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    How Not to Vampire - Season 1
    How Not to Vampire - Season 1
    iamRodneyVSmith
    • Reads
      Reads 28,904
      28,90428.9K
    • Votes
      Votes 2,942
      2,9422.9K
    • Parts
      Parts 27
      2727
    • Time
      Time 5h 18m
      5 hours, 18 minutes5h 18m
    Start reading
    • Reads
      Reads 28,904
      28,90428.9K
    • Votes
      Votes 2,942
      2,9422.9K
    • Parts
      Parts 27
      2727
    • Time
      Time 5h 18m
      5 hours, 18 minutes5h 18m
    iamRodneyVSmith
    Complete
    Complete, First published Apr 20, 2020
    Mature
    Vampiring is HARD.
        
        Things Bob has on his checklist when he accidentally becomes a vampire: a) forget everything he knows about vampires b) Google vampire survival tactics c) don't get brutally murdered by vampires.
        
        Apparently there are vampire LAWS, and Bob, a young, romantically-challenged black man living in Toronto, never got the guidebook. Even though it's not his fault that he's broken every rule, a secret vampire society is hellbent on giving him a more permanent death. With the help of his best pal, Claude, Bob tries to stay alive and hopefully turn around his screwed-up existence in the process.
        
        This is a FREE story with Paid Exclusive Chapters.
        Wattys 2022 Shortlist
        Wattpad Stormy Nights - Winner
        
        20 CHAPTERS only on Wattpad
        [[word count: 50,000-75,000 words]]
        
        EXCERPT:
        ******
        "Look: vampires are traditionally afraid of religious symbols. It's a well-known fact. If you're any kind of vampire, you should be outta here by now, not just sitting there drinking your coffee."
        
        "I'm not actually drinking it yet. Some idiot keeps interrupting me by shoving religious symbols in my face."
        
        Claude held up an ornate brass cross with a macabre Jesus Christ in the throes of death, designed to repel any nearby vampires.
        
        "Oh look," I said dryly, "the idiot's back."
        
        ******
        
        Edited by Debra Goelz
        Cover model: Ariel Pacheco
        Cover Photo by: Theik Smith
        Cover designed by: Rodney V. Smith
        
        Want more? JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/brxdsA9
        
        Jaime's Infinite Playlist (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DfPirPYtLKwEeSQ1upKZY?si=NhEhkcsIQOOpb7kKXIXWNw
        Book Playlist: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/jaimes-infinite-playlist/pl.u-JPVJCEXxXYv
    All Rights Reserved
    • badboy
    • badboyinlove
    • badgirlgoodboy
    • bajancanadian
    • billionaire
    • blood
    • bloodsucker
    • caribbean
    • comedy
    • comedyhorror
    • contemporarylit
    • diverse
    • diversity
    • funny
    • humor
    • lol
    • paidstories
    • paranormal
    • twilight
    • vampire
    • vampireacademy
    • vampires
    • vampirewerewolf
    • werewolf
    • wpsn22
    badboybadboyinlovebadgirlgoodboybajancanadianbillionairebloodbloodsuckercaribbeancomedycomedyhorrorcontemporarylitdiversediversityfunnyhumorlolpaidstoriesparanormaltwilightvampirevampireacademyvampiresvampirewerewolfwerewolfwpsn22
    This story contains Extras.Learn more.
    Table of contents
    • INTRODUCTION TO SEASON 1: THE REVAMP
      Mon, Mar 21, 2022
    • 1. My Own Worst Enemy
      Mon, Jun 1, 2020
    • 2. Friends in Low Places
      Sat, Sep 26, 2020
    • 3. This Ain't No Chick Flick
      Thu, Jun 4, 2020
    • 4. Jaime's Infinite Playlist
      Fri, Jun 5, 2020
    • 5. Sic Transit Gloria
      Tue, Jan 25, 2022
    • 6. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life
      Mon, Mar 28, 2022
    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Talented Mr. Smith
      Mon, Mar 28, 2022Locked
    • 7. It's a Bitter Sweet Symphony
      Mon, Apr 4, 2022
    • 8. Drunken Shenanigans and Formidable Thighs
      Mon, Apr 11, 2022
    • 9. The Chapter With the Sex
      Mon, Apr 18, 2022
    • 10. The Beautiful People
      Mon, Apr 25, 2022
    • 11. Life, Death and Everything In Between
      Mon, May 2, 2022
    • 12. So I Might Be a Vampire
      Mon, May 9, 2022
    • 13. Everything You Know is a Lie
      Mon, May 16, 2022
    • 14. Doctor, Doctor
      Tue, May 24, 2022
    • 15. Enemies Make the Best Friends
      Tue, May 31, 2022
    • 16. Run, Run, Here Comes the Sun
      Mon, Jun 6, 2022
    • 17. Monsters in Expensive Suits
      Tue, Jun 14, 2022
    • 18. All Hail, The Drunken King
      Tue, Jun 21, 2022
    • 19. The Nemesis and the Lady
      Tue, Jul 5, 2022
    • 20. Guys Like Me
      Tue, Jul 5, 2022
    • END OF SEASON 1
      Wed, Jul 6, 2022
    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Undeniable Beatrice Whatever (1 of 3)
      Thu, Jul 7, 2022Locked
    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Unforgettable Beatrice Whatever (2 of 3)
      Thu, Jul 7, 2022Locked
    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Return of Beatrice (3 of 3)
      Thu, Jul 7, 2022Locked
    • PANIC AT THE DISCO: An Amazon Prime PANIC Bonus Chapter
      Mon, May 24, 2021

    Get notified when How Not to Vampire - Season 1 is updated

    OR

    If you already have an account,

    By continuing, you agree to Wattpad's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
    Vampiring is HARD.
        
        Things Bob has on his checklist when he accidentally becomes a vampire: a) forget everything he knows about vampires b) Google vampire survival tactics c) don't get brutally murdered by vampires.
        
        Apparently there are vampire LAWS, and Bob, a young, romantically-challenged black man living in Toronto, never got the guidebook. Even though it's not his fault that he's broken every rule, a secret vampire society is hellbent on giving him a more permanent death. With the help of his best pal, Claude, Bob tries to stay alive and hopefully turn around his screwed-up existence in the process.
        
        This is a FREE story with Paid Exclusive Chapters.
        Wattys 2022 Shortlist
        Wattpad Stormy Nights - Winner
        
        20 CHAPTERS only on Wattpad
        [[word count: 50,000-75,000 words]]
        
        EXCERPT:
        ******
        "Look: vampires are traditionally afraid of religious symbols. It's a well-known fact. If you're any kind of vampire, you should be outta here by now, not just sitting there drinking your coffee."
        
        "I'm not actually drinking it yet. Some idiot keeps interrupting me by shoving religious symbols in my face."
        
        Claude held up an ornate brass cross with a macabre Jesus Christ in the throes of death, designed to repel any nearby vampires.
        
        "Oh look," I said dryly, "the idiot's back."
        
        ******
        
        Edited by Debra Goelz
        Cover model: Ariel Pacheco
        Cover Photo by: Theik Smith
        Cover designed by: Rodney V. Smith
        
        Want more? JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/brxdsA9
        
        Jaime's Infinite Playlist (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DfPirPYtLKwEeSQ1upKZY?si=NhEhkcsIQOOpb7kKXIXWNw
        Book Playlist: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/jaimes-infinite-playlist/pl.u-JPVJCEXxXYv
    This story contains Extras.Learn more.

    27 parts

    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Unforgettable Beatrice Whatever (2 of 3)
      Thu, Jul 7, 2022Locked
    • Exclusive Chapter
      BONUS: The Return of Beatrice (3 of 3)
      Thu, Jul 7, 2022Locked
    • PANIC AT THE DISCO: An Amazon Prime PANIC Bonus Chapter
      Mon, May 24, 2021
    Content Guidelines
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