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Even a good player will someday become a toy of a better player. It's called karma.
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Something buzzed against my body, shaking me out of the trance I'd been in. "I'm up," I said as my eyes flew open, my voice raspy. I was confused for a second before I realized that I'd dozed off in Ryan's bed. I noticed that a comforter was draped over my body as I looked to my right and saw Ryan lying on his side as well, facing me with a smile. I groaned, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," I apologized, running a hand over my face to rid the sleepiness.
"No need to apologize, Bee," he replied with a soft, warm smile. "You weren't gone that long anyways." He reached out and caressed my arm reassuringly. I was so sleepy I didn't question the gesture.
I sighed, still tired as fuck. My phone was what woke me, but I didn't bother to pick it up and read through the text I'd received. I couldn't hold the yawn in that escaped my lips. Suddenly feeling cold, I pulled the comforter over my shoulder and tucked it underneath my chin. I gave him a sleepy smile as I watched his lips curve upwards. He seemed closer than before I'd fallen asleep or maybe I scooted closer while I was asleep.
His eyes raced over my features, seeming as though he wanted to memorize everything as detailed and fast as possible. His gaze settled on mine after some time and, prying his mouth open to speak, he said quietly, "You are so beautiful." I swallowed, my eyes automatically leaving his face. A warm feeling I didn't understand flooded my senses and settled heavily and deeply into my heart. Was he being serious? Or was he making fun of me? Through the voice in the back of my mind somewhat told me that he was genuine. He thought I was beautiful?
"Bee?" My name on his lips was enough to snap my gaze back to his. "You are." I could only find honest sincerity in his green orbs. The feeling in my chest was making it hard not to cry at his words.
It was as though he could feel my insecurities and therefore had to reassure me that in his eyes I was good-looking. And somehow, hearing the words leave his lips helped. I was, with little to no doubt, looking like a mess at the moment. My brown hair was tangled and I was positive the evidence of my lack of sleep was as clear as day right now, but still he called me beautiful.
I pulled my hand out from under the blanket and reached for his own resting in the space between us. My hand was surprisingly warm as it made contact with his'. "So are you."
For a moment he looked at me with a blank expression. Before the fog cleared and an emotion settled over his features and in the air around him that I couldn't quite pinpoint. Sure, not many guys these days are called beautiful or pretty. And Ryan, I assumed, had only ever been called handsome or hot by most girls. But he was. He was stunning and complex really.
he intensity of his green eyes, the strong jaw line, high cheekbones and slightly crooked nose that accentuated his face nicely. The tanned skin tone and brown hair that fit his body perfectly. His looks aside though Ryan had an unexplainable character, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He knew when to be funny and when to take things serious, at least around me he did. He knew when it was time to talk and when it was the right time for physical reassurance. But overall, he was probably the strongest person I knew and for that alone I respected him.
He gave my left hand a light, but firm squeeze, his eyes still on me.
After a while he said, "Maybe we should take a break. I doubt either of us can be productive at the moment."
"Sure." I untangled our hands and slipped mine back under the warmth of the blanket.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure."
Despite my answer neither of us moved a muscle. We only watched each other silently. Unexpectedly, he reached out and gently brushed a few strands of hair away from my face. "Or we could just, you know, hang out." My breath got lodged in my throat as his fingers skimmed over my jaw.
"Maybe," I answered quietly, my eyes fluttering closed. "Though I'll probably just fall asleep again."
"That's okay. You can sleep over if you'd like." At that my eyes flew open in alarm. Was he trying to get me to sleep with him? I swallowed and pulled away slightly. Had I been wrong and he didn't change after all? Was all of this an act to get laid?
He realized his mistake a second too late, eyes widening. I sat up, goose bumps spreading over my skin after I pulled the comforter off and cool air kissed my bare arms. "Bee-"
"I should go." Maybe I was acting paranoid, but I wasn't taking any chances. My heart thumped against my chest as I quickly slipped my shoes on.
"Bee, wait I-" He made a grab for me when I stood up and made my way towards the exit. I dodged him easily. "Bee, hey, I didn't-"
"Yeah, no, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm just gonna head out." I was out the door and descending the stairs in the blink of an eye.
"Bee!" he called after me. "Wait-"
I didn't stay to listen as I made a dash for the front door, panic pumping through my system. Did he just use me? Did he use our friendship to seduce me? Had this been his plan all along? Something in me broke a little at the thought. But if it was why go to such a length when all he'd get is me? He could have everyone else, someone way better, someone willing, so why me? We weren't in some teenage love story after all. Goody two shoes didn't want to be chased by players or bad boys all they wanted was a good guy. Someone easy, someone right. My life was complicated enough as it was I didn't need to add fuel to that fire.
"Bee." He grabbed my arm, swiveling me around to face him. We were standing outside his house, the cool night air chilling my bones. "I didn't mean it like that and I didn't think about it either when I asked. I meant it in a friendly way. Strictly platonic, okay?"
I sighed, doubts crawling into my mind. I didn't know if I could trust him. I didn't. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "Ryan, you confuse me. And I'm seriously considering if I slipped into the plot of Fifty Shades of Johnson, because hell you have fifty shades of your personality. And I don't even know how many I've seen yet and what still awaits me. You have no idea that you are fucking with my brain on a daily basis. Wipe that shit eating grin off your damn face, I didn't mean any of that in a sexual way!" I pointed at him, my cheeks blazing with anger and frustration. Why was he not taking this seriously?
If you wondered, he continued to laugh at me. "Elizabeth Beatrice Hope Graham! Have you read that book?"
I put my hands on my hips and with my head held high answered, "Maybe." I would not be ashamed of the fact that it was sitting on my bookshelf right this moment. "That's not any of your business anyway," I countered. I hadn't. Yet. Jo had bought the trilogy for me on my sixteenth birthday and I hadn't since touched it. It was on my tbr pile so stop hating.
He laughed at that, shaking his head at me in wonder. "I confuse you and you fascinate me." Come again? I stared at him, dumbfounded. What was that supposed to mean? "Seriously, Bee, everyday I'm learning new things about you. I'm so inquisitve I can't wait to hear more about you." He took a step closer to me, a smile lingering on his lips. "You want answers, I know, and you'll get them, but you'll have to wait."
I watched him, mouth slightly agape. Why? The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't dare ask. If he couldn't give me any answers yet, I highly doubted he would answer that question. I didn't want to push him, I was just not sure what to believe anymore when it came to him. Was he Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Player or something in between? I knew that characters weren't just black and white, but it was hard to get him when he was hiding behind so many facades.
Maybe I should just accept the fact that I will never understand him. Maybe that was the point. Maybe that was just his personality and I had to deal with it.
"I promise that everything will make sense soon, but until that I can only give you the truth. The truth is that I was never planning to seduce you, never. Not because you are not attractive, you are." I think my heart just skipped a beat. "But because I'm over it."
I looked at him in puzzlement. "What?"
"I'm over the one night stands and honestly, I was never that much into it. It was what it was, but gossip exaggerated quite a lot. Most things are made up. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't sleep around." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I... I did, but rumours had a lot to do with my reputation. I'm not saying that girls didn't throw themselves at me, they did, for some reason. I guess, because they have this cliché teeny fantasy planted into their brains about how they can change the player and all that shit? Yeah, they should really get rid off those cheesy, cliché teenage dramas."
"Wait a second," I told him, sorting my thoughts. "Why did you approach me then? Why make this weird agreement with me?"
He sighed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, to get to know you of course."
"Why?"
"Umm...that's a story for another time."
I raised my brows at him. He looked so boyish, ugh..., another shade. Damn it.
However, knowing that I won't get further information on the topic yet, I didn't question him again.
"Come on, I'll drive you home." He jerked his head in the direction of his car.
"Sure, I'll just have to grab my stuff and say goodbye to your aunt and uncle."
He chuckled. "What was your plan anyways after bailing?"
"I didn't have one." I gave him a don't-laugh-at-me-it's-obvious look. "I was on the run?!"
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Hey guys
I know this is really short, but I thought it best to end it here. Also, school is taking its toll on me so I wasn't really feeling it. I hope you still like the chappy.
Please vote/comment?
Hugs and kisses
Kathy