~Sang~
The rest of my shift that night was as normal as possible. I had lunch with the twins on my break, and after my shift was over, we went home. And that's where normal ended. There was an Edible Arrangements bouquet waiting for me in front of the door.
I let the kids in before picking it up and bringing it inside, placing it on the kitchen table. There's a card attached that reads, "I was a dick. Always yours, Honey". Rolling my eyes, I place the card in the kitchen drawer and open the arrangement. The whole thing is filled with pineapples and strawberries in the shape of hearts. I leave it on the table as I get dinner ready, snacking on it occasionally, but leaving most for after dinner.
Can't let good fruit go to waste right?
The next few days are much of the same. On Tuesday, Owen and Kota came to the hospital with Axel. They also claimed to not have seen Nathan since he left Sunday night. When I arrived home with the kids, there was another present waiting for me. This time, it was signed copies of the Mortal Instruments series, and the DVD on blu ray. The note attached had a picture of the recall rune x'ed out, below it said, "You're stuck with me. We have kids. Your loving pain, Honey".
Wednesday brought Luke and Gabriel with Marc, still with no knowledge of Nathan's whereabouts. The gift left in front of my door were the board-games Life and Sorry. The attached note said, "I'm sure I'll be apologizing for the rest of my life, but you three are worth it. Idiotically yours, Honey".
By Thursday I'd grown tired of asking. So when Victor showed up with Corey, I did my best to ignore them. The gifts that day were two of the Hatchimals toys for the kids, and a life sized stuffed Labrador Retriever for me. The note said, "Not sure if you'll let the kids have a real pet yet, so this is in preparation for when we get them one for their birthday. Forever in your doghouse, Honey".
I hate to admit how much his perseverance is wearing me down. I'd actually begun looking forward to his gifts, and the attached notes always make my heart ache. Needless to say, he was still in the doghouse, but it's refreshing to see that him making an effort.
On Friday, I ignore North and Silas as they come in with Raven, but tell Raven to contact the others and have them here by lunch time. When it's time for my break, all of the boys are waiting for me in the waiting room. I have them follow me up to pediatrics, and let them spend time with the twins while we all have lunch in the playroom. The kids seem to enjoy it, but Nathan's absence is still felt.
When we all return to the house, there is no gift waiting. I try to smother my frown as I open the door and turn on the lights. The sight that greets me is something straight out of a beach themed fairy tale. There's a sandbox in the middle of my living room, a palm tree in the corner by the balcony, and twinkle lights hanging around the walls. Nathan is standing in front of the kitchen with a bouquet of imperial roses.
"Kids, go to your room," I tell the twins. "Mommy might say something that you don't need to hear."
"Mommy," Morgan pulls on my hand. "Give him a chance ok?"
"In your room love," I tell her.
She gives me a pleading look before grabbing her brother's hand and takes him down the hall to their room.
"Raven, you hid all the firearms before you let him in right?" Corey whispers to Raven.
"Maybe," he answers.
Marc and Brandon chuckle before Axel pins them with a glare.
"Is there a reason there's a fake beach in the middle of my living room, Nathan?" I ask him.
"This is today's gift," he tells me.
"And what exactly would that be?"
"A family vacation to Myrtle Beach. After this whole Volto mess is taken care of, I want all of us to spend some time together. As a family."
"You mean the family where you're not sure if the kids are yours?" I quip.
So what, I'm petty.
"I deserved that," he sighs. "And so much worse. But please, Sang. Peanut, I am so sorry. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but that doesn't mean I'll stop asking for it. We're a family. Those kids are mine, just as much as they're Victor's and Gabe's, and I will fight till my last breath to be in their life. And yours. My day begins and ends with you and our kids, Peanut. Please just...please let me try and fix this. Fix us. Let me try and make this right."
"You didn't just hurt me, Nathan," I say as I shake my head.
"We halfway forgive him, Mommy!" Cole calls out from the hallway.
"Wasn't talking about you, ya little eavesdroppers!" I laugh, causing the boys to chuckle while I continue. "Every man in this room deserves an apology just as much as I do. Because of my anger with you, none of them saw the twins this week." I stop for a beat before doing a bad impersonation of Ricky from I Love Lucy. "So before you grovel to me, I think you got some explaining to do with your brothers. (Ricky from I Love Lucy voice) Now, I'm going to change. Somebody plan dinner, and make sure there's no sand or blood on my carpet when I get back."
I walk over to Nathan, and get a small glimpse of the beating he received. The skin around his left eye is discolored, the bruise that was most likely there is still fading. His eyes are strong and determined. I keep my expression blank as I take the flowers from him. I step in close and place my hand on his cheek, giving him a small smile as I knee him in the balls. He goes down like a sack of potatoes as I turn to walk away smiling. That is, until I hear him cough out my name.
"Sang, wait," he moans. "The mark...on your wrist...what is it?" He manages to get out through deep breaths.
Shit!
"It's Daddy Luke's tattoo!" Morgan calls out.
"What part of in your room did you two not get!?" I call out exasperated.
Damnit! Ratted out by my own kids. Guess the cat's out of the bag now.
"Cupcake?" Luke grins, "You got a tattoo for me?"
"Mommy has a tattoo for each of you," Morgan supplies.
"Morgan Elizabeth! To your room! Now!"
This time I can hear the pattering of their tiny feet as they retreat to their room. I sigh, dropping my head in my right hand as my left clutches the flowers tighter.
"Baby?" North asks.
"I'm going to change. I stand by what I said. No blood on my floors."
Walking back to my room, all I can think is how I now have no choice but to show them.
Shit, shit, double shit! I knew they'd find out about them sooner or later, I was just hoping it would be later. Maybe when we were back on better terms.
Entering my room, I go into the closet to change out of my scrubs. I pull on a pair of grey knee length yoga pants, and a white racer-back tank. If I'm going to show them, I'd like the least amount of clothing shifts as possible.
Taking a deep breath, I step out of my room and make my way to the boys. When I walk in they're all either sitting or standing around the couches, except for Gabriel and Luke who are by the box making sand castles. Even Nathan made it to one of the couches.
North, ever vigilant, is the first to see me emerge from the hallway. He hesitantly walks over to me, and we meet in the middle.
"You have tattoos for us, Baby?"
"Yeah," I grumble. "But don't think this changes anything. These tattoos are a few years old. I meant what I said that night."
"We know, Baby," he responds. "And we will. We'll earn it. We just want the chance."
"Can we see that tattoos, Pookie?" Sean asks. "I'm sure they were done correctly, it would just help my conscious as a doctor if I saw for myself."
"Fine," I huff out.
The boys all crowd around me, leaving the couches free for Axel and the others. They've already see the tattoos. Most of them were there when Raven did them.
I start with the easiest one first, Lukes. His is on the inside of my right wrist. It's the sign for "I love you" in ASL. Next, I show Sean's. Moving the neck of my tank to the side, I show the heart rate symbol with the heart in the center, right above my heart. Next I pull the left side of my tank up to show Victor's. It's the opening notes to Winter on my ribs, right where he used to play. Then I lower the left side of my yoga pants to show them the anchor on my hip that I got for Silas.
I have to turn around to show the others. Kota's is the electron configuration for Tellurium, which has the atomic number 52, it's on my left shoulder blade. I show Gabriel's next. It's a black bird with an orange breast with a music note in the center. It's on my right calf muscle. I then move my hair out of the way to show them North's tattoo behind my right ear. It's a gold compass with NS in the center. I move the center of my racer back out of the way to show Nathan's at the top of my spine. A Celtic heart knot with a black sash around it.
Last but not least, I place my foot on the coffee table to show them Owen's. I lower my sock to reveal the yin yang symbol on my Achilles tendon.
Once my little show and tell is done, I look into the eyes of the nine men who have held my heart in their hands for so many years, and finally feel that vice grip on my heart ease up a bit. For the first time since they arrived, I think we'll be ok.