One day of school was enough to make me want to stay off for the rest of the week, I couldn't go in and have people looking at me weirdly I hated it.
It was 12pm on a Wednesday and I did end up telling the police what happened, Ricardo was sitting on my bed chucking skittles in my mouth. I sucked at doing that though so we stopped and watched tv.
'I missed this.' He said and looked at me, I nodded and looked back at the screen.
'You still don't believe I'm sorry init?'
'No. I'm just trying to watch this.' He nodded slowly and came and sat next to me.
'How's the councilling?' I shrugged. I hated speaking about it, what normal 14 year old needed councilling for her mental health. I was seen as unstable and I hated it.
'Fine, how's your normal life?' I asked and he sighed.
'I wish you would stop. My life isn't-'
'It's better than mine Ricardo.'
'For fuck sake Keira stop feeling sorry for yourself, I'm helping you and so is your auntie why are you complaining?'
'When you should have been there you were kissing my best friend!' I said and he kissed his teeth.
'I thought we'd gotten past this.'
'You have, I haven't.' He stood up putting on his coat and walked towards the door.
'I'm gonna come back when you've calmed down.' I kept my focus on the screen and he left the house, I preferred being alone nowadays anyway it was so much better. I took out two of my pills and swallowed them down with some water and looked back at the bottle, they seemed to be helping, kind of. It stopped me from self harming and I was seeing a counciller one a week, I hadn't been recently because of school but I was managing. I picked up my jacket and left my house, I started walking down the road and turned the corner when I bumped straight into a boy and jumped.
'Oh sorry.' I said and then looked up, I recognised him instantly from the party a few days ago and tried hiding my face. I walked around him and he grabbed my arm and turned me back around.
'Wait... I swear I know you from somewhere.' I slowly shook my head avoiding his eyes.
'No, I don't think so.' He looked at me closely and a smile crept up on his face.
'Yeah I do, you're that girl from the party. You were all on it then you just started acting dodge.' I looked around and tried to walk past him but he blocked me.
'Can you move please ?' I asked.
'Nah wait, what's your name again?'
'Katie.' I said and he looked at me weirdly, I really didn't look like a Katie some obvious name. He nodded and I walked off quickly, I started feeling a bit lighthead and I tried to keep my eyes open as I sat down at the bus stop and waited for the bus. My head kept bobbing backwards as my eyes struggled to stay open, why was I so tired? I rubbed my eyes as my vision started to get blurry. My phone started ringing and I could barely see who was calling, I ignored it and got up I started walking instead to get some air and I lost my balance but someone caught me before I fell and helped me sit down on a wall. I looked up and noticed that same boy from earlier standing there, he looked concerned and I quickly looked away, slightly embarrassed.
'You sure you're alright?' He asked.
'Yes I'm fine, what are you stalking me or something?' He shook his head and sat next to me.
'No, I saw you looked pale and I forgot something so I was coming back and then I saw you-'
'Alright, I didn't ask for your life story.' I said and he laughed.
'You're rude you know.' I shrugged and ran my hands through my hair and rested my head back on my knees. My head was spinning, I knew something wasn't quite right. I tried standing up but I had no balance so I dropped straight back down onto the wall.
'Do you want me to take you home?' He asked, I shook my head and rummaged through my pockets but I realised I didn't have my pills. I could feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I panicked.
'Oh shit! I need to go!' I quickly stood up and stayed still for a second for my balance to come back to me and he stood up too.
'Um, Katie...' I raised my eyebrow and looked at him.
'Who?'
'That's your name... I knew it! Try to make me look dumb, that's baitly a white name and you aren't white.' I laughed and he handed me his phone.
'You can make your call, and leave your number when your done.' I smiled at him and quickly dialled Ricardo's number.
'What?' He said once he picked up.
'Ricardo, it's me Keira I really need your help.' It went silent and then I heard him sigh.
'What's happened?'
'I can't find my pills and I nearly collapsed at the bus stop.'
'Seriously? Hold on I'll come get you.' He hung up and I put my number in his phone and handed it back to him.
'So what's your name again?' I asked him and he smirked and tapped his nose.
'Don't worry Katie.'
'It's not Katie, my names Keira.'
'Alright Katie, I'll see you around yeah?' He said and walked off not before telling me to get home safe, I smiled after him. He seemed like a nice person and I still didn't know his name which was really bothering me. Not too long later I saw Ricardo running towards me and his eyes grew wide.
'Shiiiittt, you look pale! Come, I'll take you home.' I nodded and stood up, he put his arm around me to support me and we walked back to my house. As soon as we got in I went into the kitchen and searched around frantically for the bottle of pills but I couldn't find them, and I couldn't remember where they were. I looked around anxiously and Ricardo stood in the doorway watching me closely.
'Keira... how many did you take today?' I shrugged, like I kept count.
'I can't remember.' I ran upstairs and tipped everything out of the bathroom cupboard, I was shaking now with fear I wouldn't find them and I could feel sweat trailing down my forehead.
'Keira, try and remember-'
'I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER! JUST HELP ME FIND THEM!' He jumped in shock and held both of my arms, he knelt down next to me on the bathroom floor and looked at me in concern.
'Seriously, your shaking, sweating and your pale. You keep asking where these pills are and you can't even remember how many you took... Keira, are you sure you aren't taking too many?' I shook my head and pulled my arms out of his grip. I needed to find them! I needed to take them! I stood up and ran into my bedroom, I lifted up my matress and threw my clothes out of my wardrobe just trying to search for these fucking pills! But they weren't anywhere.
'RICARDO! RICARDO, I CAN'T FIND THEM!' I shouted as I rummaged through my drawers and he just stood by the door watching me weirdly.
'ARE YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE?' I asked him and he was just watching me, I kicked something out of my way and groaned in frustration. I'd lost my pills! I couldn't find my pills! I needed them to get better, I'm so fucking stupid! One thing I thought I could do was try and get better and I can't even do that! What the hell is wrong with me? I sat down on the edge of my bed crying and Ricardo came and sat next to me, he held out his palm and it had the bottle! A smile crept up on my face and I took it out of his hand but it felt really light... too light. I shook it and there was no sound, I opened the lid and the bottle was empty. My eyes grew wide and I looked at him.
'Someone stole my pills! Someone's been taking my pills!' I said and he looked at me like he was scared.
'Keira... you've finished them. There was enough to last you for 6 months. You take one a day, you must have been taking like 6.' I slowly started shaking my head and I threw the bottle across the room.
'No! No! There weren't enough, I had some left! Someone's taken them I'm telling you Ricardo!' I said looking at him and he looked at me confused.
'Keira, you're not making any sense.'
'SOMEONE'S TAKEN MY FUCKING PILLS! YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M MAD!' I shouted and he stood up and walked towards me.
'No, sorry I didn't mean that.' He said and cupped my face in both of his hands, he was looking directly into my eyes and he slowly closed his and rested his forehead on mine.
'You really aren't getting any better.' He said quietly and I pushed him off me.
'What are you talking about? I'm doing fine. Ricardo, don't you believe me? I'm sure someone took them because I had enough left.' I scratched the side of my head and started walking around my room. It was a complete mess seeing as I'd tipped it upside down looking for these pills, I could hear footsteps downstairs in my house and I frowned. I turned around and Ricardo was standing behind me still looking at me weirdly.
'What? Why are you looking at me like that? It's making me feel weird.' He slowly started shaking his head.
'I can't believe he's messed you up like this...' Ricardo said quietly behind me, I frowned and pushed my hair out of my face.
'What ? Who messed me up?'
'Him... he's caused you to become this. Keira, you're 14 and you're not... sane.' I screwed him, how dare he?!
'How DARE you Ricardo! You said you would never judge me.'
'I'm not judging you, I'm trying to help you. Keira, your hooked on these prescription drugs, they're supposed to help you and it's making you worse.'
'No it's not!' I shook my head to protest and he sighed.
'I'm seriously worried about you.' He admitted and I shrugged.
'You shouldn't be, I'm fine. I need you to come with me to get another lot, I need to make sure I take them so I stay okay.' He banged his fists against my wall and looked at me.
'You don't understand do you? You're crazy! You're hooked on these drugs, they aren't helping you and you're becoming insane Keira, I'm scared for you and your health.' I started laughing, I couldn't stop. Tears were flowing down my cheeks I was laughing so hard, I held onto the side of the bed and I could feel his eyes piercing through me.
'Babe-'
'Don't BABE me. Get out Ricardo!' I shouted and he opened his mouth to say something.
'JUST GO! GET OUT MY HOUSE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!' I started pushing him out of my room and he went downstairs with me close behind him, I opened the door and threw his jacket out and he looked back at me as though I'd lost it but he looked hurt.
'Keira, I'm trying to help you.'
'You aren't helping me, you're poisoning my mind, making me think I'm sick! Fuck you Ricardo, fuck everyone.' I slammed the door shut and sunk down against it, my head started spinning again and I blinked several times for my eyes to stay open but my body suddenly froze up and my head fell onto the cold floor. My eyes slowly shut and everything became black.