Chapter 57 – Sleep Now, Cariad
I still couldn't believe it. We were back in Morganville. Ciro was dead, which meant I no longer had a target on my back. And Gwion suspected that Lucas might not even be aware that Raven used his resources in an attempt to kill him. Either way, Gwion had decided it was time for him to return to Conwy. He could defend himself much better in that setting, if Lucas was behind the plot to kill him.
Unfortunately, even though he was leaving, he refused to reverse his compulsion over Amelie. He would be thousands of miles away, but she still could not take her power back. I feared what that would do to her. I looked up from where I was seated on the couch in the lab, to see Myrnin materialize through the portal. Anxiety wound through me at his expression. I asked tentatively, "Was Oliver there when you saw Amelie?"
He nodded grimly, his eyes tight.
I hadn't joined him on his visit, because we had agreed that until Amelie could take her power back, it was better for her not to see me. The reminder being too harsh of what she had lost.
"She's not doing well," I guessed softly.
"No, her dominant emotions are anger and despair. We made the right decision in you not going. I'm not sure you're going to be safe around her." His face contorted in pain. Amelie was one of his oldest friends and allies. They had had their moments of conflict, but had always been loyal to each other.
"Oh..." I murmured flatly. It was worse than I thought. I suspected she would not want to see me, but I had not anticipated she might have a death wish for me. "Myrnin, surely she realizes that if she kills me, her powers would be lost forever."
"Logically, she understands that, but logic is not prevailing presently. Her grief is too intense. Right now, I am more concerned she might try to kill herself, rather than live as a half-self, disconnected from her identity."
I inhaled sharply and breathed, "She can't do that."
Myrnin nodded hard. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Of course, I didn't want to see her destroyed, but if she died, I would be stuck with her powers for eternity.
I watched him pace, recognizing his posturing.
"You have a plan, don't you?" I suspected.
"I'm not sure it's a very good one, but given the circumstances and the timing, it may be the only play we have left."
"What is it?" I asked with trepidation. Any strike against Gwion could have serious repercussions, if we were not successful.
Myrnin walked me through the steps of his plan, while I sat there with my mouth open in shock. He couldn't be serious. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. He was indeed serious.
I breathed, "You know what we would be risking."
Crimson seeped into the dark edges of his eyes. He nodded hard. "For it to work, I would have to compel you. The only way to deceive Gwion regarding your intention is if you are not even aware of them. I would also compel a trigger; so that if you make it to the point of success, you will remember this conversation and the plan."
I shook my head in doubt. "That won't work. With the power running through me, I would easily shrug off your compulsion."
"I don't think so. Because you are going to want what I am compelling you to do." He cringed openly at the thought. "The decision has to be yours, but I'm afraid that the physical attraction you feel toward Gwion will continue on some level, even if you are not together."
"You think it is inevitable, that I would choose him?"
"I believe Gwion thinks that and is willing to wait."
"You know I may not be able to stop," I whispered.
He clenched his fists and replied, "I wouldn't like it, but I would never blame you. But the more important question is how you feel about it? It is a legitimate risk. I would never ask you to risk your body for our relationship."
"My body is already at risk. I do not want an eternity of being drawn toward that man. Do you think I am physically strong enough to overpower him?"
"You have Amelie's, some of mine and your own power flowing through you. I think it will be enough."
"Okay," I exhaled deeply.
"I cannot be close to you when you begin, so that Gwion is not suspicious," he explained.
"But how will you know when the time comes...if I get that far?"
"Through my connection to you. If I focus on it, I will be able to feel it."
"Will you be aware of everything I'm feeling?" I asked apprehensively. If things did not go well, if I wasn't able to stop, I dreaded what he might feel. That was the last thing I wanted to put him through.
"If I choose to, yes," he answered with tight eyes.
He led me to the bedroom and lay down on the bed with me. His voice shifted lower. I recognize the hypnotic tone of his compulsion. And then I just felt sleepy. My eyelids drooped as I snuggled into the covers.
Myrnin's voice drifted through my semiconscious as he murmured, "Sleep now, Cariad. When you awake, you will know what to do..."