Chapter 43 – Panty Circus
I stared up at the familiar brightly-lit sign, signaling our arrival to the last place on Earth I had ever expected to visit with two ancient vampires – Walmart.
Surprisingly, there were quite a few cars in the parking lot. I cringed. I had hoped the store would be sparsely populated with people, given the very late hour. No such luck, apparently. I slid effortlessly out of the backseat and stood in my bare feet on the icy pavement, wearing nothing but Myrnin's shirt while the wintry night blew brisk gusts of air around us.
Of course I wasn't cold.
I would never be cold again, I realized with a start. My mind briefly panicked at the extremely foreign physical response of my body. I breathed deeply, hoping the unnecessary act would somehow force my brain to acclimate sooner to my new reality. And as hard as it was to force my own mind into understanding, I knew it would be impossible for the humans around us, to comprehend my abnormal arctic imperviousness.
A sweet little old couple threw several worried glances my way, as they walked toward the store. Their concern grew into full blown alarm when Myrnin exited the vehicle behind me, shirtless. I tried to smile slightly in an attempt to calm their fears and reassure them that I was fine, so hopefully they would not take it upon themselves to do something civically minded – like call the police.
That kind of thing would not bode well. Particularly when we were sporting a speared vampire in the trunk. I glanced over my shoulder, looking for Gwion, and found him checking said body, to make sure Ciro remained safely tucked away while we shopped. The absurdity of my life was once again in flagrant display – how many people shopped at Walmart with a body stored in the truck?! Well, now I did, apparently.
As we walked toward the entrance, I shot a quick glance to my left at Myrnin, and inhaled sharply in surprise. Mischievous anticipation practically radiated out of him.
Shit! I could not afford for him to lose control right now. I snapped my head to the other side, to see if Gwion had noticed. And was shocked to find – he wore a matching expression! Practically giddy with eagerness.
WTF?! It's Walmart! Hardly worth their matching Cheshire Cat grins. I was almost certain that neither of them had ever stepped foot inside a Wally World, so what had them so damned excited?! And if they had frequented the store before, I couldn't imagine what they found inside to make them so eager to return. My brain spun, trying to find some cue or signal I had missed, that brought about such a similar response from both of them.
Nothing came to mind.
"Stop!" I abruptly spread my arms out in front of them, halting their progress. Both looked at me in confusion, while I turned to face them, with my hands on my hips.
I narrowed my eyes.
"Why do you appear so... Excited?" I struggled to find an appropriate adjective.
Both of them looked at me with wide, overly innocent eyes. I raised an eyebrow. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they choreographed that response. I suddenly remembered they had spent centuries of time together – by choice. Which obviously meant, they had to get along on some level. They clearly had differences, but as I stared at their identical expressions of unexplained anticipation, I strongly suspected their penchant for mischievousness was a common bond. And neither one of them really gave a shit about etiquette or boundaries.
I groaned silently. What the hell was I getting myself into?
"You!" I pointed my finger at Myrnin.
"And you!" My finger change direction to Gwion.
"Behave!" I ordered.
Not my most literary sentences, but given the already progressive glint in their eyes, I felt it best to keep my instructions short and to the point.
Both nodded solemnly, as if they had no idea what I was talking about. I shook my head and spun back around, and we continued through the front entrance. A wave of heat blew from overhead warmers, as we passed through the 2nd set of entry doors.
As expected, our entrance and unusual appearance made quite an impression. A wiry old man sat in a conveniently placed folding chair to greet us. I couldn't quite tell from his seated position, but I expected he was about my height or just a little bit taller. He wore the customary blue vest with a bright yellow smiley face button. A mop of short curly gray hair covered his head. His eyebrows rose as he addressed me, "Lil' gurl, you ain't spose'd to come in here in no shoes. But see'n as you ain't even got pants, I reckon shoes are the least of your problems."
His glance wandered over to Myrnin's bare chest and remarked, "Shirts' required too, but I sure as hell ain't gonna ask you to put yours back on. I daresay she'd be completely nekkid if I did," he guessed correctly. He looked at Myrnin and Gwion sternly and scolded them, "It's colder than a witch's tit outside. Whatchu boys thinkin'? Not covering up the lil' lass any better'n'at?"
I had to smile at his papa-bear-like protection of me and his complete lack of intimidation of both Gwion and Myrnin. Myrnin cringed. I knew he agreed with the man and was equally unhappy with my current state of undress. "It is our intention to rectify that very problem now," Myrnin responded contritely.
The old man nodded thoughtfully at me and commented, "She's lookin' mighty thin too. Ain't the best food in the world, but we got a 24 hour Subway o're there." He nodded over his shoulder in the direction of the restaurant. "They make 'em sandwiches any'ay you want. Start with the bread and they slide 'em down the line, while you tell 'em what to throw on them sumbitches."
I giggled. We were fairly far north on the map, but he was most decidedly from the South. He grinned back at me and added in a conspiratorial whisper, "Stay away from that there meatball one. It'll make you clench up, if'u know what I mean."
I laughed out loud at his description.
Gwion smirked. I think he liked the old man's don't-give-a-shit attitude. Even Myrnin seemed more relaxed by the man's good humor.
"I just ate, but thank you for the recommendation," I smiled warmly at him.
"Good. Best get on with it then," he dismissed us with a nod.
As we made our way into the women's undergarment section for the first item on my list, it quickly became glaringly apparent that even 800-year-old vampire men never really grow out of their 12-year-old pubescent boy mentality. Both gravitated toward sexy revealing baby-doll styled lingerie with G strings and garters.
"Tsk...Tsk...The selection isn't much," Gwion commented with a frown.
"This isn't exactly Victoria's Secret," I reminded him. I had no clue if he even knew what a Victoria's Secret was, but was certain he would cause quite a bit of mayhem if ever set free inside of one of their stores.
Myrnin pulled out a barely-there two-piece in crimson red, and held it out to me, "What about this one?"
I stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't be serious. But yet, somehow I knew he was. I raised an eyebrow and answered dryly, "Only if the panties are crotchless."
I stifled a giggle as his eyes widened at my unexpected response, and he fished around in the underwear to see if it met my criteria. His brow furrowed just slightly when he realized it did not and returned it to the rack to continue looking.
That was it.
I could take no more of this panty-circus.
I placed a firm palm on both of their chests. "I do not need your help. Both of you, go find boy things to look at," I told them sternly. I wasn't exactly thrilled considering the trouble they could get into, out of my sight, but I seriously needed some alone time to select my underwear in peace.
Myrnin hesitated. I knew he didn't want to leave me by myself. I raised an eyebrow, silently reminding him that I was a vampire now and fairly certain I could handle whatever craziness Walmart decided to throw at me. For good measure, I added severely, "Do not return. I will find you, when I am ready."
He frowned, but followed Gwion as they walked away. I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly turned away from the lingerie rack, so that I could find a simple pair of panties. I considered purchasing a bra as well, but decided it wasn't really necessary since we would be home in another day or so. Before I could even barely begin to look, I heard the unmistakable shuffling of multiple footsteps coming up behind me.
What now?!
I turned around to find four young men.
This couldn't be happening, I thought in disbelief.
Was it too much to ask, to search for something to cover my ass, in peace? As I stared at their similar expressions of eager anticipation, I surmised, clearly the answer was yes.
They were all in jeans and actually fairly well built. If I had to guess, I suspected they were college age. The tall brown haired one was clearly the leader. He stood a little bit ahead, with the other three flanking his sides. He was actually quite handsome, and obviously used to having women respond favorably to him.
Trying a preemptive approach, I spoke calmly, "Look boys, I've had a really trying day. Trust me, you don't want to do this."
"Aw sweetheart, maybe I can make your day better. I love to cuddle," he murmured suggestively.
I rolled my eyes and offered, "Get a puppy."
He smiled wider at my resistance, and let his eyes slowly roam down my half naked body. While Myrnin's shirt covered all of my bits and pieces, it was still just a shirt and revealed quite a bit of my long legs. Obviously, Playboy took my appearance as an invitation and purred, "I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."
I was too tired to even roll my eyes again and my head was beginning to ache a little bit. Five more minutes of this and I was going to eat one of them.
Myrnin and Gwion made no sound, but I knew the instant they were present behind me – because the expressions on the four gentlemen in front of me changed dramatically. I was completely shocked to find they wore a mix between anxiety, boredom and territorial anger, as though Myrnin and Gwion, had encroached on the hunting ground that was Walmart.
The irony was stunning, given the fact that they stood in front of the most lethal predators I knew. And if that were not enough, if they only knew how very absolutely I was already claimed. I held my breath, knowing I was not going to be able to stop whatever confrontation occurred next. Now the only thing that remained was to gauge their intelligence, in the face of being – what I felt was ridiculously obvious – outmatched.
"Oh look, I found your shirt," Gwion purred to Myrnin.
"Indeed, you did," Myrnin acknowledged silkily, before placing a hand gently on my lower back and teased, "Did you get thirsty, my dear?"
Gwion interjected with a chuckle, "I'm not so sure they can handle your charms, little minx. Remember what happened last time. I've heard boys their age have a very high percentage of premature ejaculation. You would barely get in a sip, before they made a mess."
Fury rolled over the face of the ringleader. He spat dangerously, "Give me thirty minutes with her and we'll see how many times she comes before I bust a nut."
Oh brilliant.
The man had a death wish.
I felt Myrnin's posture change. He eagerly begged me softly, "Pleeease let me make him my bitch."
I placed a restraining hand against him.
Of course, it couldn't be enough for the stranger to just be stupid, he had to go and be a complete moron. Irritation and annoyance flooded through me. Without another word, I jerked the man away from his buddies and threw him hard to the ground, pinning him down tightly with my hands as I crouched next to him. He struggled unsuccessfully against my strength, but stopped when I leaned in closer to his face. I realized in disbelief that he actually thought I might kiss him. I shook my head and whispered darkly, "Imagine with me for a moment...If I can do this to you, what do you think they can do?"
His eyes opened wide in understanding.
None of his friends moved to help him. Either they were just smarter than he was, or they were simply enjoying watching him get his ass handed to him by a girl.
"Now, be a clever boy and go away," I ordered low with a light slap on his cheek. I stood to my feet and turned my back on him, to focus again in an attempt to select, what was turning out to be a very elusive pair of panties.
I heard him huff as he got to his feet, but I didn't bother to turn around. If he wanted to be stupid now, I would let Myrnin and Gwion have him. Thankfully, he had a shred of remaining self-preservation and I listened as their footfalls became more distant as they walked away.
Unexpectedly, Myrnin slid behind me, gripped my hips tightly and growled low in my ear, "Watching you do that, was incredibly hot."
Searing heat flashed across my skin and my belly contracted wildly at his words and tone. A small whine escaped the back of my throat.
Gwion coughed purposefully and smirked, "As much as I would love to hear you in the throes of passion, I think our time now would be better spent obtaining whatever security footage they have of your little incident. I too got a rise out of your exhibition; however, we don't want it inadvertently showing up on YouTube."
Oh! I realized with a shock, he was right. I turned in Myrnin's arms and looked at him with wide eyes. He understood my distress, and reassured me quickly, "It's fine. Gwion will obtain any evidence. Let's just finish, so we can go."
I completely agreed. While Gwion was gone, I hastily grabbed a pair of underwear, comfortable looking yoga pants, a T-shirt and tennis shoes. That would have to do for now. Quite quickly, Gwion returned and I asked worriedly, "Did you get it?"
"Yes, a female employee graciously provided directions to the office and there was only one male security guard in the room, although, I think I interrupted him."
"Interrupted him?" I looked at Gwion quizzically and asked for clarification, "What was he doing?"
"Well, he was either vigorously trying to clean something he had dropped on his crotch or he was masturbating with abandon," he replied with a smirk.
"What?!" I gasped.
"In all fairness, his back was to me so I couldn't be certain. However, given the rather erotic video he was watching on a computer screen, I suspect the latter was true. I highly doubt he even noticed your little skirmish," Gwion added reassuringly.
What the hell?!
I was never setting foot in Walmart again.
My already prevalent anxiety spiked even higher... I realized with alarm that I was going to need to feed again soon, if I wanted to maintain any shred of control. Myrnin must have been able to read my expression, because he murmured to Gwion, "Take her. I will meet you outside of the bathroom once I've paid."
As Gwion and I waited outside of the restroom, I could see Myrnin in the only available checkout line. The cashier's eyes opened wide when she saw him. Even from my distance of about twenty feet away, I heard her heart accelerate as she flushed with excitement. As I watched, I was astounded to hear her outrageously flirt with him as she picked up the white lace panties to scan them, "These are pretty...But are you certain they will fit? I could try them on for you, to make sure they are the right size," she purred suggestively as she leaned forward to reveal more of her cleavage.
My body vibrated with fury.
Myrnin answered curtly, "No, I know her curves intimately. They are the perfect size and would be much too small for you." His back was to me, so I couldn't see his face, but he shook his head almost imperceptibly. I knew he was trying to calm me down, but I wasn't having it. I had had a shit of a day, a shopping trip from hell, and now, I was going to eat the little slut.
Gwion's arms came around me like bands of steel. He murmured mischievously in my ear, "No need to harm her... Just show her who you are."
I held perfectly still and considered his words. He released me then, presumably so that he could watch the scene that was going to ensue. I closed the distance to Myrnin, and slid my body into his arms, tilting my head up to his face.
"There you are," I purred seductively.
His eyes gleamed in satisfaction. He knew what I wanted, and was equally eager to make my point as he crushed his lips to mine, giving the cashier quite an aggressive public display of affection.
When he finally broke our kiss, he kept me pressed tightly against his body with one arm. He ran his credit card with his other hand, bringing his head down to nibble on my ear while I giggled.
The cashier just stood there with her mouth open. Gwion was right. The look on her face was priceless and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. "Thank you," I told her sweetly.
Myrnin chuckled and gathered the bags. We headed back toward the bathroom, so that I could change. I flashed a brilliant smile at Gwion, silently thanking him for the advice.
He smirked in approval and purred, "Perfectly executed, little minx."
.
I hope you enjoyed their fun outing. I thought I would keep it a little light-hearted still, before things get hella-crazy again soon.