C H A P T E R | FIFTEEN
WAITING ROOM
𝙲 𝙰 𝚁 𝚃 𝙴 𝚁 𝙼 𝙴 𝙺 𝙷 𝙸
"TELL me something that you've always wanted to do but neva' done," Carter asked as Stoni's eyes focused on the passing of people, their cold wintry breaths in the air, and the warmth of his hand as it enveloped hers, "It could be anything," he added, "No matta' how small or big."
"I don't know," Stoni said in a low squeaky voice as she and Carter walked the length of Central Park. It was freezing outside but luckily their heavy coats warmed them and fought off the deathly cold, "I never thought about it before, Papi," she shrugged her shoulders meekly. Really, no one had ever asked her something like that before. "How do you think of questions like that?" She was curious - - no one she knew ever thought about things like that, "Why do you think of things like that," she giggled and looked up at him as he stared ahead with his dark green eyes that she loved because they reminded her of a forest of trees - - a rainforest, something tropical.
Stoni watched in admiration as the wrinkles in his forehead creased when he laughed and the slight dimple that arose in his cheek when he licked his lips. She looked up to his tall height that soared high above hers and awaited his answer. It was delayed but it came, "Things like what, baby doll?" Said Carter, "I didn't think it was a weird question."
"It wasn't - - I mean it's not - - it's just - -I never had anyone care so much to ask me that," he looked down when she said that, still getting used to this whole notion of being the first person who ever really gave a damn about her and her desires, "That's kind of like those questions - - those what's one thing you wanna do before you die questions, you know?" She giggled to mask her embarrassed feelings, "I don't know."
"Makes you think, huh?" He smiled, allowing an elderly woman to pass him before he passed, "I feel like they're the most important questions though."
"Why?" She asked, "Aren't there plenty other more important things than that?"
"Because, Stoni," he said, his tone changing to a more serious one, "You never know when your life will be snatched away from you - -," Stoni could see his tone had changed completely and saw there was something in his eyes - - disdain maybe, "This - - all this shit," he pointed around him to the people, businesses, and cars, "It's all temporary. We're all just waitin' you know? Life is the waitin' room."
"The waiting room?" Her doll like features looked deeply to him for clarification, "What are we waiting for?"
"The next part," Carter said calmly, "The after life. It's sorta like - - like limbo," now she understood what he meant, "This life is just where we wait for the next one. It's the next one that matters in my opinion - - this don't mean shit. People are crooked, the world's wicked - - all fucked up - - and some of us get to wait here longer than others but eventually, we all go...every last one of us."
"Where do we go?" She was asking simplistic questions like a child, "Where?"
"Well," he laughed a little and finally looked down at her again, bearing his green eyes to her innocence, "That depends, baby doll," he paused long enough to hear her ask another question - - on, what - - "Depends on what you believe in and who you believe in - - on who's your God or if you even have one. I can't answer that for you."
She held his hand and she felt something stirring inside her, "Papi I don't like this talk," Stoni said quietly as she squeezed his hand, "About God and dying and heaven and hell - - it scares me. I wish it wasn't that way. I don't wanna leave you," she squeezed his hand, "I wanna stay with you forever," he was foreshadowing something but she just didn't know what. Sometimes Carter just got too deep for her and it made her uncomfortable - - not him but the subject.
"Foreva' is a lonnnnng time. You sure about that?" He said lightening with laughter, "I don't know about foreva' - - I gotta check you out a lil' more first," he joked and squeezed her hand back, "You might be crazy."
"Papi!" She squeezed and pushed him, "I am not crazy!" Stoni laughed her cute kiddy laugh that always made him laugh, "I'm a good girl," she smiled, "And you like it - - that's why we're on a date right now."
"Oh so it's a date when you want it to be a date but when I want it to be a date you tell me," he paused and imitated a woman's voice, "No Papi no you're marrieeeddd - - blah blah."
"Well you are."
"Yeah," he said flatly, "Anyway, answer my question."
"Ummmmmm," Stoni scrunched her face and looked around to the snow all over the ground, a sure sign of New York city winter, "It can be anything I've wanted to do but never done? Anyyyyything?"
"Yes," he mocked her playfully and pinched her reddened nose, "Anyyyyything." Carter laughed and watched her shake her nose back and forth like a bunny rabbit sifting through hay.
"Okay," she looked up at him, "The zoo! I wanna go to the zoo - - I've never ever ever evveeer been Papi. I want to go."
"Worrrdddd? Not even the city zoo?" He was shocked, "Damn ma, fa'real?"
"Mhm," she nodded and stopped in front of him, "Can we go?"
"Now?" She couldn't have possibly meant now, "Babydoll it's New York city in the middle of December - - Christmas time - - the zoo ain't open," her face immediately lost it's vim and vigor, "Don't pout like that," he said tugging at her lip, "We'll go in the spring when it gets warm, okay?" He reached down and rubbed her cold cheek, her saddened face that was framed by the soft black curls that were natural to her hair's curly texture.
She shook her head no, "But I wanna go now," she whined, "I wanna go now. I thought that's why you asked me - - cause we were gonna do it now. I wanna see the monkeys - - I love them on National Geographic and Animal Planet - - especially the babies. I lovveee the babies - - I never saw one up close."
"We can't do that now though, babe," he said softly, "If they opened the zoo when the weather was like this all the monkeys would either catch pneumonia or freeze to death. They can't be out in the cold like you and me. Now would you want that to happen to the baby monkeys?" He knew he had to reason with her because she wanted what she wanted and the zoo seemed like something really important to Stoni.
"I promise on my life I'll take you to the zoo the first day they open that mah'fucka," he laughed, "And if that's not good enough - - I'll take yo' ass to Africa on a real life African safari or to a rainforest somewhere so you can see all the baby monkeys, hippos, and gorillas that you wanna see. All of em' til' my baby doll's heart is content." Her face brightened and she nodded enthusiastically knowing that Carter had the means to take her on a safari if she really wanted him to; he'd do anything he had to, to keep her smiling.
"Okay," she said, "As long as you promise me," she said sticking out her pinky. Oddly, it reminded him of when Khloe always made him promise that way, "Pinky promise on it."
"Aight," he locked pinkies with her, "I promise I'll - -," she interrupted him.
"You have to say your name. Like," she giggled, "Like this, 'I, Papi Carter'"
"Slave driva' - - geeze I swear," he laughed, "Aight, ma - - I," he laughed through it, "I, Papi Carter, promise to take you - - I mean my baby doll Stoni Flores, to the zoo in the spring - - so she can see her long lost brothers and sisters - - the chimps, the monkeys, and the gorillas."
"Papi!" She squealed again and punched him in the shoulder, "Oooooh I'mma kill you!" Stoni picked up a fist full of snow and threw it at him, landing on his long checkered peacoat.
He looked down at the remnants of pieces of white snow falling from his coat in flakes and then back up to Stoni who curved her eyebrow and was molding another snow ball in her hand, "Oh you don't want to do this," Carter said as he stood across from her, "You really," he grabbed a handful, "Really don't wanna do this, Stoni."
"I don't?" She said with attitude, "I think I do, Carter," Stoni smirked and then threw the snowball at him, this time hitting him in the arm and stuck out her tongue, "Nanana boo boo - - you gonna cry now?"
Carter laughed and catapulted one back to her that hit her in the stomach and started an all out war between the two of them. They were both having a first simultaneously - - their first snowball fight in Central Park. The fight resulted in Carter pinning her in a corner with one snow ball left in his hand and one left in hers. He could have sworn he heard that dramatic cowboy music that played in the movies when there was a showdown between two desperados. Inside his head he was laughing his ass off and waiting for the tumbleweed to roll between them both.
"Only one left," she said, "And I'm gonna hit you right in the nose," Stoni wagged her eyebrows and smirked. Carter didn't say a word, he just concentrated on her hand and her body, "Don't spare me cause I'm a girl either," she continued, trying to distract him with her words. He watched as her hand began to slowly elevate, her wrist rotated, and BAM she threw it. At that same moment Carter threw his at her and dodged the one she threw at him. In an instant he saw her face covered in snow and the wet remnants dripping down from her reddened probably frozen face.
"Shit!" Carter said, "Baby doll you okay?" He heard her scream and thought she was crying, "Fuck," he trudged through the feet of snow. She had moved when he threw it - - originally he was aiming for her shoulder but when she moved it hit her smack in the face like a bulls eye - - at least he had good aim, right? "Baby doll, oh my God - - I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to hit you in the face," he ran to her aid and held her in his arms and wiped the snow off her face with his Louis Vuitton scarf, "Come hea' lemme see you - - lemme make sure you're okay - - don't cry - - please don't cry."
Stoni burst into laugher when he was wiping the snow off her face and shook her head at him, "Papi I'm fine!" She laughed, "I'm fine!" She could barely talk for laughing so hard, "Ay dios mio, papito you should have seen your face," Stoni said, "You were about to cry weren't you? Ha ha - - it was just a snowball."
"I'mma fuck you up," he grabbed her waist and hugged her tight to him, pushing the snow flakes out of her hair, "You had me thinkin' you were hurt, shorty."
"Awww," she pressed against his chest, "I'm soooo sorry, Papi," she whispered against his lips with her body pressed against his and soon their lips touched. Stoni wrapped her arms around him tightly and felt so protected and safe underneath his tall muscular frame- - he had substance that made her feel secure. He tilted his head and kissed her just as tenderly and softly on the lips as she had kissed him and his hands wandered from her waist to her backside under the coat she wore.
She was perfect, even as young as she was and all the time they spent was beginning to have an affect on his heart - - he was feeling for her even though he knew it was beyond wrong to feel this way.
Stoni knew it was wrong too but she couldn't help but be hypnotized by the way his eyes seemed to either undress her when he looked at her or stare deeply into the windows of her very soul and touch her like NO other man ever could or would. Why couldn't he have just been single, she thought, he's perfect for me. But then there was that little - - BIG - - problem; his wife and kids.
She broke the kiss and felt him cupping her chin in his free hand and the cuff of her ass in his left hand, "You bout to get me in trouble," he whispered against her lips. Carter bit his bottom lip and looked down at her looking up at him with her big, brown, doughy eyes - - innocent eyes; she was so damn innocent, "But I don't even give a fuck about that no more," the past months with her had been the best.
Now here it was the Christmas season and they were still kicking it and he still hadn't gotten the draws yet either. Allison had given Stoni strict instructions about that - - the last thing she wanted Stoni to be was one of Carter's play things. She had seen girls go down the route and knew that Stoni deserved more than that and knew all she was looking for was love and a daddy - - it's what all wayward girls looked for, love and a daddy.
"I think I'm falling for you, Carter," she whispered, "And I can't stop."
"So don't," he said, "Baby doll I have a big Christmas gift for you. I want to give it to you later though."
"A gift? For me?" She squealed, "What is it!"
"I can't tell you yet," he chuckled, "But you've been doin' really well in school and all that shit - - plus," he shrugged, "You my baby doll. I've been working on this gift for a few months now - - I had to get it built."
"Really - - ooooooooh!" Stoni looked out the corner of her eyes and eventually turned her head to where she saw people skating on a bed of ice, "Papi look!" She grabbed his hand and pointed to the people falling and twirling like little figurines in a snow globe ice skating, "Look! Can we do that! I wanna do that - - Papi can we?" He looked to the people falling on the ice, busting their asses open and took a long, deep breath, "Papi por favor - - please please pleaseeeee," he looked down at her poking out her lip, "I wanna do that like them," she pointed behind her and then grabbed the lapels of his coat.
"Baby," he was so leery about it, "Skating?" He bit his bottom lip, "I don't know."
"It's gonna be soooo much fun," she pretended to glide and slide on the ice as she saw the people, "It'll be so easy too!"
"Easy for who?" He said, "You maybe. You're a dancer."
"So, what?" She shrugged, "You're good at everything," Stoni giggled, "You're gonna pick up on this easy. Trust me."
"Stoni I really don't want - -," she pulled his coat and stood up on her tippy toes, "Baby doll."
She smirked, "Mmmm...Papito," she whispered against his lips in that soft, pretty Spanish she spoke, "Si me llevas, te voy a dar más besos."
"What the hell did you just say," his head was swimming whenever she did that - - caught between the way her tongue rolled and the sweetness of her voice, "What does that mean?"
"I said," she whispered into his ear, "If you take me, I'll give you some more kisses," she giggled and kissed his earlobe, "So what do you say, can we go?"
Carter didn't have much of a choice anymore - - she was winning him over more and more; he became caught up in her rapture, "Yeah," he said, "Yeah ma," Carter whispered back, "Let's go try it."
● ● ●
She didn't know where he was taking her but she knew it had to be somewhere good. As Carter drove carefully through the snow laden streets of New York, he held one had on the wheel of the Aston Martin and another he locked with Stoni against the armrest console. She squeezed his hand whenever she got nervous about some patch of ice as he drove or when she just wanted to be affectionate.
She said that driving in the winter always made her nervous because she had seen some horror movie where the passengers all fell off some ridiculous cliff in a snow storm back when she was in foster care and her foster brother teased her about it; ever since then she was traumatized by driving in the snow.
"Where are we going?" She asked once more, hoping this time her hand squeeze would coax Carter into telling her.
Looking around her she saw all the residential buildings and neighborhoods through the streets and she recognized them. She remembered being in the group home and always passing these beautiful lofts on her way to school and wishing that she had a mommy and daddy who would stand on the doorstep of their beautiful Harlem brownstone - - daddy was late for his patient - - she had made up in her mind that he was a doctor - - and mommy was a homemaker and had just finished making her lunch that she held in her lunchbox. That was the kind of life the people in these neighborhoods lived and the majority of them were white, not boricua and black like she was.
Her fictional mommy and daddy would say: good-bye, Stoni, have a good day at school, te queremos - - we love you. Stoni used to close her eyes sometimes and create a whole world around this fictional life that she hoped would come true but when she opened her eyes she was still the same orphan she had been before and it wasn't at all fair.
She rested her head against the window and became a little sad just thinking about it and sighed. A few minutes later Carter had pulled up beside one of the beautiful brownstones with a wonderful landscape even in the snow and shut off the car, "Babydoll," he peeked his head forward and looked at her, "You sleep already?" He reached over and touched her chin, "We're here."
"Where's here?" She looked around and watched as he got out, "Carter where's this?" She knew where but she didn't know what it meant or why they were there. When she got out the car she could see a frozen river off in the horizon that probably looked beautiful when the ice broke in the summer and spring - - ah, she could just imagine how much one of these homes went purely based off the prime location and the homes pristine conditions.
To live in one of these places would have probably cost even more than her tuition at Julliard and THAT was A LOT. "Carter?" she said as she heard him behind her, "Why are we here? This one of your apartments in the city?"
"Kind of," he said and pulled her away from the curb, "Come on - - I've had enough of the cold for one day," he laughed and jogged up the steps to the home with keys in his hands. He unlocked the door with a set of keys and then held it for her to walk through.
"This place is beautiful," she said as she looked around as she entered and immediately took off her shoes so as not to wet the shampooed carpet, "Carter it's amazing," she was so taken by it that she stared at the chandeliers and marble wide eyed; all the materials used to construct the place were obviously the finest grade that man could possibly buy.
"I'm freezing," he walked up another set of stairs into the living room where a fireplace was lit with fire and illuminated the room in a dim orange. Outside the sun was going down and they could still hear the carolers on the street that they had passed when they came, singing about the birth of Jesus and other Christmas carols. "Aye you want some hot chocolate?"
"Yes please," she said as she took off her coat and sat it down. Stoni walked near the white piano near the windows and touched it with her index finger, "Can you play the piano, Papi?" She asked as he was in the kitchen making hot chocolate, "This is a big piano," Stoni laughed and then touched the keys one by one.
"Not a note," Stoni said as he laughed, "I just thought that shit was fly," he shrugged and made the cocoa, "That shit's fly right?"
"It is," she said as she looked around at the beautiful all white room, "It matches the room perfectly," Stoni giggled and watched his tall figure stalking out with two mugs in his hands, "Oh that smells good," she shivered and anticipated the warmth of the hot drink going down her throat.
"Tastes better," he handed it to her with whipped cream on the top and smiled and took a sip while she walked to the floor to ceiling windows, "So," he said, "You like the place? The contractor I work with - - you know for my other real estate," she nodded, "He just finished this place for me like last week and I had the interior designer come in and do a little something," he chuckled as she watched the night time enveloping the city.
He titled his head and watched her as she looked out the windows sullen and walked over. Carter sat his mug down and wrapped his arms around her, "Your hot chocolate wasn't too hot was it, baby doll?"
"No," she shook her head, "No it wasn't."
"What's the matter," he turned her around to him and looked down at her face, "All of a sudden you seem sad. Did I say somethin'?" He was always cautious around her - - always protective of her - - he had to be, "Tell me what's wrong, huh," he grabbed her chin and held it in his hands, "And how to fix it."
"I don't know," she whispered, "I was just thinking about old times," she sighed, "It made me sad thinking back."
He wasn't sure how to approach it so he just did what he thought might make her feel better and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. Carter kissed her hair and sighed as he looked out the window behind her just wanting to make her feel better about whatever was going through her head. He looked down at her and thought for a moment before kissing her lips again, very soft and sweet. Carter thought of Stoni as a flower or glass - - he didn't want to break the petals when he touched her or shatter it because she was so very delicate; he treated her different than the other girls.
Not many females were put in the special category and he was becoming to see that there was his mother, his wife, and now Stoni - -there wasn't room for anymore.
She closed her eyes when she felt him squeezing her tight and realized she had never felt the way she was feeling about Carter, for any other man before. She'd only been with one other man - - Carlito - - and he wasn't really a man; he was a boy. Carter however, he was real - - he was a man. Carter's lips ravished hers like he had been planning a method of proper attack on her mouth and decided on a plan. He was Casanova, he was cupid, he was everything good and all she wanted was to make this moment last forever.
She meant what she said when she said she wanted to be with him forever; she didn't want him to go away from her and even though she knew his circumstances Stoni knew Carter wasn't completely happy - - he'd told her that too. He didn't have to tell her though because the fact that Carter was dating her now - - the fact that she was his girlfriend on the side clearly told Stoni that something at home wasn't right.
He was tired of bending down to kiss her - - she was so short compared to him so he grabbed her waist and pulled her over to the white couch just as pure as she was in his mind - - innocent - - and sat there with her. Stoni watched as he extended his hand and held her cheek and then moved in closer with his lips in tow and tilted his face to hers. Their lips touched again and this time she didn't move, she let him move her in anyway that he wanted to and slowly became caught in his rapture.
The closer she got to him the more physically perfect she realized he was. Every follicle of hair, every single perfect facial feature, - - even down to the way that he smelled - - like fine cologne and spearmint breath. She had never met a man so groomed in her entire life especially when it came to his style of dress, business casual most of the time - - he was everything that everyone said he was in that regard. What they didn't say was how sweet, how gentle and how wise he was.
He was more than just a sexy body, nice clothes, and a handsome face - - Carter was an intellectual and challenged her to think about things she'd never thought were important before him. How could she say no to a love that was this beautiful and this enticing? How could she stop herself from being a part of something that she knew she'd never be able to forget? It was impossible to shy away from being around Carter yet she still remembered what Allison had told her - - to be careful.
It felt so good when he kissed her there on the couch and somewhere between the kisses he planted strategically on her neck and the way his tongue jabbed inside her mouth like he was painting on her tongue - - his canvas - - somewhere between there Carter's hands lost their modesty.
She bit her bottom lip and moaned into the air that was heating as she felt his hand slide between her clothed breasts and felt him sucking against her neck. He was sucking at just the right force, enough to make his mark there and also be pleasurable at the same time while he cupped her breast through her sweater dress and made his way slowly down between her legs.
She squeezed them tighter when she felt him down there and new he would discover her secret - - that his kisses alone had made her wet between the thighs, "Somethin' you wanna tell me," Carter chuckled a little and then prodded his finger further, entering the wetness with his long middle finger but slowly and cautiously, "You're wet as fuck down here and didn't even tell me, ma?" He whispered against her lips.
"I was embarrassed," she blushed, "I didn't think you'd find out."
"Glad I did," he whispered, "Embarrassed? About what? Trust me," he bit her bottom lip and moved his hand in a circular motion between her legs, "There's no need for you to be embarrassed about shit," he kissed down her neck, "You got me wantin' you more than eva' now - - don't think this is what I'm all about - - it's not," she grabbed the cushion of the white couch tighter and moaned, "I'm feelin you ma," he continued.
"Ay, papi - -," she groaned as he kissed her neck, "I - - we- -," Allison was sinking into her head again. But I want it so bad, she thought, I want him, "We can't." She was beginning to get her wits about her again and didn't want to be one of those girls to Carter like Ally warned her not to be. "Please, don't do this to me," Stoni pleaded.
"Don't do what?" He whispered back as she stress her moans in the air and her wetness swallowed his finger, "You don't want to?"
"I do," she moaned into his ear and wrapped her arms around him, "But I can't."
"What?" He chuckled, "You a virgin or somethin' ma?"
"No," she said, "It's just," she opened her eyes and placed her hands on either side of his face, "We gotta wait. It's not time yet. I like you - - so much - -," Stoni said, "But we have to wait - - I'm not - - we're not ready for this."
"Who's not?" He laughed again, "Look down," Carter said still laughing, "I'm more than ready," she laughed as she placed her hand on his lap and felt that he was just as aroused as she was.
"Okay maybe in that way you are," she said laughing, "But us - - we - - we are not ready."
"We," he grinned, "I like we."
"Me too," she slowly sat up and fixed her dress, "And I wanna hold on to we - - US - - for as long as possible without complicating it with sex. Papi I don't wanna be that girl you see once a month just to fuck," he nodded as she talked, "I don't wanna be some toy to you for fun. I really - - I'm starting to have feelings for you - - real ones."
"Aight I feel you," said Carter, "You wanna take it slow with the sex thing," she nodded and he kissed her forehead and promised he would, "Okay, baby doll we'll take it slow. I don't wanna pressure you to do nothin' you don't wanna do. I respect you, know that, ma."
"I know," she said, "Thank you."
He slid his hand from under her dress and his middle finger came out glistening from her excitement, "In the meantime though," he sucked his middle finger clean before he finished, "That was just my little sample," Carter laughed and slowly got up from the couch, "Come upstairs, I wanna show you this room I got."
"That sounds suspect."
"Not like that," Carter said laughing and jogging up the steps, "Forreal come on," within seconds she met him up the stairs and found him in a large studio room with glass mirrors on all of the walls and a ballet rail on both sides. It was even nicer than the one's she practiced on at Julliard, "Fly right?"
"This is amazing," she looked up at him, "Are you renting this place to a dancer or something?"
"Sort of," he reached in his pocket laughing, "But I'm not really renting it out forreal forreal," he snuck up behind her, "This is a really nice place right - - the whole house."
"Hell - - I mean heck yes!"
"Glad you like it," he smiled, "Merry Early Christmas," her eyes instantly lit up when he said that and she became overwhelmed with emotion, "This place - - I got it made especially for you, babe."
"You what!?"
"Well, yeah," he kissed the side of her neck, "It's yours."
"Carter I cannot afford this - -,"
He stopped her lips with a kiss, "You don't gotta afford anything," he whispered, "You just gotta live in it," she was tearing up now.
"Papi my gift for you is nothing like this," she began to cry, "This - - this is - -," he said he wanted to move her out of the projects in Harlem; he meant that too, "This is extravagant - - I can't."
"You can and you will," he kissed her again, "And I don't want a gift, Stoni," Carter said, "You know that by now. I don't expect anything in return. I do these things for you cause I want to," he wiped her teary eyes, "Because you're my girl - - and it's nothin' to me to wanna hold my shorty down."
"I'm your girl?"
"Yeah," he said truthfully, despite his situation, " I know it's like mad crazy considering - - but if you just rock wit'me on this, Stoni - - I promise you I won't make you regret it," Carter kissed her lips again and she wanted to melt right there, "I promise not to hurt you, ma."
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