It hurt me that the mother who saw me growing up, how knows how I behave and how I am would side up with a person just because he is a billionaire without even hearing my side of the story.
I realized that no one will hear my pain it will be my burden to take. I promised to me I will not cry and I will do whatever he asks but I will make sure to keep myself out of his way.
Next Day
I woke up the next day and freshened myself and I kept gazing at the garden visible from the balcony of my room. I soon recovered from the trance of my past life when my stomach growled for food. Thinking back to his words and my own resolution to stay out of his way I called the phone in the kitchen.
"Hello I am Evelyn" I said when someone lifts it.
"Yes Mrs. Evans" I heard a maid say.
"Could you please bring my breakfast in my room?" I asked.
"I am sorry Mam but it is against the rules of this mansion to eat in their room. You will have to come down yourself and take it because servants are forbidden to take food in the rooms" She said.
I was surprised because yesterday he told me to eat in my room and staff was very much present at that time, sighing I hung up and made my way downstairs only to find my husband eating his breakfast. Though I wanted to talk to him about the food arrangements but I could not gather the courage to do so.
Seeing him after the night events was painful, and since I was not in a mood for another session of insult I made my way back to my room. It hurt to know that he doesn't care about me, well nobody ever did but somehow I expected him to even though everyone rejected me. I didn't eat anything since last night and not being well was making me emotional. I recalled my childhood memory when I was around 11 years.
I remember when Tessa, Brianna or Aron would fall sick Mom and Dad would spend the whole night sitting at their bed in their room. I loved the care they gave them. But when I fall sick, Dad and Mom went to a party leaving me alone in the house and my siblings have their exams so Dad sent them over to his friends so they won't be sick because of me. I stayed alone in my room, though my food and medicines were kept on the table next to my bed. But no one was there to take care of me.
At that time I thought that all of them had important things to do and once my parents will be back by night they would care for me like how they do for my siblings. I ate my lunch which was cold can soup and since I didn't know how to light a stove or Micro it. I ate it cold and took my medicine and slept. I woke up in the middle of the night and still no one was home. I saw the window of my room was open and the curtains were fluttering. When I got down and tried closing them I saw a black figure standing near my window. I closed the window swiftly and locked it before pulling the curtains over it and locked my room door and hide in the warm sheets.
I heard the noise of someone knocking my window and when I ignored them I heard someone banging our front door. I was scared but I made no noise apart from my heavy breathing due to fear and kept myself hidden. I heard footsteps coming near from inside my home and someone trying to unlock the front door of my room. It scared me that the person was inside my home now and could harm me.
After some time I heard a phone ring and the footsteps faded and the person left from our front door. I listened for noise and heard none but still, I didn't get up from my place because I was afraid he will come back. The whole night I was shivering in fear which resulted in increasing my body temperature. I would have fainted if not I hearing a car being pulled up in our parking and soon the front door opened. I heard and heard my parent's voice, they were discussing how the front door was open.
I opened my room door and ran towards my Dad for protection, to feel safe, only for him to push me saying "Girl you don't want to make me sick. Go to your room right now and sleep". I opened my mouth to say about the intruder last night, but seeing Dad in irritated mood when Mom being able to adapt to situations said "Sweetie your Dad is tired let me take you to your room". She held my hand and tucked me in, she felt temperature and gasped " Daniel please come, she is burning up".
" Riley give the brat some medicine and tuck her in. Prepare my suitcase I have to leave soon" he said in his indifferent voice
Mom smiled but the smile not reaching her eyes gave me medicine and left the room. I heard Dad leave in another 30 minutes. In the evening when he came I expected him to ask me how I was doing? but he didn't. He ate his dinner and retired in his room. When I asked Mom she said Dad had a lot of work to do today and that too after their trip and he is tired. After 2 days I was fine and my siblings came back. Dad was all smiles, once again. I thought maybe he really was tired.
After six months Brianna fall down from stairs and she was taken to hospital and Dad rushed to see her and stayed home for 4 days and spent all the time with her. Mom told him it was just a scratch and he can go back to his office but he refused, saying his princess was more important than work. Brianna recovered after a week.
Days passed and one day while I was walking back home when I felt someone walking after me and when I turned I found a hooded man and he looked similar to the man who stood at my window. I ran with full speed not noticing where I was running and a car crashed me. I woke up in a hospital and found that only Mom was there.
"Sweetie, how are you?" She asked. "I am feeling pain all over my body Mama" I said. "You have a fracture in your leg and broken your ribs baby. But don't worry baby it will go away soon. In another month you would be good as new" she said reassuringly.
I shook my head in understanding and then my eyes roamed the entire room looking for another presence and when I could not find him I asked her "Mama where is Dad?" .
Mom noted my disappointment and so she said "Oh, he was here sweetie he just now left for his office as he has an important meeting to attend". But this time not meeting my eyes.
"Mama.. " I smiled faintly and she lifted her eyes to me.
"Mama Daddy doesn't love me " I said while tears brimmed the corner of my eyes.
She was shocked at that and said "That's not the case baby. He loves you in his own way. Don't doubt that".
"But Mama when Brianna got scratches he said nothing is important than his princess. He stayed home with her for a week. I have a fractured leg and broken my ribs and yet he is at the office" I asked crying.
"Baby... situation was different at that time" saying she hugged me and I knew she was just trying to cover up the situation, but I had understood one thing I was never loved by my father he only tolerated me.
I sighed breaking the memory lane. I smiled a bitter smile when my own father didn't care for me then how come a billionaire man like him will, I should have expected that. I realized him not caring for me from the first day of our wedding. For him, I don't exist. I was sitting with tears in my eyes when I heard the phone ring at the nightstand. I lift it to hear his angry voice "Evelyn come down right away" and hung up.
The anger in his voice made me afraid and so hurriedly I made my way downstairs for the second time. I found him sitting on the table and when I made my presence known he glared at me with so much hatred that I looked at the floor unable to meet his eyes anymore.
I looked up when he said "Evelyn I know you were brought up in a family where everyone bears your tantrums but this is not your family home" I was shocked at that but he doesn't know how I was treated so it was easy for him to assume and as I looked at him he said, "This is my house, I don't want anyone disrespecting my staff".
At that, I was confused but he continued "Don't Pretend now. Maria here said that she took your breakfast to your room since you haven't eaten any food last night only for you to insult her and throw her out of your room. I thought you will behave after my warning last night but I guess no you want to throw your princess tantrums so I am going to wipe out your Princess syndrome out of your system. As a punishment, you will cook your own food until you learn to respect my staff".
I was about to defend myself when he held his hand and said "No need to say anything I know what you are so Evelyn don't even think about it and before I go I want you to say sorry to Maria".
I looked at a woman standing next to him who had a victorious look but said "It's ok Mr. Evans. I understand".
"No Maria, Anyone who disrespects my staff will have to say sorry" He cut her off.
Without even doing anything, without even given a chance to defend myself I was convicted. I held my head down and said "I am sorry Maria for pushing you and not appreciating you bringing in my food to my room". I looked at Maria who was somewhat shocked but covered up with an understanding smile.
He gave me one hated look and nodded and left. I looked at Maria to find her smirking at me and then other maids joining in to make fun of me. I ran to my room once again but this time I didn't want to cry. I knew I didn't do anything wrong. So why should I cry? I am good I am used to it, non one cares and I am used to it I chanted in my mind. But the storm of emotions wanted to come out and but there was no one to share it with.
I sat on my bed trying to get over the emotions building inside and only option was to write down my feelings so I took my bag and brought a diary and started writing my feelings. It had been a childhood habit when even Mamma doesn't know because I captured everything in my diary, my feelings, my thoughts and my dreams which I could never share with anyone fearing I would be made fun of or it would not be approved by my parents. I kissed my diary, my second best friend and started writing down.
"Dear Diary,
It's the second day of my married life. Any bride would have been happy and would be bathing in the love and attention of her husband and relatives but I am not one of those lucky ones. Well, I knew it from the moment I got this proposal.
Insults, mockery, harsh treatment have been part of my life but never thought I would be distrusted so much. I didn't expect him to love me forget it even like me but I thought he would be able to at least tolerate my presence. He is the second important man in my life after my father. And look I successfully disappointed him like my father.
It hurts when you are accused of something you didn't do. My father though, he showed his open hostility towards me but he knew I don't lie.. well he made sure of it... I don't know what I did to deserve this hatred from both of them. I don't know why Mr. Evans married me. He doesn't like me, forget it.. he hates me.
He has a prejudice about me without even knowing me. He thinks I am bad for his image makes me wonder what made him marry poor disgusting ugly duckling like me. I tried to make him happy by making an appearance at his party last night even though I was not well. But look once again I succeeded in causing discontent to him. Once a disappointment always a disappointment, my father was right I cannot make anyone happy.
When Mom called I thought I would tell her about the efforts I made and she would tell me it was fine and I can do better but it seems like now even she is disappointed in me like my father. She didn't want to hear about my efforts she wanted results, results that meant my husband is happy. But I could not meet the expectations.
The servants and maid at my house never looked at me with contempt or hate but I don't know why even maids here don't like me. I have not yelled or done anything bad to them. But seems like even they think I am unwanted here like my Dad and him. I wish I had the courage to run away from this unwanted marriage. I wish I had never met him. I am tired of being unwanted, undesirable wherever I go? Why can't I be the person who others at least can tolerate? Why am I like this?
Regards,
Eve.
I wrote this and felt a bit better. Writing down my feelings was a way to feel better was told to me by my best friend Ria. Thinking of my friend I remembered, It was time for me to apply for university so I thought I will unpack and settle my things and once I was done I thought of calling Ria.
I felt my stomach growling and so I went to the kitchen to find no maid there and it was a relief. I looked in the fridge and found no food. I thought of making a toast and orange juice. Once I was done I took my plate and was about to go to the room.
"Mrs. Evans you should have called me. I would have brought food in your room" Loyd said.
"Ummm... I was told that it's not allowed" I answered frowning.
"I.. I am sorry Mrs. Evans for the way Maria behaved, there is no such rule. I apologize for the inconvenience she has caused" Loyd said sympathetically.
"It's fine Loyd. I like doing things my own" I said smiling and made my way to my room.
Once I was done I thought that now that college is going to start we will meet and she might question me about the ring on my left finger and get upset over it. I will tell her myself about my private wedding to which of course she was not invited since she was from the middle class.
I called her number but she was not taking my call. I dialed multiple times but it was not reachable so I thought I will go to her house maybe she is upset I didn't call her from a week. I got ready and picked my purse and was about to step out when Maria stopped me "Where are you going, Mrs. Evans?"
"I am going to meet my friend" I replied.
"Well did you get permission from Mr. Evans?" She asked questioning me.
I understand I was not liked but treated like a child now after being married just irritated me so I said "I am not a child and why would I need permission from him and moreover you don't get to question me".
"Mrs. Evans Mr. Evan wants to know whenever you are going out?" She replied as if she didn't hear me.
"Well, I texted him" I said and stepped out smashing the door closed. I quickly messaged Mr. Evans and drove in the car even though there was a driver who insisted to drive.
When I reached my friend's home it was locked and when I asked around I found her home was locked for 7 days and no one knows where she went. I drove away dejectedly and passed a Starbucks and took a coffee and croissant while my way to a park, I used to come often whenever I felt low. The smell of coffee and the taste of croissant made me feel better and concentrated on what was happening around.
I had taken my usual seat and noticed kids playing. They seemed so happy, without a care in the world. It felt ages ago when I was like that but now everything has changed. The story of my life was running like a movie in front of my eyes.
I was around 10 years and Mom was pregnant with my youngest brother. Me and the twins Brianna and Tessa used to play with me. I remember those times when we were happy and I was part of the family. Dad used to love me and twins, we used to play together and share things reminding me that, at one point of time I was loved. But that all changed after my 11th birthday. My father started ignoring me and my siblings started hating me and I don't even know till date what it was that I did. I grew up learning all I have to do is follow Dad's command and do household chores and babysit my siblings and my life would be easy.
And I followed his commands to the dot. When I finished high school and wanted to apply for college and Dad refused to pay for my tuition fees. Even though I know he was not paying earlier too. I used to babysit neighbors, mow the lawns and a part-time job to pay my fees. But for other expenditures like clothes, shoes, food, books, medical bills, bus tickets, etc I was dependent on him. When students around me would be planning for vacation I would be looking for extra jobs during holidays and how I could save and lessen Dad's burden. Birthdays and Christmas came and went but I never received any gifts from him but all my siblings got new toys and new clothes. I was happy that at least they were not ignored like me. I knew that we were struggling with finance and Dad worked hard because he had to keep up with the ever-increasing demands of my siblings.
I worked hard during vacations in spite of part-time duration being, only 20 hours per week. I used to tutor students, babysit and any other work to earn more. I was happy when I was in my last year thinking I had saved enough to rent an apartment for a year and have the scholarship to save tuition fees, so I can apply to college but all went downhill when Dad told me that I cannot apply and even if I had already done that he will not allow me. After much convincing, I got the deal that if I can get a job then I can go ahead with my plan of higher studies. A week before my graduation, I saw black cars parked on our lawn. I hid behind a tree when I saw people coming out since I was socially awkward or should I say I was never introduced to my Dad's partners as his daughter. I sighed in relief when they left but still, Dad was at the entrance looking at the spot I was. I thought he was casually looking but when he made no move to go inside I knew he had seen me and was waiting for me to enter. I moved from the hiding spot and walked to Dad.
"Good Evening.. sir," I said bowing my head down not any response from him.
"Ah... dear Evelyn you just missed meeting a very important person. But no issues you will meet him soon" he said and for the first time after Aron's birth, dad kept his hand on my shoulder as he did for his other children. I was happy at this small gesture but again wondered who it was he wanted me to meet but didn't dare to ask.
Soon the day of my graduation came and I had topped my college and scored enough to secure the scholarship in the university. I was happy and hurried home because since the day of the black cars I found Dad happy with me. When I reached home and knocked on the door, the door was opened by Mom. She asked me how I did and I told her I did well. She was happy and said dad is home and we will have lunch together. I waited for lunch when all my family was there.
"So Evelyn why don't you tell your Dad about today?" Mom said smiling.
Dad looked at me expectantly and I replied "Sir I graduated and topped my college".
"Good" Dad replied.
"Sir... I wanted to tell you one more thing" I said.
When he looked at me with the cold look I hesitatingly said " I want to apply for higher studies and saw his jaw clenched through my eyelashes but I continued "don't worry I will get a stable job and you don't have to worry about any of the expenditure. I will manage. Also, I will soon be moving out so you..." I was cut off when his fist hit hard on the table.
I shivered and lift my head to look at Dad who was glaring at me and after some time, he said in his stern voice "Evelyn we will talk about that in my study after lunch".
I was scared when he said we will talk in my study I knew there will be no discussion and visiting his study will bring pain but I will have to go. I shivered thinking that. We continued eating and after lunch, I went to my room and after some time, Mom knocked and asked me to go to study. I knocked on the door and heard his gruff voice say "Come in".
I entered the study and saw he was on the call. He gestured me to sit and it was quite new because he never let me near him while he was on calls. I was preparing all the while how I will convince him to let me have a chance at college.
The click of the landline indicated that phone call is over and he looked at me and said "Evelyn I don't like to beat around the bush. So let me tell you one thing you cannot move out or apply for college because you are getting married by the end of this week".
I was shocked first but when he kept staring "Sir... I don't want to get married" I pleaded. I thought he will get angry but he seemed amused.
"Do you think you have a choice. I have been taking care of you since you were a kid and now it's time to pay back. Marry him and you will never have to bother about the job" He said looking seriously.
"But ..." I plead when he cut me off "Prepare yourself, Evelyn, you have one week".
I left the study and went to my room. My mother followed and tried to convince me that getting married was for my best. I went for interviews to get the jobs but only to get rejected. But each rejection was my determination for trying once more for the job. The persistence to get married from both of my parents led me to believe they were not going to listen so the only thing I could do was to run away from home and I did. I was caught from the bus stand where I was buying tickets to move to another state.
My father pulled me in his car when he caught me boarding the bus. There was a heavy silence but when we reached home he harshly pulled me out of the car and dragged me to the storeroom he pushed me inside and yelled at me. When he was not satisfied he kicked me in my stomach and lastly the words he uttered were "I should have known once a disappointment always a disappointment".
I was kept in the room for 2 days without food or water. On 3rd day Mom came with food and tried convincing me and when I again denied she said "Fine go ahead and live your life freely. But know that Evelyn if you stepped out of this house I will be dead then".
"Mom please" I pleaded but she left me locked in the room.
In the evening Dad came and asked gripping my chin in his harsh grip "Have you come to your senses, Evelyn? Are you ready for the wedding?"
I nodded not able to utter the words and thus I sealed my fate. I knew my father never liked me and I didn't want to give him any more reasons to not like me and most importantly can't lose Mom. I thought might be the person who I am getting engaged will at least be the person who likes me but no that could not happen. I shouldn't have hoped. Well and now I am a married woman for namesake.
I was lost in my thoughts when suddenly I felt flashes on my eyes to realize that paparazzi have somehow found my hidden spot and they were now taking pics of me. I tried to move away when one of them asked "Madam how do you feel married to Mr. Evans?" I was trying to make my way when another blocked my way and said "Please answer why a newlywed bride is alone in this park when she should be on her honeymoon?".
I felt my mind go blank with their numerous questions. I was not used to this much attention. I stood like a statue when I was pulled by a hand and was dragged to a car and when I looked around to find my so-called husband looking at me furiously.
He turned around when paparazzi came near our car to ask him "Sir when are you going on honeymoon? why your wife was alone in the park?". He smiled at them, that too a dazzling one and behind that smile, no one can see the furious man. He said facing the camera "Oh my god you guys are so innovative. Well, my wife was not alone. In fact, she was with me. I went to buy her some ice cream when you guys overwhelmed her with your questions".
"Oh, a multimillionaire like you in a public park?" One of them asked.
"Well, whatever my wife asks I do" He said smiling and then kissing my hand which was in his grip to convince them to which all laughed and then another asked, "Sir when are you guys going for honeymoon". I stiffened at the question but he answered it fluently.
"Well, we are on our honeymoon every day. I would say every second I spend with her is our honeymoon. And yes I am busy right now but I will make it up to her soon and take her on a long vacation" He answered confidently and entered the car and closed the rear side glasses and the driver drove us away. The whole of the car ride was silent but I could feel him seething next to me. I was shaking in fear seeing him enraged like that. He reminded me of the father when he caught me talking to a boy and the punishment I got after that makes me feel chills till now.
Once we reached home he got out and I made my way out hurriedly and was about to go inside to avoid him when he caught my wrist and dragged me to his room.
It seemed to me that my heart was in my mouth. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. I shivered when he closed the door and to safeguard myself I moved to the furthest corner of the room when he strode towards me with anger on his face. I moved back in fear and suddenly my back touched the wall. I wanted to move when I felt him encage me there.
"Do you have any sense? What were you doing in that cheap filthy park?" He shouted in a very loud voice.
I jerked in fear when he stepped back and lifted his hand I expected a slap on my face and closed my eyes. I waited for a while and didn't feel anything and opened my eyes to feel him looking at me intensely and asked "Why did you go there?"
I shivered in fear "I.. I went there to.." I tried to answer was cut off by his angry voice making me tremble in my spot.
He caught his hair front hair in grip and said "To what? humiliate me? and taint my reputation? He again brought his face near mine and said " I don't know about you Evelyn but I am a respected man and I have a reputation to hold and I won't let a cheap and gold digger like you to ruin it. I have stated earlier and I am saying again do not try to sabotage my image. My business runs on my reputation and if anyone and I meant it anyone tries to mess with it, I won't spare them" He said raising his finger at me " I will ruin you and destroy your family. I don't make empty threats. Think about your father who is making money because of me, the brother who who I saved from going to prison and the twin sisters who are still studying before doing anything to taint my reputation. Mark my words" He said clenching his jaws.
I shivered with his hatred filled look and looked blankly at him because I didn't know what to do because he won't let me say anything. He won't listen but the way he said cheap and gold digger, it hurt me. I controlled my tears and looked down so he won't see but I could not hold back and they fell out.
"Just Shut up will you. Don't you dare show me your crocodile tears. Go to your room and be there. You will get your food there as I know if I let you step in my kitchen what new issue you will create maybe get me blamed for harassment. You know what? do not step out of this house without my permission and do not show me your worthless face".
"I am sorry..." I said crying.
"Don't even bother because I don't want to hear your disgusting voice. I hate you and looking at your face reminds me that there are selfish and cunning people like you" He said and turned his back on me.
The disgust and hate in his eyes for me made me run to my room. I locked the door and sat on my bed. I don't know how long I stayed like that but I guess it was time for dinner because a maid came and kept the food on the table and left. I just stared in oblivion. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what I should. I felt so lonely, so hopeless that I lay down staring at the ceiling. I again recalled the past memories, sweet memories but soon they were turning into painful ones and tears were rolling down my eyes and I don't know when I slept because the next day I woke up again with a headache.