Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
My phone apparently needs my attention right this minute even though I can see that I'm still supposed to be asleep for twenty more minutes. I reach over and grab my phone and glance at the screen, my heart sinking as I see the contact name.
DEREK: I left a few things. I'm coming to get them.
"Dammit" I mutter as I compose a text back.
MAYA: When?
Suddenly there's a knock on the door and my heart stops. Shit. The last thing I wanted was to see him and I knew if I did that would lead to me having to tell Josh.
"One second" I shout as I quickly compose a text to Josh.
MAYA: Don't panic. He's here.
I send it without a second thought and jump out of bed, grabbing a robe and pulling it around me as I walk over to the door. I pull it open and Derek is clearly drunk. Again.
"What did you forget?" I ask and suddenly his lips are on mine. He tastes like vodka and his mouth is insistent against mine. I push back on his chest and he stumbles backwards. I wipe off my mouth as I stare at him in shock. "What the fuck?" I shout as I take a step back.
"I was an ass. I'm sorry."
"Oh we are beyond sorry's" I reply adamantly. "You hit me yesterday Derek. You physically harmed me, I don't want you in this apartment let alone your lips on mine" I say angrily.
"Maya" he tries but suddenly Morgan appears at my door.
"Oh I didn't know you had company. I burned my breakfast and I need help with the smoke detector" she explains. "Can you come help me reset it?" she asks as I nod.
"Be there in a sec" I assure her. "Derek get whatever the hell it is you need and get out" I instruct as I head down the hall to Morgan's. When she closes the door behind us I let out a deep breath, happy to be away from Derek.
"My brother seems to like you" she smirks as I let a smile pull at my lips.
"The feeling is complicatedly mutual" I reply as I run my fingers through my hair. "I need to get ready for school."
"I have a few things that might fit" she smiles as she heads off to her closet.
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I walk into class late and Josh's head flicks up so fast I swear he just gave himself whiplash, the relief is evident on his face as he sees me in the room unharmed. I flash him a soft smile and make my way to my seat.
"You okay?" Riley asks as I nod.
"Derek showed up this morning. I was a little spooked but I'm okay" I assure her with a smile as I turn my attention to the board. My phone suddenly buzzes and I grab it, smiling when I see the caller ID. I glance over at Josh and roll my eyes playfully as I read the message.
PRINCE CHARMING: You scared the hell out of me.
My heart swells as I read the message, it was nice to know he cared so deeply about my wellbeing. Of course it was also complicated that he cared. I sigh as I text back.
MAYA: I had to tell you. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry.
PRINCE CHARMING: Don't be. I don't want you staying there Maya. It's not safe.
MAYA: I like my apartment. I like my freedom.
PRINCE CHARMING: At least get the locks changed or something. Please!
I look over at him and see how focused he is on his phone waiting for my response. If this would give him peace of mind it would be worth it.
MAYA: Okay :)
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The class clears out, even Riley due to a perfectly timed call from Lucas leaving me the chance to talk to Josh alone. "I'm running to get coffee" James says as he heads out the door before Josh closes it behind him after he's out of earshot.
"Did he touch you?" he demands quickly taking me back. I think about lying but I know it would be pointless. After only a week Josh knew me second best to Riley.
"He kissed me" I admit as his face turns red and I swear he might explode. "I pushed him away and I texted you before I even opened the door" I add defensively.
"That's it?" he asks as I nod.
"I promise" I assure him as I take a step towards him. "I don't want to lie to you" I add softly as the distance between us becomes almost nonexistent.
"I almost had a heart attack this morning when you texted me. If he would've hurt you" he trails off as he caresses my cheek making my face heat up at the contact.
"I gotta go" I say as I quickly break away. As much as I wanted to kiss him we were in the middle of the classroom that was the whole reason why I couldn't let it happen. "Talk to you later" I add as I rush out the door and rush to the library. I collapse down at my spot as my phone rings.
"Hello" I say before looking at the caller ID.
"Hey baby girl" my mom says making a smile pull at my lips. I usually talked to her once a week but with everything that was going on we hadn't talked. "How are you?"
I laugh before responding. "Derek and I broke up" I inform her first.
"What? Why?" she asks confused as I let out a long sigh, running my fingers through my hair.
"He lost his job and decided to wallow in self-pity and alcohol. We've been fighting all last week and it kinda came to its head on Saturday."
"Why?" she asks as I bite my lip, my mind flashing to Josh. Our night out, his hands on my hips, the want to find out what his lips taste like that never seems to go away no matter how hard I try to will it away.
"It's complicated" I admit as she laughs.
"Isn't it always" she replies, "what's going on?"
"I'm attracted to someone who I can't have" I sigh as a long pause stretches across the line.
"Does he have a girlfriend? Wife? Baby mama?" she asks making me laugh as I shake my head.
"No mom" I assure her.
"So what's the issue?" she asks as I look around to make sure I'm alone before responding.
"He's my TA" I whisper as my mom inhales sharply.
"Maya Hunter" she scolds as I shake my head, letting my head fall into my hands.
"I know. I know. We kinda went out on Friday. Derek found out and he kinda hit me" I confess quietly.
"He what?" she exclaims. "Where the hell are you staying?"
"At the apartment. I kicked him out. I stayed with the other guy on Saturday."
"Did you have sex with him?"
"Mom" I exclaim as she laughs.
"Is he hot?"
"Beyond" I agree immediately. "He's basically the complete package."
"So did you?"
"No" I reply exasperated. "We haven't even kissed. It's too risky."
"What is the point of life without risks Maya?" she asks as I bite my lip, looking around the library and seeing Josh leaning against a bookshelf. He has a book in hand but he's clearly only interested in my phone call ending.
"I'll talk to you later mom" I mumble as I hang up my phone and lock eyes with Josh, challenging him to come and sit beside me. He takes me up on my offer.
"Everything okay?" he asks, it's like his routine question now.
"Just catching up with my mom" I smile as I glance up at him. "What are you up to?" I ask curiously as I grab the book he had been pretending to read. "I never took you for a John Green kinda guy" I tease as I hold up The Fault in Our Stars.
"Oh yea. The movie was amazing" he replies making me laugh as I push the book to the side. "You're hiding in the library again. What did I do?" he asks bluntly as I laugh.
"Nothing" I assure him. "I promise. I just needed some air, you know I get like that" I add as he nods his head in understanding. "Look I know this is already complicated but for me it's not just the TA thing."
"What do you mean?" he asks curiously as he settles into his chair to listen.
"Remember I told you that my dad left?" I ask as he nods allowing me to continue. "Things are great now, I mean my family is amazing but having someone walk out doesn't happen without leaving wreckage behind" I add as I take a deep breath. "I dated Derek for a year. He was the first serious relationship I ever had. I mean I had been kissed and gone to get ice cream but he was my first, he was the only one I lived with, and he was the only one I loved" I confess. "Despite all this I never once discussed marriage with him. I have a huge marriage phobia" I confess.
"So you're afraid of me proposing? Maya I haven't even kissed you" he adds as I laugh lightly.
"I'm just warning you" I reply defensively making him smile as he grabs my hand.
"So you don't want to get married?" he asks but I shake my head.
"I want to. I just. I want control. I need it. The fear of committing before I'm ready scares the hell out of me and I want forever not till divorce do us part" I explain as a smile pulls at his lips.
"I still like you" he assures me. I smile back at him as my phone vibrates on the table pulling us out of the moment. I grab it and see Morgan's name.
"Hello?" I ask confused as I answer the phone.
"Twice in one day. Should I be calling the cops?" she asks as my heart drops.
"Nope" I reply as I hang up the phone and look up at Josh. "You wanna kick my ex's ass?" I ask as his eyes widen and he follows me out of the library.
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I throw open the door to my apartment and find Derek drinking a beer, sitting on the bed, and watching TV. "I knew she would call you" he laughs as he turns off the television. "I'm sorry about this morning."
"I told you to go" I reply as he laughs, getting up and walking towards me.
"You told me I had to get what I left here before I left. I left you Maya. I can't leave here without you" he slurs as his hand caresses my cheek.
"We're over Derek" I say softly as I take a step back into the door, I grab it before it can click shut and I feel Josh's hand over my own making a calm spread through my body. "You have to go."
"No" he says adamantly. "I love you."
"I'm sorry Derek" I say as my voice surprises me. What was I saying? What was my heart implying? That I was falling for my TA? Of course it was. Because I was falling in love with Josh.
"It's the other guy isn't it?" he asks. "You promised you weren't cheating" he shouts as he takes a step towards me and before I can stop it the words are spilling from my lips.
"I didn't mean for it to happen. Things were so perfect and I really cared about you but I. I just" I stutter as the words get stuck in my throat.
"I knew you were sleeping with someone else" he spits angrily.
"I'm not. It's not like that. It's complicated."
"Don't give me that shit. You're such a slut" he slurs as the words hit me harder than any punch. I close my eyes to contain myself as I take a deep breath.
"I'm sorry" I whisper as I look down at the ground. I feel Josh's hand leave mine and I hear the sound of a door opening. He must've went to Morgan's. "You need to go" I repeat one final time.
"Fine" he snarls as he pulls open the door and storms out. Once the door slams shut I collapse onto the floor and when the door opens a second later I panic but I quickly relax when I look up into Josh's eyes.
"Hey, hey. No crying over him" he says softly as he falls to the floor beside me, pulling me into his arms. "It's okay" he soothes as I cry into his shoulder.
"You heard everything didn't you?" I ask as he nods.
"It's nothing I didn't already know" he says softly. "We have feelings for each other Maya" he adds as I let out a deep breath.
"I don't know how to stop" I admit defeated as I cling to him tighter.
"I don't think we can" he replies seriously as he pulls back and wipes my tears letting his hand linger on my cheek. Suddenly I realize that we're leaning into one another, eyes locked intently before mine flutter shut. His lips close over mine and shockwaves spread through my body, I can taste my tears on his lips and the faint trace of mint gum. I smile into the kiss, moving my hand up to the nape of his neck as his hand falls to my waist to pull me closer. Suddenly there's an urgency behind it as if we'll die if we pull apart. His lips part mine and a soft moan escapes from my lips as I kiss him harder. I had imagined this moment for the past week and I never thought it would end up with us on my apartment floor.
We fall back onto the floor making me laugh as I hit my head. "Shit sorry" he laughs as we break apart and I hold my head in my hand.
"Not your fault" I reply with a smile. "That was a really bad idea Joshua" I tease as I reach out and let my hand run down his chest that was covered in a thin button up.
"You didn't seem to mind Ms. Hunter" he teases as he closes the distance between our bodies. "I really like you."
"I like you too" I reply as I peck his lips again. "Maybe we should get off the floor" I add in a whisper as he laughs.
"Let me help you up" he smiles as he stands up and holds out his hand. I smile as I graciously accept his hand and stand up, his arms encircling my waist. "How's your head?" he asks worriedly as one of his hands flies up to hold my head in his hand.
"It's okay" I shrug. "I'll be fine" I assure him as I look up into his sparkling blue eyes.
"Mhm. You say that a lot" he points out as I head over to my bed and take a seat. He stands against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. "Are you really gonna be fine? Your head? Staying here alone?"
"I'm gonna be fine" I say again before biting my lip. I really did say that a lot. "Josh."
"What?" he asks curiously.
"You aren't gonna let me stay here alone are you?"
"Not a chance in hell" he confesses making a soft laugh escape my lips.
"Your sister is just down the hall. I promise if anything happens I'll sleep at her place. I'm getting the locks changed this week. Please Josh."
"You have my number" he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair.
"I have it" I assure him. "I'll call you if I need you."
"Fine" he gives finally. "Be careful" he says as he comes closer to me. "I'm gonna kiss you" he smirks as he leans down.
"Okay" I smile as his lips land on mine in a soft peck before he pulls away with a smile.
"I'll see you in class tomorrow gorgeous."
"See you in class Josh" I agree as he slips out of my house.