After our successful date night a few weeks ago, Derrick and I really hit it off. We hung out frequently and studied together for exams.. I don't know what was different from this time than the last time we were going out, but it was good.
Unlike a few months ago, he wasn't constantly trying to make moves on me. He was letting me be, and when he let me be, I enjoyed his presence.
I still had Harry on my mind all the time. It was just lessened now that I was with Derrick.
Now that exams were finished, there was a lot off my plate. It was no longer mandatory to go to classes this week, but I attended Visual Art with my friends so we could continue creating paintings for the upper hall.
"It's so hot in here." Bella panted as she wiped sweat off her forehead.
"I'm opening the windows." Maddie said as she dramatically flung herself on the table.
"How are you wearing a long sleeve Alaska?" Alice yelled at me.
I took my burgundy long sleeve off and threw it onto my bag along with my other art supplies so that I was wearing a sports bra and high waisted denim shorts only.
"Not anymore." I said. I felt disgusting. It was nearly 4pm, and we had been stuck in the art room with no air conditioning nor air flow since 1.
Harry walked in the room with a few scrolls in hand and a bucket of acrylic and water paints in the other.
"Sorry Mr. Styles, we had to open the windows. It's like 40° in here." Bella explained as she fanned herself with her hands.
"Not a problem Bella. I agree it's pretty sweaty in here." Harry chuckled as he rolled up his sleeves.
He was making friendly conversation with everyone except me. Alice would occasionally give me looks anytime he would talk to me at all, but his tone with me was definitely different from how he was talking with everyone else.
On a positive note, my next work was almost completed. I had used water color and black ink to create it. It was something simple but aesthetically pleasing; a black and white contour drawing of a hand and a vase holding colorful flowers.
"This is almost done, Alaska. It looks lovely." Harry said as he looked over my shoulder.
"Thanks.. Just gotta sign it off and you can have it." I replied.
"That's good news." He said. He was still standing behind me after he was finished talking, his eyes watching intently on my every move. My phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered it. Harry stepped a bit back and pretended not to watch me, but I knew he was.
"Hey Lass, i'm picking you up soon and we're going for ice cream." Derrick said suddenly.
"Derrick! You don't have to drive all the way here I knew you were babysitting earlier... It's a thirty minute drive!" I squealed.
"Too late, i'm already at the intersection right in front of the school. Be out in five minutes okay?" He said.
"Okay." I took my lip between my teeth to conceal my smile. "See you." I hung up. Harry had began to walk to his desk before I turned around to see if he was still there.
"Alaska has a boy-friend, Alaska has a boy-friend!" My friends teased childishly.
"Shut up. I hate you all." I rolled my eyes, but then began to laugh with them.
I exited our group of fits and walked over to Harry's desk to explain that I was leaving.
"Mr. Styles? I have to go now. See you later." I said to him. He was rubbing his eyes with his hands.
"Mhm. I heard. Bye now." He said as he flipped through papers in his book. I sighed at his change of tone. Just as he began to become friendly again, Dark, angry Harry had to overshadow it.
--
"Two strawberry soft serve cones please, miss." I said cheerily to the woman working at the cash.
"Of course darling. That'll be five dollars." The older friendly lady at the cash replied. Derrick slid a five dollar bill on the counter and winked at me before I could object.
"You need to stop doing that. I can pay for food too you know." I said.
"Never." He replied. I pushed his shoulder lightly.
"Here you go." The woman said as she passed us our cones. I told her thank you, and then Derrick and I walked out to go sit on the stairs outside the store.
It was dreadfully hot, and the sun was burning my skin. I could feel the rays of heat on my head. It sucked having dark hair during the summer, because it was like a heat magnet for the sun.
"So," Derrick said as he licked the ice-cream that was dripping off the side of the cone. "How do you think exams went?"
"Meh. I think I did okay." I admitted.
"Don't be ridiculous. You probably did amazing." He assured me.
"Maybe." I replied.
"How's uh... That friend in London? The whorish one that slept with her teacher?" Derrick chuckled.
"She's not a whore." I said angrily.
"Uhm. Alright. How is she though?" He asked.
"Why would you say she's a whore?" I ignored his questioned.
Derrick scratched the back of his neck and raised his brow. "I was kind of just.. joking around, lass."
"Do you see me laughing?" I said sarcastically.
"Babe, calm down." He laughed as he rubbed my shoulder. I sighed.
"Let's finish these up and we can go to my place?" Derrick asked as he was near finishing his ice cream.
"Mkay." I replied. My words were hollow, meaning there was really no meaning behind them, it's just rude not to respond. I wasn't actually listening to most of the words he was saying. Suddenly, Derrick moved closer to my face and squinted his eyes at me.
"Lass, you've got something on your nose..."
Before I could begin to ask what it was, Derrick pressed his lips against mine and put his hand on the small of my back to pull me closer. I pulled away immediately and ran my tongue over my teeth to soothe my discomfort.
The displeasure of what had just happened made my body rigid and sent chills down my spine. And not the good kind of chills.
I ran my fingers across my lips. "Why did you do that?" I looked up at him.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Impulse."
I stood up and turned around so that my back was facing him. I tossed my cone in the garbage.
"Our first kiss I guess." He said to me. Yeah. And probably the last.
Why I was so queasy when I thought about me and him getting intimate was beyond me. For some reason I just couldn't let him do anything behind hugs. Dates, deep conversations, compliments... Those I enjoyed. But I didn't want anything to happen intimately between us.
Deep down, I knew it was because the only person who has ever touched me was Harry, and I say this in the most normal way possible; he kind of owned my body. It was my body and I had control, and I could say no at anytime, but I wanted him to know he was allowed to have control over it as well- which he did. He could make me weak at the knees by whispering in my ears. I could be smitten long before any clothes were off.
All of this was the reason I didn't want anything intimate between Derrick and I. I wanted to wait until I was over Harry, because the only thing I would be thinking about during our sessions is how much better Harry could be treating me in that moment.
I pushed those thoughts aside, locked them in a chest and threw away the key. I needed to stop bringing him up in my head. I have to get over him, or it'll eat me alive.
However, I can't get over how it didn't feel good when he kissed me. I didn't like how it felt. It didn't make me feel happy, it didn't make me weak at the knees. Only Harry could do that to me.
"I guess." I responded to his comment. I sounded not impressed. I hope he understood the meaning of my tone of voice.
Derrick walked closer to me and turned me around. He brushed the hair off my face and played with the belt loop of my shorts.
"Let's head over to my place." He whispered seductively in my ear. I took his hand off my waist and walked farther away from him.
"Derrick, i'm not feeling well. I really can't." I lied as I scrolled through my phone.
"Alaska we don't have to do anything. We can watch soap operas on Netflix for all I care." Derrick's regular friendly voice had returned.
I went through my 'Reminders' app discreetly to find inspiration for a lie. I could explain to him what errands I had to run so that it sounded more realistic. I found myself becoming better at lying the longer our relationship went on.
A pang of guilt hit me as my eyes scanned these checklists I had made a while ago.
Dentist Appointment
Cousin's birthday
Rent payments due.
R e n t p a y m e n t s D u e.
I dropped my phone on the ground and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I paced around in a circle as I whispered "Oh god's and Oh no's" to myself. I haven't payed for rent since December when Harry first offered he would pay it for me. That was when we were together. He must've stopped the payments when he ended things. Back in March.
"I need to go home. Right now." I said to Derrick.
"Lass come on..." Derrick whined.
I picked up my phone and headed to his car.
"Seriously, Derrick. We need to go now. Please!" I yelled.
"Seriousl-"
"I haven't paid rent in months." I explained. "They are going to evict me and take away the suite with the walls that I have been working on myself all this time." I said as calm as I could.
"Oh, shit." Derrick's eyes were wide.
"I know. Let's go." I replied. We both headed to his car as quick as we could.
--
Derrick dropped me off in front of the main doors. I ran inside the building to talk to the friendly lady at the desk.
"Hi, I'm Alaska Dwyer, I live in a suite on floor 8?" I panted.
"Yes..?" She sounded confused.
"I haven't been keeping up with rent payments for months now. I can pay it off now, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I explained.
The lady looked through her desktop and scrolled through things with her mouse.
"Miss Dwyer, there seems to be a misunderstanding here." The lady said.
I looked at her name tag. It read 'Kelly'.
"Okay.. Kelly? Is that your name? Yes. My parents cut me off of funds because I went to art school instead of law school. Now I have to suffice on my own for the first time in my life. I'm sorry that I forgot for such a long period of time, but I assure you I can pay it off now and I won't forget again." I explained, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible.
"Miss Dwyer; There is a misunderstanding here. If you would let me finish, the misunderstanding would have been cleared up by now." Kelly was getting impatient with me.
"There has been no missing rent payments whatsoever. There is however been a change in the credit card holder name, in regards to who pays the monthly rent for your apartment. It's no longer underneath Dwyer anymore." The lady explained.
"What are you talking about?" I questioned.
"You, young lady haven't been paying your own rent since December. But your suite is still being paid for. So there's virtually no issue." She continued.
I think I knew what she was saying. But I needed her to say it so I understood.
"However, Your rent is being paid by someone of the name Styles, Harry." She said. "In my professional opinion, rent for living space here is not cheap. Not in the slightest. It's quite luxurious and is basically in the heart of the city. This Styles, Harry must really care about you having a nice place to live, and if not, I think you owe them either a humongous thank-you, or a great apology for making them put up with your fees for this long."