He was so going to end up dead, he was sure of it.
Well, there was a chance that you'll laugh about it in the end but still, he really can't help but let his mind delve into the possible outcomes of this current situation he was in.
Alright, hold your horses. Kuroo is most definitely not committing any crime of the sorts (why would he though?) It may seem like it since he was most certainly, deathly afraid of you when angered. However, it was completely the opposite of what he was doing.
As per usual, he was being a nosy little shit; and no, not the "I'm gonna looks through your journal or diary to use it for blackmail purposes" but more like the "I'm snooping around your stuff to prove a point" because he was very curious about why you had the said stuff lurking around your room.
It was an accidental discovery really. He didn't mean to let himself actually get pulled in deep into his curiosity but it intrigued him so much that he had to investigate the entire house to settle his suspicions.
The reason why he ended up in this circumstance in the first place was when he decided to borrow your hair dryer from your room. But seeing you weren't exactly home at the moment — you said something about going to this Korean general merchandise store that had just opened today — so he did what every roommate did when they are in need of something of which they don't posses, he barged into your room like it was his.
Well, you did share the apartment so... sharing is caring?
Going back, he had successfully retrieved the dryer from the drawer in your vanity table. As he turned around to leave the room and leave no evidence of him being in there — he'll make sure to return the dryer safe and sound like it hasn't been meddled with — he paused from his steps when he found a pair of boxer briefs just in front of his toes.
The article of clothing — to which he picked up with no hesitation — most certainly did not belong to him. They were smaller than his and there is no way you owned these. Unless... you brought a hook-up (*cough* Sugawara *cough*) home last night?
He shakes his head at the thought.
Nah, that wouldn't be possible. You literally fell right to sleep when you came home. Apparently you had a very grueling practice since competitions are approaching, and he heard that your leader is quite the perfectionist so it was crucial to give your best whenever you practiced with your group.
Again, these weren't his. He knew for a fact that you indeed steal some of his clothes from time to time but he didn't really think that you'd be the type to steal his boxers of all things.
Then again, the boxers had alien heads on them, and there was only one person who would actually wear those kind of underwear.
Were you actually an underwear stealer? Or Kuroo's mind isn't really able to process anymore possible reasons at the moment? Huh, probably the former reason — you were a professional underwear stealer.
He narrows his eyes and let's the offending cloth fall from his grasp and onto the floor, not really in the mood to actually investigate it, leaving the room swiftly so he could blow-dry his hair in the shared bathroom.
——————
Looks good.
He thinks, long fingers combing through his thick, messy dark locks as he observes himself in the mirror — actually, it still looked the same, only his hair was a tad bit fluffier from the usual as it was shiny too — giving himself a smolder because he knows he was good-looking.
Yeah, you can pretty much tell he loves himself a little too much, but that doesn't beat the love he has for you.
Speaking of you, his wonderful roommate who's been gone for hours now, had texted that you might be a little late for dinner so you had offered to buy pizza — he so did not pout when you mentioned you were with Akaashi, again — and he agreed at an instant. There were two reasons why, one, free pizza which equals to two of the best words to hear together and two, did he mention that his beautiful roommate will be bringing him free food? Wife material really.
Wife?
He blushes, "Honestly, Tetsurou. What the fuck." He grumbles, scowling at his own reflection — more so on the red trail starting from his cheeks to the tip of his nose.
The effect you had on him was ridiculous really. It's funny how he can act all calm and collected whenever you were around but he acts like a total school-girl with a huge crush when he was alone.
His mental turmoil halted when his eyes landed on a peculiar razor resting idly on the counter sink and again, that wasn't his. His razor was definitely another brand, far too different from the one he just laid eyes on. He doesn't even remember if he bought this on accident.
He huffs.
What in the world is going on? Did these things magically appear out of nowhere?
He almost lets out a startled scream when the bathroom door flew open, creating a loud bang that echoed throughout the expanse of the bathroom.
"Kuroo, get out. I need to take a shit." You say with all seriousness in your voice as you stood by the doorframe with your hair mussed up along with your disheveled clothing.
It sometimes amazes Kuroo how you really didn't give a shit what people think about you, especially during these types of situations where you weren't afraid to say what's on your mind — "OUT!"
Kuroo races out of the bathroom as if it was his life's purpose.
——————
He was pretty sure he didn't accidentally buy two of his favorite cologne. Plus the newer looking one had more content in it in comparison to his, which would probably last him a week if he used it sparingly.
He kept his inquisitive stare at the glass-bottled cologne that stood innocently on the counter sink.
Either this house is completely haunted or there's another man living somewhere in this house.
Kuroo shakes his head.
Okay that was definitely a wild and probably a false accusation but he was very very peeved at the sudden appearance of everything he'd seen so far. What's next? A shaving cream for men that he had never heard of yet?
Kuroo's eyes widened.
And what do you know? There's the said, unheard of shaving cream standing proudly right beside the shampoos and conditioners that was on the shelf, near the shower head.
He didn't really think twice and raced out of the bathroom to inform you of his findings.
"[Name]!"
Literally, at the sound of Kuroo's alarmed voice, you fell off of your bed in surprise, taking with you the blanket you were just about to wrap yourself around in so you could take your awaited afternoon nap with Shiro, your newly adopted chantilly-tiffany kitten from the cafe.
Speaking of the small feline, he merely sat on top of your pillow to stare at you who had fallen into a heap. As you can see, he is very caring.
"Kuroo..." You scowl, lifting your head up as you blew a few strands of hair from your face, "What the fuck, are you screaming your goddamn lungs out for?" You grind out, taking the elastic from your wrist so you could tie you hair up, your drowsiness disappearing from the rude interruption of your roommate.
"Is this place haunted?" Laughter would've probably spill from your lips at the absurd accusation, but seeing Kuroo's face devoid of emotion — except fear — you thought against it.
"And where in the world did you get that idea?" snorting rather unattractively, you push yourself off of the floor, pulling the blanket along to lay it on the bed. "I've lived here for almost three years and I assure you, there ain't any ghosts."
"Really? Because —" He suddenly stops in the middle of his sentence, your brows shooting up questioningly at the sudden halt and at the fact that his eyes had suddenly trailed down to stare at your... crotch area?
"You have five seconds to look away —"
"What are you wearing?"
You close your mouth shut and looked down, blinking once at the alien themed boxers that adorned the upper part of your thighs, "My boxers? Actually they were Oikawa's —"
"Aha! So you are an underwear stealer!"
"No. He gave them to me." You sigh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose in irritation at his wild claim. "Said it didn't fit him so I ended up taking it. Plus, boxer briefs are really comfortable to wear."
Kuroo could only blink at the information, mouth opening and closing like a fish our of water until he spoke, "So you didn't have any guys sleep over?"
You made a face, "No? If I did then I would've told you about it."
"Then who owns that razor? I'm pretty sure that isn't mine."
An eyebrow raised, you huff and crossed your arms, "Have you ever thought that it could possibly be mine?"
"The shaving cream?"
"Mine."
"Cologne that is exactly like mine?"
"Mine."
Shiro mewls, looking between you and Kuroo before the small feline paws at your foot, signalling for you to pick him up. You obliged and scooped up the fur-ball and scratched behind his ear, giggling at the satisfied purr emitting from the creature.
Kuroo sighs in relief and leaned against your door-frame, "I wasn't aware you prefer male items than the female's."
"Hey, they're cheaper and better in quality so why not?" You grins, poking the kitten's nose with the tip of your index finger, "Plus the cologne smells good."
"Aren't you supposed to smell like vanilla and roses?"
"What am I made of? Sugar, Spice and everything nice?" You scoff, walking towards him and gestured for him to pick up the small cat, and he does. "Besides, the cologne keeps assholes away most of the time. They think I have a boyfriend because of it so they keep their distances."
Well, he couldn't argue with that logic and he was silently glad that you took an extra step to prevent any unwanted attention from unfamiliar men.
"How come it doesn't keep me away then?" Kuroo smirks. You roll your eyes at the thought of your insufferable roommate being in one of his flirty moods.
"Obviously because you aren't an asshole?" You pause, registering your words, "Well, most of the time." He pouts. "And you also wear the same cologne, dumbass." You pat his cheeks a few times, "I'm pretty sure your IQ is high enough to not be tricked by smells and yes." Your much smaller hand compared to his remained on his cheek, as you stared up at him with a teasing grin. "That's me trying to say you smell good."
Kuroo really didn't know what to do. The warmth radiating from the palm of your hand made his thoughts all muddled up. He hates how much of an effect you had on him really.
He tried to not look disappointed when your hand did leave his cheek, but he couldn't forget how the tips of your fingers ever so slightly brushed against his now warm cheek, "I'm kinda hungry. Want me to cook something for the both of us?"
Though he really couldn't complain. Just being in your presence was enough to feel him all warm inside. He doesn't exactly know if it was because of the warm, welcoming smile you rarely show anyone, or the warmth of your hand when it clasped around his so you could guide him towards the kitchen with you.
Yeah, definitely wife material.
Kuroo thinks to himself as he watches you skip around the kitchen to prepare the afternoon snack with Shiro padding around the small surface of the bar counter.
It was times like these where he would not hesitate to admit the fact he would love to spend the rest of his life with you. Even if you'd grow tired of him, he certainly wouldn't get tired of you, that he was sure of.
——————
Song: Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis