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    Paid story
    How Not to Vampire - Season 1
    How Not to Vampire - Season 1
    iamRodneyVSmith
    • Reads
      Reads 23,171
      23,17123.1K
    • Votes
      Votes 1,669
      1,6691.6K
    • Parts
      Parts 16
      1616
    • Time
      Time 3h 8m
      3 hours, 8 minutes3h 8m
    Free preview
    • Reads
      Reads 23,171
      23,17123.1K
    • Votes
      Votes 1,669
      1,6691.6K
    • Parts
      Parts 16
      1616
    • Time
      Time 3h 8m
      3 hours, 8 minutes3h 8m
    iamRodneyVSmith
    Ongoing
    Ongoing, First published Apr 20, 2020
    Mature
    Vampiring is HARD.
        
        Things Bob has on his checklist when he accidentally becomes a vampire: a) forget everything he knows about vampires b) Google vampire survival tactics c) don't get brutally murdered by vampires.
        
        Apparently there are vampire LAWS, and Bob, a young, romantically-challenged black man living in Toronto, never got the guidebook. Even though it's not his fault that he's broken every rule, a secret vampire society is hellbent on giving him a more permanent death. With the help of his best pal, Claude, Bob tries to stay alive and hopefully turn around his screwed-up existence in the process.
        
        20 CHAPTERS, released weekly, only on Wattpad
        [[word count: 50,000-75,000 words]]
        
        EXCERPT:
        ******
        "Look: vampires are traditionally afraid of religious symbols. It's a well-known fact. If you're any kind of vampire, you should be outta here by now, not just sitting there drinking your coffee."
        
        "I'm not actually drinking it yet. Some idiot keeps interrupting me by shoving religious symbols in my face."
        
        Claude held up an ornate brass cross with a macabre Jesus Christ in the throes of death, designed to repel any nearby vampires.
        
        "Oh look," I said dryly, "the idiot's back."
        
        ******
        
        Edited by Debra Goelz
        Cover model: Ariel Pacheco
        Cover Photo by: Theik Smith
        Cover designed by: Rodney V. Smith
        
        Want more? JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/brxdsA9
        
        Jaime's Infinite Playlist (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DfPirPYtLKwEeSQ1upKZY?si=NhEhkcsIQOOpb7kKXIXWNw
        Book Playlist: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/jaimes-infinite-playlist/pl.u-JPVJCEXxXYv
    All Rights Reserved
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    • badgirlgoodboy
    • bajancanadian
    • billionaire
    • blood
    • bloodsucker
    • caribbean
    • comedy
    • comedyhorror
    • contemporarylit
    • diverse
    • diversity
    • funny
    • humor
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    • mafia
    • paranormal
    • twilight
    • vampire
    • vampireacademy
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    badboybadboyinlovebadgirlgoodboybajancanadianbillionairebloodbloodsuckercaribbeancomedycomedyhorrorcontemporarylitdiversediversityfunnyhumorlolmafiaparanormaltwilightvampirevampireacademyvampiresvampirewerewolfwerewolf
    Table of contentsLast updated 4 days ago
    • INTRODUCTION TO SEASON 1: THE REVAMP
    • 1. My Own Worst Enemy
    • 2. Friends in Low Places
    • 3. This Ain't No Chick Flick
    • 4. Jaime's Infinite Playlist
    • 5. Sic Transit Gloria
    • 6. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life
    • BONUS: The Talented Mr. Smith
      Locked
    • 7. It's a Bitter Sweet Symphony
    • 8. Drunken Shenanigans and Formidable Thighs
    • 9. The Chapter With the Sex
    • 10. The Beautiful People
    • 11. Life, Death and Everything In Between
    • 12. So I Might Be a Vampire
    • 13. Everything You Know is a Lie
    • PANIC AT THE DISCO: An Amazon Prime PANIC Bonus Chapter

    Get notified when How Not to Vampire - Season 1 is updated

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    By continuing, you agree to Wattpad's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
    • INTRODUCTION TO SEASON 1: THE REVAMP
    • 1. My Own Worst Enemy
    • 2. Friends in Low Places
    • 3. This Ain't No Chick Flick
    • 4. Jaime's Infinite Playlist
    • 5. Sic Transit Gloria
    • 6. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life
    • BONUS: The Talented Mr. Smith
      Locked
    • 7. It's a Bitter Sweet Symphony
    • 8. Drunken Shenanigans and Formidable Thighs
    • 9. The Chapter With the Sex
    • 10. The Beautiful People
    • 11. Life, Death and Everything In Between
    • 12. So I Might Be a Vampire
    • 13. Everything You Know is a Lie
    • PANIC AT THE DISCO: An Amazon Prime PANIC Bonus Chapter
    Report this story
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    When The Wind Is In The East

    10 parts Ongoing
    10 parts
    Ongoing

    Struggling orchestral violinist - Cade Forte - is enticed to go back to his old music conservatory to perform in an exclusive music festival. But things don't go as planned when a suspicious death fr...

    Free preview
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