~Sang~
A knock on my door a few minutes later causes Silas and I to separate. He bends over slightly to lean his forehead on mine, as we stare into each others eyes to catch our breath. The knock sounds again, a bit more insistent this time.
"Who is it?" I ask, pulling slightly away from Silas.
"It's me," Owen's voice drifts through the door.
"Is everything alright?" I ask.
"Yes," he responds. "I just wanted to talk to you for a moment...alone."
"Give me a sec," I respond to him, before looking back at Silas. "We're good?"
"Better," he smiles.
He places a light kiss on my lips before stepping out of my embrace and turning around to open the door. I walk back across my room and take a seat at the small bench at the foot of my bed, waiting for Owen to start our conversation. He closes the door behind him and leans against it much like Silas did just a few minutes ago.
Oh God, is he here to apologize too? What on earth could he possibly think he did?
Resigned to just wait him out to see what he has to say, we find ourselves engaged in a bit of a staring contest. Not wanting to be beat by Mr. Perfection, no matter how much he may have toned down over the years, I keep my breathing even, and my eyes trained on his steel grey.
After a few moments, he sighs. His millimeter smile forming on his face as he breaks eye contact. I barely manage to restrain myself from jumping for joy. Instead, I allow myself a small smile, and wait for him to broach whatever topic it is that has him here.
"Ms. Sorenson, where are we?" he asks.
Well that I did not expect. The question, nor the use of my formal name. Where is this coming from?
"Ms. Sorenson, now, am I?" I ask with a tilt of my head. "Just a short while ago I was Sang."
"As you still are," he nods. "My apologies. Sometimes I find myself slipping back into old habits."
"Your safety zone."
"Precisely."
"And why would you feel the need for a safety zone, Owen?"
"Because I'm unsure where I stand with you."
"You're in the same place as everyone else, Owen."
"We both know that's untrue, Sang."
In all honesty, it's not. They've all made their way back into my good graces, as it were, I just haven't let them all in on that little tidbit. I suppose I'm waiting to see something from them that shows me they're ready for this. Ready for us to all be together again. They've already come to accept who I am to an extent, but that's more so in friendship. Getting reaquainted with one another. I guess what I need to see is that they've fully accepted who I've become as a woman and a mother. Much like I said earlier with both North and Silas, I need for them to treat me as their equal. Even if it leads to arguments, because at least then I know they aren't holding back. Owen standing here asking me where we stand, only lets me know that he isn't there yet.
"I don't know what you want me to tell you, Owen," I sigh.
"Tell me—" he sighs, and stops himself, running his hand roughly through his hair. "Tell me that I have even half the chance of North or Gabriel! Or hell, Silas and Kota. I'll even take a quarter of a chance Victor and Nathan have, seeing as how you've managed to forgive him. I won't even bring Sean and Luke into this, seeing as how they've already reclaimed their spots."
Luke and Sean? What on earth could've given him that idea? They spend most of their time with the twins.
"Owen...are you jealous of your brothers?" I ask with my eyes squinted in confusion.
"Yes," he breathes. "I am."
"What for?"
"Because unlike them, getting us to be on the same page has always been a difficult one."
"We both know that that has nothing to do with me, and everything with your need for control," I argue. "You can't force everything back into being the way it was, Owen, it doesn't work like that."
"Don't you think I know that!?"
"Then why do you continuously make the same mistakes!? Why do you just sit back waiting for me to run to you and throw myself at your feet? I don't crave your approval anymore, Owen! I may like to have it but I damn sure don't need it. You wanna know why the rest of the guys are actually making some kind of headway with me? It's because they realize that these are different circumstances, and I'm a different person. They're not waiting for me to fall back into the roll I once had just because it's comfortable for them. They're making themselves fit my life, not the other way around. Because like it or not Owen, I had a life here before you all came back, and I will continue to live that life, with or without you in it. Would I like for you to be there for me and the twins, yes I would. Do I expect it? I should. But I don't. And that's because only a few of you have shown me that you're here to stay. And I don't mean for the twins, I mean for me. I know each and every one of you would move heaven and earth for those two, but you won't even step foot out of your comfort zone for me, Owen. What kind of message do you think that sends? So yeah, you're not in the same place as some of the others. But that's not on me, Owen, that's on you."
Somehow, during my tirade, I subconsciously managed to stand and assume a defensive position. My chest visibly moves with each breath I take as I stand with my legs shoulder width apart, my hands curled into fists at my sides. Owen stands in shock in front of the door, eyes blown wide and unblinking. A knock on the door shakes us out of our tense mood. I take a breath before lowering myself back to my seat as I try to bring back my calm.
"Yeah?" I call out.
"Sang?" Sean's voice calls through the door. "Can I come in?"
I raise an eyebrow at Owen in question, and he steps to the side, opening up the door. Sean takes a hesitant step inside, looking around before coming in further.
"The twins heard shouting. Everything ok?" he asks.
"Everything's fine," I tell him. "I'm gonna go check on the food."
I stand and walk through the room, brushing past the both of them and heading into the living room. Before I can get to the kitchen, a hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me down onto a muscular lap. I go down with a "omph" before looking up into Brandon's twinkling blue eyes. I curl up into his lap, crossing my arms and grumbling nonsense when Owen and Sean walk into the room a few moments later.
"Sang," Owen calls out. "We need to finish our talk."
"What?" I grunt with narrow eyes. "I didn't chew you out enough in private? You need me to do it in front of the others too?"
"If you would've given me a chance to respond—"
I cut him off, "You would've said what exactly? Sorry I'm being such a whimp, causing my brothers to get more face time than me? What exactly could you have said, Owen?"
"Whoa, short stuff," Brandon says. "Everything alright?"
"Fucking peachy," I grumble, hunkering down further.
"Hey Cor?" Marc calls out. "What day is it?"
"The eighth," Corry responds. "Right on time."
"Someone toss her a chocolate bar before she goes apeshit and grabs one of Raven's guns again."
"Screw you, Axel!" I growl at him. "It was one time and that tramp had it coming!"
"Someone care to explain to us what's going on?" Nathan asks.
"Well, you see," Marc starts off. "We were at the park and some lady tried to call Sang a hoe so she went to grab Raven's gun and—"
"Pretty sure that's not what he was asking about," Brandon interrupts the story with a chuckle.
"Although I would like to hear the ending," Sean chuckles.
"Hell yeah," North calls out from the kitchen. "Sang Baby with a gun. Now that's something you don't see everyday."
"North's wet dreams aside," Kota mock shudders. "What's right on time?"
"Her cycle," Brandon tells him, grabbing the opened chocolate bar out of Raven's extended hand and pushing it against my mouth. I narrow my eyes at him before opening it take a bite.
"Assholes," I mumble around the chocolate.
"So she's just overly hormonal, right?" Owen asks. "She'll be fine in a few days?"
"Never call a woman hormonal, Owen," Sean shakes his head.
"And no," Axel adds in. "She means everything she says. It might be a bit harsher than she intended but that's just because there's no sugar coating it."
"Malen'kiy burunduk (little chipmunk) is all chew," Raven grunts.
"All bite, Raven," Corey corrects. "The term is all bite."
"Same," Raven shrugs.
Some of the boys chuckle, and as I look around the room with my fiercest glare, my eyes meet Owen's. Over the last month that the guys have been here, I've managed to pick up their eye speak and a silent conversation is had between us.
I tell him that no matter what time of the month it is, I stand by what I said in that room. He has to step up or this will go nowhere.
He tells me that he understands. And the glint in his eyes tells me he'll do whatever it takes.
The rest of the night is relatively calm. Owen doesn't say anything else about my earlier outburst and the twins come join us shortly after we finish eating lunch. We spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couches watching mind numbing television with the kids until they fall asleep in our laps.