Thank you for reaching this chapter, and for your patience and understanding. Love you all! Please read the author's note at the end. And please answer the question upon finishing the chapter. <3
- x-
ELAINE WIPED OF DUST THAT WERE IN RAICCA'S TOMBSTONE. She smiled despite of what she was feeling the moment she stepped there. Nakaramdam siya ng inggit nang makita niya ang pangalan nito.
Raicca Elvira Figueroa- Baltazar
Born: February 28, 1988
Died: June 1, 2010
Mabuti pa si Raicca, kasal kay Jacob. Mabuti pa si Raicca, gamit ang apelyidong gustong-gusto niya. She heaved a deep sigh. It's been a year since Jacob let her have a space on her own, since he let her go to find herself again, to accept things. And for a few months, everything had changed.
Tanggap na niya ang nangyari kina Jacob at Raicca. But sometimes she kept on thinking what if that never happened, what if Raicca didn't have cancer and died. There were so many unanswerable questions in her mind but she smiled at all of it.
"Raicca, ang swerte mo. Ako ang girlfriend niya noon pero ikaw ang mas inuuna niya. And you loved him dearly but you were just a friend to him. Kaibigan ka lang niya pero pinakasalan ka niya. Nagkaanak kayong dalawa. You fulfilled one of the best wishes he had. I'm happy that you became a mother before you were taken. I'm genuinely happy for you," Elaine said to Raicca's grave. "Thank you for being there for Jacob when I was so weak. Thank you for making him happy while I was making him distressed. If you were alive right now, sigurado akong hindi na ako babalikan ni Jacob. He had feelings for you. He had. I felt it. The sincerity, care, trust, and respect."
Elaine imagined Raicca's face. The face she remembered so much. The way her straight silky hair fell to her face while she looked down. Raicca had the most contagious smile Elaine had seen dahil noong college sila ay sa tuwing nakikita niyang ngumingiti si Raicca, napapangiti rin ang mga kasama nito. Elaine never had anything against it dahil kaibigan din ang turing niya kay Raicca. Naalala niya rin ang mga pagkakataong magkasama sila ni Raicca kapag hinihintay si Jacob tuwing training ng binata habang pinag-uusapan nila ang buhok ni Jacob.
"Elaine!" Napalingon siya sa pinanggalingan ng boses ni Camille at saka siya kumaway, isang senyas na pinapalapit niya ito. Obviously, Camille was with Kael. Nang makalapit ay agad itong sumambit, "Ngayon lang ako nakapunta rito sa puntod ni Raicca. Hindi naman kasi kami close noon kaya hindi ko dinadalaw."
"Ano ka ba? Ayos lang 'yon. Ang dami kayang alam ni Raicca tungkol sa 'yo."
"Ano? Chinichismis mo buhay ko kay Raicca?"
The both women laughed then hugged each other. Over the past year, they had reconciled their relationship. Camille explained everything to her. Well, Camille was forced by Kael to be his girlfriend because some ex was still after him after knowing that Kael didn't want to marry her anymore. It wouldn't be realistic if Kael chose Elaine to be his girlfriend after he backed out from the engagement. So he stuck with Camille. And Elaine felt stupid that day.
"Hindi! Gaga ka."
The women fell silent. Elaine nodded at Kael who was smiling at her while holding Camille's hand. Kael returned the recognition. Then Elaine looked down on Raicca's grave.
"So, Jacob really did marry Raicca, huh?" Elaine felt Camille's gaze on her.
Elaine shrugged. "Yeah, dahil akala ni Jacob hindi na ako babalik. And he also believed that Raicca will fight through cancer."
"That's just," Camille paused for a few seconds then continued, "Sad."
"I know. Raicca deserves more than this. She didn't deserve to die so young. Magsisimula pa lang siyang maging ina kay Victoria. She barely saw her dahil after birth ay labas pasok na siya sa ospital tapos Victoria, being a baby, bawal bumisita sa ospital kasi mahina pa ang immune system ng bata. She got well, though. Pero akala nila magtutuloy-tuloy. But one day, her body fell. Nawalan siya ng gana kumain. She became too thin. Hanggang sa ipasok ulit siya sa ospital. At ilang araw lang, wala na siya," Elaine said as she hugged herself. She remembered how Jacob told her that story after their almost fight. She felt pity for Raicca, of course. She felt like she didn't deserve to be with Jacob for what Raicca had been through.
"Wow! Alam na alam mo, ah? Inalam mo talaga ang history? Effort mo, ah?" Camille replied, smiling a bit, pity for Raicca was obviously written all over her face. Kael was looking down at Raicca's grave too.
"Gusto ko kasing malaman ang nangyari sa kanila ni Jacob. Buo. Ayoko nang maiwan sa dilim, ang hirap kasing mangapa. Ang hirap mag-isip lalo na kapag taliwas sa katotohanan ang lahat ng bagay na pinaniniwalaan mo. That was toxic, really."
"I know what you felt," Kael abruptly said, in which Elaine gave him an understanding smile.
They sat in silence. The kind of silence that was so peaceful, not awkward, the type that you can actually enjoy the surroundings without noise. It was kind of nostalgic. Back in the days, they always go to the middle of the oval during sunsets in the university they went. They all had the same space but out to their respective worlds.
The silence was broken when Kael suddenly spoke, "Parang ang sarap bumalik sa dati, no?"
"Oo nga," segunda ni Camille. "Siguro hindi ko sinagot si Maximus kung 'yon lang din naman pala ginawa niya sa akin. Gago ka kasi, Kael, eh!"
"Ikaw, Elaine, kung sakaling bumalik tayo sa nakaraan, ano gusto mong baguhin?"
Iling lamang ang sagot ni Elaine sa tanong ni Kael at saka ngumiti.
"Why?"
"Marami akong natutunan sa experiences ko, Kael. Natutunan kong bumitaw, natutunan kong bumangon, natutunan kong buuin ang aking sarili pagkatapos mabasag nang paulit-ulit. Kaya, wala. Wala akong nais baguhin sa nakaraan ko. Masaya rin kasi ako para kay Raicca. Masaya ako na naging isa siyang ina bago siya kuhanin ng Panginoon. Masaya rin ako para kay Jacob."
"Gaga ka! So hindi ka masaya para sa amin?"
"Masaya ako para sa inyo, siyempre."
They all laughed together in that very sincere and real moment. Ang tagal na rin kasi simula nang ngumiti't tumawa si Elaine na walang mabigat na dinadala sa dibdib. It was about time to let the past be bygones and just focus on what's ahead. Well, as for Jacob, he did the same too.
"Mama!"
Lahat sila ay napatingin kay Victoria na tumatakbo papalapit sa kanila. Napangiti si Elaine nang makita niya si Jacob na hinahabol si Victoria. Agad na yumakap ang bata sa kanyang binti.
"Elaine, hi. Nandito pala kayo. I didn't expect to see you here," ani Jacob at saka niya binuhat si Victoria. His daughter was five-years old already and gaining height. And Victoria started calling her "mama" in her fifth birthday party. She was shocked all right pero the first time she called her that, she wanted to cry. Elaine felt butterflies in her stomach being wild as her heart beat erratically.
"Dinalaw namin si Raicca," Elaine shrugged. "Death anniversary niya kasi ngayon, and I think I should pay her a visit. Talk to her kahit hindi niya na ako naririnig. I want to tell her some things."
Binaba ni Jacob si Victoria at saka ito lumapit sa kanya. His eyes were twinkling as he stared at her. He was smiling as if he was happy to see her there with Camille and Kael.
He asked, "Things like what?"
"Things like..." Elaine faced down, continuing what she said, "You'll be a father to another child. And I'm finally letting you come inside my life again without hesitations. At oo, sinasagot na kita kahit mas nauna ang sex. Isang beses lang 'yon pero naka-score ka agad."
"Are you sure? Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, I am your girlfriend again. I'm your girl. I'll be a mother to Victoria."
Jacob smiled widely as his fist hit the air while Camille and Kael hooted. Victoria jumped for joy as she watched her father to jump happily. As Elaine watched him danced goofy, her eyes began to water. She didn't expect everything to turn out like this. Jacob pursued her. Niligawan siya nito ulit. They were like teenagers all over again. Then there's Victoria. Elaine treated her like she's her own daughter, and she felt like she was Victoria's real mom. It made her happy. And she's contented for what she had. She's contented with that kind of family. As long as they are happy, she's fine with it.
"Gusto ko lang sana ipagpaalam na akin ka na lang." Elaine giggled like a little girl when Jacob put his hands on her waist hoisting her up, then he spun her around as he shouted multiple thank yous.
She said to herself: As long as she loves Jacob, she'll stay. And she'll forever stay in love with him. She'll forever stay because she accepted him, she accepted his flaws, all of him, the dark and the good side.
And she's willing to wait for their marriage that won't come anytime soon.
"I love you, Elaine... so... damn... much," he locked her with his warm embrace that made her heart melt. "Thank you for letting me in."
"Thank you for being patient, Jacob. Thank you for not giving up on me." She murmured as their foreheads touched, their noses gently against each other. There was a grin in both of their faces. "I would've had walked away when you weren't so persistent. Akala ko hahayaan mo lang ako."
"Pwede ba 'yon? You don't give up on someone you love. When tired, just have a break, but never quit on something or someone you love. Always remember that I will always be here no matter what."
"Same."
They both chuckled at their corniness.
"Dude, what the fuck? Just fucking kiss each other," Kael screamed.
"Gago! Language, please. May bata, oh." Kael complained at how hard he had been hit by Camille in the head, but Elaine and Jacob were just too busy staring at each other's eyes, sending a million message to each other.
They'd been through a lot. Elaine knew there were more to come. And by then, she and Jacob are ready to face each challenges hand in hand. Their story might not be the beautiful one, but they had already experience worse, and it's a step-up to their relationship.
"Kailan kaya ako makakakita ng lalaking kaya rin akong buhatin?"
Ibinaba kaagad ako ni Jacob sa narinig. Gulat na gulat ang mukha nito habang pinipigilan nila Elaine ang pagtawa.
"Seryoso ka, Kael?"
Yep, Kael is not straight.
E N D O F C O M E I N S I D E
QUESTIONS (please answer): What did you feel reading the entire story? What did you expect the ending to be? What were your reactions to all the characters? Was the events turned out what you expected? Was the story/plot predictable?
PS. Answering that will help me write future good books and it would be from your help. So to all who will answer that, I express my gratitude.
Author's note:
730 days. It took me seven hundred and thirty days to finish this novel. Aside from busy ako, ano pa ba ang mga dahilan kung bakit ako inabot ng ganito katagal?
1. I didn't want to finish this novel because it's too painful for me.
2. I didn't know how to express all the emotions stirring up in this novel so I had hard times putting all those into words.
3. It's my first time writing a novel that has a theme like this so it is really challenging for me.
Honestly, I really want to extend this up to 30 chapters. Pero sa tingin ko kasi, I better leave it like this. Elaine got the happy ending she wanted. Let's not try to break her fantasy, okay? In your perspective, Jacob might not deserve her, but let's be real. It's still her decision to make whether accept or decline Jacob. But in my side, all hard works always pay in the end. Naghirap silang dalawa. They face a lot of challenges. Soooo...
ANOTHER QUESTION: What made you think that Jacob didn't deserve Elaine?
AND I KNOW THERE'S LOOPHOLES. BIG BIG ONES. Yes, I want to leave that blank. Sasagutin ko 'yan once I have time. But in this novel, I won't say everything. I want to leave something hazy for you to think.
Also, for those who constantly showed their reactions to everything, THANK YOU. You are a big help to me to build the characters in the end. I know I disappoint you in this ending but hey, I might write a different ending for this soon. And who knowssss? I will not mention those but you know who you are! Thank you so much.