"Mary!" Dean shouted "Breakfast's ready, come on!" he said loud enough, hoping the little girl was going to hear him.
"Yes daddy!" she said in her childlike voice as she ran down the stairs. Her brown curls were bouncing as her green eyes sparkled with happiness the moment she spotted the food that lay on the table.
"Pie!" she exclaimed and the man chuckled at the girl.
"Yes princess!" he placed the last pancake on the place and put the frying pan away. He leaned down and picked her up, giving her a big kiss on the cheek as the little girl giggled at him.
"And it's your favorite!" he said with a big grin and she squealed.
"Apple pie!"
"-Which you are not going to have for breakfast." you said with a strict – but loving – mom look.
"What?" she pouted "Why?"
"Sweetheart." you said softly, taking her from Dean's arms "Pie is not right for breakfast and you know it. We've said you can have pie whenever you want to- as a treat. You will have to eat your meal first." you said, tucking a few brown curls behind her ear.
"But daddy eats pie all the time- even for breakfast and you let him. Why can't I?" the four-year-old gave you those puppy eyes that could actually do you anything they wanted.
"Yeah well daddy-" you glared at the grinning man "-doesn't have the most healthy diet in the world. But he's trying... I hope. Why don't we show him what's right huh?"
She gave you that cheeky smile "Yes mommy!" she exclaimed and you laughed, kissing her forehead.
"That's my girl. Now eat your breakfast and then you can probably get a slice of pie, yeah?"
"Yes!" she nodded her head enthusiastically. You placed her down on her seat and helped her with her eggs and toasted bread.
"I dont if I should be offended or not." Dean mumbled with a small smirk and you looked at him, giggling.
"Well, I am being honest." you shrugged throwing your arms around his neck.
"Excuse me?" his eyebrows shot up "I thought you liked my messy eating." he gave you a hurt look and you chuckled.
"I don't like it." you rested your forehead against his "I love it." you breathed out and leaned in to press your lips to his. Dean grinned into the kiss and cupped your face, kissing you even more.
"Hey- hey-" you pushed him slightly away, glancing at the little kid as she happily ate on her breakfast "Not here. Not now." you shook your head.
"Then how about later?" he whispered in your ear and you giggled when he pecked your neck and then peppered butterfly kisses all over your jaw and shoulder.
"Easy tiger." you grinned at the man "Wasn't last night enough?" you asked and he paused for a moment, thinking.
"Nope" and he peppered kisses all over your lips.
You giggled "And to think that 8 rounds would have been enough." you scoffed and he grinned innocently.
"Was it 8 really?" he made a cute frowny face.
"Don't know- I lost count after 8, that's what I clearly remember." you chuckled and he did the same, kissing your lips fully once more.
"What 8 mommy?" Mary's voice was heard and you both pulled away, looking a the little girl. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of the water, giving a glare to the man when he chuckled at your reaction.
"It was... 8... chocolate chip cookies, sweetie. Mommy ate... 8 chocolate chip cookies last night, that's all." you stuttered, hitting Dean's shoulder when he snickered at your excuse "I'd like to see you try better." you mumbled to him and he chuckled.
"Are there any more?" she asked and you shook your head.
"No princess. But I'll make some more today for you, yeah?" you asked and she nodded her head happily.
"So mommy ate the cookies?" he whispered to you as you huffed, giving him a playful glare "Cause it seemed more like daddy ate something else last night." he winked at you and your eyes widened.
"Dean!" you shrieked, hitting his shoulder hard as he only laughed and kissed your cheek.
"Come on- you didn't really complain last night." he winked at you and you giggled, biting your lip.
You leaned and kissed his lips "Nor will I this evening when Mary will be at Jody's." you whispered against his lips, winking before pulling away. You went to sit in front f Mary, pouring some orange juice as Dean stared at you with wide eyes. A grin slowly started spreading on his face and you smirked at him.
"For real?" he breathed out and you chuckled, nodding your head as you ate on a pancake.
"We have the entire evening free." you said with a smile "Jody will return with Mary after at least four hours." you couldn't stop a laugh at his excited look.
"Damn you really waited till the last minute to tell me huh?" he said with a slightly low sexy growl and you laughed, shrugging as you helped and ever-so-clueless Mary with her small slice of pie.
"What can I say- I am a tease." you mumbled and he rolled his eyes with a grin.
"That you are." he kissed your forehead as he stood by your side "And that's why you're going to get what you deserve." he whispered in your ear and you shuddered slightly in his arms.
"Really?" you looked up in his arms "Cause I thought we'd be more- slow and lovin', like last night."
"When are we not?" he asked with an adoring grin, leaning down to give you a last peck on the lips before he sat down next to the younger girl and ate on his food as well.
You smiled softly as you watched the two of them interact. It was literally a sight for sore eyes and one you loved having the chance to see every single morning. The way they talked and laughed, the love at which she stared up at the man with and the love he stared at her with was just as warm as a summer sun, and the way she'd hug him. The way they played with each other and the way she laughed when he tickled her tummy, it was all you would ever wish for and luckily had it. She was total daddy's girl and Dean loved the little girl more than his own life. He was an amazing father, more so than you had ever thought, and he loved her so much that... you almost forgot he wasn't her father.
You almost forgot that the little girl would neer meet her real father. You almost forgot that her real father was gone. You almost forgot that there was no relation between these two when she called him 'dad' all the time. You almost forgot it when her first words were 'dad' for him. You almost forgot that she wasn't his when he cared about her, and you too, so much. You almost forgot that... he was actually her uncle.
Almost. But not entirely. Because, yes, you could probably forget it all when you watched them interact. You could probably forget it all when he had you in his arms and whispered how much he loved you and the family you two had together. You could probably forget it all when you watched him put her to sleep, singing 'Hey Jude' to her and her snuggling I her father's arms. But he wasn't her father, you reminded yourself. He was her uncle.
Brother of her true father. A father that was gone, died on the job trying to protect his unborn child and loved girlfriend. Only a flash of that fateful night was enough to remind you of everything and bring you back to the harsh reality. Dean was not the father of your child, he was her uncle. And maybe you could pretend but it was not the truth.
There had been endless nights that you spent wide awake, crying as you clutched your dead boyfriend's flannel to yourself. You had barely been eating at first, you didn't have the energy to even get up from bed, much less your shared bedroom. You wanted to drink but thanks to the pregnancy you found the idea of alcohol even more appaling. Dean had been locked in his room for the first few days too, not speaking and only drinking. He had come out of the room only once a day to make food for you and force you to eat only a little bit of it for the sake of your child. But he wouldn't say a single word then either.
You had both been void, the ache of losing the man you loved and him his brother was weighting on your shoulders. You would walk around the bunker like you were numb and whenever you found him drinking you'd feel slightly envious for how he could at least drink and even for a few hours either pass out and not think what was going on or at least stop feeling the hole in his heart that was brought by Sam's absence. You didn't have that opportunity unfortunately.
You had been going like that for over a month and when in the end you ended up at the hospital because of some complications with your pregnancy that's what it took for you to get a hold of yourself. You had a child to take care of, you couldn't be selfish and cry yourself to sleep – a sleep from which you'd wake up with nightmares – because Sam was gone. You decided you were going to take care of yourself just for your daughter's sake and slowly started going back to your old routine. Sort of.
Dean had started coming out of his room more often, wanting to make sure that you and the baby were alright. He had almost lost it when he found you passed out that morning in the map room so he had promised to himself that as long as it was up to him he wasn't going to let anything happen to you. You had slowly started getting closer, not that you weren't before that, but being only the two of you, and the baby, there was nothing else to do but comfort each other with your mere presence. After a while none of you mentioned it but you knew, when in the silence you shared a glance, that the big elephant in the room was Sam's death. And it was still in your minds.
But the nightmares got less and less after that, and when once in a while they came, Dean was instantly by your side; hugging you and comforting you before in the end you fell into a – surprisingly – peaceful sleep. When the months passed and Mary was born you no longer found yourself sleeping in your and Sam's bedroom. You went back to your old one and as much as you hated and loved to admit it you slept less and less in it and more and more in Dean's room.
It wasn't long after Dean had suggested you left the bunker for something more peaceful and... normal. He felt like this was no place for a child and you were going to give her the most normal but still safe life you could. So you had agreed, remembering Sam's wish for her to be out of the life like he had once wanted out.
And while helping you raise Mary, you didn't understand how it happened, but you and Dean got more close than ever. Your heart always ached for Sam, you always found yourself tearing up at the thought of the man you loved being gone, and you always missed him so much. Every time you stared into your daughter's eyes or helped her braid her hair you just remembered everything about Sam that had made you fall in love. You remembered all those moments you shared and always ended up fighting your tears.
Until one day those tears didn't hurt as much as before. And the hole in your heart, gosh you hated so much to admit it, was no longer there. And the reason had one name: Dean Winchester. It scared you so much to realize how you had started falling for the man. And the night you had shared that first kiss you didn't know if you wanted to feel guilty for not missing Sam that much anymore or... for the skip of your heart when Dean looked at you in the eyes.
You wanted to cry the following morning when you were alone and Dean had taken Mary to see Jody. But it was no longer because you missed Sam, the love of your life, but because... Sam was not the love of your life as it seemed. It scared you so much, and it was obvious that Dean was scared of these feelings as well. He no longer was just there to take care of you and your daughter because he was the only family you had left but because he wanted to... and he wanted to be the closest family you could have. For Mary a father and for you... well, yeah.
"Hey-" a hand waved in front of you face and you blinked several times, seeing the grin on the man's face "What are ya thinking?"
You breathed out a laugh, gosh the first time after Sam's death that you had laughed (thanks to Dean) you had been so shocked because you had actually meant it. You shook your head, staring at him lovingly.
"Nothing, just... stuff." you shrugged softly and he chuckled.
"Daydreaming much?" he smirked and you rolled your eyes.
"Shut up, Winchester." you grumbled, unable to fight the smile anyway.
"Are you sure?" a frown set on his face as he got serious and you smiled adoringly at him.
"Absolutely." you said softly and although he still seemed a little bit worried he let it slip, focusing his attention on the little girl.
You were not just scared of those new-found feelings but of the fact that this man was Sam's brother. He was your best friend, the uncle of your child, but at the same time... he was the man you had come to love more than your life.You thought it was you being a whore but nobody had blamed you for it, not even Jody. You knew you should move on, there was no coming back for Sam, and you had no reason anymore to fight those growing feelings for Dean. And maybe, it comforted you in a way, Sam would want it to.
You had a life now with Dean, one you dreamed to have with Sam, but even if things were like this... you wouldn't change it. Sam was your past, a past you reminisced and smiled at but- a past that was gone. Dean was your present and future and you wouldn't have it any other way.
~*~
"Are you sure it was nothing?" Dean whispered, wrapping his arms around in and you snuggled by his side on the couch.
"Dean" you sighed softly, shaking your head "It was nothing, really." you mumbled.
"You were thinking about him, weren't you?" he whispered after a small pause, catching on the unspoken words.
You let a small sigh, holding his gaze for a few minutes before in the end smiling reassuringly at him. You had always seen it and felt it. Dean was scared your heart still belonged to Sam, he was scared that the feelings that at first had scared him so much and made him feel unbearably guilty (you were his dead brother's girlfriend after all, was it even right in the first place?) were one-sided.
"Dean" you whispered before in the end smiled fully "I was only thinking of what has happened in the past few years, that's all."
"Is it?"
"Well- is Mary being born and you being an amazing father not enough?" you asked back and he sighed too, looking down at your hands.
"Dean" you cupped his face and tilted it up so that he could look at you "I love you." those word had been said not many times but even those few times were enough "You are the love of my life, that great one that makes you feel like a teen again and the one that has you thinking of what you will do when the two of you grow old together."
A smile played on his lips "You'll probably be so tired of my cranky ass you're gonna kick me out of the house." he mumbled with a laugh and you giggled.
You kissed his cheek "I fell in love with that cranky ass without realizing it- I don't think I will ever get tired of it." you smiled and he grinned.
"Oh we'll see that." he scoffed a laugh "The kids will have gotten so tired of us they-"
"The kids?" you asked, cutting him off with a raised eyebrow. He got flustered for a moment at his slip up and shrugged, giving you a sheepish smile. He shrugged in the end, acting all innocent.
"I mean- Mary will probably want a sister or brother at some point... right?"
"Right." you pursed your lips, acting serious "Because it's all about Mary. It's Mary that wants another baby... not you huh?"
"Maybe- I just- I might- there might be a chance- just slim- tiny- that I could possibly...want one too?" he asked in a slightly squeaky voice, fearing your response but you only giggled at him.
"You idiot" you mumbled, cupping his face and pressing your lips to his "Why do you think I stopped taking the pill all those months ago huh?" you smirked and his eyes widened "Much less mentioned the lack of condom." you added as he stared att you in shock.
"Really?" he breathed out and you chuckled.
"Really." you breathed out and a squeal left your lips when he crashed his lips to yours. You giggled into his lips as he kissed you hungrily but still lovingly. You kissed back as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. You felt him grin into the kiss when you bit down on his lip, letting a small growl that made him chuckle.
But just as his hand moved under your shirt you heard the doorbell ring. Dean groaned in frustration and you laughed at the expression on his face when you pulled away. He huffed and pouted like a little child as he fell on the couch.
"I'll go get that." you pecked his lips and got up from the couch.
Dean placed a hand over his eyes and let a smile of bliss rest on his face. He bit his lip as his hand ran down to his jeans' pocket. His fingers played with the small velvet box as he grinned to himself like a little kid. The hope of you saying yes to his proposal getting bigger with each passing moment. After all: you already wanted to have his kids, right?
"I'm coming!" you shouted as you padded towards the door. The doorbell rang more and you hurried.You took hold of the doorhandle, the door swinging open.
But the moment you looked up and locked eyes with the person your smile fell and your heart stopped beating for a second. The person smiled at you, tired, but still his eyes sparkled with the same kind of love you were used to seeing. Only you had not seen, in those eyes, for many years.
"Sam"