Taehyung's POV
On Los Angeles soil again. Back on campus. Back to my Valerie. This morning was very.. I can't explain it.
**
Earlier in morning
She lays closer to me in the bed. Her skin against mine, the remembrance of last night. I was unsure if it was a possibility that I was intoxicated. But everything I could remember made me realize I wasn't drunk at all. I had done everything voluntarily.
In fact, last night was all me. She did nothing to me, I did everything to her. The way I touched her, felt her, even... Tasted her.
I don't know what was going on in my head. But knowing that she was hurt, it made me realize that she did all this sleeping around because she felt that if people knew what she went through, she'd be judged. And in a way I could relate. Obviously not the sleeping around.
After the band break up, I felt that if people knew about my past if be judged. I wanted her to feel something that wasn't done because she was forcing it.
**
And now I lay here with her against me. In her old bed when she used to live here. Our clothes on the floor, scattered. The blankets everywhere like a storm rolled on into the room during the night, ripping off our clothes. She kisses my cheek softly, like last night had brought us closer together, or maybe it did. What was this feeling I was having? Regret? Something more? Lust?
Valerie. Last night had changed how I saw a lot of things. How I probably ruined the plan. How was I going to explain myself to her? How could I kiss HER after this? How would it be between us? How can we be together after?
"What are you thinking?" She asks. I look at her. She grins slightly but you couldn't quite tell, then it goes away, the corners of her lips dropping. "Regret.." She says. I blink a couple times. I shake my head before I answer.
**
"Taehyung it was a complete pleasure to meet you. I'd hope to see you again, son." I felt my stomach drop, he just called me son. "It was a pleasure to meet you too sir. And I hope you had a great birthday." I grin. "I really did, thank you. Everyone had such great things to say about you. That you were a great guy for my baby Lauren." I nod.
"Its really an honor to hear that, sir." I smile. He pulls me into a tight hug. His hand patting my back. The embrace was strong, like he had positive feelings about me staying with Lauren. It was guilt that ran over me. He pulls away. "You two have a safe flight." He nods. I shake his hand that he stuck out. "Thank you, sir."
I turn and right away her mother is hanging on me. My hands stick out frozen on each side of me, I don't know whether to hug her or not. Her hands smack my butt, making me jump. Without time to move away, her hands squeeze tightly, my breath hitches. "Jewel. Please. Leave the boy alone. His buns don't deserve your boney fingers squeezing them." Berry says.
"Oh alrighty then." She says letting go of me. I'm finally able to breath. "I know you take good care of my daughter, I heard all that moaning last night." She smirk. My eyes widen. "Jewel! I didn't need to know that!" Berry slaps his forehead. "We should get going... If we want to get to L.A by 9." Lauren says pulling my arm, she just saved me from answering her mother. I would have looked stupid trying to work up a lie.
Shmit takes our bags and we follow him. "Hope to see you again seksowny." Jewel says. I look at Lauren with my eyes widened. "What did she just call me?". "Just keep walking." She shakes her head, her cheeks of pink. She mouthed 'oh my god', which made me figure that I didn't need to know. "What language was that anyway?" I ask. "Polish." She says simply. I nod. Shmit opens the car door for us and we get in.
"I apologize for my parents, they're pretty embarrassing. Especially my mom, she's so.. Touchy grabby." I chuckle nervously. "Ah. Ha. Yeah. I can see that." I say as we get in the back seat. "I mean.. I'm sure any girl would die to touch you like that Tae. You're a pure hottie." My face heats up. "Oh. I don't know about that." I say rubbing the back of my neck. She chuckles lightly and watched out the window.
She seemed distant. And I wondered if it was because of what she said about me being hot. I am awkward sometimes, especially when people say I'm sexy. The ride to the airport was quiet. We get out of the escort car. He hands us our bags. "Thank you so much Shmit." Lauren says giving the old man a hug. "Aha. Of course Baby Lauren. Have a safe flight." He says. They release the hug.
He sticks out a hand. "It was a pleasure." He says in his harsh accent. I nod. "Thank you." Then Lauren and I walk into the airport. "Now boarding the flight to LA" is heard out in the intercom. We quickly made our way through the security and bag check, making it to the doors on time.
Of course, we had first class. And this time, Lauren sat in her seat the whole time. It was a quiet flight also, mostly because she had fallen asleep. And in all this silence. I thought of Valerie.
**
We walk into the dorm building. The smells of morning hang over vomit, sex sweat and strong man colonge fill the halls. Yup. As expected. Its Sunday. The day after hard core partying took place. I guess people can't handle their drinks, I sure can. Then I think about Val. I finally get to see her, but there was something I had to tell her.
**
Valerie's POV
The bright light from the morning sun drapes into the room. A light shade of pink running over my face from the curtain. My eyes lightly flutter open. I stretch for a while, then get up to go to the bathroom. And being the lazy person that I am on Sundays, I go back to bed. I was on my phone for a while. Going through the various social media apps, it was really boring. There's a knock at the door.
I shoot up. The door automatically opens. "Ah.. Val. You're up." Lauren smiles. I just nod. She walks in and follows Taehyung, holding her hand. He doesn't even looked at me. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, something was wrong. I can feel it in my stomach, and it wasn't because I was hungry. I wish I could ask him. "It was so great Val." She smiles bigger. I force a smile. My eyes still on Taehyung.
He still hasn't looked at me. Did I do something? Was it because I hadn't texted him when he was gone? Was he mad at me?
"I actually have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back." Lauren says. She looks up at Taehyung and he smiles, kissing her lips. "Okay.." He whispers. "Okay." She grins before walking to the bathroom. It was as if my heart had been shot in the main artery, it was like my blood had went cold. My throat became dry. I wait until Lauren gets into the bathroom.
He still won't look at me. "Taehyung." I say. He looks uneasy. My bottom lip was quivering, and I didn't really know why. "Taehyung look at me." My arm was shaking, like I was cold. "I can't." He says in a whisper. "What? Why not?" My eyes water. "Because I can't." He looks out the window. I can see his handsome features a little better, but they were dull. Like he had no feeling. I'd stand up, but I knew my legs would shake.
"That's not an answer Taehyung. Why? Why can't you look at me?" My eardrums were pounding. I was afraid of what he'd say, what I was thinking he'd say. "Because." He says quietly. My eyes water. "Why are you being so complicated Taehyung? Can't you man up and tell me straight out?" I ask. "I was thinking about you all day yesterday, scared of what Robert had told me. And for a while I lost faith." I find the strength to stand up from my bed.
"But then I thought about how you care about me. But my mind wandered to what Lauren could be hiding, that would make you need her." My tears fall and I stand in front of him. "Unless all your feelings were a lie. And that the way I saw you with her, was true." He turns his head. "No. Look at me." I grab his face so that his eyes are staring into mine.
I see it, I could see it in his eyes. There was something different. How was it that his stare had become so cold? Nothing felt the same. And I was scared. My tears brimmed my waterline. "Taehyung.." I whimper. Even though I had a feeling what was going on in his head. The way he had kissed her. How he couldn't look at me. How he can't even answer me.
I drop my hand, but he still looks at me. I couldn't tell if he was sad, looking at me. He definitely felt something. Regret? Regret that he ever tried to be with me? "I'm sorry I can't give you your kiss Valerie." My tears fall. I throw my hand over my mouth so that I don't make a sound. I nod. That was all he needed to say to make my heart shatter. To make me understand his behavior.
"I broke my promise." He whispers. "And I know 'sorry' can't change how you feel right now." He raises his hand his thumb ready to wipe my tears, I smack it away. I shake my head. "Valerie.. We can still proceed with the plan, I'll do it.. But I don't think that I can be with you after. I had thought about it a lot on the flight over here." I can't even look at him. "No. Now you look at me." He grabs my face.
"Why? Why Taehyung? Why do you deserve that? You want to see me cry?" I ask, my voice cracking, shaking. "I just want you to hear me out." I wipe my tears. "Ah! Haha! Okay! Yeah!" I smack his hand off my face. "You don't deserve to touch me." I hiccup. "So you're just mad because I don't have feelings for you." He says coldly.
"I'm hurt Taehyung. You got over your feelings for me, so quickly. You had went out of your way during the plan to make me yours, you broke your promise. And you expect me to be okay?" He doesn't answer me. "You made me feel things Taehyung. And now I've realized that you'd rather have a girl who lies." I spit. "Like you're any different." My eyebrows knit.
"This isn't you." I say. He let's out a chuckle. "Oh please Val. Just face it. Lauren won." He says. The bathroom door opens. Lauren looks at me weird, stopping in her tracks to the sight if the scene. "Why are you crying? Are you okay?" I push pass Taehyung, my shoulder hitting his arm. "Yeah. I'm just fine. Don't worry about me." I slip on my sandals. "You guys are a really cute couple." I say as I shoot them a glare and walk out of the dorm room.
I instantly decide to go to Ivan, just to check if Sam's there. I knock on the door. Ivan opens it, his hair all messed up. He pulls on his glasses. "Hey val." His eyes widen. "Are you okay?" I nod. "Is Sam here?" I ask. He shakes his head. "She's at her dorm." He says. "Thanks." I say walking down the hall to the exit. I didn't want to be in the same building as him. I didn't care that I was in my pajamas, or if I looked like a mess. I finally make it to Sam's dorm. I knock on the door.
After a while Sam opens the door. She looks like she just woke up. "Val. What's up?" She asks rubbing her eyes. "I need someone to talk to." I say. She looks at me. Her eyebrows knit. "Val. Why are you crying?" She asks. My tears begin to flow again. "Its Taehyung." I sob. She frowns and pulls me into her arms. I cry on her shoulder. She leads me into her dorm room, closing the door and we head over to her bed.
"Let me freshen up and then you can tell me all about it." I nod. She walks into the bathroom and a couple minutes later she comes back out. "So I'm guessing Taehyung and Lauren came back from London." I nod, trying to control my breathing. "I'm also guessing it went bad." She frowns. "Y-yes. It did. And I was hoping for the best." I bite my lip. "I'm so sorry Valerie.. I thought..." She doesn't finished. "No. Its okay.." I say.
"You can stay here tonight if you want. So you don't have to see Lauren or Taehyung." I lean against her. "Thank you.." I whisper. She wraps a arm around me. "Of course."
My heart was still shattering. "So apparently this trip changed him.. He's all into Lauren now, and he doesn't want to be with me after we proceed with the plan." I say, I try to blink my tears back. "Wait. You're still processing with the plan?" She asks. I nod. "He said he'd still do it." She smacks her leg and I sit up. I look at her a bit startled. "What a fucken jerk! He thinks he can just go on a trip, come back different and just expect you to be okay?" She looks really pissed.
"Sam.. It-Its okay." I say. She shakes her head. "No. Its not. I bet he only started liking her because he's getting sex from her." I just stare at her. I think for a while. "It's not that hard to think about Val. In the end its all guys want. He couldn't get it from you. And he's going for a easy source." I blink a couple of times quickly. Could that be it? Sex? But I didn't think Taehyung was that type of guy..
"But.. Yesterday I saw Robert.. And he told be Lauren had a secret.. And that it can make Taehyung think of her differently." She raises an eyebrow. "What?" She asks. "He didn't tell me." I say. She shrugs. "I know its hard Valerie. That you really liked him. But jerks like him are suppose to have those types of girls. Not like you. The good kind." She pauses, letting her words sink in.
"Let him have sloppy hundreds. Soon he'll see that he fucked up. And he'll want you back." She pats my back. "And what will happen?" She asks. "I won't let him come back." I say. She nods. "Exactly. And I'll make sure that you don't let him come back.. Unless you want him back." She tilts her head. I shut my eyes tight and my eyebrows knit. "I don't know Sam.. I feel like this isn't the real Taehyung. Something is up." I say.
She let's out a breath. "And if this is the real Taehyung?" She asks. I slowly open my eyes. "I don't know. I really don't want it to be the real Taehyung. Because I really liked him." My eyes water again. "He promised me Samantha.. How can he just step all over me like that?" I ask. "Like the feeling between us wasn't good enough. Like I wasn't good enough." My tears start to fall again.
"Am I not good enough for him?" I ask, my voice shaking. "What's Laurens secret?" I cry. Sam's eyes water. "Val.. Please." She whispers. "Why isn't it me? Was everything a lie?" I cry in my hands. "I don't think I can take this." My face falls forward into the blanket.
My whimpers make small vibrations on my nose. I feel Sam's hand rubbing my back. "Just let it out Valerie. Its okay." She comforts me.
I've never cried this much before. Not even over Robert. What was it about Taehyung that made me hurt so much? His smile? His funny faces that can make anyone laugh, or make someone's day? His kind hearted personality.. But maybe that one no longer existed. His deep voice, soothing and heart warming? The way that just one touch from him and I became weak? How his lips were full of so much desire as he'd kiss me.
Those days he couldn't look away from me. The goose bumps I'd get when he'd look into my eyes. How the day before they went on the trip we laid in his bed together.. How he held me.
I couldn't help but to continue to ask myself, why? Why? Why was it so easy for him? Why did I let someone in again? Why didn't I protect my heart and push him away before the pain began? How? How can he just turn his back on me and pick Lauren? When? When would I be okay?
I slowly lay on my side, it felt as if I was suffocating. "You'll be okay Val." Samantha whispers as she covers me with her blanket. I hoped that she was right..
Darkness took over me as I slowly fell asleep, crying so much too the energy out of me.
-----------------------------
Hey! Yo! Update!
.. Don't hate me.
I bet you hate me 😂😂
I gotta do what I gotta do.
I'm not saying anymore. 😂
Bye