Chapter 49
Property
"Mercy..." Dad called the attention of Gael's mom when we got inside her room.
Napalingon naman siya at bahagyang nagulat nang makita ako.
"My daughter wants to see and talk to you." anunsyo ni Daddy sa kaniya.
Bahagya naman itong ngumiti at saka dahan-dahang tumango. Inilahad niya rin sa akin ang upuang nasa tabi ng kaniyang kama upang doon ako umupo.
"Dad, please leave us alone." pakiusap ko kay Daddy nang di siya tinitignan. "I want to talk to her in private."
"Okay..." sabi naman ni Daddy at agad kong narinig ang pagbukas at pagsarado ng pintuan.
Dahan-dahan naman akong naglakad papunta sa upuang kaniyang itinuro bago umupo doon.
"Thank you for visiting me, Blair..." malumanay niyang sabi sa akin habang nakangiti.
"I'm here for answers." I told her without showing any expression.
Tumango-tango naman siya. "I will answer anything you'll ask of me."
"You've commited adultery before with Isaiah and Ida's father. Kay Tito Arman." I started. "He is Gael's father right?"
She nodded. "Arman is Gael's father." she said. "But it wasn't intentional. Pareho naming hindi sinasadya yun. We were both drunk that night. I didn't even know he was married already. It was really a mistake but I don't regret it because that mistake brought Gael to my life."
Nanliit ang aking mga mata. "Pero ginulo mo pa rin ang pamilya nila." sabi ko. "Sinabi ni Isaiah na ilang beses kayong pumunta sa bahay nila para guluhin sila."
"I only want him to give Gael his surname. Iyon lang. I just want him to acknowledge Gael." paglilinaw niya. "Hindi ko hinihiling noon na kupkupin niya si Gael. All I want is to let Gael feel that he's accepted by his father by living out his surname. That's all I want. Pero nung sinabi ni Gael na tumigil na kami dahil hindi niya kailangan non ay tumigil na ako."
I bit my lower lip as I recall the first I saw Gael crying and drunk because of Tito Arman. Kahit sabihin niyang hindi niya kailangan ay alam kong gusto niya pa ring makamtan ang pagmamahal ng ama niya. And it already happened. He's already in good terms with his father and his family.
Okay, I already understand what she did before. I understand how she wanted Gael to be accepted by his real father. I understand how much she loves her son. But what happened now with her and my father... does she still have a valid excuse?
"Then what about being my Dad's mistress?"
Bitterness is dripping like acid in my voice.
"Was it also a mistake? Was it unintentional like what you did before?" mariin kong tanong sa kaniya.
She pursed her lips and stared at me. Her eyes are full of different emotions that I cannot name.
It breaks my heart as I look into her eyes. She has the same eyes as Gael. It feels like I'm staring into the eyes of the man I love instead of staring at my father's mistress.
I hate how I can't even afford to look away.
"Don't stare at me." I spatted. "Answer me!"
She exhaled a deep sigh, still staring straight into my eyes.
"When I got married to Genie's father and we had Genie. I was very happy because I was able to give my children a complete family. I love how he treasured Gael and our own daughter. Doon ko nakitang naging napakasaya ni Gael dahil naramdaman niya ang pagmamahal ng isang ama na hindi ko nagawang maibigay sa kaniya." kwento niya. "Wala na akong hiniling pa noong panahon na iyon kundi ang habang buhay kaming maging kumpleto at magkakasama. But destiny's not a good friend to me. Genie's father died. You don't know how I felt seeing my children in pain because of their lost father. Lalong-lalo na si Gael. He already lost a father twice."
"What does it have to do with my family?" pagputol ko sa kaniyang kwento.
"Your father has a great friendship with Genie's father before. That's how I met him. He attended his funeral before. He is with your mother. Ikaw lang ang wala noon. He cared for Genie and Gael so much that time. He was able to comfort Genie." she said.
My lips slightly parted with the sudden revelation. So she already knew my father way back?
"We've been great friends ever since and up until now." she stated. "Nang malaman kong may brain tumor ako at medyo malala na, sobrang natakot ako. Hindi ko pa kayang iwan ang mga anak ko at lalo na si Genie. Genie's still a little girl who needs a guidance of a parent. She already lost her father and I don't think she can afford to lose me too. Gusto ko bago ako mawala, masigurado ko munang nasa mabuting kalagayan ang mga anak ko. And that's the time your father came into my mind. I remembered how he cared for my children during the time of our lost." she reminisced.
Jealousy started to creep inside me. He cared for other's children while he can't even take care of his own child? I didn't even feel his love even once.
"I swallowed my pride and dignity as a woman for my children as their mother." she said. "Oo, alam kong maling paraan ang ginawa ko. Hindi ko naisip na may pamilya akong masisira dahil sa kagustuhan kong maging panatag ang loob ko sa oras na maiwan ko sina Gael at Genie. I broke your family just to for my own satisfaction. I'm sorry kung naging makasarili ako, Blair... I'm sorry kung nasira ko ang pamilya niyo. I'm sorry kung hindi ko inisip ang mararamdaman niyo."
Mabilis kong pinalis ang luhang lumandas sa aking pisngi habang pinapanood ang ina ng lalaking mahal ko na humihingi ng kapatawaran.
"You don't know how much you hurt my Mom... kayong dalawa ni Daddy." sabi ko. "My Mom loves my Dad so much. Sobra-sobra ang pagmamahal na binibigay ni Mommy kay Daddy. At ganon na rin ang pagtitiwalang binigay niya na napakabilis mabasag nang dahil lang sa ginawa niyong dalawa ni Daddy."
Tumayo ako mula sa aking kinauupuan at sinukbit ang aking shoulder bag ng maayos habang patuloy na pinapalis ang aking luha.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kayo mapapatawad. I can't seem to find forgiveness inside me. Nawala ata ang salitang 'yon sa diksyonaryo ko. Pati ang salitang tiwala, binura niyo." mariin kong sabi. "At hindi lang ang pamilya namin ang nasira niyo. Pati na rin ang relasyon namin ng anak mo—"
"Walang kinalaman si Gael sa kung ano man ang pagkakamali ko." pinutol niya ako. "I know that I'm his mother and that's a fact that we cannot erase, but my son doesn't deserves this. Okay ng ako ang maghirap, huwag lang si Gael o kahit si Genie. Wala silang kasalanan."
Nagsumikap siyang abutin ang aking kamay at halos manginig ako sa sobrang lamig ng kaniyang kamay habang ang kaniyang mga matang sumasamo ay nakatingin sa akin.
"I know you're not in good terms with my son, pero ako na ang nakikiusap sa'yo. Please give him a chance. He loves you so much that's even I, his mother, he turned his back on me because he lost you." she begged. "Alam kong wala ako sa posisyong humiling sa'yo pero para kay Gael. Please, Blair... If you still love my son, give him a chance."
"Hope you get well."
Iyon nalang ang sinabi ko at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak ng kaniyang malamig na kamay sa akin.
As soon as I turned my back on her, tears fell from my eyes—aching for my lost love.
"Blair! Blair!"
Dad called me when I got out of the room but I just continued to walk away without turning back.
It was a good thing that there were already taxi cabs lined up on the hospital's taxi bay and was able to go home at ease.
The moment I got home, I saw Mom hugging herself on the front porch. Nang makita niya akong bumaba sa taxi ay agad niyang tinungo ang gate para pagbuksan ako.
"Where have you been?" she asked me. "Ginabi ka ata ngayon."
"May ginawa lang po akong requirements para sa isang subject ko sa school. Ayoko na pong mag-uwi ng problema sa bahay galing sa school." pagdadahilan ko at hinalikan si Mommy sa pisngi.
Parang nakahinga naman si Mommy ng maluwag sa aking sinagot bago ako ginawaran ng matamis na ngiti.
"I already cooked our dinner. Hindi pa ako kumakain at hinintay kita." sabi naman ni Mommy at hinila na niya ako papasok ng bahay patungo sa may kusina.
Habang kumakain ay panay ang pa-kuwento sa akin ni Mommy ng mga bagay na ginawa ko ngayong araw. She even asked me if I already invited Ida and Isaiah for a dinner, but I manage to answer her question flawlessly.
"By the way, Blair..." Mom trailed off.
Nag-angat naman ako ng tingin sa kaniya matapos kong uminom ng tubig.
"I already booked a flight to Malaysia next week. I'm going to check your grandfather's property there." she suddenly told me. "But I'll come home immediately. May ihahabilin lamang ako sa caretaker non sa personal."
"I didn't know Lolo has a property in Malaysia." sabi ko naman habang tumatango-tango.
"Well, hindi naman na kasi napupuntahan 'yon." sabi ni Mommy. "And after your graduation... I'm planning to stay there for good."
My lips slightly parted, surprised by Mom's abrupt plans.
"I just realize that this is your Dad's house. I also don't want to stay in the Philippines kaya naisip kong doon na lamang ako titira sa Malaysia." she explained. "You can come and visit me there whenever you want or I'll visit your here. Hindi naman ganon kalayo ang Malaysia sa Pilipinas."
"I'll come with you." walang pag-aalinlangan kong sabi.
Bahagya namang nagulat si Mommy sa aking desisyon.
"Blair, you don't have to. Your life is here." she said.
"Mom, you're my only family left. You think I would let you live on your own?" sabi ko naman. "Doon nalang ako magt-trabaho pagkatapos kong grumaduate."
"Paano naman ang mga maiiwan mo dito?" Mom asked me, full with concern. "How about Gael? You will leave him here?"
Para akong napipi sa tanong ni Mommy at wala man lang akong maisagot sa kaniya.
Is she really asking me about Gael? Is she really asking me about her husband's mistress' son?
"See? I understand if you want to stay—"
"I already ended things with Gael, Mom. We broke up just a few days ago." pag-amin ko.
Napaawang ang bibig ni Mommy sa aking sinabi. She wasn't expecting that kind of answer from me.
"What?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya.