(Y/N)'s POV
"Come on babe, it will be fun, I promise." He said as he tried to convinced me to go to the club with him and his friends.
"I'm not sure Shawn." I answered skeptically.
"Please? Just this once? For me?" He tried again.
"Why would you want me there? I'm pretty sure I'm going to be left out." I sighed.
"You're not going to be left out. I will be with you the whole time. I promise."
I sighed but ended up agreeing, in which I regret as of this moment.
So here I am sat on this couch all by myself, while my lovely boyfriend is happily chatting away with his friends.
You know that saying about feeling alone in a crowded room? Yeah, that's how I feel at the moment.
He would look at me from time to time in which I will give him a nod and a fake smile in return to reassure him that I'm fine.
I know I'm lying to him but he's having fun, I don't want to ruin that for him by being a party pooper.
I sighed as I took a drink from my glass of water.
He has been doing this quite a lot recently. Partying, going out with his friends, drinking, more partying, and more drinking.
I understand that he's a young boy, and he really wants to catch up with his friends since he's on tour most of the time but I need him too.
I miss him too.
I just need his attention to be on me for once.
When he comes back from tour, he would usually go out with his friends and go partying. He rarely stays at home to just be there with me. To be just us.
He would sneak in, in the middle of the night and just fall asleep next to me, too intoxicated to even say goodnight or even notice that I am still awake.
I don't know what has happened to him but I can't seem to gather up the courage to ask him about it.
I can't be selfish right? I mean, he hasn't seen his friends for a while, and if he wants to hang out with them, who am I stop stop him?
"Hey there (Y/N)." A voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Hi Nash." I gave him a small smile.
"You okay? Why are you here all by yourself?" He asked as he sat next to me.
"If I'm being honest? No. I just want to leave this place. And well, he's busy I guess." I sighed and gestured towards where Shawn was standing.
He looked at me for a moment then searched for Shawn. He then shook his head disapprovingly.
"He can be pretty dumb sometimes." He said out of the blue.
"Yeah."
"You need to tell him off (Y/N)." He said in a serious tone. I shook my head no. "I can't Nash. I don't want to ruin his happiness."
"I swear, if your not telling him off, I will. He has hurt you enough already." He looked at where Shawn was standing moments ago and his eyes widened.
"What?" I asked as I looked at where he was staring.
And there he was, Mr. Shawn Mendes, casually flirting with a blonde girl.
He placed his hand on her waist and leaned in to whisper something in her ear, making her giggle.
The girl's hand was on his arm, stroking it up and down in a flirtatious manner. Shawn not even bothered by one bit.
Both seemed oblivious to the fact that I was staring right at them.
I was just frozen there, staring at them. I can feel Nash's tense body beside me, his fist clenching.
Then I felt my heart broke when the girl started to lean in for a kiss, Shawn not even bothering to stop her, until their lips touched.
His lips on another girl's lips.
My world crumbled at that very moment.
Everything seemed to slow down as my heart broke into pieces. A tear rolled down my cheek as I stared blankly at the man whom I trusted and love, kissing another girl with his arms around her.
"That's it." I heard Nash mumble as he abruptly stood up and rushed towards Shawn. I can't seem to find the strength to move at all. I just sat there, and watched the scene in front of me.
Nash pushed Shawn's shoulder roughly, making him stumbled on his feet, letting the girl go. The blonde girl tried to stop them but Nash pointed a finger at her and told her to leave.
Nash grabbed Shawn's shirt in his hands, shaking him violently.
"You swore Mendes! You swore on your life that you will never hurt her that's why agreed for you to date her! Now look at what you've done!" Nash yelled. He pushed Shawn harshly, making him stumble back.
"Yeah, you are my friend but that's my sister you fucking asshole! Now go and fix this or I'm going to beat the crap out of you, you dickhead!" He screamed at his face, giving him a nasty look before making his way towards me.
People started to watch but Nash didn't care one bit.
As he reached me, he quickly engulfed me in a hug and rubbed my back soothingly. I buried my face in his chest as tears continued to stream down my eyes. "You're going to be fine. You're a strong girl (Y/N). You're going to be okay." He whispered.
"Thank you Nash." I mumbled in his shirt. "Hey, there's no need for that. I'm your big brother, it's my duty to protect you." He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter. I choked back a sob as I hugged my big brother back.
"Nash." Shawn called out. Nash pulled away reluctantly, giving Shawn a glare.
"I fucking swear Shawn, this is the last time. One more wrong move and you're done. You're not seeing my sister ever again." He growled. He turned to me and gave me soft kiss on the forehead. "Call me okay?" Nash said.
"I will." I whispered, giving him a small smile.
"I'll be watching you Mendes." Nash said and left me alone with him.
"(Y/N) I—" I cut him off by walking straight towards the exit.
"(Y/N)! Babe, wait up." He ran towards me and grabbed my arm. I shook it off quickly and stood in front of his car.
He sighed and walked towards the drivers side. I heard a click then quickly opened the door, closing it rather harshly.
I stared out at the window as he drove off. Silence filled the car as I payed him no attention.
"(Y/N), please talk to me babe." He tried but I still ignored him. I can't look at him right now.
I've let him go to clubs, to bars, to parties because I trusted him. But after I saw what happened back there? I don't even know anymore.
Who knows what he has been doing when he's out partying. Maybe he's been kissing strangers. Maybe even getting laid with some random chick.
I felt a pang in my chest at that thought.
"(Y/N) please. Talk to me." I ignored him once again, earning a frustrated groan from him.
"So you're giving me the silent treatment now huh? Fine. Suit yourself." He said, raising his voice a little bit.
The ride back to our apartment was quiet all through out. When we arrived at our driveway, I quickly got out of the car and walked towards the door, his angry footsteps trailing right behind me.
As we got inside he grabbed my arm roughly and spun me around.
"(Y/N) please, speak to me." He said firmly.
"What do you want Shawn? I saw it with my own eyes. I don't need an explanation." I said not looking at him in the eyes.
"She flirted and kissed me (Y/N). Not the other way around." He said.
"You flirted back and didn't do anything to stop her Shawn. If Nash didn't butt in, the two of you might have made out right there in front of me." I fired back. That rendered him speechless.
"You kissed another girl Shawn." I whispered.
"Okay, I'm sorry (Y/N). I don't even have a good enough reason to give you, I don't know what came to me. I just—I'm sorry." He apologized.
"This is not only about what happened in the club Shawn." I mumbled.
"What more could there be?" He asked, getting slightly irritated.
"I'm tired Shawn. I'm going to bed." I whispered turning my back on him.
"WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WHAT FROM ME?!" He screamed.
I flinched at his sudden outburst. I turned around and look at him in the eyes for the first time tonight.
All I saw was anger and frustration.
"I want you to be there for me when I need you the most Shawn." I said softly, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"I am here (Y/N)! What more could you ask for?!" He ran his hand through his hair in exasperation.
"You are barely here Shawn! You are always out there partying with your friends!" I yelled back.
"So what?! You want me to be with you all the time?! To be here beside you 24/7 and to stop hanging out with my friends?!" He took a step forward. "You can't be that selfish (Y/N)!" He screamed.
"Selfish? You're calling me selfish?!" I walked towards him and jabbed a finger on his chest.
"You are the one who's selfish Shawn! You think about no one but yourself! You only think about your happiness and what you want! You haven't even stopped to think about me!" I screamed at his face.
"That's not true (Y/N)." He answered his voice slightly wavering.
"Oh really?" I laughed sarcastically. "Every time you come home from tour where do you always go? Huh?! You go fucking clubbing with your friends! You go to parties getting your fucking ass drunk! And did you hear anything from me?! No Shawn! You did not! Because I always thought about you and your happiness Shawn! I didn't want to stop you from hanging out with your friends because I don't want you to think that I'm being a selfish brat that only wants you for herself! You haven't heard me say no to you Shawn when you asked me if you could go hang out with your friends! You haven't heard me complain about you spending more time with your friends than me! Not even once! Because I always put you first! I always think about you first! And you still got the nerve to call me selfish?!" I yelled taking another step towards him.
"I'm still selfish by putting your happiness first than my own?! I'm still fucking selfish by thinking about what you want and what you need than my own needs Shawn?!" I pushed him repeatedly but because he's a lot stronger, he didn't even move a muscle.
"Remember that time when you had 50 messages and 20 missed calls from me?" I asked. He faintly nodded.
"You yelled at me for calling you so many times. For being a clingy, annoying girlfriend. You yelled at me for disturbing your party mood. You didn't even came home that night." I shook my head disappointedly.
"You thought I called you just so I can hear your voice? You thought I called just because I want to talk? Well you thought wrong Shawn." His head sprang up as he stared at me.
"After I ate dinner all by myself, I felt this sharp pain in my lower stomach. Not the cramps type of pain, no. This pain was like getting stab over and over again, and it hurt like hell. I didn't know what was happening to me so I called you. But you didn't answer Shawn. You just sent me a text that said 'I'm busy and having fun. Stop being clingy.' You remember?" I added.
"(Y/N) I—" He whispered tears starting to form in his eyes.
"Good thing Nash was in town that time, so I called him and he rushed me to the hospital just in time. My appendix burst Shawn. I've gone through surgery that night. I could've died for all I know. Then the next day, the doctors said I can finally go home, so I did. And when I got home? You were on the bed, drunk, without a care in the world to what has happened to me. I needed you Shawn. I badly needed you at that time, but where were you?" I said, anger boiling inside me once again.
"(Y/N)..." He whispered.
"You were fucking partying with your friends! Dancing and grinding with some random blonde bimbo!" I yelled, tears covering my cheeks once more.
"I wasn't dancing with a random stranger, I promise. But still, I'm sorry (Y/N) I didn't know." He said, choking back a sob.
"How would you know Shawn?! You weren't answering my fucking calls!" I cried out in irritation. "You promised Shawn. You promised that you will be there when I need you. But you weren't."
"I'm sorry..." He mumbled keeping his head down.
"When was the last time you stayed at home with me Shawn?! When was the fucking last time you spent your time with only me?! When was the last time you thought about me and what I want?! When was the last time you thought about me and my happiness Shawn?!Me Shawn! Your fucking girlfriend!" He stayed silent and looked down.
"ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I screamed, tears falling down my cheeks. He looked at me, his eyes full of tears, guilt and pain.
"You know what? I can't do it anymore Shawn. I'm tired of constantly fighting for your attention. If you truly love me, I wouldn't even have to fight for it. You've hurt me enough already. I've had enough. I'm done." My voice broke in the end since I couldn't hold it back much longer.
I cried right in front of him. Tears continuously pouring out of my eyes.
"(Y/N) I—" He started but I cut him off.
"No Shawn. Don't even try and sweet talk your way out of this. I'm tired Shawn. I need to rest." I quickly ran up the stairs and inside our bedroom, locking the door. I sat on the floor and hugged my knees, pouring my eyes out.
I heard footsteps rush up the stairs then a faint knock on the door.
"(Y/N), baby, open up." He said from the other side of the door. "Open the door please, just hear me out."
"If you won't open the door then just listen to me okay?" He sighed. I stayed silent but listened to him anyways. My silence might have been a go for him.
"I know sorry won't cut this anymore but I am still going to apologize over and over again until you forgive me (Y/N). I admit, I have been an asshole for hurting you. Even worse than an asshole. You don't deserve this at all. You don't deserve to be hurt like this baby. You are the most amazing girl that I have ever met and you have done nothing but to make me the happiest and luckiest man alive. But in return, I've hurt you. And that makes me the stupidest man that has ever walked this earth. I understand if you won't speak to me for days, weeks even. And I will gladly accept that punishment. No one else is to blame but me. All of this is my doing. All of this is entirely my fault. I have been blind to everything that I haven't realize I've been hurting you. All is this is on me. And I am so sorry. Just please (Y/N), don't give up on me. Don't give up on us just yet. I can't lose you. I can't live without you. I need you in life (Y/N). And I will work hard so that I won't hurt you again. I can't afford to lose you, I just can't. It took a while to convince Nash and I won't make him regret his decision of letting me date you. I won't make you regret that you said yes to being my girlfriend. I'll do everything that I can to make this better (Y/N). You have my word. Just give me one more chance? All I need is one more chance. If I hurt you again, I swear I'll be the one who will beat myself first. I am so so sorry for everything that I've done wrong. I'm sorry for hurting you my princess. I'm so sorry my angel." He sobbed on the other side of the door.
"Give me one more chance please (Y/N)..." He whispered.
I sighed and stood up, opening the door. He looked at me and just broke down crying. He grabbed my hands and knelt down in front of me, head hung low.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry (Y/N). I'm sorry princess. I'm sorry." He mumbled over and over again.
"Shawn, stand up." I tried to pull him up but he was just too heavy.
"Shawn, baby..." I knelt down in front of him. I pulled my hand out of his grip and cupped his face for him to look at me.
"I'm sorry (Y/N). I'm so sorry for hurting you baby. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry princess, I'm so so sorry." He sobbed.
"Come here." I whispered and pulled him in for a hug. We sat there for a few minutes, just holding each other until his sobs became sniffles.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.
"I'm so lucky to have you in life." He whispered. "And I'll try my best to make you the happiest girl in this world." He added.
"Just kiss me already." I said playfully. He chuckled.
He brushed his nose against mine and stared straight into my eyes. He cupped my face and stroke my cheek with his thumb.
"I love you (Y/N)..." He leaned in and finally closed the gap between us.
His lips touched mine, ever so soft and tender. He smiled in between the kiss and so did I.
We've kissed plenty of times before but this time felt different. It felt more special, more passionate.
"I love you Shawn." I whispered on his lips making him sigh, his body relaxing. I giggled at his reaction.
"I could never get enough of you babe. You always make my head spin." He said as we pulled away.
"You do the same to me Mendes."
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That was slightly intense. Haha. And Naaaaash 💕
Hope you enjoyed that one! :)
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