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The Flower doesn't dream of the Bee. It blossoms and the Bee comes. ~Mark Nepo
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I had a full schedule for the day. I was currently at Ryan's, working on our literature project before we would meet our group of friends, including Sam, and go out for dinner. Afterwards, we'd head over to the party a teammate was throwing.
I was excited, but I wasn't particularly keen on the exhaustion that would surely follow.
However, now sitting in Ryan's room I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I'd been here and he'd told me about Alex. So, excusing myself to get something to drink I ventured downstairs and looked for Rachel in hopes she could answer some of the questions that were interrupting my sleeping pattern.
Upon entering the kitchen I found her unloading the dishwasher.
"Hey, uh, Rachel?" I asked tentatively.
She hummed, looking over her shoulder. "Liz, what can I do for you?"
"Um, can I ask you something?"
She smiled warmly at me and stopping what she was doing, she turned to face me. "Anything, sweetheart."
I cleared my throat, pushing the long sleeves of my shirt up to my elbows while shifting from my left to my right foot. "So, um, Ryan told me everything." Her features softened. "He told me everything that happened when we were kids. Well," I sighed, my chest feeling heavy. "At least, I think he told me everything."
She stepped closer to me, hand resting on the kitchen rag lying on the counter. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen flew open and Marcus sauntered into the room. His eyes went from his wife to me and back again in silent wonder. Rachel smiled at him and reached a hand out in his direction. He didn't waste a second before he was by her side, her arm wrapping around his midriff. "It's good to see that you took the news so well and I'm... we are glad he finally told you."
I nodded. "Yeah, uh, I just wanted to ask....When Ryan..." I screwed my eyes shut for a second, realizing my mistake. "Uh, I mean, when Alex, was in the hospital did I really never visit him?"
The couple exchanged quick glances. "No, you didn't." It was Marcus who answered.
My teeth sunk down on my lower lip as my gaze slipped to the tiled floor while nodding my head.
"Why are you asking?" Rachel's tone of voice was soft as she asked me this.
"It's odd, because before he told me everything I dreamt about him. He was lying in a hospital bed and Marcus told me that he was in a deep sleep."
Again, they glanced at each other.
"But how could I have known, my parents told me that he moved away. They never even mentioned the hospital."
Rachel cleared her throat. "Liz, when his condition didn't improve we-" she broke off, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "We became desperate. So, I went to your house and talked to your mom. I knew how close you two were and so I asked your mother if it was possible for you to visit him. However, she declined." She rubbed at her eyes. "She said she was worried it might not be good for you."
My lips were pressed tightly together as I nodded. Something close to anger flickered in my chest, the place growing warm. It was funny how my parents always thought that family and friends always came first. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't objecting. However, that it were only their friends that came first was infuriating. It was okay whenever they worried about their friends, but whenever I did they needed me to calm down, because it wasn't good for my health to worry so much. Well, newsflash, I couldn't stop to feel, I couldn't just tell my brain how to work, I couldn't control it and honestly I didn't want to. Ever since I was little, worrying was a daily occurrence, so, why stop now?
"Perhaps, you overheard us talking."
Besides, what about the people who didn't have any friends or family? What about them, huh? Who worried about them? Who cared for them? Who helped them? Who protected them?
"Yeah, maybe. But I still don't know why I couldn't remember Alex."
"Uhm, I could help with that," Marcus spoke for the second time.
Our gazes turned to him. "You can?" Rachel asked.
"How?" I wanted to know. I needed to know.
"I've suspected it for a while, but when you told us about the dreams and that you might have overheard something it made sense. Sometimes we stifle some of our memories to protect ourselves. We keep them hidden as long as we can, but once they gain meaning they need out."
"In the form of dreams?" Rachel asked.
"Sometimes, yes." He was watching me closely as he explained. "Maybe you didn't just overhear Rachel and your mother talking, maybe you overheard your parents talk about Alex' death. And that's what your brain tried to forget."
"But," Rachel interjected, fully enveloped in the story. "she was five years old. I doubt she knew what death meant."
"Did someone in your family die before Alex?" Marcus asked.
I didn't need to think about it. "Yes, a distant relative. One of my aunts."
"So, you knew that it meant your best friend wouldn't come back again and that's what you tried to forget. This loss of memory is called Lacunar Amnesia."
I nodded slowly. Not knowing what to think of this new knowledge. "Okay."
"The memories are coming back, aren't they, Liz?"
I nodded. "Slowly."
"Well, it's only normal not to remember every single thing of your childhood since it's been over a decade, but just to make sure that your amnesia isn't deteriorating I think you should get it checked out. Just to make sure," he advised. "I could give you the number of one of my friends, Dr. Thomas-"
"Brady?" Rachel asked. Apparently, she knew the man in question.
Her husband nodded. "I could call in a favor if-"
"What kind of doctor is he?" I asked, already guessing where this was going. I felt irritated for some reason as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"A therapist."
I knew it. "Then this won't be necessary, Marcus. Thanks, though."
"Wait, Liz. I really think you should go see someone."
If only he knew. "I've got it covered, don't worry." I forced a smile on my face before I walked out of the kitchen.
\\\\\
"Bee, you okay?" Ryan asked, placing his right hand on my lower thigh.
I glanced over at him seated in the driver's seat, gaze on the road before us. I cleared my throat and squeezed my hands together in my lap to keep them from fidgeting. "Yeah, I'm good," I said, despite the fact that I was ready to puke my guts out. I was this close to yell 'Stop the damn car!'. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to run away.
I felt like a lemon being squeezed to death by an imaginary hand. My whole body, every organ inside of me, every vein and every damn blood vessel was feeling so tight I was questioning my health. I felt claustrophobic in my own body.
This feeling wasn't new, but every time it greeted me once again it felt like the first time.
I just wanted us to arrive at our destination already. Once all of us were together, it would vanish.
I knew this much and still it felt like it would never stop.
"You don't have to be nervous," Sophie reassured, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder from her place in the backseat. "I'm sure everything will go well."
I sighed, but nodded. I knew she meant well, but it did nothing to diminish the painful racing of my heart in my chest or the ache in my abdomen.
The tension in my body slowly left me as we rolled to a stop in the parking lot. I felt lighter.
And ten minutes later we were all sitting at a table at TGI Friday's, well all except for my boyfriend.
"Hey, Lizzy, where's Romeo?" Liam asked, his arm resting comfortably on the back of the chair of his date and soon to be girlfriend, Holly. I was a damn great matchmaker.
I frowned and looked at my phone. "I don't know, he should be-" I cut myself off when I looked up and laid my eyes on Sam. He smiled when our gazes locked as he hurried to our table. In five long strides he arrived. He was sporting dark jeans and a fitted white v-neck under his black leather jacket, topping it off with a pair of Nikes.
"Hey, sorry I'm late, guys," he apologized before rounding the table and heading for my seat. I stood up, grinning. "Hey."
"Hey, babe," he said before he leaned down and kissed me swiftly.
Since he was the last to arrive the only chair left unoccupied was across from me. The both of us settled down before Sam glanced at Ryan sitting to my right.
Right, I should introduce them.
"Um, Sam, this is Sophie." I gestured to the girl sitting two chairs along. She smiled and waved at him. He offered a small smile as well. "And this is Ryan." I motioned at her brother. For a minute, the two of them had a stare down before they nodded at each other and I sighed in relief.
Sam's eyes narrowed as his gaze was settled on my shoulders. Frowning, I looked down and realized that he was glaring at the arm Ryan had positioned on the back of my chair.
I felt weird. Obviously, Sam wasn't a fan of Ryan's behavior, but I didn't want to push his arm away that would just make things weirder. Besides, I didn't want to be overreacting and, to be honest, I didn't want to see Ryan's expression morph into one of rejection.
Not knowing what to do, I looked at Logan pleadingly who was sitting beside Sam. My best friend cleared his throat. Their gazes turned to him. "Liz, why don't we change sea-"
"Hey, Liz," Logan was interrupted by Drake speaking over his voice.
Drake received our whole attention. "Yes?"
"How's Jo doing, haven't heard from her in ages?"
I smiled at his question. "Good, yeah, we just recently had a skype call."
Jack pouted. "You guys have got to stop excluding us from your conversations."
"Dude," Jeremy intervened. "Do we even want to know what they are talking about?"
Tony shrugged. "Probably girl stuff."
"Eww." Jack looked absolutely horrified. "Like boys and tampons?"
All of the guys shuddered. A minute went by before all five of us girls broke out in fits of laughter. I rolled my eyes at them.
I would never understand why guys were so uncomfortable whenever the word 'period' was mentioned.
"Yeah, mhm," I said slowly. "You hit the nail right on the head, Jack." I rolled my eyes. The girls sniggered in silent understanding. The boys totally oblivious.
However, it went on like this, whenever Logan made the attempt to ask me to change seats with him one of my friends interrupted and asked me a question. Once we finally got our food and everyone's focus was drawn to their plates I shook my head, signaling to Logan that he shouldn't bother anymore.
Throughout dinner light conversation was exchanged. Sam managed to connect with some of my friends and had his fun with Jack and especially Logan when they told my boyfriend some stories of when we were younger. This is the best friends equivalent to your mom showing your boyfriend baby pictures.
When the food was gone as well as our plates and some of the others were waiting for their ordered desserts Ryan's arm was back on my chair.
He leaned forward, his mouth close to my ear as he ran one hand down the buttons of my open black and white plaid blouse.
I tensed, eyes wide. What was he doing?
"You look dazzling tonight," he said loud enough for literally everyone to hear. My outfit consisted of black ripped jeans, a white tank top underneath a black and white plaid blouse and my black combat boots.
My eyes were on Sam as his expression hardened. Shit!
I was beginning to panic.
"Thanks." My reply was rigid, stiff without much meaning in hope Sam would catch it.
I wanted them to meet to show Sam that he didn't need to worry about Ryan, but the latter was making this significantly hard.
Under the table, my feet moved forward until they were in between Sam's, the outside of my legs brushing against the inside of his'. Instantly, his features softened and a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. In silent understanding, he reached out and placed his hand palm-up on the middle of the table. I beamed at him as I happily accepted the offer and put my hand in his'.
I was too concentrated on the way his rough thumb ran over my knuckles to notice anything else until the desserts arrived. "Homecoming's next week."
I froze. Thank you, Fran, for reminding me. I suppressed the urge to shoot daggers at Tony's girlfriend as Sophie, Courtney and Holly jumped into the talk. Oh hell to the no!
"Liz, have you asked Sam yet?" Court asked me.
My boyfriend's hand halted in its track, spoon in mid-air, as the others turned to look at us. His eyes flickered up to mine.
"Uh." Unconsciously, my hand reached out and rubbed the back of my neck. "I didn't really plan to go." I looked at him sheepishly.
His shoulders lost their tension.
The corner of my lips curved upwards in a half smile. "You good with that?"
He shrugged and admitted with a sheepish smile, "I can't dance."
I laughed. "Me neither." His smiled brightened. "Good, then it's settled." We won't go. Thank you, God!
Sam, still smiling brightly, scooped up some of his fudge brownie, topped with ice cream and caramel sauce, and pushing his plate closer to me, offered me the spoon.
I shook my head, eyes crinkling at the corners because of my wide smile, and rolled my eyes. However, a second later I complied. I watched him as he placed the sweet goodness in my mouth, his face twisted adorably in concentration which had me holding back a giggle.
"Aww." I heard Fran say. "You two are so sweet together I might have to schedule an appointment with my dentist."
I snorted, shaking my head as some laughed, others just stared at her. Tony shook his head at his girlfriend. She turned to him, puzzled. "What?"
He slung his arm around her shoulders and rested his hand on her head as he pressed her face into his chest. "Shhh, babe, shhh."
I laughed with a few others.
I'd missed my friends dearly even though I saw them every day.
"Shit."
My gaze was drawn to my boyfriend. He was frowning down at his phone before looking up at me. "I need to go. My mom just texted, she needs me to watch Simon for the night. Something came up." He pulled out his wallet, grumbling. "I'm really sorry, Liz."
"Don't worry about it," I said as he left some bills on the table before he stood up. I mirrored his actions. "Guys, Sam has a family emergency," I announced before he said goodbye to my friends.
"Walk me to my car?" he asked me.
I nodded and told my friends I'd be right back before following him outside, our hands interlocked. When we approached his truck I spoke, "So, what-"
I was silenced as his lips crashed down on mine. I kissed him back, my hands finding their way to the back of his neck. A gasp tore from my throat as he grabbed me by the waist and sat me down ontop the hood of his car. Taking advantage of my surprise, he took the chance and deepened the kiss. I moaned quietly. He tasted of chocolate and I was sure I tasted the same.
After having hooked my legs into the space between his', he caressed my thighs as I stroked the hair at the back of his head, my fingers weaving through the soft strands gently. His chocolaty taste overwhelmed both my senses and my body function. My heart was racing in my chest, warming me up.
Catcalls and hollering broke through my haze. I pulled back. When I opened my eyes I wanted to shut them again as I took in the scene before me.
The only reason I'd allowed the heated kiss was, because of the empty parking lot. Which wasn't so empty anymore if you asked me.
Jensen, Shaun, Tyler and a few others of his buddies from school were standing on the sidewalk of the restaurant, directly across from us. I blushed profusely as they yelled some inappropriate stuff our way.
"You go, girl!" Shaun.
"Ooh, I wanna be next!" Jensen raised his hand.
Sam's body tensed under my touch. "Listen here, fucker-"
Not knowing how else to calm him, I leaned over and pressed a swift kiss to his lips. His posture relaxed as the idiots behind him commented my action like before. "Oh, Liz, I didn't know you were-"
"Eugene Nicholas Jensen!" I yelled across the parking lot, earning me a dirty look from him. "Would you and your buddies kindly fuck off so I can kiss my boyfriend goodbye?!" Sam was looking up at me, lips curved into a bright smile.
They were silent and I didn't wait for a reply before Sam was tilting my chin down to meet him. Just before he kissed me he smiled and said, "Elizabeth Graham, where have you been all my life?"
\\\\\
Since Sam couldn't go with us I was dateless at a party. Nothing new. However, I decided not to dwell on it and make the most of the night. Besides, I still had my friends. And nothing and no-one was more important than my friends.
Our group was currently situated in the kitchen to get some drinks. I was the only one, besides Logan, Sophie and Nick who were the designated drivers, not drinking alcohol. Surprise, surprise!
It wasn't that I didn't like alcohol, well that too, but since I rarely drank a drop of poison I wasn't used to it and most probably a lightweight. That aside, after a glass of the liquid my brain usually decided to be overdramatic and paranoid and talked me into believing that I was drunk and that always made me panic. So, nope, alcohol was not good for the struggles I endured with my fears.
It would usually end with me being my worried self, feeling nauseous and out of breath. So, getting even just slightly intoxicated was negatively affecting my mental health. What a shocker, right?
Back then, when I'd first consented to Ryan's deal and he spiked my drinks, I wasn't aware that I was drinking alcohol neither did I taste it which, I guessed, meant that he put the minimal amount of liquor in it for that exact reason. However, my being oblivious to the booze in my system was probably the reason why I hadn't freaked out.
I was sipping on my soda when my eyes suddenly widened. Miles was coming my way and instantly I remembered that I forgot to talk to him this week. "Hey, Liz," he greeted me casually before turning to the fridge next to where I was standing, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Hey."
He opened the fridge with his right hand and when he reached inside to look for something with the other one, my breath got locked in my throat. My mouth was dry as I tried to swallow.
There.
Right there on his left hand.
Scars. Self inflicted scars.
They were light, barely visible to the eye, but if you looked hard enough or if, like in this case, the lighting was bright you could see them. Every single person on this planet had secrets. And the fluorescent lights of the fridge just exposed Miles secret to me.
I tried to prevent my face from showing any visible changes in my demeanor, in my feelings. Miles was still the same person to me, I didn't think badly of him, because of this knowledge. I just didn't know what to make of the situation and the urge to help him was setting in.
"How are you doing?" I asked casually, taking a sip of my drink.
He closed the fridge after helping himself to a Coke light. "Good, you?" He nodded at me. I doubted that he was telling me the truth, but maybe he was, I mean, you never know for sure how a person really feels. And who knows, maybe in this moment he was feeling good.
"Same here."
He cracked a smile before he took a sip of his soda. His smile comforted me and the corners of my lips wanted up as well.
"Ooh, Liz!" Fran and Sophie came running up to me and grabbed my arms, a delighted Holly in tow.
"What?" I asked, eyes wide as they shook the arm that was currently holding my drink. With my luck I would spill liquid on me if they kept it up.
"We gonna go dance!" Sophie exclaimed.
"And you are coming with us," Fran declared.
Miles laughed at my expression. All my facial muscles were twisted into a grimace.
"We won't take no for an answer," Fran warned. "Come on, you know me, Liz."
I sighed. Damn it, I did. If I said no and fought her she would just drag me onto the dance floor kicking and screaming. "Fine."
"Really?" All of them, including Miles asked.
I shrugged, frowning at them. "Yeah, why not, my goal for the night is to let loose and have fun. So, why not try dancing even when I will make a complete fool out of myself."
"No, you won't," Fran tried to reassure me. "You'll be fine."
Before I could change my mind they were both dragging me out of the room. "Court!" Fran informed her. "We gonna go dancing, you coming?!" she yelled over her shoulder.
"Wait, Liz is coming too?" Courtney asked in disbelieve.
"Yep, she is!" I answered over my shoulder, feeling like a prisoner being guided into a cell.
She squealed. "I have to see that." She kissed Nick goodbye. "Bye, babe."
And minutes later we, including me, were dancing our hearts out to songs we knew like the back of our hands. The music was so loud nobody heard us when we started loudly singing the lyrics together with the singer.
I hated to admit it, but I was actually enjoying myself for once. I was constantly laughing as we danced in our little circle and my chest felt strangely light.
I was happy.
I was happy to the point where I didn't care what others thought of my dance moves.
I was so happy I didn't care at all.
I was so happy I could have cried.
Slowly, our group of five was decreasing song for song until Sophie and I were the last standing. "Liz, I'm gonna go sit down somewhere my shoes are killing me, you coming?"
I nodded. I could go for a drink, my throat was really dry and I was sweaty. By now, I had secured my plaid blouse around my hips so I was only in my simple white tank top.
We rested for a while, drinking and trying to chat over the loud ass music blasting through the house. After ten minutes of unsuccessfully trying to understand one another we took our own little party to the back porch. A handful of our friends joined us, Ryan among them.
I frowned when I saw him. He was gulping down one drink after the other. He was sitting next to me, his arm on the back of my seat, upper body leaning into me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath every time he said something.
It worried me a little, but I didn't want to be a party pooper and say something. I didn't want to ruin the fun. Not this time.
"Hey, L, I just wanted to say although there was some tension at dinner tonight," Court said, shooting Ryan next to me a look. "Sam seems like a nice guy. I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks, Court." I smiled warmly at her, beyond thankful for her statement. I think she was actually the first one to say something positive and optimistic about my relationship and it felt good. It was relieving.
Next to me, Ryan groaned. "It's always Sam here and Sam there nowadays. Can't we just forget about him tonight. He caused enough tension at dinner." My eyes went wide. "I don't want to hear another word about that asshole tonight."
I stared at him in disbelieve. My heart clenched tightly in my chest. Did he just...? He just called my boyfriend an asshole. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. For a second, I was shocked into silence. Geez, I knew he wasn't particularly fond of Sam, but he had no right.
Sophie's eyes were wide as she stared at her cousin, our group having gone silent, their attention on me. "Ryan!" she hissed.
"What? It's the truth," he slurred.
I breathed deeply in and out, trying to control the overwhelming feelings threatening to overcome me. "Let me tell you something, buddy." Ryan's eyes widened in surprise when he turned to me as though he didn't know he just said all of that in my presence. "I know you're drunk, but that doesn't give you any right not to think clearly, Ryan, because, you know, it's your own fault that you are drunk."
I stood.
"Bee-"
"No, you know what, at least now I know what you really think." I turned around and walked away. Silence following in my wake. Before I turned the knob to enter the house again I heard Jeremy say to Ryan, "And you don't think you were the person causing tension at dinner."
I sighed deeply when I entered the house, shaking my head. I couldn't believe him. At least, now I knew the feeling between the two was mutual. Ryan was a jerk when he drank.
I was so caught up in my thoughts and feelings that I didn't pay attention to where I was going. Also, the reason why I crashed into someone's hard-as-a-brick-wall like chest. I stumbled back. "Whoa, there," I heard a familiar voice say.
When I looked up a scowl tugged at my lips. "Sorry," I muttered before I went to pass him.
He stepped in my way.
I glared at him, annoyed. Why did I have to run into him? "Jensen, I can't tolerate you right now. Let me-" When I tried to round him, he stepped in my way once more, blocking my path with outstretched hands. Seething with anger, I took a deep breath.
The moment he opened his mouth I was positive he was wasted. "Not so fast, Lizzy. You performed quite the show tonight at the parking lot." I froze in my place at the mentioning of kissing Sam. "Didn't think you had it in you-"
"Okay, if that's all y-"
"It's quite selfish, don't you think?"
I quirked an eyebrow. Where was he going with this? "What is?"
"That the boy is getting all the fun." He took a step closer to me. I frowned, looking at the barely there space between us. "Keeping you all to himself."
I took a step back. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to say, but I-"
He took another step closer, crossing the space between us once more. "I'm saying I want a little taste for myself." My eyes widened as he cupped both sides of my face in his hands, leaning in. My heart was beating frantically in my chest, my stomach in knots. Before he could kiss me, I swatted at his hands and successfully pulled out of his grip.
A minute after, a hand landed on Jensen's shoulder, distancing him from me. My shoulders slumped down in relief as Miles stepped in between us. My heart was beating so hard in my chest I was growing nauseous. "Fuck off, Jensen. Try your luck with someone who's actually willing to endure you."
Jensen looked at him then shrugged and walked off.
I sighed when he was gone. Miles turned to me. "You okay?"
I nodded, but I could barely hold myself together and I was sure it showed on my face as clear as day. My whole body was enveloped in tension as I hugged myself, seeking comfort. Miles frowned and grabbed my hand. "Come on."
I didn't ask where we were going. I trusted Miles. More than anybody else at the moment. He guided me upstairs and to a close to vacant hallway. He stopped when we were at the furthest corner, away from the few couples that were making out against the wall.
I backed myself into the corner while his side rested against the wall to my right, standing in front of me. He just looked at me, waiting.
I closed my eyes shut as I let out a shaky breath. I was still shaken by everything that happened in the last fifteen minutes. When I opened my eyes I spoke, "Can you give me a hug?" He continued to look at me, eyes running over my features. I sighed. "It's just... Ryan upset me and Jensen upset me and I'm just-"
"Upset?"
I pressed my lips together as I felt the pressure in the back of my eyes, the tightness of my throat. I nodded.
He didn't need any further explanation. He pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back, clutching his back.
After a while, I started to calm down. "Thank you," I said quietly, shame somewhat filtering through my voice.
"Sure."
I pulled away and wiped at my face. I took a deep breath.
"You want a drink?"
I nodded and we made our way to the kitchen. Despite my brain urging me on to drink something alcoholic I knew better and, not wanting to worsen the situation any further, I opted for water.
For a moment, I watched the people dancing and a feeling of longing overcame me. My heart squeezed in my chest. Just an hour ago I was so happy with the way things were and now...this.
I turned to Miles. "You wanna dance?"
Who's to say I couldn't go back to how things were? Maybe it wouldn't be the same, but I'd be damned if I won't try.
He looked at me in surprise before nodding. "Sure."
I smiled at him before we went to the dancefloor. At first it was a little stiff and awkward, but I tried my best to push all the other things to the back of my mind and listen to the music. It wasn't long before we were laughing and singing to the songs. Occasionally, Miles would twirl me around and I would crash into someone which just made us laugh.
Sometimes, instead of asking someone if they were okay when you knew they weren't, cheering them up was a better way to express your affection.
You could only hope that they appreciated the gesture.
And somehow, I knew Miles did.
"Are you happy!?" Miles asked me, yelling over the loud ass music so I could hear.
"Yes!" I yelled in delight, a huge smile on my face.
He grinned. "Me too!"
I just smiled at him and grabbed his hand, gesturing for him to twirl. He just laughed, shaking his head. "Humour me!"
He continued to laugh, but twirled, slightly ducking seeing as I was significantly smaller than him. We laughed hard at his attempt.
Suddenly, Fran was at our sides, fighting her way through the moving bodies. "Liz!"
"Hey!" I said loudly, beaming at her. I was glad to see her. "Dance with us?"
She shook her head, looking serious but kind of amused. "You need to see this!"
I gave her a confused look. See what?
She grabbed my hand and tugged me away, already fighting her way through the crowd. Before I could lose Miles in the throng of people I latched onto his hand, pulling him with us. Fran guided us away from the music and to a more secluded room of the house. Somewhere in the distance I heard my name being called. Miles and I exchanged questioning looks. When we reached our destination I froze. We were in some kind of play room. A huge bar took up half of the room, there was a dart board fixated on one wall and a billiard table was pushed right into the middle of the room. Smoke wafted through the air and I instantly realized that they weren't just smoking cigarettes in here, at least not according to the smell. I didn't want to find out what other kind of illegal stuff they were consuming in these four walls.
All of that wasn't what had me rooted to my place though. No, right there on the billiard table stood a wasted and probably also stoned Ryan, drink in hand. That was quite irrelevant to the words coming out of his mouth though.
"Life is Liz!"
"What the fuck?" Miles muttered beside me. I could only agree with him on that one as the stoned audience of his' repeated the words in a chant. What in the world did that phrase even mean?
"Oh, hey, guys," Sophie greeted as she appeared next to us, phone in hand as though she was recording all of this nonsense. Jeremy was with her and stepped closer to us.
"What is going on?" Miles asked. I was grateful that he voiced the question since I was speechless, I couldn't comprehend what was happening.
Just as Jere opened his mouth Ryan noticed me in the back of the crowd. His eyes were fixed on my face as he pointed in our direction. "There she is!" He waved his hand, gesturing for me to join him. "Liz, come on up here!"
The people around me all cheered. Most were too far gone to even recognize his words. However, some turned around and looked at me.
"Oh my God," I mumbled. I was sure my expression gave away how horrified I was.
"Oh, this is getting better by the second," Sophie said as she turned her phone to me. I glared at her.
"Liz, I'm sorry!" On stage, Ryan was sporting a pout as well as sad puppy dog eyes. I'd never seen him look this desperate, this young before. "Please, forgive me. I'm an idiot alright? I should have shut my mouth. I realize that now."
My eyes were so wide in disbelief and mortification I was sure they would pop out of their sockets any moment. "Get him down there."
The next moment, Miles and Jeremy jumped into action, fighting their way to the front.
"It's not my fault I'm fucked up, Baby Bee," he whined. Baby Bee? That was new. "I get that I shouldn't have called your asshole boyfriend an asshole in front of you, but- shit," he cursed, muttering to himself. "I just did it again, didn't I?" He wasn't making the situation any better. "It's just that I care for you and you deserve better than that prick. I'm pretty sure he's bad news, but it could be the jealousy talking, because I lov-"
Fortunately, before another word could leave his mouth my two friends pushed him off of the makeshift stage. Few of his audience protested by booing, some cheered not fully comprehending what was going on.
I sighed and rubbed at my face. This night was getting better and better. "I can't believe this," I muttered to myself as Sophie pocketed her phone.
"Oh, come on," Fran butted in. "He's kinda cute. Drunk cute, but still cute."
I didn't answer.
As soon as the three of them were in sight Ryan's face lit up upon seeing me. He rushed to me. "Baby Bee." And engulfed me in a bear hug.
I patted him on the back, already wishing he would let me go. The smell that was clinging to him was giving me a headache.
He stumbled slightly when he pulled away, but he didn't seem to mind all that much as he beamed down at me, wrapping his hands around my shoulders.
"Whoa, there, Johnson," Miles said after he stumbled into him and pushed him back upright.
Ryan's gaze didn't leave my face. It was slightly creeping me out, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.
"Okay, Ryan, the party's over for you."
"But, Bee-"
I shot him a look that shut him up quickly, looking guilty as he hung his head like a little boy. I sighed before asking our group, "Who's his driver?"
Sophie raised her hand. "That'd be me."
I sighed again, suddenly, feeling very exhausted. "Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll drive with you, help you get him safely into his bed and then you'll drive me home."
"But," she said. "Wouldn't it be easier if you just took the car? I could come get it tomorrow."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "No, Sophie, that's not possible."
She frowned. "Why not?"
"Because I can't drive," I snapped at her. She shut her mouth fairly quickly. I sighed again, regretting my harshness. My inability to drive was just not something I desired to discuss. I hated that I had to explain myself.
Ryan frowned at his sister. "Look what you did, Soph, you got my Baby Bee upset." He slung an arm around my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger and trying to breathe deeply in and out. Somehow taming my temper.
"Okay." I sighed and looked up. "Let's go."
In a matter of twenty minutes, we managed to exit the house and enter their car. Sophie was behind the steering wheel. I'd decided to get in the back with Ryan to watch out for him. The guy in question was comfortably taking up most of the space as he was lying with his head in my lap.
He sighed as I reached out and brushed his hair away from his forehead. A question crossed my mind and I had to ask him now otherwise he might not be able to answer me. "Ryan?"
He hummed. "Yes, Baby Bee?"
I rolled my eyes but smiled despite myself. Ryan and his nicknames. "What did you mean when you said Life is Liz?"
His eyes, that had been shut for the majority of the ride, opened. Staring up at me in fascination, he spoke and when he did I wondered if he'd only pretended to be drunk, because he sounded as sober as I was, "It means what it means. It means that although life can be sad, feisty, fearful or lonely there's more to it than what meets the eye. If you dig deeper you can find elation, selflessness, bravery and security. It means, Elizabeth, that although life can fuck you up sometimes, it's still so damn beautiful."
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Hey guys
I actually didn't think it would take me this long to update, but this chapter is hella long. Lol. So, yeah. I missed all the guys and Liz' friends. They're so fun to write.
Also, Ryan called Sam an asshole in front of Liz... twice. Ouch. And the title reveal/explanation or whatever is finally out.
What do you think?
Please comment/vote?
Hugs and kisses
Kathy