Today is a good day to get some rest. I just lay on the bed, Carmen's laptop plugged into the TV, and marathon through shows that aired in the mid 90's. The one I'm watching now happens to be about a teenage girl narrating her life. I'm exhausted from nursing the little leech. Yes, that's right, I turned someone. If you think it's simple a baby vamp just has to feed from their sire, whether they're male, female, or whatever sex in between once, you're wrong. It takes days and I'm only on the second week. This whole ordeal started right after I took Donnie Knight to Talia's.
The Tavern was moderately active. The regular crowd was there, mostly crowded around a foosball table. A team of a witch and a shapeshifter were facing off against another witch partnered with a ghost. I easily spotted Carmen at the bar having a chat with Social Justice Werewolf, but the vampires' immediate recognition of Donnie changed that.
"I remember when you were performing in operas," one mentioned.
"Why are we standing around when I could be kicking his ass?" another one said. "Because of him a girl I was courting left me."
Not wanting any further involvement, I slipped away from the tiny mob and joined up with Carmen. She wasn't too pleased he tagged along with me.
"What part of not bringing Donnie Douchebag didn't you get?"
For someone who was excited to meet the douchebag himself, she definitely did a one eighty on her feelings towards him. "I'm hoping Talia might take care of him. I mean, I've never seen Donnie around here before. You've never seen him around here. I'm counting on the regulars to back me up on this."
"I've never heard of this Donnie Douchebag guy until his solo career," Social Justice Werewolf added in. "Guys who act like assholes in public deserve much more than a kick in the nuts." She pumped her fist in the air. "Rock on, sister."
"You're not limiting it to white, male vampires? That's a change."
"Hey, don't get sidetracked, Lena." Carmen waved at Talia, attempting to get her attention. "I've had enough hearing about the male monster creature patriarchy in one night."
Social Justice Werewolf cleared her throat but Carmen told her to shut up about political correctness in her own way. Then Donnie decided to join us.
"Sorry about that, had to settle a dispute regarding something personal." He initially sat next to Carmen but she moved away and sat behind me. "Hey, I apologized what I could–"
"Just because someone writes a fantasy about being whisked away to be immortally with some warped idea of a boy band member does not mean they consent to it." Carmen tried to flag Talia again then continued, "If it helps, my sister was in a relationship with a vampire while I was living with her. I had trouble sleeping the first couple nights because I was sure he'd take a little nibble without me knowing about it. He did of course, but he also told me how to fend him off, if he ever does that. It's fucking annoying!"
And that's why I never feed off Carmen without her consent.
"This idea of yours is plain, fucking creepy. It's not like I'm dying of cancer or used in a ritualistic sacrifice that I need to be turned to be saved."
"I see. So, you wouldn't mind if I pay for your next drink?"
Carmen looked at me and mouthed, "Is he serious?"
I shook my head slightly.
"Is that a no or a yes? I hate it when you troll me like that." She flagged Talia down again, this time calling out her name.
"Yes, what do you want? You could have asked Bartender or Annalisa –"
"Annalisa?" Carmen inquired.
"Yes, Annalisa, you keep on calling her the Social Justice Werewolf. I hired her recently as a waitress on the condition I pay her the same or more than Bartender."
The revelation was new to us but nothing to do with this story. To keep it short, Talia and Donnie met before in Dagestan, which I have learned is in Russia. He tried to court her once, but, she created a knock-out potion and looted whatever he had with him at the time. And shortly after Talia gave Donnie, Carmen and I drinks, a man dressed as a winged hussar burst through the doors. The bar was at a standstill as he scanned the room and stopped when he spotted me. He, along with two others in matching outfits, marched into the tavern and stopped right in front of me.
"Książę prosi, byś towarzyszyła mu w drodze powrotnej do ojczyzny," he said after he and the two other hussars made a tiny bow.
Carmen whispered, "Who are they and why are they bowing?"
I knew who they were and I didn't want the others to know so I responded, "Sorry, I think you got the wrong person." I turned around on the stool to face the bar.
Not too long after, what sounded like a computerized voice said in English, "The prince asks you to accompany him on his way back to his homeland."
I swiveled back and saw the head guy holding a phone in his hand. He said some more things in the same language and the phone translated, "Please come with us or he'll castrate us. We don't want that."
"Fuck off! I'm not coming with you!"
Before I could turn away, one of the hussar guys grabbed my arm. "Wystarczająco długo opóźniałaś ślub!"
"What the fuck! Let go! That fucking hurts!" Normally I'd fight off these guys, but he got a good grip on me. There was no wriggling me out of that, however Donnie stepped up and broke his arm off before I could be reeled in.
"The lady says to let go, then let go," he said as he repeatedly punched one-arm. One-arm wasn't alone and the other two joined in the fight.
Annalisa joined the brawl as well as the men who were playing foosball, but it was ultimately Talia and the bartender who stole the show. They hopped over the bar, and separated Donnie, Annalisa and the foosball players from the hussars. Talia said a few words in Russian and next thing you know the hussars flew straight through the roof.
"No one comes into my place and harasses my customers," Talia warned everyone who was present. She then with Bartender following her hopped back to behind the bar.
I tossed the dismembered arm away and sat back down on the stool, however what had happened didn't shake the attention off me. A foosball players approached and asked, "You're not from clan Darvov, are you? One of the well-known clans from the Continent?"
I looked around and the whole room crowded around Carmen and me. Carmen even asked, "Seriously, what the Hell is going on? What did they mean by you coming with them?"
Talia placed two glasses on the bar, one water and one blood. "I understood most of what those emissaries said. You're not the only runaway princess I've encountered."
"Runaway princess? Lena, does that mean you're–"
"Princess is saying a bit much, Carmen." I took the glass of blood. "I prefer the term 'high-ranking female'."
"But you've been living like, well, just about anyone in the Metropolis. You could afford a condo in the North and live there alone. From what Talia's saying you're not the target of an assassination, but why were they after you?"
I looked at the crowd again then back at Carmen. I glanced at Talia and the Bartender who started to pour some drinks. "Listen carefully as I'm not repeating this to you again. It stays in here until this shit is sorted out. Is that clear?" There was some chatter among the small crowd but once it died down I placed my glass on the bar.
"Clan Zemlich has been the ruling clan for at least five hundred years in my homeland, which spans most of Eastern Europe. Ruling clans keep the throne provided that they maintain a strong bloodline of pure-blooded vampires or until someone starts a coup. Most of clan Darvov, my clan, are cousins with the Zemlich and thus top pick for keeping the bloodline pure. My sister, Svetlina, well, technically she's my half sister, she was originally chosen as consort to the Zemlich prince, Lukasz. If any of you are familiar with Lina, she took over a nunnery and started up one of those lesbian vampire hangouts."
"I've been there," Donnie interrupted. "While I haven't met Svetlina personally, they definitely put on a good show, especially when they lure in unsuspecting tourists."
I rolled my eyes and continued, "And this all happened while my mom was pregnant with me. Since Lina flat out rejected Lukasz, the Zemlich clan went with the next eligible female from my clan. All the others were married off to the other Zemlich guys and thus I was arranged to Lukasz provided I was born female. King Zemlich didn't care that I had a different mother than Lina's, one that was from a lower class clan to boot. That's how desperate he was for his clan to remain in power."
"And your parents, your family have a say in this?" Carmen picked up the glass of water. "I'd do anything not be forcefully hitched to some tyrant. Tyrant's an appropriate term, right?"
There was some mumbling from the crowd. Some of them used to live in the Homeland and still had family living there. They remembered the time before Clan Zemlich was in power or were at least told about it. "My parents were initially, but after the start of my vampire puberty and with my opposition to the marriage, we moved away. Other clan members, whom I haven't heard from in centuries, support it because if I don't, tyrant's gotta tyrant and kill them off into submission."
Carmen wasn't too happy about it and her face turned pale when she learned what happens to those who don't follow clan Zemlich.
Donnie nodded his head. "I'm glad I escaped my tyrant. According to the bitch I'm dead to her, but they always seem to find you if they have unfinished business. I can't stay long, and I should be heading back to my hotel. By the way, Talia, you got any river crossing charms on you?"
Talia said a few words to the bartender and he got to work on an inky-like concoction. "You know a good tattoo artist?"
"Justin knows how to apply ink."
She took a piece of paper, doodled something on it, and handed it to Donnie. "It's a suggestion, but anything close to it should work." Then she turned her attention to me. "Lenuchka, if you need protection, I can give you a bottle of magic sand. Much better than counting grains of rice."
"Thanks, Talia, but Lukasz doesn't have OCD."
"Not for knyaz Zemlich. It's for his soldiers. It also works as a barrier and comes in five different colours."
"Does it come in purple?" Carmen asked.
"I can only offer you yellow. I'm out of ingredients to make the other colours."
Carmen eyeballed me and said through clenched teeth, "Come on, Lena, take the offer."
I wasn't sure how long and effective the barrier of magic sand would last. And who knew where those three hussars landed? I took the offer anyway. From there I was guaranteed protection from Talia and was free to use her place if I or Carmen were in any sort of danger. But I had a better place to stay at the time.
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Fun language notes: (courtesy of MagorzataGwara whom I asked for correction/translation help for the episode)
Książę prosi, byś towarzyszyła mu w drodze powrotnej do ojczyzny --> The prince asks you to accompany him back to his homeland
Wystarczająco długo opóźniałaś ślub --> You delayed your marriage enough
Don't really have much to say about this part of the episode other than it's a bit of a different start/not much of a cold open. Feel free to guess the 90's TV show Lena and her little leech are watching.
You know the drill! Feedback is greatly appreciated and I'd love to read your comments (provided you've made it this far into what I have here)