[27] NEW LIFE WITH A NEW LOVE
GAIL'S POV
I never expected him to come. Fvcking sh*t. All the emotions I've been hiding through me burst out awhile ago. Whenever I see his face, memories kept flashing in my mind... How he hit me for a stupid reason, how he left me during my labor and how Kyra died in my arms...
"Fvck!"
"Gail!"
I know that Kaye Anne's running after me that's why I rushed into the elevator but sh*t happened, she stopped the lift from closing and went inside.
"Gail, sorry."
I rolled my eyes and made a face. "Meeting you is fine with me until that ba-stard came. Really, Kaye Anne? How could you be so insensitive?"
"Akala ko kasi..." She sighed and held my arm. "Sorry, 'di ko na uulitin. Umaasa lang naman ako na magkakaayos kayo ni Kurt eh."
Bumukas ang elevator at dumiretso na ako palabas, shoving her hand off my arm. Sinundan niya pa rin ako hanggang sa suite ko.
"Don't expect us to get back together. Kasi ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko nang wala ng pag-asa!"
I slumped on the couch and so did she. She was looking guiltily on me.
"Wala na ba talaga?"
I abruptly shook my head. "I don't have feelings for him at all. Kung meron man akong nararamdaman para sa kanya, yun ay pagkasuklam."
"Gail, galit ka lang kaya mo nasasabi yan."
"No," I untied my hair and brushed it with my fingers. "Angry or not, I still f^cking despise him. I want him out of my life."
***
You've changed a lot. Yan ang sinabi sa akin ni Kaye Anne kahapon. She told me that I changed both positively and negatively. Positive? Kasi I became tougher daw. Negatively? Should I say it still? Well, it's because I curse now.
"Gail, buti pumayag ka na magshopping kasama ako."
I smiled and mouthed her, "Of course."
Kagabi, dun natulog si Kaye Anne sa suite ko. That's a good thing for me because we got a chance to talk seriously with each other. We talked about a lot of things and that included how Austin and her broke up and of course, how she ended up with Nathan. I'm happy for her. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, she's one hell of a lucky girl having Nathan in her life. But in the back of my mind, I wished that I should have chosen him from the start... Hindi ko na sana naranasan ang masaktan ng ganito.
Well, that's life and I must f-cking face what it may bring to me.
"Nagugutom na ako. Kain muna tayo, Gail?"
"Sure," I answered as we wandered in the mall.
We decided to go out today for a bonding time. Syempre, pumayag na rin ako dahil it's about time to make it up to her. We were in the middle of looking for a restaurant when my eyes caught one couple heading to our direction...
"Sina Chloe ba yun?"
Huminto kami sa paglalakad at tumingin din dun si Kaye Anne. "Hala, oo nga no'? Akala ko ba hindi pa sila nakakauwi galing sa honeymoon nila? Tara, Gail!"
Kaye Anne pulled me by the arm towards them. Habang papalapit kami, bigla akong nakaramdam ng guilt. Ilang beses ko silang iniwasan noong gusto nila akong dalawin sa Seoul.
"Chloe! Dustin!"
And there it goes... Tumingin sila sa amin. We stopped infront of them. As our eyes met, I saw her raising one eyebrow. The typical gesture of her.
"Chloe..." I called out weakly.
She smiled sarcastically. "Wow. Nakauwi ka na pala?"
Tumingin ako kay Dustin. Tinanguan niya ako. I gave him a slight smile.
"Yeah, I came back 2--"
"Kaye Anne!"
Nagulat ako nang iwasan niya ako at inakbayan si Kaye Anne. Medyo napaatras pa ako kasi sinadya niyang banggain ako. Who would have not get mad at me, of course!? I've been acting such a b*tch to them for the past months.
"Kaye Anne, namiss kita."
A sigh escaped my lips. "Chloe, gusto kitang makausap. May ipapaliwanag ako pero hindi dito."
Lumingon siya sa akin. Nakataas pa rin ang isang kilay. "Wala akong oras--"
"Chloe naman! Magpapaliwanag nga siya eh!" Singit ni Kaye Anne.
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Oo na! Oo na! Bawal mag-inarte kagaya niya?"
Sunod-sunod na sermon ang natanggap ko kay Chloe pagkatapos kong magpaliwanag sa kanya. What I told her was as same as I told Kaye Anne. Si Dustin, nagpaalam muna na pupunta sa isang Sport's shop. We need a time to have a girl talk nga naman daw.
"Mali pa rin ang ginawa mo. Kaibigan mo ako. Pinsan mo siya. Nakalimutan mo bang best of friends tayo?"
"Fine, I'm wrong. Gusto ko lang namang tumayo sa sarili kong paa. I don't want to rely on you again... Lagi nalang ako--"
"Blah! Blah! Blah! Tama na," putol niya sa akin. Napailing nalang tuloy si Kaye Anne. "Lumayo ka na nga tapos iiwasan mo pa kami? Sabihin mo nga Gail, tama ba yun?"
I sipped on my fruit shake and turned my head down. I have nothing to defend myself. They're all right.
"Tapos, hindi mo pa nasabi na magiging Top endorser ka? At eto pa ah! Nagpose ka ng bareback mo sa highway. Por Dios!" Chloe hysterically added.
Natawa naman si Kaye Anne. "But what's coolest among your ads is... yung kasama mo ang Big Bang! Kyaaah!"
At ayun, mukhang nagiba na ang pader sa pagitan naming tatlo. I could now breathe properly... At least, hindi na sila galit sa akin. That fast. Thanks heavens!
"Geez! T.O.P yun! Anak ng! Ganda mo, sissy! Ba't 'di mo tinuloy yung halikan?!"
I giggled remembering the actual scene. "I wish I could. But that's what written on the script."
Hinampas naman ako ni Kaye Anne. "Gwapo ba si GD ha???"
"Lahat sila gwapo," tumingin naman ako kay Chloe. "As well as Taeyang..."
"Shemay! Iniwasan mo pa kasi ako non eh! Edi sana, naki-sneak in ako dun sa shooting n'yo!"
Medyo nagtagal din kami sa cafe' na pinagtatambayan namin. We talked about a lot of things. Hindi ko na nga namalayan na isang oras na rin pala kami dun sa cafe'.
"Hindi ba nakakahiya dito? Ang tagal na natin nag-i-stay dito," Kaye Anne whispered to us.
"We're eating. What's wrong with that?" I commented and turned to Chloe. "How was the honeymoon? Did it go well?"
That made her cheeks blushed. Okay, I think I hit a sensitive part.
"Ayos naman," she replied.
"Ayos ka rin, Chloe eh! Hindi ka man lang nagsabi na nandito ka na pala. Kailan ka nga pala nakabalik?" Kaye Anne asked while eating her sansrival.
"Last weekend pa. Actually, napaaga ang uwi namin kasi..."
"Kasi...?" Sabay na tanong namin ni Kaye Anne. Weird... Why does she look so bothered?
"Kasi... Buntis ako. 3 months na ngayon."
"WHAAAAT?!?"
Nalaglag ko yung hawak kong fork sa pagkabigla. My eyes automatically brushed down her belly. Kaya pala tumaba siya. Well, nothing's wrong with that. She's married.
"'Di nga?" Tanong ni Kaye Anne. "Eh, 1 month pa lang kayong naghahoneymoon ni Dustin. WOAH! Don't tell me ginawa niyo yun before---"
"MANAHIMIK KA NGA! INGAY MO!"
Natawa nalang kami ni Kaye Anne dahil naghihysterical na si Chloe. She was blushing like hell and I bet she's uncomfortable about the topic.
"Seriously...?" I added.
She nodded her head weakly. "Unfortunately, oo. Buntis ako."
My brow arched upwards. "Unfortunately? Ba't unfortunately? Ayaw mong mabuntis?"
Nung makita naming nag-pout si Chloe, nagtinginan na kami ni Kaye Anne.
"Ano kasi... Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na baka matulad ako sa nangyari sa anak mo, Gail."
Thud.
That felt like a stab in my heart. I still managed to smile away and composed myself before facing her again.
"That won't ever happen to you. I trust Dustin and I know, he won't do what Kurt had done to me. Hindi ka niya iiwan. Aalagaan ka niya."
My eyes gazed down on the ice cold coffee she was drinking. Kinuha ko yun at umiling sa kanya.
"Avoid cold beverages. That's bad for your baby," paalala ko.
"Uh, bakit? Bakiw ikaw noon, naka-ice cream pa?"
I fainted a smile. I hate it everytime I remember my pregnancy. I badly miss Kyra.
"Bawal sa mga buntis ang malalamig. Lumalaki ang baby sa tiyan. 'Wag mo kong tularan. I was too stupid that time that I didn't even know what's wrong and right."
"Naks," Kaye Anne butted in. "Oy, sissy. Makinig ka! Supportive kami oh."
"Thank you..."
I got up from the chair and signaled them to move out. "Let's go?"
"Where to?"
I shrugged. "I suddenly remember the stuffs you guys had given to me a couple of months ago. Maybe now's the time to give those to you..."
From the mall, we drove straight in the condo where I used to lived. The feeling is nostalgic. Matagal-tagal na rin ang nakalipas nung huli akong pumunta sa condo na ito. I never thought of coming back in here but I guess, I have to now.
"Sigurado ka ba dito, sissy? Nandito sa condo na ito nakatira ang taong kinasusuklaman mo. Duh!"
I smiled fiercely to Chloe. Nasa elevator na kami paakyat sa floor kung saan ako nakatira noon.
"Gail, pwede namang ipautos mo nalang--"
TIIIING!
Bumukas ang elevator. Lumabas ako kasunod sila Chloe at Kaye Anne. The moment I stepped infront of my unit's door, that's exactly when Wayne came out from his unit.
"Princess??"
Without looking back, I unlocked my unit and stormed in, with Chloe and Kaye Anne after me, ignoring Wayne. I went upstairs and dazed in directly inside my walk-in closet.
Iniwasan kong tumingin sa kama ko. Lahat ng bagay dito sa unit ko, nagpapaala ng nakaraan ko.
"Gail..."
I breathed in and turned to face them. "Lahat ng 'to, ibibigay ko na sa baby mo, Chloe. Whether it's a boy or a girl, may magagamit ka pa rin naman dito."
Their eyes showed sorrow. Napangiti tuloy ako at napatawa.
"Okay lang, ano ba kayo! Sayang naman ang mga niregalo niyo sa akin nung baby shower kung 'di na mapapakinabangan. Wala na rin naman akong baby eh."
Binuksan ko yung isang cabinet at nakita ko kaagad yung malaking box na naglalaman ng baby crib. I remember who gave this to me. Si Wayne.
"My baby's supposed to be an infant now. Crying and giggling and sleeping inside this crib," I touched the box repeatedly. Until now, I can still feel my grief for Kyra. "Too bad... Ilang araw ko lang siyang nahagkan."
"Gail..."
"It's okay," I roamed my sight in the room. Medyo marami ang baby stuff ang nandito. "I wish your baby would be a girl."
Lumapit silang dalawa sa akin. Nagulat nalang ako nang yakapin nila ako ng sabay. Matagal-tagal na rin ang nakalipas simula nang maramdaman ko ang ganitong klaseng yakap mula sa mga kaibigan. It feels comfortable.
"Magiging okay din ang lahat," sabi ni Kaye Anne.
"Makakahanap ka rin ng lalaking papahalagahan ka."
Napangiti ako sa sinabi ni Chloe. "I'd prefer Chloe's wish for me rather than yours, Kaye Anne. I'd want to have a new life with a new love."
KURT'S POV
Here I am, sitting on the couch while carressing my dogs' fur, thinking about what Crystal did to me yesterday. Based on how she looked at me, I won't deny that she's still really flaring mad at me. I don't give a fcvk eventhough she embarassed me in public. I know for sure that I deserve to be mistreated by her. I am hopeless. D-amn hopeless.
Buzz... Buzz... Buzz...
"Tss..."
With the dogs in my arms, I got up from the couch and headed to the door. Sino na naman ba 'tong istorbong 'to?
Pagkabukas ko ng pinto, nakita ko ang pagmumukha ni Wayne. My face automatically formed a frown.
"Makikikain ka na naman??" I accused.
He shook his head quickly. He seemed tensed. "Master, si ano..."
"What?"
He pointed at the unit next to mine. "Si Gail. Nakita kong pumasok. Kasama niya sina Chloe at Kaye Anne."
"Huh?"
I walked past him and was about to head to the unit, when he stopped me by my arm. Nilingon ko siya.
"Master, dinedma ako eh. Baka dedmahin ka rin?"
"Tch, dyan ka lang."
I punched in the passcode and went inside. Nasa living room pa lang ako pero naririnig ko na ang mga boses nila dito. Nakaramdam tuloy ako ng kaba. Baka katulad ng nangyari kahapon, layasan niya lang ako.
... I'd still chase her anyway, until she gets tired of pushing me away.
Umakyat ako sa taas, papunta sa kwarto niya. Ibinaba ko sina Babes at Loves nang makapasok na ako ng tuluyan sa bedroom. Their voice were coming from the walk in closet.
"...I'd want to have a new life with a new love."
That's what I only heard. I can't be wrong. Alam kong si Gail yun.
Huminto ako sa harapan ng pinto ng walk-in closet at nakita ko sila Chloe at Kaye Anne na nagyayakapan. I can't control myself not to smile at the scene. After a couple of months, I saw the three of them together again.
"Kurt?"
Kaye Anne caught me staring at them. Ngumiti ako, pero hindi man lang siya ngumiti pabalik. I saw Gail stiffened. They released from the embrace and look at me, worriedly, except for her.
"Chloe, Kaye Anne... Pwede niyo muna ba kaming iwanan? We'll just talk for awhile."
Nagkatinginan silang dalawa saglit. As what I've seen on their faces, they must be hesitant.
"Kurt, ayaw kasi--"
I cut Chloe's words off. "5 minutes. Mag-uusap lang kami."
I felt relieved as I saw them nod.
"Gail, sa baba lang kami ha? Hihintayin ka namin," paalam ni Kaye Anne bago nila kami iwan.
SILENCE...
She wasn't looking at me nor talking to me. Her back is on me. Nakayuko lang siya habang nilalagay sa isang bag ang ilang baby stuff.
I pulled my guts together as I walked closer to her.
"Crystal..."
"I never planned on getting back to you, Kurt. Nandito ako para ibigay ang mga ito kay Chloe." She faced me and look at me in the eye, hard expression on her face. "Don't expect anything from me. Magmumukha ka lang kaawa-awa."
I held her hand but she just wriggled it and stepped out of the walk-in closet. Sinundan ko siya palabas at pinigilan siya sa braso.
"Crystal, ano bang gagawin ko para mabalik lang tayo sa dati? Nahihirapan na ako."
She looked at me again, and hastily, removed my grip on her arm.
"Wala na, Kurt. Wala ng ibabalik. Matagal na kitang inayawan."
I don't know how long she has left me in this room. Nawala ako sa sarili. I just found myself sitting on the edge of the bed alone... Curling my fist on the comforter... staring blankly at the floor.
She's just mad at me. Hindi pa niya siguro natatanggap na wala na ang anak namin. I know for sure that she'll forgive me and I'll wait for that time to come. I might find it hard, yet I won't get tired of getting her back to me. Naniniwala akong papatawarin niya pa ako.
... Hindi man ngayon, pero hihintayin ko ang araw na yun.
"Sorry, Crystal..." I murmured as I fell on the bed. Ilang saglit lang ay narinig kong tumunog ang cellphone ko. Without looking at its screen, I tapped the answer key and placed it on my ear.
"Hello...?"
["Kurt, p..pwede ba tayong mag-usap? I'll meet you at the E.H.U campus on the 6th."]
"Mariz???" I snapped at the voice.
["I missed you...?"]
Sh*t!