Hunter's pov
It was Monday and Finn and I had just left the school and made our way to the hospital for Finn's appointment today.
Finn asked me to go with him so I could hear for myself when the doctor said that he was doing fine so I will stop nagging him every day about how he's feeling but that's not going to stop me from stressing.
I hadn't spoken to Vincent again about what my dad had said. I wanted to speak to Finn about it now but I was afraid for so many reasons. I was afraid that it might be true and I was afraid that if I told Finn and it did turn out to be true, he would leave me because if dad did this to Finn it was all my fault. I wouldn't blame him for leaving me and he had a right to know and he deserved justice. Mum would loose someone else because of me but that's all I'm good for, tearing this family apart. Maybe I should be the one locked up for good so I don't cause anymore pain and destruction.
"We're here Hunt. Come on, let's get this over with. I just want the doctor to give me some very good news." He said the last part in a flirty way and I scrunched my eyebrows.
"What good news?" He sounded way too smug about something.
"That I'm ready to make you mine." It took me all of at least thirty seconds before I understood what he meant and that's when my face turned into a blazing fire. I gasped for breath hoping I didn't look like a fool.
Finn chuckled and got out of the car and I quickly got out myself so he didn't think I was in shock. He took my hand and we made our way inside the hospital and to the doctor's office. The receptionist took us in and told us that the doctor will be with us in a few minutes.
We sat down and Finn pulled me close to him. "Listen if the doctor says that I'm fit enough, how does dinner on Saturday night sound? Because you know what dinner always leads to and honestly I can't wait any longer. You do want our first time to be all planned and slow right or do you want it to be a spontaneous rip your clothes off kind of first time because either way it will be special and if I could help it I would strip you right now in this office that's how much I want you."
I stared in his direction with my mouth hanging open. How could he speak so casually and openly about it. I didn't know what to say. Although I was getting a little sweaty thinking about what we could get up to in this office. No, bad Hunter. Stop it.
"Finn can we please not talk about this here, someone could hear us." My blushing had just passed it's limit now, making my skin sting.
"Oh come on Hunter, tell me you haven't just fantasized about how well this table could work for us. Just think about how amazing it will be Hunter when we are in my bed, making love. Tell me you want me Hunter. Tell me how much you want me Hunter." He kissed me before I could respond and I kissed him back wanting him close to me. But I caught myself when I found myself hoping deep in my heart that it was Vincent here with me making plans for Saturday night. I felt ashamed that I couldn't feel for Finn as deep as he felt for me. I wasn't being fair to him. I needed to get Vincent out of my head completely and commit myself completely to Finn. I pulled him closer and kissed him harder, making my heart want him as much as my body.
We heard someone clear their throat and we jumped, letting go of each other and my blush returned full force.
"Doctor Robbins, Hi." Finn greeted sheepishly.
"Hello Finn. I see I don't have to ask how you're doing because what I just witnessed was a clear indication that you're doing well." The Doctor laughed, calming me down a little. I was so embarrassed. With how Finn's hand was rubbing my chest under my shirt and how my hand was ripping at his hair, I didn't know what he thought of us.
"Yeah Doctor I'm fit as a fiddle. Please tell me that my boyfriend and I can do more than just kissing. I have enough strength I promise." Was Finn seriously serious.
Doctor Robbins laughed again. "Let me examine you and I can tell you from there. Come this way please." I could tell that he stood up and walked probably into his examining room.
Finn took my hand but I stopped him from taking me with him. "I don't want to be in the way, I'll wait here."
"Are you sure?" He asked, rubbing my cheek.
"I'll be fine, go on." He left my hand but I caught his arm before he could move far and kissed him slowly. "I can't wait for Saturday."
I knew he was smiling without seeing it and he kissed me once more before leaving me.
I sat down and pulled my phone out calling Tyler to freak out on him. I just hoped Finn wouldn't be able to hear me.
"Hey Hunt. Guess what?" Did this guy ever talk in a normal tone.
"Hey Ty. What am I supposed to be guessing?" The possibilities with him were endless.
"My mum just told me that we're going to Italy during spring break. How amazing is that." I could feel his excitement through the phone.
"Wow that's great." I winked when I realized that I just burst his happy bubble. "I'm sorry it's just that the moon will look the same to me but you're going not me and I'm so happy for you. It must be so exciting, going to another country and seeing new things and places." Stop throwing a pity party Hunter.
"Yeah it is. My family and I have been to many places and each one was better than the last. I promise you Hunter, just closing your eyes and breathing in the air of a different country is just as amazing. Nothing should stop you from traveling Hunter because what you feel is much greater than what you see." Was I still speaking to the same guy.
I took a deep breath, absorbing what he said. "That was so beautiful Tyler. You've seriously just changed my whole perspective on traveling. Thank you. Do you know how spectacular you are?"
"Well now I know and coming from you I believe that I am. Love you Hunt." My best friend said. I considered Tyler my best friend even though we never made it official.
"Love you too Ty. You have to tell me tomorrow all the places you're planning on visiting in Italy." This time my excitement was real.
"Yeah I will. Alex is going to be so jealous. He hasn't been to Italy yet so he's going to beg me to take him with. I won't mind tagging him along. OMG I just had the most brilliant idea, why don't you join us Hunt. My family and I will look after you like treasure. Better than treasure because you're priceless. Don't say no, we'll have the time of our lives and it's only ten days." I could actually hear him jumping up and down in excitement.
It would be a trip of a lifetime but I knew it was impossible. Besides being totally dependent on Tyler and his family, dad would never allow me to go with Tyler.
"Thanks for the offer Ty but not this time. Very soon we'll go on an unforgettable trip." I wished in my heart for that day.
"You bet. Anyway what are you up to?" He made me remember why I called him and my blush returned.
"I'm at the doctor with Finn for his check up and I'm freaking out because he just totally embarrassed me by asking the doctor if he's fit enough to sleep with me. He fixed a date for us on Saturday and said that dinner will lead to his bedroom and I'm freaking out so badly and I have another problem that's not good." I burst out, trying to be as quiet as possible.
"I've told you before that your body belongs to you and you decide who you share it with but Finn is great and he really cares for you. If you're not ready though tell him, he'll wait for you. But why are you so hesitant, what's the problem?" He was going to think I've totally lost my mind.
"I may have kind of wished in my heart that it was Vince asking me to sleep with him and not Finn. And it was so bad because it was while he was kissing me that I had that thought and I'm such a horrible person Tyler. What do I do, how do I get Vincent out of my head?" I whispered, hoping he understood what I even said. Maybe it was better if he didn't hear or he would think I'm mad.
"You're madly in love Hunter, with Vincent. So the question is what are you still doing with Finn? As much as Vincent has saved my ass, he's still an ass but if he makes you happy than you need to be with him." Tyler explained, making it seem so easy.
I sighed. "I can't only consider my feelings Ty, there are three other people caught up in this. I can't hurt Finn and Brian, it will kill me. But the thing is that I'm not only with Finn because I don't want to hurt him, I'm with him because I want to be with him. He's the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. He doesn't make me feel like my blindness makes me any different. He makes me happy and confident and comfortable and I don't remember anyone when I'm with him. It's just me and him."
"And Vincent." Tyler deadpanned making me growl.
"What do I do Tyler?" I dropped my head on the table knocking it a few times. "Why did I have to fall for two best friends at the same time."
"You have two guys willing to do anything to be with you Hunt, how are you still so innocent?" He laughed making me laugh as well.
"I'm not sure if I still have my innocence. I think I may have lost it when I first kissed Vincent. I've been fantasizing about the possibility of things happening ever since." I thought back to the first time I kissed Vince, the best moment of my life.
"You naughty boy. I want sweet and innocent Hunter back." Tyler joked and his sweet laugh got me to calm down.
"Hey I've got to go, I think Finn is done inside." I could hear him and the doctor talking much louder.
"Okay but you better let me know what's happening. I'll call you later." I agreed and we said our goodbyes before I cut the call.
Was he going to call later for me to tell him if the doctor said that Finn is well enough to spend the night with me? And did he expect me to just tell him that on Saturday night I was going to sleep with Finn. I'm not sure how this all works and although I consider Tyler my best friend, he's dreaming if he thinks I'm going to give him all the intricate details.
"I'm going to prescribe for you some medication and once you've finished this course you'll be good to go." Doctor Robbins said as he and Finn made their way back to the office and sat down. "There's something else I wanted to speak to you about Finn, I hope you don't mind."
"What is it doctor?" Finn asked, taking my hand in his once he was sitting next to me.
"Finn I know that the person who attacked you hasn't been arrested yet and that can have a very negative effect on you. What you went through was very serious and I think you should go for counseling. I can schedule for you an appointment with the phycologist at this hospital and she's really good Finn, you'll feel relieved once you speak with her. What you say?" Doctor Robbins told Finn and I didn't know what his reaction would be. Would he want to speak again about everything that happened.
He chuckled sounding a little stressed. "You're asking a lot from me Doctor. Let me think about it and if I decide to do it then I'll stop by next week or so."
"Very well son. Here's your prescription and if you have any questions or if you feel any pain or anything, feel free to call me okay." Doctor Robbins stood up and Finn and I joined him and we greeted him before making our way out of his office.
"That Doctor is crazy if he thinks I need counseling. I just want to forget about everything that happened and he wants me to talk about it again." Finn said, pulling me close to him as we walked down the hallway of the hospital. "But hey at least he gave me good news."
I blushed, knowing exactly what he meant.
"Aw look at you. Now nothing can stop me from making you mine." He stopped us and turned me to face him. He held my face in his hands and I hoped no one was looking at us. "Hunt I know that we're in a hospital and it's not the most romantic place but being here makes you realize how valuable time is and how precious life is and I don't want to waste any more time."
"What are you saying Finn?" Why was he suddenly so serious?
"I lo..."
"Hunter is that you?" Finn was interrupted and I knew that voice but my brain couldn't remember who the voice belonged to.
"Blimey it is you Hunter. And here I was thinking I'd give you a surprise visit." He pulled me in a tight hug as my brain decided to start working again and I got a huge smile when I matched the voice with Henry. How could that dreamy British accent not belong to him.
"Henry I need to breath." He let go a little and I filled my lungs. "Why didn't you tell me you were in California?"
"I just got here last night and I had a ton of work to do but I was going to call your mum later and give you a surprise visit. Guess you beat me to it. What are you doing here anyway?" He asked and I turned to Finn and managed to find his hand and I held it.
"Henry this is Finn, my boyfriend. Finn this is Henry, remember I told you about him." Finn pulled me closer to him as I spoke.
"Yeah I remember, nice to meet you." Finn told Henry and it kind of sounded forced.
"Wow Hunter, a boyfriend. When we met a couple of months ago you didn't even know what gay was and now you have a boyfriend." Why was Henry not sounding happy.
"Thanks to you my life has completely changed. You told me to go to school and I'm so glad I listened to you because I love it and I have so many amazing friends and I also met Finn there. I don't know how to thank you Henry." Honestly I can't thank him enough.
"Hunter can I have a word with you, alone." Henry didn't sound like I'd just given him the good news that I go to school.
"What is it Henry, you can talk to me in front of Finn." I didn't like the way he sounded so serious.
"It's cool Hunt, I'm going to buy my medicine and I'll meet you here when I'm done." Finn kissed me before leaving and I turned to Henry.
"What is it?" I asked and he pulled me close to him making me jump. "What are you doing Henry?"
"I told your mum that when you are ready to date I should be the one you date. From the day I met you I haven't been able to forget you. I think of you every day and I wait for your mum's call and in the meantime you're enjoying yourself with your boyfriend." Was he serious.
"Henry I didn't even know what being gay was when I met you and I didn't know if I'd even meet you again. I'msorry if I led you on in some way but you can't blame me. To tell you the truth I did think of you when I learnt all about being gay but I was afraid that you'd forgotten me and I wasn't even sure how you felt about me and you were from a different country and I didn't have your number and I wasn't planning on telling my mother any time soon that I was gay and I wanted your number so I could call you. You're a big shot Doctor and I'm a highschool student, I don't think we'll ever work." He had to understand that I wasn't worthy of him.
"Hunter I really like you and I want you to be my boyfriend, I don't care how old you are. We'll make this work Hunter, despite the distance. I want to take care of you and love you for as long as you let me. I'm here for three months because my sister is getting married and I'm going to be working here so let's go out a few times and see where it leads us." He held my cheek but I pulled away.
"I'm sorry Henry but I'm in a committed relationship. I really like Finn and I'm not going to break up with him." My life was already so complicated and I wasn't ready for all this as well. I mean Finn is one thing but if Vincent had to find out that Henry is back and he wants to date me, there will be major trouble in this town.
"No I'm sorry, I came on a little forceful. I had no right telling you all that. I'm truly sorry. Let's just hang out as friends and get to know each other and see what happens after that. I can't force you into anything and if you're happy I'm happy. I'm just glad to see you again. You haven't changed a bit in these few months. You still have that sweet innocent smile that drives me crazy." I couldn't help it, I blushed.
"It's okay Henry." I relaxed after hearing him chuckle. "I would love to hang out with you and be friends with you. Although even though I'm almost eighteen, you know my mum so I'm going to have to speak to her first about meeting you again and wanting to spend time with you and see what she says and take things from there. I'll call you okay, that sounds good?"
"Yes of course, your mum is great and she needs to know where you are and who you are with I understand." He pulled me into another hug surprising me. "It's so good to see you again Hunter."
"Same here even though I can't see you." I laughed.
"What happened with Doctor Alexander?" He asked, releasing me.
"He told us what every other doctor said, the damage is irreparable." I replied just as I felt Finn wrap his arm around my waist.
"Ready to go?" He asked, pulling me close to him.
"Yip." I smiled at him. I wonder if when I smiled at someone I always managed to look at them directly and do it or was I just smiling at a wall. "It was really nice meeting you again Henry and I will call you very soon."
"You better or I'll come to your school looking for you if I have to." He sounded way too serious.
"I will I promise. Bye." I greeted him.
"Bye my dear. See you soon." He left and I turned to Finn.
"You know, jealousy doesn't sound good on you." I told him as he led me out of the hospital.
"Please, if you think I'm jealous of some British bloke who thinks he's the queen of England you are wrong." He put on a fake accent that sounded terrible.
"Look at you, turning into a British bloke yourself. If only you sounded as dreamy as Henry." I teased him.
He pushed me against his car and pressed his body firmly against mine. "Well I bet dreamy Henry would be a more dreamy kisser too."
"I could kiss him and find out." I knew that would hit a nerve.
"If he lays one finger on you Hunt, he'll regret coming to this part of the world." With that he kissed me, drilling it into my brain that I belong to him.
Eventually we got in the car and I wanted to ask him to come to my house but I didn't know if it was a good idea.
"Are we going to your house?" I asked as I clipped in my seat belt.
"No." He replied, starting the car. "We are going to your house."
I got a huge smile on my face but it disappeared faster than it got here. "Finn there's actually something I need to speak to you about."
"I know what you want to say Hunt. Brian told me what you told Vince about your dad and you're wrong. It wasn't your dad. I would have known if it was him. It was someone younger I'm sure. So just forget you ever thought that and relax okay." I could sense that he didn't say that with full confidence. Was he lying?
"Finn what if..."
"There's no what if Hunter so just drop it. Let's buy some milkshake from McDonald's, what flavor do you want?" He didn't leave any room for argument.
"Chocolate." I muttered, turning to face the window.
We went through the drive thru and got our milkshakes before heading to my house.
When we reached my house Finn sneaked into my room while I joined mum and dad in the kitchen.
"Hey my dear where were you whole afternoon?" Mum asked, handing me a glass of juice as I sat down.
I decided to mention Finn to see dad's reaction. "I went with Finn to the hospital for his check up. He's doing really well, isn't that great dad?"
"Great son, just great." His tone was difficult for me to understand.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn't dad. He couldn't do something so horrible, he just couldn't do it.
"Mum how long until dinner?" I asked, standing up.
"About thirty minutes or so, dad will come get you." Mum answered.
"Okay thanks mum." I went over to where I knew she was standing and hugged her. "I have Finn in my room." I whispered and she laughed ruffling my hair. I left the kitchen and ran up the stairs to my room. Yes I can run up the stairs without falling on my face.
I entered and closed the door locking it. "Finn where are you?"
"On your bed. I've been staring at your blank walls for the last ten minutes." He replied and I made my way to him.
"You said you're going to do up my room, why haven't you yet?" I sat on the bed and kicked my shoes off.
He pulled me down on the bed and leaned over me. "Because when I'm with you in your room I'd rather have my hands on you than on your walls."
He kissed me and I pulled him closer wanting him as close as possible. We kissed for a while and I didn't ever want it to stop.
Finn rested his head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. "I feel so safe in your arms Hunter. You're stronger than you realize. When we go to college I want you to from the start be powerful and strong and resilient. I don't want you to be weak and vulnerable. You need to be confident and everyone will automatically be more sincere and respectful towards you. Right now we are just teenagers in high school but in a few years time we're going to have to build a name for ourselves and gain the utmost amount of respect and high regard and position and you need to not allow anyone to bring you down and make you think anything different about who you are. I want you to start believing in yourself more and believe that you are capable of doing amazing things and being an incredible person. Because you are and when you start to realize that you will feel more comfortable with who you are. You need to understand that other people do things whether good or bad out of their own will and finding it necessary to blame yourself and believing that you are to blame instead of believing in yourself will only affect you in a negative way."
I listened carefully to everything he said trying to fully understand him.
"Hunter when you tell yourself that you are useless and everything bad that happens is your fault, people feel like they need to distance themselves from you because they don't feel that they can get close to you and be natural around you. They feel like you're going to find a fault in everything they say and do. I can not tell you how much easier and brighter your life will be despite your blindness if you start truly believing in yourself. If you just start with that everything else will automatically fall in place and your life will change forever." He leaned up and kissed me again. "Are you going to start working on it from today?"
I nodded with all my might wanting him to know that I was serious. "I will I promise Finn."
"Good." He kissed me, this time lifting my shirt up and I was about to do the same with his when there was a knock on the door.
"Hunter dinner is ready son." Dad called out from outside my room and Finn stiffened jumping slightly and shaking a little. He quickly tried to cover it up but it was too late. I already got my answer.
I stood up and went to the door quickly unlocking it and opening it.
"Come on son, your mum has everything ready and..." He stopped and it was definitely because he spotted Finn. "Hunter what is he doing here?"
"What would my boyfriend be doing with me in my room dad?" I heard him growl and I felt Finn next to me.
"Hunter what are you doing?" Finn sounded panicked and I hated it.
"Really dad, did you think one beating would keep us apart? Did you think getting rid of my boyfriend would get rid of the fact that I'm gay? Did you think you could do such a monstrous act and get away with it?" My voice was calm and it surprised me. I was starting to feel my body boiling up and I just needed to let everything out.
"Son what are you...?"
"Don't you dare call me son. I'm no son of yours. You lost me the day you lost Andrew and today you've lost what ever remains you had of me." What also surprised me was that I hadn't broke down in tears.
"Look Hunter I don't know what this friend of yours told you but I didn't beat him up. You can't possibly believe what he says." Dad tried to defend himself but the venom in his voice towards Finn really wasn't helping him.
"Just imagine what will happen if mum finds out, if Heather finds out. You'll have no one, did you not think of all that before half killing my boyfriend. Maybe we should find out what will happen if I tell mum." I left the room ready to shout for mum when dad gripped my arm stopping me.
"Don't you dare get your mother involved in this. Your faggot friend deserved what I did to him and it's just his luck he survived." Dad finally admitted, breaking me into a million pieces.
" Get your hands off him." Finn pulled me away from dad and I wanted to just crumble up on the floor but I couldn't become weak and pathetic, I needed to stay strong.
"Mum." I shouted as loud as I could before dad could stop me. "Heather, come up quick."
"How dare you disobey me Hunter." I'd never heard dad sound like this before, so loathing. Dad gripped me again. "You worthless piece of..."
"Austin, what's going on here?" Mum saved me from getting slapped in the face.
I escaped dad's grip on me and Finn pulled me in his arms.
"Dad's the one who beat Finn up mum, he's the monster who almost killed Finn." I let out before dad could make up a story.
The house was silent for a minute before mum broke it. "Get out Austin."
"Anna you can not be serious, you're kicking me out? Hunter is the one who should leave because he was influenced by all his faggot friends to be gay and now he even has a nerve to have a big mouth with me." Dad argued and that's when my tears decided to escape.
"Mum I can't take it anymore, feeling guilty about the accident. Dad has made me feel responsible for Andrew all my life just so he could not blame himself and I allowed him to because I convinced myself that it was my fault but beating Finn up because he was kissing me is not my fault. Dad is to blame for that and I am not going to feel even slightly guilty because nothing can force you to do something so disgusting." I was a mess, rubbing at my tears as I spoke and sniffing.
Mum and Heather were by my side instantly. "You are not responsible for what your father did my angel. I'm so sorry you had to go through so much because of him and I'm so sorry for what he did to you Finn." Mum said through her own tears and hearing her cry made me cry even more.
"No Mrs. Haynes please don't apologize." Finn told mum and Heather pulled him close and I knew she hugged him.
"I don't believe this Anna, you're going to feel sorry for them and I must leave the house? Hunter has once again single handedly destroyed our family by being gay and having all these gay friends. No son of mine will be gay. It's either he forgets about all his friends and this whole gay thing or he leaves the house right now." Dad countered, ripping my heart into pieces.
"No Austin, it's either you leave the house or I will call the police." Mum warned, and I panicked.
I knew that what dad did was horrible and a crime but I couldn't let him go to jail.
"You're threatening me with the police, unbelievable. You know what, I don't need to stay here and listen to all this crap. I hope you're happy now Hunter. You can live your sinful life and don't expect me to be part of it. You're right about one thing, you should have been the one to die that night." With that dad left and the slamming of the front door snapped me out of my shock and I sunk to my knees breaking down. Mum, Heather and Finn tried to comfort me and stop me from having a panic attack but I only wanted him. I only wanted Vincent.
Finn hugged me but I just couldn't calm down. My heart was on fire, burning my whole body. I couldn't stop shaking and I couldn't breath.
"Hunter you need to calm down. What will it take to get you to calm down, tell me?" Finn asked, rubbing my back.
"I want.. I.." I couldn't speak, my throat feeling closed.
"Hunter do you want Vincent?" Finn finally asked making me nod my head vigorously. "Okay I'm calling him. You need to calm down now okay, I'm calling him."
I managed to find a little air to breath when Finn told me that and my voice as well.
"I want Vincent." I managed to let out.
I heard Finn speak on his phone and I closed my eyes hoping Vince got here in lightning speed.
Finn pulled me up and took me to my room and I let him drag me. Dad's words still rang in my ears and I just wanted to scream and shout and tell him that I wasn't as bad as he thought. That I wasn't pathetic and useless. That I could make something out of myself and I could be someone. I could be his perfect son if he just gave me a chance.
"Hunter." Hearing Vincent's voice and how he said my name in the middle of my thoughts and bringing my heart back to normal pace and cooling my insides made me at that very moment realize that my heart belonged to him. As he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him calming me down completely I realized that I was in love with him. Only him.