For the next few days Anna was forced to stay indoors. She didn't really agree with all these precautions, but gave in to the pressure of her adoptive parents, who were strongly supported by Kazuki. They did all the work now, at the same time keeping an eye on any potential danger. Kazuki even did some patrolling, just in case somebody was lurking nearby.
Of course, there was nothing to find.
Anna was both annoyed and relieved. But at least this meant that there was no danger and she would be able to resume her routine.
A few days had passed...
During the morning meal they were discussing the work that needed to be done that day, when Anna unexpectedly felt a bit queasy. With a measure of annoyance, but also with some concern she tried to remember what she had eaten the previous day. But soon the queasiness turned into nausea and she was forced to run outside. Only with a great effort she managed to hold on to the contents of her stomach until she was out of everyone's sight. Then she was violently sick. Again and again.
When she returned to the house they all looked at her with concern. She was a bit pale, but tried to turn it into a joke. "It must have been the fish Kazuki caught yesterday... It must have been very old and I got the worst bit."
They smiled, well used to these two constantly teasing each other. There was nothing more to say and the subject was dropped.
But the same thing happened the next morning. Anna was sick without any obvious reason. This drew some worried looks, but she tried to reassure them.
"It's nothing! I must have eaten something. I will be fine tomorrow."
But her sickness returned the next morning... and the next...
"My child." Haha decided to speak to her. She chose a time when both the men were out fishing. "You must realise what's happening."
"What are you talking about?!" Anna had been quite irritable these past few days.
"Kazuki-San and you have grown very close recently..." She left the sentence hanging.
"What has Kazuki to do with it?!" Lottie exclaimed. "He is supposed to protect me, not poison me!..." Her voice dropped off, an understanding finally dawned on her.
Never before had it worried her, although, of course, she knew that being intimate with a man had consequences. When she thought about it now, it seemed obvious... She was with child.
"Bloody hell! What shall I do NOW?!" She wrinkled her nose.
"Does he know?" The old woman seemed quite pleased with the news.
"Who?" Anna's mind was preoccupied with planning what to do.
"Kazuki-San."
"Oh..." Anna finally realised what her adoptive mother was thinking. "It's not Kazuki's." She confessed, a little embarrassed for some reason.
"Hmmm..." With the intuition of her age and experience, the old woman guessed the truth. "It's Lord Takeda's, yes?"
"Yes." Anna confirmed. "But I don't want you to say anything. To anyone!"
"You are going to hide it from him?"
"He cannot know! Or anybody else!..." At that moment the door opened, as the men returned home.
The old woman only nodded briefly, acknowledging Anna's request. She would not say anything.
Anna thought about it the whole day, trying to decide what to do. But it wasn't an easy decision. She was quite surprised with the dispassionate way she treated this problem. As if she was considering somebody else's life.
First of all, she needed to decide if she wanted to keep it at all.
She knew there were ways a woman could get rid of an unwanted pregnancy. But her skin crawled when she thought about it. She closed her eyes and recalled Hikaru's face... She smiled. She wanted to have his child. She would always have something of him. No matter where she was.
But then she couldn't stay here!
She would be happy to stay with her adoptive parents, with the only family she had left. She was sure they would help her. But she wouldn't be able to hide the parentage of her baby. And what fate awaited a half-breed?
It was all right for her to decide to live in poverty and physical work. But it was something else to subjugate an innocent child to this kind of life. It would never have a chance to leave this village. It would not have a chance to see the world. To learn anything. Did she have any right to make such a decision? Could she live with the knowledge that, although on both sides descended from aristocracy, it was forced to a life of obscurity?
For a long time she struggled to make a decision. But she was sure about one thing: Hikaru could never learn about it. He would have tried to do 'the right thing' and take care of them both, but it would be too dangerous for him. His enemies would certainly use it against him.
In the evening, after the meal, which she didn't even touch, Anna sneaked out to go back to her usual spot on the beach. She missed the peace the sea had always given her.
Kazuki followed almost immediately, not willing to leave her alone. "My Lady." He let her know his presence.
"Kazuki, please, let me stay." She assumed he would want her to return indoors. "I need to think."
He just nodded and made to turn away, but she stopped him.
"Could you sit with me, please?... I would like to talk."
He sat opposite and waited.
It took her a long time to find the right words. "Kazuki, I don't know how I upset you on the boat, but... I need you to forget it and be my friend again. I must make an important decision."
He nodded again, but remained silent.
"You have probably guessed the reason behind my... illness?" Her face was flushed red with embarrassment.
"You are with child." He said quietly, not betraying his opinion on the subject.
"Yes. And now I must decide what to do..."
"It is My Lord's right to know!" He cut her off.
"No! He cannot ever learn about it!" There was steel in her voice.
"But how do you expect to hide it? Everybody will know about a mixed child."
"Yes." She agreed. "I have been thinking about it... And I have decided to leave."
"Where would you go?"
"I will return south. To Shimoda. The Americans have the rights to trade there. Soon their ships will come and I will be able to leave Japan."
"Why would you wish to conceal it from Lord Takeda?"
"It is too dangerous for him to be linked with Gai-Jin. Besides, I don't want my child to grow up here, treated as an outcast."
"Will it be different in your country?" He looked at her quizzically.
"Probably not." She smiled with grim humour. "But at least nobody will try to behead us."
"We could say it was my child." He offered suddenly.
She was taken by surprise at that. "Why would you do it?" She stammered.
"Because you can't leave! He loves you!" Kazuki was unable to stop his outburst. "He would like to know."
"If Lord Takeda wanted me back in his life, he would have sent for us a long time ago." She said with sadness. "I am sure you have notified him of our whereabouts."
"How..."
"I have guessed." She shrugged. "That's what I would have done. Let us not complicate his life..." She sighed, finally making a decision. "We will leave tomorrow. If you will agree to accompany me." She was looking at him, a little unsure of the reply.
"Ana-San, my orders are still the same. But even without them, I will always protect you."
"Thank you, Kazuki-San." She inclined her head in gratitude. "You are a good friend."
He just nodded to that, suddenly unable to find anything to say.
They returned to the house and Anna announced her decision to leave the next morning. Her adoptive parents were heartbroken, but they did not dare to protest.
Their farewell was painful, because they all realised they would never see each other again.
"Please, forgive me." Anna bowed to them. "I promised to take care of you, but now I am abandoning you again."
"My child, you must do what is right for you." Haha embraced her. "You have only brought joy to our lives. And with Kazuki-San accompanying you we are sure you will be safe..." She was unable to continue, choked by tears.
"May Buddha protect you." Otōsan also embraced her with deep emotion. "And your child."
She wiped away her own tears and bowed one last time. Then she gritted her teeth, squared her shoulders and turned away from them.
Kazuki bowed slightly and followed Anna, leading his horse.
They walked, side by side, until they disappeared behind a bend in the road.
The old couple wiped away their tears and returned to work. There was nothing else to do now.