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"Both wrong and right our memories whisper before we sleep."
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CAROLINE MISSING was like having a serial killer on the loose. Not knowing where she was sends shivers down my spine and an ache in my heart as I truly hoped she doesn't do anything irrational or else I fear she'll never forgive herself when she comes out from all of this.
We split into different teams, each of us taking different routes to find Caroline. James, Joel and Logan left with James's truck to check on Matt and Theo, to make sure Caroline hadn't done anything to them. Stefan took his car to get Bonnie so we could do a locator spell while Damon and I took his car to scout around town.
It was kind of awkward, sitting in a car with Damon after everything that has happened. I know he's still a little mad at the fact I put myself in such a difficult position, but at the same time I know he's also a little tense about bringing it up, as if he feels like he has to walk on eggshells around me. He's scared that if he says one wrong thing, I'll blow up.
"I'm okay, you know," I speak up, glancing over at him.
He seems to be caught off guard, as he only purses his lips. "I don't want you to worry, is all," I add to clarify.
"Come on Blair," Damon groans. "That doesn't mean shit to me. If my little sister turns her humanity off, you'll be damn sure I'm going to worry," he blurts out all at once.
That's the thing with Damon; when he's angry, he literally has no filter. He says whatever he's feeling, even if he knows he shouldn't say some things. I've learned to just accept it, to just let him rant. It's not common that you find someone as brutally honest as him.
"I just don't understand why you did it, even when you had people like James and Theo who you knew would be affected by all of this," Damon sighs, leaning his head back on the seat.
"Caroline is my friend, Damon, and she was hurting. I couldn't just stand by and watch as she tore herself apart from the inside," I explain, brining myself back to that night. It physically hurt me to see Caroline suffer from such a deep rooted pain- a pain in which I knew wasn't going to go away any time soon.
"You could have at least tried to stop her, like Elena did," Damon argues.
"Elena got her freaking neck snapped. I don't think she was really getting through to Caroline very well," I growl irritably. "I was able to reach out to Caroline, to understand her pain. I knew there was no way in hell I was going to stop her from flipping her switch, so I did the only thing I could to support her."
"Yeah, and look what happened. She dragged you down a hole of pain, Blair. She made you do things that you didn't want to, things that destroy your character." Damon continues to bicker.
"She didn't make me do anything, Damon. I decided for myself, and yes I know it probably wasn't the best option, but it was the only one I had at that particular moment," I try to assure him. I know he's only concerned about me, so I want to ease his stress. "As far as I know, I'm still the same Blair Salvatore today as I was a week ago before all of this happened."
"Are you sure? Because it sure didn't look like that this morning," Damon says, referring to how gloomy and grim I was about an hour ago. I still am a little down, but that's to be expected.
"How would you like me to be after having all my emotions shoved in my face at once? After I remember everything that I did, and feel the emotions that tag along with them? I think you'd be very concerned if I came out the other side quite content and laughing happily," I point out.
He sighs, leaning back in his seat as he thinks it through. I know he knows that I'm right, and I can only hope he understands where I'm coming from. "It's just not fair, you don't deserve that Blair," he says quietly.
"I know," I whisper, staring at the road ahead of us.
"I wanted so badly to scrap the plan that we made, the one that involved Bonnie forcing memories of the tomb into your mind," Damon tells me. "I didn't want you to feel that pain again, after all you've been through."
I only give him a smile, trying to ensure that that although it was painful, it brought me back, and that's all that matters.
"How did you know that would work?" I ask curiously.
"Believe it or not, it was Joel." Damon forces a laugh. "Such a bastard," Damon growls slightly, but I notice it.
"Well believe it or not, it worked. I think we owe him a thank you," I tell Damon, however he doesn't seem very pleased.
Damon turns to me so suddenly that the car swerves a bit on the road. "Excuse me!" he asks incredulously. "That sly sheep came up with an idea that hurt you!"
"No, that sly sheep came up with an idea that saved me from myself. All I needed was a little touch of pain to make me want to do anything to escape it," I explain calmly.
"That wasn't just a little touch of pain, Blair. You were reliving the worst days of your life. That's not just pain, that's hell," Damon says flatly, his hands gripping his steering wheel tightly.
"Yes, I've been through hell and back Damon, but you know what? I came out stronger. I can handle it now, and Joel knew that. He knew that a little touch of hell could bring me back from the brink of it, and without that I don't think I would be here beside you right now. Hell, neither would James. Joel helped bring both of us back" I say.
"Why do you trust him so much!" Damon suddenly shouts, his enraged voice booming throughout the confined walls of his car.
"Why do you hate him so much!" I yell back, his anger sparking my own anger buried just beneath my surface.
"Because Blair, I've known you for all my life, been by your side, wanted to protect you, yet I just can't seem to compete with little Branson. Whenever you two are together you get along so well, like you've known him longer than I've known you," he shouts, finally admitting the storm cloud that was inside his head.
"Damon, Joel is my friend okay? He's my friend, but he is not my brother; you are," I say quietly, touching his hand gently.
He turns to me, his eyes glassy and wide. I know my words have gotten through to him, but I can also tell that he still doesn't quite believe me. "You guys have such a strong bond, and part of me envies that," he states, turning back to the road.
"Damon," I sigh, slightly heartbroken that he feels this way. Whenever Damon gets emotional, I get emotional, and that's very rare on both of our behalves. Although it appears it has become more common lately.
"There are only three people in this world who truly know me, who have discovered every inch of me, who know me inside and out. That includes Stefan, James, and you. Joel may be a close friend, and he makes me laugh, but he doesn't know me like you do. Joel is a fun, free spirited guy, and sure we have lots in common, but when it comes down to it, there's nobody else I would rather talk with about my personal problems, than my own big brother." I smile warmly, giving his hand a squeeze.
Damon sighs, turning to me with a genuine smile, as if all his worries have been erased. "I guess I don't hate Joel," he admits quietly.
I let out a chuckle, shaking my head. "No, you don't. You just can't stand him because he resembles you. He's annoying, cocky, speaks fluent sarcasm, and acts violently," I explain.
"Hey!" Damon gapes. "Watch it!" he exclaims, pretending to be offended.
"But," I continue. "He also cares deeply for his friends a family, and although he may not always act like it, when he loves, he loves hard."
"Let's not forget that you and I are practically the same too," Damon points out. "So basically that means you, Joel and myself are triplets," he says bluntly, his face neutral while I let out a laugh.
"I already have two annoying brothers, I don't need a third," I say just as my phone goes off.
With a grin on my face, I grab my phone, deeply disappointed as the smile diminishes from my face. I show Damon my screen so he can see Stefan's name before I pick it up. "Speaking of annoying brothers," I mumble before picking it up.
"You've reached Detective Salvatore, please state your concern and I'll be sure to get back to you ASAP as possible," I tease, causing Damon to snort in laughter.
"Blair, now is really not the time to be joking," Stefan says monotoned.
"It never is brother," I sigh. "What's up?"
"Bonnie and I found Caroline, and managed to sedate her. We're on our way to the boarding house now where we can lock her up," Stefan informs me.
"Wait! Don't go to the boarding house, go to her mom's house," I suggest.
"Why?" Stefan asks obliviously.
"Because it will trigger emotions, trust me," I say. "Damon and I are on our way now. See you in a few," I say, turning off my phone before reaching out to James in my mind to warn him of where we are going.
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We arrive to Carolines old house rather quickly, but I shouldn't be surprised seeing as Damon was the one driving. I guess I get my need for speed from him, along with many other things.
"Hello?" I call as Damon and I enter the house. It's fairly dim, with the curtains drawn and the lights off. The house also has an odd smell, a muggy sort of cloudy smell that comes when you haven't entered a place for a while. Not to mention this place is filled with sorrow, which might add to the eeriness to the place.
"Well, well, look who we have here. It's the traitor and her dick of a brother. Did I ever tell you how disgusting it is that you and Damon are so alike. Like seriously, looks and personality. Are you sure Stefan is even your brother?" Caroline's weak and raspy voice sounds somewhere inside the house.
"He's my twin actually," I say, Damon and I still searching for where she is.
I flip on the living room light, a little shocked to see her tied by chains to the bars of the window. Apparently Stefan and Bonnie have made a prison of this place, and put Caroline right in the centre of the house where she first turned her switch off. I remember the exact spot where I stood when I turned my switch off along with her, as I'm standing on it right now.
"I see you've found our inmate," Stefan suddenly says. "Where's the rest of the crew like James?"
"They went to pick up Theo from Matt's place. Haven't seen the little guy in a week," I say with a faint smile, when suddenly another figure comes from behind Stefan.
It takes me a moment to realize that the figure of an old friend I once knew now stands before me once again. The last time I actually saw Bonnie was last night when she forced memories of the tomb into my mind, but the last time I actually saw her with a right state of mind, fully aware of the value of her existence was more than a few months ago. Even then I never thought I would see her again, yet here she is.
"Bonnie." I smile in relief, walking towards her and embracing her in a hug.
At first she seems a little surprised, a little taken off guard. We are not best friends, and don't always get along, but she has saved my life as well as my brother's countless times, and for that she has gained my trust and respect. Plus, after all these years of knowing her and building our relationship, I've learned that Bonnie is such a strong, independent person, and that is something I admire. So yes, even though were are not best friends, I still consider her my friend, and I am still just as thrilled to see her back.
"I can't believe you're actually here!" I say as I release her.
"Well, it wasn't easy I'll you that." She forces a tight laugh, still clearly rattled by the whole incident. "Kai-"
"You don't have to worry about him. He's gone, dead, and never coming back," I state firmly, assuring her. I'm just as thankful as she is that we won't have to see that jackass ever again.
"I know." She smiles. "I wanted to thank you, since I heard you were a part of it," she says sincerely.
"Ah well, as much as I had fun being a part of it, I have to say Luke was a big part of it seeing as he beat Kai in the merge. Honestly I have no idea where he is. Probably finding amusement in his newfound power," I chuckle, as does Bonnie.
"Okay, your little reunion over there is making me want to gauge my eyes out," Caroline speaks out. Even though I'm not looking at her, I know she's rolling her eyes. I can practically hear it from the sound of her voice if that's possible.
With a deep breath, I slowly turn on my heels and stare Caroline deeply in the eyes, as if trying to latch onto any inch of humanity. It's hard, but I see a speckle in her eyes that tells me she finds this place uncomfortable. I can tell by the way she scrunches her brows together slightly, and the way her bottom lip purses inwards. She's nervous, anxious, and thankfully all those feelings can be turned into deep emotions.
"Okay Caroline." I smirk, crossing my arms across my chest. "Let's get started now, shall we?"
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[completed & edited: 10/30/2021]