I woke up on Monday early for school and went to have a shower, I creamed and got changed into my uniform. I sat down infront of my mirror and looked back at my reflection and them down onto my bare wrists revealing the fresh cuts I had there. I looked back up and stayed on my face, did I look like my mum or dad? Rhianne and I looked simillar apart from the fact she had grey eyes and I had hazel. I had long black curly hair and slightly pouted lips I knew my dad was from Jamaica but my mum? My nan looked Italian so I'd say she was from there. My skin was more on the paler side of caramel. My Uncle was my dad's brother and my Auntie, was related to me by marriage not blood, just so you know. That's what made it even more sickening that my blood Uncle would do something like this to me, making me suicidal. I picked up my phone, keys and oyster and put it in my pockets. I wore my plimsolls instead of school shoes, I felt to and I knew they wouldn't say anything. I grabbed my bag and put it on my shoulder as I was walking downstairs and I went into the front room hoping my Auntie would be there but she wasn't, it was just Trevor sitting in the arm chair, he looked up and smirked.
'You look lovely Keira, you going to school dressed like that?' I kept silent and he stood up, and walked so close to me I could feel his breath tickling my cheeks.
'Have a good day and be good or I might have to teach you a lesson when you get home.' He said and winked, I felt the sick rising up my throat and I was tempted to vomit in his face but I held it back. Just as I was turning around I felt him squeeze my bum and he chuckled, I quickly ran out of the house with a tear rolling down my cheek and slammed the door shut behind me. Just like I expected, Ricardo was leaning against the wall and his eyes grew wide once he saw me crying. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back.
'Ssshh, Keira, stop crying.' I eventually calmed down and he wiped my tears away for me as we were walking down the road, he let me link his arm and we stopped once we got around the corner.
'Let me see your wrists.' He said and looked at me. I slowly shook my head and spoke quietly.
'They still have old bruises.'
'If so, let me see them.' He looked straight into my eyes to check whether I was lying or not and I slowly pulled up my sleeves to reveal the bandaged cuts, they were fresh and you could see the bright red blood stains through the piece of material.
'Keira PLEASE stop doing this to yourself!'
'I can't! Maybe if I done it the right way it would all be over, everything. I wouldn't have to cry or hurt anymore.' I said and he lifted my chin to look at him, my heart went abit funny :/ He looked back at me and I looked straight back into his dark brown eyes then did I notice how good looking he was infact MUCH better than that. He had a moustache and these juicy lips, oh wow. His shape up was perfect and he had chocolate skin not dark, I'd say more of a milk...listen to me! I blinked hard and he was still looking back at me analyzing every feature on my face, then almost like some kind of force between us both of out heads leaned closer together and I could feel his breath tickling above my top lip, his eyes were now closed but I couldn't close mine, I couldn't stop staring. Just as our lips were about to press against each others.
'KEIRA?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!' Ricardo's eyes snapped open and I looked over to see Trevor standing there with his jaw clenched and glaring at us both angrily. Ricardo grabbed my hand and pulled me with him as we ran, I'm not sure where he was taking me but I followed anyway, after a while of running we stopped and I started panting.
'I... don't... run...' I said breathlessly, he laughed and we walked up to a door, he unlocked it and we both went inside. It looked like his house since it had baby pictures of him and another girl that looked like his sister along with his mum.
'Is your mum home?' I asked.
'No, if she is she's probably knocked out or something.' I nodded slowly and he led us upstairs to his room. I sat on his bed and he sat down on his chair and got out a packet of sensations, he threw them at me and I smiled.
'How did you know I liked them?'
'I didn't, you're retarded if you don't like them so i just assumed you did.' I laughed and started eating them, he kept looking at me and eventually I stopped eating them and put them on the side.
'We going school then?' I asked noticing the time was now 8:15, he lived really close to school so it wasn't a problem.
'If we have to.' He said.
'Come,' I said and grabbed hold of his hand and we left the house and started walking to school. I let go of his hand when we got near and he looked at me.
'Why did you let go?'
'I seriously don't want to attract any attention to myself.'
'Oh...right.' He mumbled and we walked through the school gates, people started looking at me and I started to get paranoid thinking there was something on my face or in my hair and then I realised.
'Emo.' Someone muttered when I walked past and I swallowed hard, they were looking at me like I was some kind of circus freak. Ricardo pulled me nearer to him and more people started looking.
'Ricardo! Why are you with that fucked up girl?' He shot a screw in that boys direction and his face changed.
'She isn't fucked up.'
'She slits her wrists blud! Your telling me that isn't fucked? Pshh.' Ricardo let go of me and before I knew it was punching and kicking the life out of the boy. Some turned their attention to me and started whispering, soon there was a huge crowd surrounding them and I ran in to try and drag Ricardo off.
'PLEASE RICARDO STOP!' I shouted and he froze with his foot in mid air ready to stamp on the boys face. I wasn't sure what his name was but he was laying on the floor coughing up blood and clutching onto his stomach. I pulled Ricardo away and he shrugged my hand off him as we walked inside.
'You told them!' I said and looked at him in disbelief.
'You think I told everyone? Keira if I swore I wouldn't tell I mean it. Promises mean something to me you know.'
'Really? You're the ONLY person that knows Ricardo!'
'WELL I WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON IN THE HOUSE WAS I?' He shouted back at me with his jaw clenched. My face dropped when I realised both Sarah and Luke were in the house too, Ricardo kissed his teeth and walked away. I called him but he ignored me and walked around the corner out of my view. I groaned and hit my head onto the wall.
'You should becareful, you shouldn't try commiting suicide infront of the whole school.' Sarah said, I looked at her and she smiled.
'Why did you tell everyone?'
'I didn't. I just told Luke.'
'BUT WHY? WHY WOULD YOU TELL EVERYONE MY BUSINESS SARAH?'
'You shouldn't have got rude!'
'I WAS TELLING YOU WHAT I THOUGHT!'
'IN FUTURE THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK KEIRA, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO.' She said and looked at me in disgust before she walked away. People that were walking past in the corridor laughed and looked at me like I was a freak. I held back my tears although they were stinging my eyes to come out. I ran back out of school and stopped once I got around the corner and into an alley, I sunk down onto the floor and started crying hard. I felt beyond humiliated and embarrassed. I used to call Sarah my best friend and to think she'd do that to me? I banged my head into the brick wall behind me, gradually putting more force into it that was until Ricardo pulled me up off the floor and shook me by my shoulders.
'What the fuck are you doing Keira?! You're lucky I followed you out of school! Are you mad?'
'...I thought you would be upset with me.' I said quietly staring past him and into thin air, he turned my face to look at his and looked straight into my eyes.
'You need to stop, please. You're slowly killing yourself Keira.'
'I'm getting raped by my uncle, my sister's dying, I have no mum or dad, what do you expect me to do? If I go back home after today he'll do it all over again!' Ricardo sighed and put his arm around me whilst we walked towards my house. I knew no-one would be in so I unlocked the front door and he told me to go and pack some clothes and things so I could stay with him for a while. I did so and walked past Rhianne's room, I stopped outside of it and went in. I couldn't leave my sister, could I? Just for a little while. I went back downstairs and out of the house, Ricardo helped me with one bag and we walked in a comfortable silence until we got to his house. He unlocked the door and we both went inside, he led me upstairs to his room and put my bags down.
'You can stay in here.' He said.
'No, this is your room. I'll sleep on the sofa.'
'No Keira, just stay in here I'll sleep downstairs. My mum won't care that your staying here and my little sister won't mind either.' I nodded slowly feeling guilty, just as he was about to turn and leave the room I held his arm and he turned back around.
'Thank you.' I said and gave him a hug, although I wanted to do more than that I left it. He hugged me back and kissed me on my cheek, which made me smile he laughed and left the room. A while later I heard the shower turn on and I went downstairs to roam around, I looked at the pictures as I was walking around and stopped once I got to him and some other man. I picked it up and looked at it, he looked exactly like him so I assumed it was his dad.
'Enjoying yourself?' I jumped and he started laughing, I put the picture down and my mouth opened slightly once I saw Ricardo standing there with his towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping off him, I was going red I could tell.
'Erm... I erm... I was just... um, looking.' He laughed and shook his head as he went back upstairs, I can't stay here if he's gonna be walking around like that! I might just give into temptation and I do not want to be another Sarah, god no. I went upstairs when I was sure he was fully dressed and knocked on his room door, he opened it and I went and sat on his bed. He had a blow up bed on the floor and covers on it.
'I'll sleep there and you can have my bed, yeah?'
'Ricardo, let me-'
'You don't have a choice Keira,' I sighed and lied down on his bed, he came and laid next to me and we both stared at the ceiling.
'Is your wrists healing?' He asked.
'I think so, it hurts though.'
'Oh right, I'll clean it up for you.' He said sitting up and going to move off the bed, I held his shoulder and he turned back around.
'Wait... no don't yet.' I said and we both looked at each other, just then we had that moment all over again and before I knew it he'd pressed his lips softly onto mine, opening my mouth with his he slid his tongue in and I pulled him down with me onto the bed. We stayed in this position kissing for ages, I couldn't hear anything apart from my heart beating loudly. I pulled away after a while breathless and he looked down at me smiling.
'You've got nice lips you know.' He said and winked, I laughed and blushed. He got off me and went to get some new bandages and that antibacterial thing for my wrists. I turned on the tv and left it on 106 & Park, how did he have Sky in his room? Lucky. He came back in the room and sat next to me putting my wrist on his leg.
'How comes you know how to do all this stuff?'
'You get used to it when you have an alcoholic for a mum.' Now I understood why he said if she was in she'd be knocked out.
'Oh...sorry Ricardo.'
'Not your fault, I don't cry about it. I need to go get my sister at 3 so will you be alright on your own?' He said whilst dabbing that thing on my cuts, I winced and nodded.
'Good, there's food in the fridge if your hungry and I'll give you a spare towel.' I smiled at him in reply and he wrapped the new bandage around both of my wrists.
'Thank you.'
'It's alright just stop Keira, I'll be here to help you get through it and he can't hurt you anymore.'
'But what about Rhianne?'
'She'll be fine, I'll take you to see her when he isn't around.'
'Ricardo thank you, you do too much for me.'
'I'll help if I care about someone.' He said and left the room, I was really starting to like him I could tell but I needed to focus on getting better before anything else. I rested my head onto the pillow and started falling asleep.
I woke up and looked over at the time it said 2:45 and the house was silent, so Ricardo must have already left. My vibrated and I saw a new message, I looked and it was from Uncle Trevor.
Get yourself home Keira.
Now.
I deleted it and put my phone back on the side, I took a deep breath and went downstairs, the doorbell went and I looked before I opened it. Luke barged past me and I frowned.
'Excuse me is the word.'
'Shut up, where's your hubby?'
'Excuse me?'
'Where's Ricardo? I want my money.' I shrugged and he pushed me against the wall screwing.
'Look, I'm not fucking about where the hell is he?'
'I said I don't know!' He kissed his teeth and walked out slamming the door shut behind him, I more than disliked him, I hated him. I went back upstairs and walked past his bathroom when something caught my eye, painkillers.