IKAAPAT
"Gusto kong ayusing ninyo ang pagsasama ninyo ni Xander."
And I swear, I felt my jaw dropped upon hearing that.
"Tell me you're joking." I asked him. Ayaw ko na nakikipag away kay Dad. Maybe this is his way of welcoming me back. Baka nagjojoke siya.Dad shook his head and eyed me.
"Nakita mo na ba akong nagbiro Savannah?"
"Then why in the hell would you say something as crazy as that Dad!!" I shouted. Dad glared at me at sinabuyan niya ako ng tubig sa mukha. Mama stood and pulled Dad's arms.
"You are an Andrade. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng iba kung itinatapon mo na lang ng ganito ang kasal mo kay Alexander?!"
"No! Wala akong pakialam sa ibang tao! Wala akong pakialam sa kahit na kanino! I will never be with that guy ever again! Bakit ba ipinipilit pa ninyo? Is this your reason for sending me here again?"
"Oo. Sabina is gone and you are away from your husband. Wala na ba kayong ibang alam gawing magkapatid other than to be a great disappointment?" Dad bitterly said. I gasped and held on tightly to my sanity.
"Don't you ever dare compare me to that daughter of yours. She was the reason I lost everything Dad! Wala kasi kayong alam pero ang lakas na ng loob ninyo na ipilit ang gusto ninyo? How could you? Who could you make me stay with this bastard again?"
"Iha, you have to make your--" Mama Alessa said, but my mom cut her off.
"Samuel. Tama na. Hayaan mo muna si Savannah." I looked at her and she just smiled. Dad just looked at Mom. Lalapit sana ito ng harangan siya ni Lolo.
"Sit down Samuel." Lolo told Dad and looked at me.
"Listen well, Savannah Mikaella. You have been away for seven years and left your responsibilities as a wife of Xander and we let you out of that. We respected that you were hurt and that you needed time to heal. Pero sapat na ang pitong taon na paghihintay namin sayo. You will have to make this marriage work whether you like it or not. Understood?" Lolo Samson authoritatived voice boomed on the dining area. I shook my head and looked at Xander who was looking at me intently.
"Ito ba ang gusto mo?" I asked him. Nanatili lang siyang nakatitig sa akin. His eyes were unreadable. He shook his head and held my wrist. He dragged me at binuhat niya ako na parang sako.
Hindi ko na alam kung saan niya ako dinadala. All I could see are smiles from my parents and grandparents faces.
"Damn you!! Put me down!!" I kicked as hard as I can. I even pulled his hair and bit his shoulders so that he will let me go.
"Stop it Van! You might fall!" pagsuway niya sa akin. But I tried even harder to free myself. Sigaw lang ako ng sigaw para bitawan niya ako but he remained deaf.
" You monster!! Manipulative jerk!! I hate you!! I really, really hate you!!" I shouted. Naluluha na ako sa sobrang galit na nararamdaman sa kanya.
Bigla niya akong ipinasok sa kung saan at ibinagsak niya ako sa sofa. Before I could even stand, he immediately went on top of me and pinned my arms.
"Get off me!!" I wriggled my arms away. Napapikit naman siya and pressed his body more to mine. Nanlaki naman ang mata ko when I felt 'him' coming into life.
"Xander?" panicked was laced on my voice. He put his forehead against mine.
"God, I missed you so much Vannah." He said, almost sobbing. I remained silent for a while.
"Let me go Xander."
His grip tightened. He shook his head and buried his face on my neck.
"I can't. Savannah, hindi ko kaya. I can't let you go."
I exhaled. Man, this is so frustrating.
"Xander, please. Ayaw ko na. Pagod na ako sayo. Pagod na ako sa lahat ng ito. Just, let me go."
He looked at me wide eyed.
"No Savannah! No! Hindi ka pwedeng mapagod. Hindi! Hindi ka pwedeng umalis. I can't bear another day without you, mababaliw na ako. Please, just don't leave me."
I saw a tear came from his eyes. Napapikit naman ako.
No Savannah. Wag kang magpaloko. Wag mo ng ulitin ang pagkakamali mo seven years ago.
"Savannah.." he called. Tinitigan ko lang siya. I tried to push him with all my might at nagtagumpay ako. I sat there while he was trying to reach me.
"Stop it Xander! Ano bang mahirap intindihin sa ayaw ko na!"
He was taken aback with what I said. He turned pale at parang walang lakas niyang ibinaba ang kamay niya.
" I'm sorry. For everything that I said to you--"
I cut him off saka ako tumayo na.
"No. Wag kang humingi ng tawad. I understand. Naiintindihan ko Xander." My voice broke kaya tumigil muna ako. Huminga ako ng malalim as I felt the same pain coming back into life." I perfectly understood all the things that you said that night."
"Savannah.."
"Alam ko, alam ko na kaya mo ako pinakasalan hindi dahil sa mahal mo ako. You married me because you're inlove with my twin right?"
"NO!!" he tried to hug me but I stepped back.
"Don't touch me."
"Savannah, please, let me explain." He pleaded but I just shook my head.
"Your explanation is seven years late Xander. Nasira na ang lahat and it is beyond repair." I shook my head and reached for the door. He grabbed my arms saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit.
" No. hindi ako susuko Savannah. I won't give you up without putting a goddamn fight! Tandaan mo, we're still married. You're still my wife."
Napatawa ako ng pagak when he said that. I pushed him away and looked at him straight into his eyes.
"I was never your wife Xander. I am just your substitute bride."
"Will you just please listen to me for just a fucking minute?!" sigaw niya sa akin. Sumandal ako sa pinto at tinitigan siya.
Nakipaglaban lang siya ng titigan sa akin. he stepped towards me then he he stepped backwards. He breathed heavily saka parang nanghihinang napaupo na lang.
"Why do you have to make everything so hard Van? Bakit? Masaya ka bang nakikita akong nahihirapan?"
I laughed at him. He looks so helpless now.
"Kulang pa yan, Xander. Kulang pa lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman mo sa sakit na ipinaranas mo sa akin noon."
He reached for me but I shrugged him away. I just stood there, looking at him with eyes that is full of anger and loath for him. Yes, loath. Dahil kulang pa ang salitang hate para i-describe ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
"I'm sorry. Sorry, talaga Savannah. For everything." Umiyak na siya at dahan dahang yumuko para itago ang mga luha niya. Nilapitan ko siya, umupo ako sa harap niya at pilit kong hinuli ang mga mata niya.
"Will your sorry bring my child back into life Xander?" I asked him. His head rose violently at mukhang nabigla siya sa sinabi ko.
"Savannah--"
"Ayos lang sa akin Xander, kahit ilang beses mo akong saktan noon. Mahal kita eh. Kaya nga nagtitiis ako para sayo. Para sa relasyon natin. Kinaya ko when you threw me out of this house.." I looked around the room. Naaalala ko ang lahat. Naaalala ko ang gabing iyon. I breathed hard ng maramdaman kong tutulo na ang luha ko." When you threw me out, and chose Sabina over me. But the fact, that you kicked me out when I told you I was pregnant with your child? When you pushed me away and just let that raging car hit me? When you told me that you will not accept any child if it is not from Sabina? Well, Xander, that was the last straw. At kahit na ano pang gawin mo. Kahit lumuha ka pa ng dugo, hinding hindi ko na papatawarin ang isang mamamatay tao na katulad mo."
He cried violently and started shaking. Tumayo na ako and opened the door. Iniwan ko na siyang umiiyak sa loob. I walked away at kinuha ko na ang pouch ko. Nagpaalam na ako sa matatanda and they all eyed me, curious of how the conversation between their beloved Xander and his prodigal wife came about.
"Savannah please, please..give me another chance." Narinig kong humabol si Xander sa akin. Tinitigan ko siya.
"I am sorry about the baby.. I am sorry." He said. Tumakbo na siya and walked past my Dad and my Grandfather.
"Nawalan din ako Vannah. Anak ko rin siya. And the mere fact that it is I who pushed you that night made me feel a lot worse--"
Anak? Tinuring niyang anak ang mga anak ko? Sinong niloloko niya?
"Shut up." I looked at him. Everybody started leaving to give us privacy.
"Do you really want me to forgive you?"
His face shone with hope and happiness. Unti unti siyang lumapit sa akin and hugged me.
"What is it? Tell me, love. Kahit ano, gagawin ko mapatawad mo lang ako."
I smiled.
"Bring back my baby Alexander. Bring him back to life. Kapag nagawa mo iyon, mapapatawad na kita."
Bigla niya akong binitiwan at namumutla niya akong tinitigan.
"But Savannah, that is impossible--"
I smiled bitterly.
"Impossible? So, I could conclude that my forgiveness is also impossible for you. Sorry about that, Xander."
I turned around and walked away. No. It is impossible now. I have been hurt before. He threw me when I needed him the most. I will never forgive him for choosing my cheating sister over me. never again.
*pen <3