"I'm sorry."
In the four years that my dad used me as his personal punching bag, I had never heard those words come from him. He had never apologised, not once, for continuously hurting me. He had never apologised for making me fear him, for making every step feel as though I was being stabbed repeatedly. It was like an apology was no longer something he remembered how to do, something he didn't even want to do.
It was because of that that I was unable to actually reply, gawking at him in absolute silence. I half expected him to burst into hysterical laughter and tell me that he wasn't sorry at all. That would have made more sense. That would have made a whole lot more sense than him actually apologising - and seeming to mean it too.
I think that shocked me the most. The fact that he had apologised after all this time, after so much had happened. I just had no idea what to say. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I wasn't prepared for this conversation, not in the slightest.
That in itself was a ridiculous thought. The fact I could face hybrids and not my own dad was ridiculous because the latter was so much less dangerous now. Yet as I stood there in front of him, more than aware that I was alone in the house with him, it was like I was a human living in constant fear all over again.
What the hell?
"You have every reason to doubt me," He started to speak when he realised I was too stunned to say anything. "But I mean it. I am sorry."
"Don't you think you're a little too late?" I asked softly, smiling sadly. I was angry, far too angry but I managed to contain it. Yelling wouldn't make me feel any better about the situation, after all. "The right time to have apologised would have been the first time you hit me, not after all this time..."
He sighed, turning on his heel and heading over to the sofa and sitting back down. I followed after him and he motioned for me to sit down too but I remained standing, waiting for him to speak again. I took solace in the fact Vince was only outside and would burst back in through the door if he thought the conversation was taking a negative turn. It didn't matter that I was a vampire now because I still wasn't sure I could hurt him if it came down to it.
Pathetic, I know.
"Violet," His expression turned pleading as he glanced up at me. "I... there are no words to... I mean, I know I wasn't... shit, this is hard."
"I didn't come here to talk about the past," I said. "I only came to tell you about mum."
"But the things I did to you... I was too far gone. I was just so hurt and so so angry that I-" He broke off suddenly and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. The look of remorse stunned me all over again because it wasn't something I ever expected to see. "I'm sorry, Violet. I'm so so sorry."
"Sorry doesn't mean a thing anymore." I took a shaky breath before continuing. "You always used to call me your angel. Your perfect little angel that brightened up your life. But you broke me. You broke me into little tiny pieces and I just- I can't forgive you for that..."
"You'll always be my angel." He spoke softly, wiping his eyes. "But even though I put you through hell, you look... well, you look better. Happier. You're not broken, you never have been."
"No thanks to you." I couldn't help but say. His words reminded me of what Shadow had said to me all those months ago, that even broken wings could fly away, that I wasn't broken and never had been and that I'd only been lost. The fact they'd both said the same thing was difficult for me because it would have been so much easier for me to cope if my dad had never felt guilty at all. "All I was to you was a punching bag... You even threw a knife at me once! How could I ever forgive you for the things you put me through? How?!"
"I don't expect you to."
I shook my head. "I can't do this. Nothing you will say can change the past. You made me fear my own home, dad! The one place I was supposed to be safest suddenly became my own personal hell and I can never forgive you for that. I lived in a constant state of fear, not knowing if you'd eventually snap and kill me-"
"I would never have gone that far!" He snapped, getting to his feet and taking a quick step towards me. Automatically, as if by instinct, I took one back. "I couldn't... I wouldn't have done that."
"I never thought you'd lay your hands on me and look how that turned out." A tear streamed down my face as the memories invaded my mind. Everything just came flooding back. The nights I spent crying myself to sleep, wondering if things were ever going to get better. The endless pain. The torture he put me through every time he punched me or kicked me when I was down. I could barely cope with the onslaught of memories and I took another step away as a sob wracked my body. "I-I'm sorry but I can't... I just can't."
I looked at him one last time, seeing the helpless expression on his face, before I turned and ran from the room, heading straight to the front door. Flinging it open, I continued running-
Right into Vince's arms. I buried my head in his chest as I struggled to contain my emotions, his arms wrapped around me tightly. He would have heard everything that had been said in there so he knew I needed comforting.
"Just say the word," Vince told me. "Just say the word and I will go in there and inflict so much pain on him, he'll be a quivering wreck for the rest of his miserable life."
He was deadly serious about his threat and I couldn't help but smile upon hearing it. "Thanks but that's not necessary."
"Can I at least go in there and throw him around a little?" He asked, pulling back to look at me with a hopeful expression. "For my own peace of mind."
I shook my head with a small smile. "Let's just go."
***
Vince ended up taking me to a bar. To drown my sorrows, he claimed, though I suspected he just wanted a drink himself.
It was strange, being alone with Vince. There had always been someone with us, whether it be the whole group or just Marl. So at first, it was a little awkward, though seemingly only on my part because Vince was his usual, crazy self. He didn't let things stay awkward and uncomfortable.
"I am being serious, I could be done in an hour at the most." Vince spoke, eyes alight in mischief. He had been trying to persuade me to let him go back to visit my dad and no matter how much I told him that it wasn't worth it, he was convinced it had to be done.
I got the feeling that he just wanted someone to torture and knowing about what my dad had put me through just made him the obvious target. I was, in a weird sort of way, flattered that he seemed to care enough to want to torture him but I still wasn't going to let it happen.
"You're not going to torture him." I told him sternly, like I was speaking to a child and not a fully grown man.
"Nobody would hear his screams."
"That's not the point." I responded dryly.
"Then what is it?" He asked curiously. "Violet, you cannot tell me that you still care about this man. He put through some unspeakable things and you are not angry at him in the slightest. I do not understand."
"Neither do I." I muttered. "It's not like I care about him but at the same time, he is still my family. Does that make sense? As much as I hate him for what he did to me, he is still my family."
Vince observed me silently for a moment or two before he nodded his head. "It is understandable."
"Thank you for coming to find me though," I spoke sincerely, smiling at him before turning to look at the glass of wine I held in my hands. I wouldn't usually drink wine but Vince insisted, telling me it would help. "That was a lot harder than I thought it would be."
"You and I, Violet, have something in common." He said, his hands clenching into fists as he stared straight ahead. "We both have been treated awfully by someone that was suppose to care about us."
"Viktor?"
Vince nodded. "What has Shadow told you of his life with my brother?"
"Not much, to be honest. He refuses to talk about it."
"I suspected as much but he has good reason." Vince told me. Sighing, he said, "Viktor was psychotic. He turned Shadow into a vampire with the intention to create a pet. Someone to do his dirty work for him, someone to order around, to abide by his every command without question. Nobody was safe from Shadow or my brother. Men, women, children... they were all at risk. Shadow had gone from an innocent human who wanted to help people to draining thousands of victims, torturing hundreds for information Viktor sought. He truly had become Viktor's puppet."
"Why did Shadow go along with it?" I asked, not liking the thought of Shadow being able to murder a child without feeling any guilt at all.
"He didn't at first." Vince chuckled, as though he was picturing it all in his mind. "He fought so hard against my brother, tried to kill him on several occasions but they all failed."
"So what changed?"
"The hatred Shadow felt towards Viktor was still there, of course, but he did feel like he owed him some loyalty for turning him into a vampire. Shadow was the complete opposite of what he had been like when he had been a human but he liked his new life. So he started becoming more interested in the things he could do, especially when he found out he had the ability to heal wounds. Viktor had been ecstatic about finding out that piece of information, as you can probably imagine."
"Not really." I admitted. From what I had heard about Viktor, he didn't strike me as the type of person to care about the ability to heal wounds, not unless it was his own.
"Shadow showed promise. He had potential. So for Viktor to find out he had the ability to heal wounds, no matter how large, he knew he had found something special in him. It meant he could torture victims even further, push them to their limits and beyond because Shadow would be able to heal them and then he would put them through it all over again."
I gasped. "Why was Viktor like that?"
"I do not know," Vince shook his head grimly. "He changed not long after our father passed. Our mother had died not long after she had given birth to me so it had been just Viktor and I for as long as I can remember. I lived with my brother when he had Shadow under his thumb."
"Was Viktor a hybrid too?" I asked curiously.
"Yes. He loved that he was the most feared creature. How he became one, I do not know and I never cared to ask. I was just a human when Shadow had been turned."
"You were human?!" I wasn't sure why that was so surprising considering he had to have been turned at some point but to hear that he was human during the years with his brother and Shadow really was shocking to me.
"Viktor was the one to make me into what I am today," He spoke bitterly. "I woke up one morning to find that I was strapped to a table. He didn't turn me into a hybrid to ensure I would not die like our parents as I had convinced myself into believing. He did it because he needed a test subject that was human and I was the closest to him at that time."
"Why did you not try to leave?"
"Why did you not try to leave your father?"
I smiled. "Family."
Vince nodded. "I had always been a curious person. It is in my nature to have my head stuck in a book learning all that I can so I stayed with Viktor because I had an unlimited supply of knowledge about the supernatural creatures that linger in the shadows. Admittedly, the search for the grimoire was fascinating to me and I had always wanted to be able to read it."
"So what changed?"
"I was human during the time the three of us went in search of the grimoire. I did not want to be like my brother, however much I cared for him. I saw what it had done to Shadow, how Viktor had molded him into a monster that truly did not care about the lives he ended. I wanted no part of that. I was content with my books." Vince paused momentarily, downing the contents of his drink. Placing the now empty glass on the table, he looked at me and I saw the sadness lingering there. "The second we found that grimoire, I knew then that my human life had come to an end. Viktor had the most powerful spells in his possession, so naturally, he needed someone to experiment on."
The thought made me feel sick.
"Shadow got off lightly with the experiments on account of being the perfect little lapdog." He chuckled darkly, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. As he continued his story, his eyes remained closed and I just that it was all playing out in his mind like a movie. "There were spells in that grimoire for everything. Ones that inflicted great pain upon a person, ones that would result in every bone in a person's body being broken. The ones I endured though, they were... unspeakable. And then the day came that he found the spell that could create another hybrid."
"He used that on you." It wasn't a question because it was fairly obvious what had happened and my previous anger and hatred towards Viktor tripled. The man clearly had no empathy and was as more psychotic than I ever could have imagined.
"Shadow knew how much I hated Viktor for taking so many lives but I never hated Shadow for it. I knew he was being controlled by my brother so how could I possibly hate him? We formed a strong friendship because of my brother and his constant scheming. But one fact remained..."
"You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." I reached over and placed my hand on his, causing his eyes to flash open. The emotion I saw on his expression was enough to have me shaking my head. "Vince, you don't need to tell me anymore. I can see you're still hurting."
"Viktor was a demented, psychotic hybrid who only thought of himself. I endured constant pain because of him, all because he wanted to test how much torture a human could endure before they were unconscious. He put Shadow through the same torture to see the difference between a vampire and a human, all to boost his own agenda. Shadow and I were friends, something Viktor hated because he could never get the undying loyalty from either of us that he wanted. Neither of us were willing to lay down and die for him should the opportunity arise and he did not like that. Eventually, we realised that if we did not do something soon, we would never be free from him. He had a plan, you see, to ensure he could not be killed at all..."
"Vince, stop." I begged. Hearing that both he and Shadow had been tortured was hard enough but to see the expression on his face... I couldn't let him continue. It clearly still affected him and I understood more than ever why Shadow refused to talk about it. I wouldn't want to talk about it either.
It was in that moment that I realised the past cannot truly continue to haunt us unless we give it the power to do so.
"Violet, I want you to know this." Vince assured me, gripping my hand tightly in his as he stared at me, expression softening. "The spell that Viktor wanted so desperately is the very same spell that Benjamin wants."
"Benjamin?" I frowned.
"The hybrid."
"Oh."
"The spell that Viktor wanted would have made him truly immortal. As a hybrid, it is extremely difficult to kill one of us as our senses are sharper and only one weapon works against us but knowing that there was that possibility he could be killed had Viktor on edge. He knew that if Shadow had the chance, he would try again."
"How many times did Shadow try to kill him?" I asked, knowing it must have been a fair amount if Viktor was terrified he would attempt again.
"Too many to remember." He laughed, eyes lighting up. "That was the highlight of those days, seeing Viktor so on edge. It was a rare thing to see my brother afraid but because he had created Shadow in a sense, he knew just what he was capable of."
"So the spell was to make sure that nothing could kill him? Not even the weapon that usually works against hybrids?"
"Smart girl." Vince commented, making me grin. "But yes, that is what the spell would have done. The second we found out, Shadow and I started planning. We had to get rid of my brother, as much as it pained me to admit."
"Do you ever regret that decision?" I couldn't help but ask. If I had let Shadow or Vince kill my dad, I was sure I would end up regretting it because family is still family at the end of the day.
"No." He seemed certain. "Viktor being dead is the best thing to happen in my life. Shadow's too. I know he has never forgiven himself for the things that Viktor made him do."
"Nobody could make Shadow do something he didn't want to do."
Vince shook his head. "You're wrong. Viktor could. You have no idea what he was like and I pray you never meet someone like him, Violet. The majority of the time Shadow obeyed his orders, he was fully compliant. Yet there were times when he refused to go along with something Viktor wanted..."
"What happened then?"
"Viktor looked through the grimoire and found a spell to control another."
"Please tell me you're joking." I said flatly. There couldn't really be spells like that... could there? No wonder the hybrid wanted the grimoire so badly. Even I wanted to be able to read through it properly and I couldn't even read the damn thing.
"Shadow has murdered children, Violet." He spoke slowly, as if to make sure I was hearing him correctly. "Do you honestly believe that he would have done that willingly?"
I paused. I didn't want to believe he was ever capable of such a thing but he had admitted himself that he had been a monster back then.
"He refused to harm an innocent child." Vince went on to say. "So Viktor cast a spell and had full control over him. When Shadow killed those children, he was never in control of his own body and he frequently told me that the experience would haunt him whenever he closed his eyes because he had tried to fight it but was unable to."
"But what about before you found the grimoire? Didn't it take you years to finally track it down?"
"He would abduct children for Viktor but-"
"He abducted children?!" I interrupted him. Now Leah's comment when I'd first met her made sense. She had mentioned him having abducted people before but only now was I realising the extent of it.
"To use as a bargaining chip, yes." Upon seeing the expression on my face, Vince hurried to explain. "He had no choice. He may have enjoyed being able to terrify people but you have no idea what Viktor was like if he was angry. When he was in a good mood, he was psychotic enough but angry? That was a side of him that neither one of us wanted to be around to witness."
"You were both scared of him." I stated. "That's why you went along with him for so long. It wasn't just curiosity or a twisted sense of loyalty, was it? You were both terrified to cross him."
"And yet that still did not stop Shadow from attempting to murder him." Vince shook his head, a smile on his face.
"How did you both manage to stay so long?"
"When Viktor changed Shadow, he made sure to look into the life he had led. Friends, family, everything. As Shadow and I had become friends, I knew all about his life. So when either of us had refused to go along with something, Viktor would threaten someone Shadow cared for. That had been all the incentive we needed to do his bidding."
"Who?" Shadow had never told me any of this and while I couldn't blame him - the things I was hearing was enough to make me fear Viktor without ever having met the man - but I did wish he felt like he could confide in me. To know he had horrors in his past that made mine look like a simple nightmare had me wanting to go back to him just to hold him in my arms.
"His sister, Alessa."
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AN: Finally finished the chapter! It's the longest one yet, I think, so I hope you like it! Let me know what you think of it!