I heard the sheets rustling in the middle of the night, and it woke me from my slumber. After I blinked rapidly a few times to focus my vision, I looked over at the digital alarm clock on my bedside table. 3:30 a.m. Aish. The room was illuminated in the dull yellow light that my desk lamp gives off. What is Jimin doing up so early? I said his name, my voice raspy, and looked over at him. "Where are you going?" The boy turned to me with a soft smile upon his features.
Slowly, he approached the edge of the bed and squatted before running his hand through my disheveled locks. Instinctively, my eyes shut. "Nowhere, Hyung," he said reassuringly. "Just go back to sleep." When he started to stand up, I grabbed ahold of whatever my hand could reach, which happened to be his fingers. Jimin understood my silent plea for him to lay with me, and he crawled onto the bed and settled down beside me. I frowned slightly at the fact that he wasn't under the covers with me. Oh well. I slipped my arms around his torso snuggling close to his warm, clothed body.
"Don't go anywhere," I mumbled as I rested my head on his chest. He waited a moment before telling me to go back to sleep again. I shrugged the hesitation off. He's probably just sleepy, like me. Deeply inhaling his scent, I focused on counting his heartbeats and drifted off. Right before I slipped into an unconscious state, I could have sworn I heard him whisper a small, 'I'm sorry.'
When I woke up again, it was only 6 a.m. I groaned and squeezed Jimin, who seemed much softer and colder than a human being should be. Wait... My eyes shot open and I stared, mortified at the sight of a pillow in my arms. Last night... what was he doing?
"Jimin?" I sat up and turned on the lamp on my nightstand. "Jimin?" He wasn't anywhere in my room. Our clothes were strewn all over the place now. Since when did a twister blow through my room? Last night... what was he doing?
The words 'Just go back to sleep' played on repeat in my mind. I yelled his name louder as I scrambled to my feet at lightning speed, even though my legs were still half-asleep. I dashed out of the room and ran right into my worried mother, her face still puffy from sleep. "Hoseok-ah? Why are you yelling? What's going on?"
"Have you seen Jimin?"
"No, why?"
"I lost him." And with that I walked around her and ran all throughout the house, frantically searching every room from top to bottom, looking for any signs of that black haired boy. Nothing. I called out his name again and again. Nothing. And again. Still nothing.
Something was definitely wrong. He seemed off after our little getaway and then there was his odd behavior last night. Panic officially took over my rational state of mind and I bolted out the front door. I heard my mom calling my name as I flung myself out into the dark morning, but I paid her no mind. All I wanted in that moment was Park Jimin.
I carelessly sprinted in the direction of his house whilst calling out for him, bumping into a few people who were out walking their dog or heading to work. I wound up slamming directly into a man that was walking the opposite direction. He fell on his butt and rolled onto his hands and knees almost immediately. His suitcase busted open in the grass, which was still wet with dew.
Unlike everyone else I bumped into, this guy didn't curse me out or give me a dirty look. He didn't utter a single word and didn't offer me a single glance. I would help him out, but I don't have time. Finding Jimin is my top priority. I hurtled over the man's small figure and shouted a quick apology without looking back.
I made it to the Park's residence in record time. I reached into my pocket only to find that my pocket wasn't there. I didn't even think to put pants on, and I didn't bring my key. Damn it. Not caring about what time it was, I began pounding my fists against the door. I prayed that the noise would wake his parents, and my prayers were answered. When his appa came to the door, his lips moved, but I didn't hear a thing he said. Instead, I pushed past him and rushed into his house.
Jimin's room didn't just look emptier than before, it felt emptier than before. I opened the top drawer of his dresser where he keeps his socks and underwear. More than half of the contents were missing. This can't be happening. I open the next one with a little too much force, and I accidentally unhinged it. The drawer rammed into my shins, and my eyes brimmed with tears. I didn't tear up because of the pain, but because his favorite t-shirts were missing. I went to his closet and found that most of his jeans were gone. Why is this happening?
I checked the bathroom. There was no comb, toothbrush, or toothpaste. Our framed selfie was no longer on the corner of the sink. I frantically called his name as I searched the place inside and out while his parents watched me with dumbfounded expressions. Tell me this is a dream... I need to wake up.
My entire world came crashing down like the giant wave of a tsunami. The room spun and the walls closed in around me. My vision blurred with tears and bile burned in my throat. My whole body shook violently with every sob I choked back. Jimin... I began to scream with all my might because maybe, just maybe, he'll miraculously hear me and come back. "Jimin!"
Once my lungs gave out, my legs followed suit. On my hands and knees, I choked and spluttered on thick, mucousy saliva. The inside of my heaving chest burned as if someone was grilling my lungs, and my abdomen throbbed like I'd done way too many sit-ups. I perspired like a marathon runner, some beads of sweat mingling with my tears and snot. Black dots littered my vision and I knew I was going down. I used the last bit of air that I had to whimper 'Jimin, come back' before everything went black.
¤~¤~~¤~¤
I woke up in an uncomfortable hospital bed. The light blue hospital gown clung to my moist skin just like my hair stuck to my forehead, for my entire body was drenched in sweat. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Why am I here?
Fluorescent overhead lights filled the room with an ambience that was just too damn white. There was a navy blue bench beneath the window that sat against the wall to my left. The blinds on that window were closed. The walls were a light cream while the floor was made up of ugly white tiles with grey specks. A muted television hung in the corner near the window. Some old black and white movie was playing.
Monitors sat on the left side of my bed. One beeped steadily as it measured my heartbeat through a clamp on my ring finger. There was also a bag of clear fluids that hung from an IV pole. The liquid flowed through a tube to a needle that was stuck in the bend of my arm.
The right side of the small room was where the door was located, along with three chairs, one of which my mother sat on. She had it pulled up next to my bed. Only then did I realize that she was holding my hand tightly between the two of hers; her forehead resting on top of them. I twitched my fingers and she shot her head up. Tearful eyes bore into my soul; they looked hopeful and desperate and tired. Has she been getting enough sleep?
We held eye contact for a moment. She seemed paralyzed like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Suddenly, I was engulfed in a long, motherly embrace. "Thank God you woke up," she whispered along with a sigh of relief. I reached my arms up and hugged her back as best I could. "You've been out of it for two days. I was so worried." I frowned. Two days? Why?
We didn't break from our hug until a doctor came in with a clipboard. "Good to see he's awake now," she said. Her voice made it sound like she cared, but her face remained stone cold. She started to say something else, but I tuned it out. I didn't really care what she had to say. Instead I looked around the room again. Something is off.
After the doctor left, I looked at Eomma and asked, "Where's Jimin?" She didn't have to answer. The apologetic expression on her face said it all. My memory was triggered. The morning when my world came to an abrupt stop entered the forefront of my mind. It really wasn't a dream after all.
Suddenly, a pair of investigators entered the room. The shorter of the two men looked like he would be labelled a bad cop while the other one looked like his taller but dumber sidekick. The officer probably introduced himself, but I wasn't listening. "We'd like to ask you some questions," Bad Cop said. His voice was deep and groggy, but he didn't look tired. I didn't get a good look at the other man. He left as soon as he came, taking my mom with him and shutting the door. "Can you walk?"
I shrugged. I don't really want to walk, but I'm not going to say that. He came to my side and held his hand out for me to take. I guess I have no choice. I threw the blankets off of me and shivered. Being sweaty in the cold is the worst. Deciding not to be stubborn, I took his hand and slid off the bed and onto my feet. I thought I'd be fine, but my first step was wobbly. I wound up holding onto the man's whole arm for dear life as he paced the room with me until I was walking normally. "Get some clothes on. It's better if we talk at the station," he said before exiting the room.
Before they could get me to the station, the doctor told them to hold off on the questions for a week so that I can adjust to the news: Jimin went missing. They didn't like it, but they respected the doctor's order. The doctor did a little physical to make sure I was okay and then my Eomma took me home.
The car ride was silent, but it wasn't awkward. She drove with her left hand and held my hand tightly in her right, as if she was afraid that if she loosened her grip, I'd disappear. We remained silent when we got home. Appa was at the door before Eomma could pull out her keys, and he embraced the two of us in the biggest bear hug I've ever experienced.
Once we were inside, Appa lead me to his office and shut the door behind us. His voice wasn't deep, but it wasn't high either. It was in the middle of the two, and very scratchy. "Don't scare me like that again," he said. I nodded. He sat down in his big office chair and patted his lap.
I was confused at first. After all, I'm not a kid anymore. That's what I wanted to say so badly. I wanted to tell him that I'm too old, that he's too old, to be doing things like this. Back before Jimin came into my life, we used to do this. I used to run into his lap with my problems. I'm grown now and this isn't what I wanted, so I stared at him blankly.
"Come here," he coaxed, gesturing for me to sit in his lap. I only did it to please him. I sat on his thigh awkwardly, which he rolled his eyes at. The man scared me half to death when he scooped me up, one arm under my knees and one arm on my back, his big hand holding my head. I felt like a vulnerable little baby.
"Listen, I know things are going to be a bit bumpy for a little while, but I'll always be around if you need me. I didn't buy you a phone so that you can keep in touch with your friends; I got it so that you could always have a way to contact me or your mother." I nodded and examined his face. He hasn't shaved recently and he looked exhausted. He had dark circles under his tired, bloodshot eyes. I felt bad that my parents lost sleep over me. He sighed and let a relieved smile show on his aged face. "I'm just so happy you're okay," he said and held me close to his chest.
But Appa... I'm not okay.
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Not sure if anyone still reads this story but I figured it's about time to wrap it up lol.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for not updating in a timely manner like I should have.
There's probably about 2 or 3 chapters left now. Let me know what you think?
-Author-nim