"It's okay, Elle. We'll just clean it up." Draco tried to comfort. I frantically shook my head.
"No, no it's not!" I covered my face, sobbing. We were at the market, looking at some fresh fruit for me to eat while we were at the Apothicary since I was having cravings. But while I had been looking at a watermellon, I had dropped it and it had fallen to the ground. As it hit, it burst open, throwing bits of pink fruit all over out feet. People walking buy were looking at us curiously, if not a little annoyed.
"Yes, it is. We will just pay for it and clean it up. Come on." He took my hand and tried to pull me towards the paying counter. I tried to pull away from him.
"No! No! No!" By this point most people were stopped and staring at us, which made me even more uncomfortable. I knew I was being silly, and I wanted to calm down, but I just couldn't. My Bi-polar brain combined with my new Pregnant horomones were to much for me to overcome. So, I gave in, and just stood there with my hands over my face, sobbing.
"Is there a problem, Miss?" The shop keeper came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I pulled atay from him and gripped onto Draco's shirt, pressing my face into his neck.
"I'm sorry. We busted a watermelon. We will pay for it and leave. She's a little...." He searched for the right word." Emeotional."
"A little?" The Shopkeeper questioned.
"Well, a lot. Can we just pay so we can go." It was obvious that Draco did not like that remark.
"Yes, sir. That's a Galleon." The Shopkeeper stuck his hend out. Although that was a little much for a watermellon, Draco didn't argue. He worked his way around my body and into his pocket to pull out the coin and put it in the man's hand. "A Pleaser doing business with you."
"Yeah, pleasure." Draco mumbled, and the man went off. Draco waved his wand, and the mess disapeared. Then he put his arm around me. "See, was that so bad?"
"Yes...."
"Come on, let's go back to the shop." He began leading me down the street. We walked over the covvlestone until we madae it to the Apothicary, all the way Draco was giving me reassureing remarks.
When we entered, the shop was almost empty. Lucius spotted us from behind the counter and came over. I let go of Draco and latched onto him.
"What' happened?" He asked, putting a hand on top of my head.
"Nothing. We just dropped a watermelon." Draco replied.
"There's no need to cry over spilled milk, Elle." Lucius tried to comfort.
"No, this was a watermelon. I spilled the milk this morning, remember?"
"It's an expression. My point is there's no need to get so worked up over something like this. The shop keeper didn't make a big deal over it, did he?"
"He gave us a little lip, but besides that he was fine with it." Draco informed.
"See? No harm done."
"Mr. Malfoy? I am ready to check out, if you don't mind. You can take your time." A woman with a clean, blind bob haircut informed. I didn'tk now her name, but I reconised her as one the regulars.
"Is it your usua?" Lucius looked over at her.
"Yes?"
"Just leave the money on the couner and I'll get it."
"Alrighty then. Thanks." The woman slipped the vials into her bag and started towards the door. "What's wrong, Elle?" She stopped when she got to us. I squeezed Lucius harder: I didn't like that she knew my name but I didn't know hers.
"Yes, she's fine, just shaken up." Lucius answered.
"Well, I hope you feel better soon." The woman smiled, then went the rest of the way out the door. Lucius looked down at me.
"Would you like to go home?"
"But I don't want to be alone..." Narcissa had left for the week to visit her sister, so the only person there was Gumby, and he didn't count as a person.
"Draco can stay with you. It's a slow day anyway."
"No, I... I think I want to go to Mungo's. I think I want to talk to Healer Phillips."
"Oh?" He seemed very surprised by this. "You do?"
"Yeah..."I didn't feel right. It was probaby my rageing horomones, but all of my emotions felt intensified. I needed to talk some stuff out.
"Well... I guess that's okay. Draco can take you." He looked over at his son.
"Yeah, we can go now." He shook his head yes.
"Okay, then. You can do that. Just Floo me later if you decide to stay there and not come to dinner .I was thinking we could go out tonight."
"Got it." Draco nodded, then lead me to the back. Since I could side-along-Apparate while Pregnant, we had to Floo. He took the jar down form the mantal and threw it into the fire. It turned green, he said the address, then pulled me through.
He nodded at the familiar woman at the front desk, then started leading me into the Psychiatric Ward. We went down the hallway, then finally to Healer Philips door. He knocked on it. There was a couple beats, and then it opened.
"Oh, Mrs. Malfoy. Is everything okay?"
"I... I want to talk to you..." I sniffed. My tears had finally started to dry up, and I wiped what was left on my sleeve.
"About what?"
"I just want to talk..."
"Well, then. That's fine. Do you want Draco in here with us or out here?"
"Out here..." I looked up at Draco, then et go of him and went through the door, pushing past Healer Phillips. Draco watched me for a minute, then shrugged.
"Well, I guess I'm going to her room, then." He sighed, then went down the hall. Healer Phillips turned to me and closed the door.
"Is everything going alright? Nothing is hurting?"
"Well... Yeah, I guess..." I plopped down onto the black, leather sofa. Now that the crying was finished, a heavy pang of depression was taking over in my chest.
"Did something happen today to make you upset?" He crossed to his chair.
"Well.. I spilled my milk this morning, and... and the watermelon earlier. It splattered everywhere... Then I cried. Everyone stared at me. And the shopkeeper was mean and the woman knew me but I didn't know her...."
"I don't understand what your talking about. You need to slow down and clamly explain to me what you mean."
"I just..." I stopped to swollow. "I just don't feel like me. I'm sick every morning and I'm tired all the time and when I'm sad it's ten times worse than usual. I just want to feel better again." I started to cry. He handed me a hanky.
"You're not used to only taking one Combination a day, and your body is changing. Your hormones are doing thing right now, and it's making you more emotional than usual. Once you have the baby, things will start to hopefully go back to normal."
"Hopefully?" I questioned. "You mean there's a change I won't?"
"Well, there is a chance for Postpartum Depression, or even Postpartum Psychosis."
"What does that mean?"
"It means once you have the baby, your horomones made your emotions do other things while they're trying to get back to normal."
"So I can get crazier?!" I burst out into sobs. He hopped up.
"No, no. Not crazier. You arne't crazy. You ahve a serious medical contiiton that is not your faut. And all of this is normal for pregnacy. People with a totally healthy mental history can experience this."
"But... but... it's not fair!"
"What's not fair?"
"I don't know!"
"Try to calm down Mrs. Malfoy. Have you eaten lunch yet?"
"I... yes... But then I got hungry again anad we were going to get some fruit. That was when I dropped the watermelon."
"Do you want something to eat? I can send for you something."
"No." I looked down. After all of that I had competly lost my appititte.
"Are you sure? Have you been eating the way you should be?"
"Yes... "
"Are you lying to me?"
"No. You can ask Lucius." My tears started to dry up. Healer Phillips cleared his throat.
"Well then. Is everything going okay with you and Draco? You've kept your temper together well?"
"Uh-huh..." It was the truth. We still argued every now and then, but atleast I hadn't punched him since the Diagon Aley inccodent.
"Very good. So all that's bumming you out is the mood swings?"
"Uh-huh." I said again.
"Well, there's nothing I can really do for that but put you back on Combinations, and we don't want to do that for the baby's sake. If you feel that it is really a danger, than we can keep you here for monitering. Would you like to do that?"
"No... I like staying at home."
"I know you do. You worked very hard to get there, and I don't want to pull you from the privilige either." He coughed again. I looked down, trying to see my feet, but only seeing my stomach. Although I was only a little past four monthes, I was big. I could barely see my toes. "So, did you really only come here to talk, or was there another reason?"
"No, I just wanted to talk." I truthfully replied.
"Everything feels okay? In your stomach and things?"
"Well, my feet anf fingers have started to swell, but other than that.."
"Everything seems normal?"
"Yes..."
"Well, then. I hate to rush you out, but I have some things I need to take care of before dinner tonight. Are you well enough to go back your room on your own?"
"Yeah..." I took a deep breath and used the arm of the couch to pull myself up. As I did this, the sharp pain I had been having zig-zagged around my lower somach, and bounced into my lower back. I stiffened and let out an autible breath.
"IS everything okay, Mrs. Malfoy?"
"Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine." I forced myself to say through gritted teeth. He got up, but before he could get to me the pain subsided. I stood up straight.
"Did something hurt?"
"No. I just had, a, uh... cramp. Sitting to long, you know." I wasn't sure why I lied about it, but something inside me said that I shouldn't tell him the truth. He looked at me for a moment or two, waiting for me to say soemthing else, but I didn't. Finally, he went to the door and opened it.
"Alright. If you need me, you know where I'll be. I will be seeing you tonight at Group Session?"
"Yes." I nodded, going through the doorway.
"Goodbye, Mrs. Malfoy." He nodded, then closed the door. I turned and started down the hallway, only to run into another familiar face.
"Hey, Elle." Chase smiled, looking me up and down. "Wow. I didn't notice how pregnant you looked until now, when you're standing up. You look like a whale!"
"Er, thanks..." I crossed my arms, trying to cover my stomach. It was really a lost cause.
"So, what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be at home?"
"I wanted to talk to Healer Phillips." I informed.
"Oh. Fun. I was just going to see him to get him to sign these." He held up a stack of papers.
"What are those?"
"Release forms." He grinned.
"What? You're going home?"
"Yes. I was suppose to go home months ago, but then the ivy thing happened..."
"Oh, yeah. Well, good job. You are coming back for Group Session, right?"
"Oh, yeah. Of course I am. Just not tonight. I'm spending tonight along with my Mum and her home-made chocolate cake."
"Well, I hope you have fun." A smile spread across my face.
"Oh, I will." He started walking again. 'But I've got to get going. Hey, Maybe you can come visit me one day at my house."
"Yeah, maybe." I laughed. "When I'm less pregnant."
He let out a loud snort, then went the rest of the way down the hall. I did the same, with a natural smile on my face.