Pharaoh went over to KJ's to spend missed time with Khaleesi. He didn't want to think about how dirty Ka'Miko had done him, it wasn't completely her fault and he knew it, he was more surprised by her actions, he never expected her to play him like that, especially not so publicly.
He knocked on KJ's door before just barging in.
"What was the use in knocking?" KJ asked with a hint of humor.
Pharaoh just shook his head and sighed. "Where's my babygirl?" He asked.
"Sleeping. We got some McDonalds, she ran around like she was on drugs, and then randomly knocked out." Kj explained.
Pharaoh nodded and plopped down on the couch.
"What happened?" KJ asked.
"Nothing man. Shit got me up to be honest. I didn't think I could feel like this." He admitted.
"Like what?" Kj rose an amused eyebrow, "Hurt...feeling kind of like how she feels when you cheat on her? Then have your bitches in her face on top of it. C'mon man, you know Kam ain't even that type of chick and initially..she was trying to help you. She figured if she got with ole boy, he'd help you. That favour that came to your dad was by Ka'Miko's doings. The judge was his cousin. She helped you whether you like how she did it or not, she was handling business for you." KJ defended her.
Pharaoh didn't respond to him. He knew he was right, but didn't want to admit it. He was frustrated because no matter what, two rights didn't make a wrong.
"So what? That's it then? Just let her go with ole boy? That's what you're saying...cause this is my fault?" He questioned.
"Nah. I'm saying, if you gon' be on yo same shit, then let her go with ole boy cause you won't be doing her right anyways. If you willing to step up and be about your business then by all means, go get your girl." He elaborated.
"To be honest, right now, I'm not even tryna fuck with Kam too heavy." He shrugged.
"Then let that be that." KJ shrugged.
Pharaoh agreed. He went upstairs and got Khaleesi, she was still asleep. So he picked her up and brought her home with him. But not to Ka'Miko's home, but his own. He pushed his key in the lock, it had been so odd since he hadn't called this his home in a long time.
He changed his sheets and laid Khaleesi in his bed before taking a shower and curling up next to her. Almost naturally, she possessively put her arm around his neck tightly. He smiled to himself, he loved her more than anything, and he wanted to do right by her. She was always loyal to him, his world, his everything.
***
Ka'Miko desperately needed a friend, so she called the one person who was always there for her, Raymond. He came over in less than a half hour while Ka'Miko cleaned up the pieces from her broken door.
"Crazy night, huh?" He asked her.
"I'll say.."
"He didn't hurt you right?" Raymond asked in a concerned tone.
She shook her head as she sat indian style in front of the bathroom floor with pieces of wood in her hand, she stared at it as she spoke.
"Not physically anyways. I wish..I wish he did. I wish he could have choked me out, slapped me...something...it would be better than what he gave me. He left me empty, this is worse than any slap in the face. The guilt..the feeling of regret. Tyrese is amazing..but, he's not Pharaoh. He's calm, collected...mature."
"Everything you wanted but don't necessairly need from a man." Raymond filled in what she was thinking.
"Everything I thought I wanted. I like Pharaoh, I mean, I love him because he's not all there," she chuckled, "He's insane, literally, but that's why I love him, he's bold and goes for any and everything that he wants. Which can work against him at times, but that's the man I fell in love with." She concluded with a sigh, "It's over now, anyways. I'm just going to have to get over it." She shrugged, picking up the plastic bag and taking it into the kitchen.
Raymond sighed, "He's wrong to be mad at you...he did the same thing."
"Exactly!" Ka'Miko agreed, coming out of the kitchen with a bottle of baileys, a bucket of ice and two wine glasses, placing them on her center table.
"But two wrongs don't make a right." Raymond reminded her, as he made himself a drink.
"I get that," she acknowledge, "But initially, I did it for him. Some may argue..but it's true, and I never slept with Tyrese. Not even once, kissing is as far as we ever went..as far as we'll ever go."
"What did Pharaoh ever want from you, ultimately, over everything?" Raymond asked.
"Loyalty...committment." She answered as the warm, creamy liquid heated up her chest with a huge gulp.
"Exactly, you fucked up Kam. He just wanted you." He replied to her, he wasn't being malicious, he was just giving his honest opinion, and Ka'Miko understood.
"I know, but he didn't want me when he was fucking that other hoe."
"Yes, Ka'Miko, Pharaoh is an asshole to the truest sense of the word. But, he was YOUR asshole. He fucked around with a chick he wanted loong before you came along. Sooner or later, he'd realize she's no you. I know you love him and as dumb as this sounds, I think you should try and get him back."
"He told me "Don't trip, ma" knowing damn well my ass was about to trip. I hate him." She growled, feeling a mix of emotions.
"You love him, so call him...try and talk...see what he has to say; If it doesn't work out, there's other fish in the sea, but just see how he's feeling."
"Anything but me..that's how he's feeling." She mumbled.
After Raymond left, Ka'Miko took a shower before climbing into bed. Their conversation made her more confused, and left her with little clarity, all she wanted to do was forget. Her phone rang making her heart skip a beat, but it quickly faltered when she saw 'Tyrese' on the screen. She sighed and answered, he at least deserved an explanation.
"Hello?" She said into the phone.
"Hey," He breathed a sigh of relief before letting out a chuckle, "I thought you weren't going to answer, thought I'd have to come back and whoop that nigga's ass."
She laughed a bit, "No, it's fine. He didn't hurt me or anything...at least not physically." She sighed.
There was a silence on the phone before Tyrese spoke again.
"Kam," He sighed, "What's wrong?" He asked her, sounding truly concerned.
Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she started sobbing.
"I don't want to do this to you, again." She sniffled as she wiped her tears and nose with the sleeves of her shirt.
"So don't." He replied, his voice filled with hurt.
She shook her head, as she took deep breaths, "I'm a horrible person...I know you think so. I'm so sorry, Tyrese. I thought I could do this.. I thought I could move on, move past him, move past everything, but I can't. I really wanted to try with you, and my feelings for you were --"
"Genuine." He finished for her.
"Yes." She sobbed.
"Bullshit." He said, "But you take care of yourself, ma. I'm the horrible person, I knew better than to try with you, and still I did cause I believed in you. Believed you were better than this, better than him."
"Pharaoh's not as bad as he seems on paper." Ka'Miko told him, slowly calming down.
"Yeah, guess when he's cheating on you..hitting on you...he's not that bad, huh?" He asked.
"No. You don't know him like I do."
"You don't know him like you "think" you do." Tyrese argued, his voice growing more aggressive and angry, "You know, you a real fucking hoe. You can be kissing on me, next thing you tryna hop in bed with a next nigga."
Tyrese could be cold, but he was never disrespectful, Ka'Miko understood. He was just trying to hurt her, and she wasn't about to let him, or at least display that she was hurt.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Tyrese. But I can't. Delete my number, I'll delete yours and that's a wrap." She concluded in a stern voice.
"Yeah, a wrap til Pharaoh ends up in jail again, and I promise...I'll make sure he never gets out next time." He sneered.
"Go to hell." She said before hanging up.
She laid back down and looked at the time, 1:20AM, only a few more hours before Pharaoh would drop off Khaleesi. Then, she'd talk to him, then she'd explain. She let sleep take over so her mind could finally rest.
***
The sound of rustling hangers made her rise from her sleep. The sun beemed through the window and straight into her face. She turned and looked into her walk-in closet to see Pharaoh standing there going through the clothes. He looked over his shoulder and glanced at her but didn't say a word. It was evident that she had been crying, the red rings surrounding her swollen eyes said it all.
This wasn't how she wanted to approach him, morning breath, tangled, matted hair, and a dirty old sweater, and a panties on. She actually wanted to look decent when he came, but he had seen her at worse, so this was nothing new.
"Hi." She said softly as she sat up, swinging her legs over the bed side, sitting on the edge.
He ignored her, throwing his clothes into multiple duffle bags.
"Look, I know that I messed up, and hurt you but I'm-" she pulled on the sleeves of the oversized sweater as she started down at her lap. She couldn't even face him as shame took over and a knot formed in her throat, she cleared her throat and slowly continued, "I'm really sorry, Pharaoh. I really didn't mean to intentionally hurt you. I just thought that after everything you were done with me, and you cheated on me...and as stupid as it may sound...I don't care about that." Tears silently began to fall on to her thighs, she sniffled and used the sweater to wipe her nose.
"I'm just really sorry." She said finally looking up at him.
He was zipping up his three bags by then. He stopped and looked up at her.
"Don't even sweat it, baby girl. You did what you thought was right for you and I ain't mad at ya. You can quit crying." He told her, looking her in the eyes.
She heard him, but there was something distant in his voice, like it wasn't her he was speaking to; No, not the woman he loved, not the woman that had his child..just another chick. He honest, he wasn't mad, and his heart hurt seeing her like this, but it was out of his hands at this point.
"So, if you're not mad, why are you still leaving?" She asked quietly.
"Because Ka'Miko." He didn't want to explain himself, and to be honest, he couldn't. He didn't want to leave her either, but his instinct told him he had to.
"Look," He said as he hauled the bags over his shoulder, "I'll come get Khaleesi every other day, spend some time with her, drop her off the next morning and we'll just do it like that."
She looked at him, then back down, it felt like she was accepting defeat. He looked at her for another moment, waiting for her to reply.
"Okay." She said quietly, "I'll walk you out. Where's she?" She asked.
"In her room, playing. I don't want her to see me leave so.."
She nodded, and let him leave by hisself silently.
After she heard the door shut, she got up and went to Khaleesi's room.
"Hey baby." She smiled,
"Mommy!" Khaleesi ran into her arms, "Daddy said you looked tired and not to wake you up."
'How considerate.' She thought sarcastically.
"Did you have breakfast already?" She asked.
"Yes, daddy took me to this place and we had pancakes and waffles and stuff." She explained.
"Alright, we're going to go on an adventure today, okay?" She asked.
"To where, mommy?" She asked with enthusiasm.
"We'll see." Ka'Miko was unsure herself, but she knew she had to do something to get her mind off of things.
She took a shower, brushed her teeth and fixed her hair before applying some make up to cover her bags underneath her eyes. She got dressed and fixed Khaleesi up before heading out.
She put Khaleesi in her car seat and started to drive around, she didn't really know where she wanted to go. She didn't want to run away..not this time. A vacation would seem like running to her, and that's not what she was doing. She turned on the music and drowned out her thoughts as she drove for almost 2 hours. When she pulled up on the empty street it, a chill ran down her spine. Leaves blew as the wind whistled in the crisp air. She took a deep breath as she took Khaleesi out of her car seat and carried her.
"Where are we, mommy?" Khaleesi asked, clearly freaked out by the secluded area.
"We're visiting grandpa." She responded as her own heart beated in her chest.
She avoided this moment for so long, but there was no avoiding it now. She walked through the tombstones til she finally came to the one with the chinese symbols on it and a Buddha engaved on it.
'Jinsu Lee Kamashe'
"Where is he, mommy?" Khaleesi asked as Ka'Miko put her down and sat cross-legged on the cold, grass.
Khaleesi climbed into her lap, and Ka'Miko held him.
"Heaven." She whispered.
She sat silently for a while, "You're grandpa was amazing..he would have loved you," She paused, "He does love you. He watches us from up there." She pointed to the sky.
"In the clouds?" Khaleesi asked confused.
Ka'Miko nodded.
"Exactly.."
She sat there so long, Khaleesi fell asleep in her arms.
"I miss you, daddy." Ka'Miko said, kissing her fingers and putting it to the tomb, "I really need you right now," She sniffled, "I always try to think of what you'd tell me to do..I wonder if you'll be proud of me, proud of the things I've done, I don't know. Sometimes I'm not even proud of myself." She scoffed.
"Things would be really different if you were here, you know. But, I know it's not your fault, I know you only wanted to spare me, guess that's the true meaning of love, sacrafice." She sighed, "I'll see you soon, Bà."
MESSAGE FROM TEE: I know y'all prolly mad at me cause I haven't updated in soo long, I'm sorry guys. LIFE IS KILLER, SENIOR YEAR SUCKS ASS. But, hopefully you enjoyed this...and yeah, comment and vote. Thank you guys for the support, I LOOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS, always makes my day :)