As I pulled my phone from my ear and put the screen into sleep mode, I'd come back up to or front door, using my key to unlock it. Heading inside, I was met with an empty house as Jayceon and Kaylani were both at school, leaving me here all alone. I'd went to class this morning and now, I'm just wasting my day away. Plopping down on the couch, I mentally prepared myself for a shower, pulling my phone in front of me. I decided to surf through my pictures, deciding that it was time to definitely delete some stuff. Scrolling throughout the 1,238 pictures, I found many being screenshots of Dre and I on FaceTime. There was one particular one that stuck out to me which took place after his hair started growing back after his first haircut. He had let me braid it and left the braids in for a few days.
Smiling at the picture, I admired my smile and his facial expression captured. To this day, I can still remember the conversation that was taking place within this FaceTime call and the reason he looked so confused. My top was off and he'd just answered the call, confused as to why I was half naked in the first place. Post to his awkward expression was him getting upset about me being half naked and questioning about my whereabouts before I face timed him. I always loved watching him get jealous or upset when it came to me.
Lord knows I want our child to be able to see us as one family, happily going through every day life, but it just seems like with every blessing comes another curse. My only hope is that he doesn't resent our child and can actually handle his duties as a father. I'll be absolutely fine without him, but there should be no reason for him not to play a role in our baby's life and that's facts. Rising from the couch, I headed up the stairs, in the mood to take a nice, hot shower to remove all this sweat and outdoor debris from my body. I began to remove my clothing, after reaching my room, closing and locking the door behind me. The quietness of the house would allow me to get a lot of my assignments done and also do some online shopping for my new addition.
I stepped into the shower, closing the shower door behind me as I poured my body wash onto the loufa, lathering it into my moist skin. I began to wash myself and allow the steam to ease the stress and release all of my build up tension. This was definitely what I needed as of the moment, other than some sexual attention, but all of that would have to wait. Spending the next thirty minutes within the shower, I stepped out, wrapping my pink towel around my body before unlocking the bathroom door, walking back into my room.
It was as if my face met with a brick wall, startling me as I cocked back to swing on whatever stood before me. Eventually my wrists were above my head and I was pinned against the wall, already familiar with the only person who would restrain me like this. Any other nigga would have probably knocked my ass out.
"How did you get in my house?", I asked, in a very calm manner. I refuse to let him work my nerves, especially after everything that took place last night. I'm definitely not about to continue stressing my body and my baby for this man. I'm completely over the whole situation and I'd like to move past all of this bullshit.
"Still got da' key.", he said, looking down upon me as my body was pinned against the wall. The towel around my body was hanging on by a light hold as we stood here, staring at one another.
"Okay, what do you want?", I asked, cutting my eyes at him in curiosity.
"You.", he said, causing me to roll my eyes in response, sucking my teeth along with it.
Before I could protest or even voice my opinion about the whole situation, he kissed my lips, gently pulling my chin to his face with his thumb and pointer finger of his right hand. He released my wrists with his left hand and used it to unclench my towel that was tucked within the front, at the crease of my breasts. His face soon found its way into my neck as he lifted my naked body, against the wall, using one of his hands to play with my fat second set of lips.
"Fuck.", I moaned out, caressing the back of his neck with one of my hands as my thumb traveled up to the back of his ear.
He lifted my body higher against the wall, placing my thighs upon his shoulders as he finally went in for the kill. His tongue played a beat upon my clit as he began to please me in every way he knew how, and with the way he was feasting upon me, I know this was his way of trying to apologize. Grabbing his head, I held on trying not to move and prevent myself from falling. With the way he was sucking, kissing, and twirling, I know he'd been missing me and with the way I'm feeling, it was all too good for me to stop him. He used one of his thumbs to slightly spread my lips further, giving him better access and it threw me past the clouds.
"Dre, oh my god.", I called out, not being able to throw my head back. I bit my lip to try and withhold every single moan, but at this point, there was no use. "I can't fucking stand you!"
"Mhm, I love you too.", he mumbled, peering up at me with those eyes that I love so much more than I should. He made sure to keep his gaze upon me as he ate his way into my soul, making me have an orgasm out of this world as I felt my juices coming.
"Wait, I-I'm-", before I could even finish my statement, my juices were coating his mouth as a whimper from my mouth followed.
He gave me one large suck afterwards, before licking up my juices as he continued to look up at me, finally removing me from his mouth. Lowering me, my legs wrapped around his body as my mouth became in sync with his and his hands gripped my rear. Leading us over to my bed, my hormones were going ballistic, but I know this shit was all too good to be true.
•••
How y'all feeling ? 🤔
#TeamCari or #TeamDre ? 😂
How do you feel about the characters? Who's your favorite and why? Let me know how y'all feeling!
I'm also taking any ideas for baby names 😉. Female and male names will be accepted. If I decide to use one of yours names within a future chapter, I will definitely give you your credit in one of my inconsistent author notes at the bottom of the chapter.