The next few days were much calmer, much quieter than they had been.
Reed and I were back to normal. When we got time alone, we made the most of it. We reveled in one another's company. It was sobering, almost.
We worked like mad people. Reed barely had cases in my court, and I had a lot of cases. We were workaholics, but at least we knew we were. I always had been. He always had been. We were perfect for each other.
Work kept me busy, even when I didn't want it to. I would think about cases all the time. 24/7. I saw anywhere from 2 to 6 cases a day, which was a lot--especially when they were mostly murders, rapes, and assaults.
The world was an even worse place than I thought. People were monsters. It didn't take much for many of the defendants to snap. It was all a bit unsettling.
One Friday night, I went to bed early. It was December 23rd. The next night, we had Reed's parents' gala, and I wanted to be well rested.
Reed was working late at the office, so I went robbed alone. I was home alone. The thought was unnerving.
A man walked into my bedroom. He was tall and thin. He wore a black mask, black clothing. He looked intimidating. He casually walked over to the bed.
"Where's your fiancé?" he huskily asked.
"He's-He's at work," I stuttered.
"So there will be no one to hear you scream except for me? What a pity."
The man continued to tie me up. He beat me, hitting and biting me until my a great deal of my skin was black and blue. He continued his torture by breaking one of my legs.
When I cried out in pain, he laughed.
I was groaning in agony. I was sweating. I tried to get free. But where would I go? How would I get free? How would I leave on a broken leg? I couldn't run.
The door opened and closed.
Mr. Pauley stood in my doorway. He walked over. He was also wearing black clothes. He sat on the bed beside me. "Finally, you're going to get what you deserve."
He lifted an ax-like object, aiming for my throat.
I let out a blood-curdling scream.
"Georgia?! Georgia?!" Reed called.
Reed.
Suddenly, I woke, sitting up. I was gasping for air. I gripped my throat. Oh, my God. It was just a nightmare.
When I somewhat got my bearings, I looked up.
Reed sat beside me. He looked worried. His eyes watched me carefully.
I took a deep, shaking breath as tears came to my eyes. Oh, God.
Reed pulled me in his arms.
I cried for a few minutes, sniffling. Tears ran down my shirt and onto Reed's warm shoulder. He was so comforting.
When I calmed down, I pulled back.
He wiped the tears from my cheeks, taking my face in his hands. "What happened?"
So I told him about my nightmare, how real it was.
"Honey, it's okay. It was just a nightmare," he whispered, taking my hands.
I nodded.
He kissed my nose and gave me a sweet, soft kiss.
I pulled back and rested my forehead against his. I sighed.
"Are you okay?"
"I am now," I whispered.
He smiled. His smile faded. "What brought this on? Do you know?"
I sighed. "Work is just a lot right now, you know? It's taking a lot of time and energy and my brain is just overwhelmed with the worst things imaginable."
"Oh, honey."
"And you-you weren't home. That's how my first case today was. The husband wasn't home and his-his wife was murdered by her boss."
"Jeez."
I nodded.
"But we're not married."
"Might as well be. Anyway, it doesn't matter. You weren't here."
He wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry. I hate working late nights. I'd much rather be up here in bed with you."
"I'd much rather that too."
He gave me a soft kiss. "Think you can go back to sleep?"
"What time is it?"
"Just past one."
"Are you just coming to bed?"
He nodded.
"Reed-"
"I don't have court tomorrow. We're off for the next couple of days. We can relax, okay? You need to relax more than anything right now."
I nodded.
He laid down. "Come here."
I laid down, resting my head on his shoulder.
He kissed my head. "Close your eyes."
I did as he said.
Softly, he began singing "What a Wonderful World" to me.
With a soft smile playing on my lips, I drifted back to sleep.
***
The next evening, Reed dressed in a black tuxedo with all the pieces. He had red accents--a red tie and a red vest.
For the occasion, Reed had our stylist get me a floor length red gown. It was a red satin trumpet gown. It hugged my figure perfectly. I slipped on gold heels. Gold sparkle Christian Louboutin shoes. The shoes cost more than all of the shoes I previously owned combined.
Around 5:45, stylists came in to curl my hair and pin it back and style it. The other person did my makeup. By the time they were done with me, I looked flawless. I looked like I belonged in the Robinson family. The thought made me smile.
I slipped on my gold wrap and went downstairs.
Reed was standing in the foyer.
"Ready?" I questioned.
He looked up. His breath caught. His eyes widened.
"Reed?"
"You're stunning."
"Thank you. You don't look too shabby yourself."
He smiled, "You're missing something."
"What's that?" I asked, trying not to appear wounded.
He grabbed something from a side table. A black velvet box. He handed it to me.
I opened it to reveal a diamond necklace that had two rows of diamonds, then had diamonds hanging from those. It was gorgeous. It had dangling diamond earrings to match.
I gasped.
"Do you like it?" he whispered.
"Oh, Reed." I looked up at him.
He smiled. He lifted the necklace from the velvet setting and spoke, "Lift your hair."
I did as he said.
He latched the necklace into place around my neck, then he took the earrings one by one and fastened them in my ears. He stepped back and smiled. "I'm the luckiest man alive."
I blushed.
He offered me his hand.
I took it.
He intertwined our arms.
We left.
He drove us to his parents' party in his sports car.
We drove through Manhattan for a bit.
"Where is this party?"
"The Prince George Ballroom. My parents rent it every year. They hire a band and there's this huge dance. It's usually such a bore."
"Why?"
"I normally go alone."
"You never brought Tiffany?"
"Sometimes, but she-she was kind of boring."
I smiled.
As we pulled up to the exquisite building, Reed stopped the car.
A man opened my door and helped me out.
Reed met me and took my arm in his again.
We went inside.
The building was incredible. It looked like it had belonged to royalty.
People were everywhere dressed to the nines. It was like prom on steroids and much more dignified.
A waiter came up to us. "Cranberry champagne?"
Reed took a glass and handed it to me, then took one himself.
"Thank you."
"You're most welcome."
Reed took a drink. "You never want to be at these events completely sober."
"Reed."
"Just saying."
We stepped further into the building.
"Would you like to see the main area, the ballroom?"
I nodded.
He led me into a beautiful ballroom.
The ceilings looked like Michelangelo painted it himself. It was dawned with golds and reds--beautiful patterns of vivid colors. It looked like it belonged in the Sistine Chapel or Versailles. I couldn't believe this marvel of a building was hidden in Manhattan, hidden in plain sight the whole time.
The lights were dimly lit. Tables dawning white and red clothes were around the room, fully set with the most gorgeous red and green floral centerpieces. It was like a beautiful wedding.
The orchestra was already playing. "The Christmas Song" was softly played.
"Georgia, say something."
I turned to him. "This is incredible."
"You think so?"
"It's beautiful."
He tightened his grip on me.
"Reed!" a woman squealed.
We turned.
Marie came over to us. She hugged Reed. She was in an emerald green gown that hugged her figure. It fell graciously to the floor. Her hair was pinned up. She was stunning. She looked like a model.
"Hi, Marie," Reed smiled, pulling away from his sister.
Renee and Jack came over. They were both in black.
She looked miserable. "I can't believe I can't drink. This sucks."
"It doesn't really seem so bad," I spoke.
They all looked at me. Their eyes widened. They looked me over.
"Oh, my God," Marie spoke. She looked at Reed. "You landed yourself one beautiful woman, Reed. I didn't even recognize her."
Reed smiled. He glanced at me, then at his sister. "I know I did."
"Reed!" his mother called, pulling his father over to us.
Their eyes widened when they saw me.
It was unsettling. Why were they all looking at me like that? Did I have something on me? Was my makeup better suited for a clown? What?
"Georgia, you look wonderful," Mrs. Robinson smiled. She looked at her husband. "Doesn't she look wonderful?"
"She looks like a Robinson. She and Reed look well together, don't you think?" he spoke.
"Mighty high compliment," Jack mouthed.
"I was just showing Georgia around. She's never been here before," Reed explained.
"Well, she's already got alcohol, so she's one step ahead," Senator Robinson spoke.
"Oh, Louis!" Mrs. Robinson reprimanded.
"Right. Smile and thank people for coming. I know the drill," he mumbled.
"Our table is towards the front, per usual," she smiled. "Have fun!" She hurried the Senator off.
"Your father looks pissed," I noted.
"He hates these too. He only does it to make Mom happy. She sees it as if he has to be gone all the time and be a public figure, the least they could do is have a holiday party with all of their friends and associates," Reed explained.
I nodded and took a sip of my champagne.
"Mr. & Mrs. Edwards are here, just so you know," Marie spoke.
"Wonderful," Reed huffed.
"Who?"
"Tiffany's parents," Reed explained.
I nodded. "How do they know your family?"
"Her father is a prosecutor."
"Really? I don't think I've ever seen one of his cases."
"He does a lot of family court cases," Reed explained.
I nodded.
Jack held Renee's hand and spoke, "This is my second one of these events and they don't get better."
The music changed. The orchestra began playing "The First Noel."
"Does anyone ever actually dance?" I asked.
They started laughing.
I took that as a no.
"Oh, the orchestra is for show. We eat. People mingle. People get drunk. People leave," Marie explained.
I nodded.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please find your seats. Dinner will begin in fifteen minutes," an announcer spoke.
"We just got here. Were we late?" I asked Reed.
"Always. The party began at 7."
It was nearly 7:45!
I looked at him.
"We all were late. It's the goal," Marie spoke.
"And we leave early, if possible," Jack spoke.
"How late does this go?"
"Sometimes until midnight or later. People like to get drunk and talk," Renee spoke.
I nodded.
"Let's go to our table!" Marie smiled.
We all went to a table.
Marie sat beside Reed. Renee sat beside Marie and Jack sat beside her. I sat on Reed's other side.
A few minutes later, his father helped his mother sit beside Jack. The Senator sat beside me.
"Are you kids having fun?" Mrs. Robinson smiled.
"Yes," they all mumbled.
I put a hand on Reed's knee.
He looked at me.
"Be nice," I mouthed.
He sighed.
I looked back to the table. I took a drink of my champagne.
Reed sighed, again.
A man came over to the table. "Senator, how are you?"
The man was young, maybe in his mid-twenties. He was tall with black hair and bright blue eyes. He reminded me of Reed, in a sense.
"I'm doing well. How are you, Michael?"
"Doing well. I see the family is still here."
"And wishing they weren't," the Senator chuckled.
The man, Michael, smiled. His eyes landed on me. "And you have a new face here this year."
"Yes, this is Judge Georgia Monroe. She's a criminal justice judge here in Manhattan."
Michael put a hand out to me.
I shook his hand.
"Georgia, this is Michael Wilson. He's the son of Congressman Wilson," the Senator introduced.
"It's a pleasure," I smiled.
"It's an Honor, Your Honor," he beamed, clearly proud of his little pun.
I took my hand back.
"This is your first Robinson party?" Michael asked.
"Uh, yes."
"I've been coming to these for years."
"Is that so?"
"I'd be happy to show you around, you know, as an outsider."
"That's very kind of you, but-"
Waiters came into the room and began serving people.
"You better head back to your table," I smiled.
"Yes, we'll talk more later." He walked off.
"God, I hope not," I mumbled.
Reed was in an even worse mood.
I put my hand back on his knee and rubbed softly.
He glanced at me.
I winked at him.
He took a drink of his champagne.
A waiter brought us food.
"Waiter, could you get us a bit something stronger to drink?" the Senator asked.
"Yes, sir. A dry martini?"
"Yes, please."
The waiter took all of our orders and walked off.
Dinner had five courses. It was dreadfully long, and the conversation was pretty dull.
Luckily, Reed's sisters kept the conversation going. They talked and talked and talked. By the end of the fourth course, my head was spinning.
His sister Marie had been to Paris and London. She left right after Thanksgiving and had been modelling overseas for the past few weeks. She was hosting events and really living life to the fullest. She met men and slept with them--at least a dozen men. She went on and on about French men.
Renee was talking about what it was like to be pregnant, what she was discovering. She was talking about the nursery and what they wanted to look for in a nanny. She went on and on about how she wanted her child to be raised right. . .
And throughout all of this, men kept coming over. They would spend two seconds talking to the Senator and Mrs. Robinson, then they'd shift their attention to me. It was the same, boring conversation. I had no interest in any of them; I had Reed. Then, after they left the table, I had to discreetly calm Reed down, who was irritated by all of the men. I was irritated, too, so I couldn't blame him.
When dinner finally finished, nearly everyone in the room stood. They went around the room, mingling. It was very interesting. It was like a social protocol that everyone knew they had to do, regardless of if they wanted to or not.
I was bored out of my mind. I could see why Reed hated the party. It was dreadfully boring. There was nothing to do except for eating and talking. And I was tired of being hit on. I felt so self-conscious.
Reed stood.
I looked up at him.
He held a hand out to me. "Care to dance?"
"You said people don't dance at these events."
"Well, it's time to change that," he softly smiled.
I stood and took his hand.
He led me out to the dance floor. He turned me to him gracefully and pulled me into him.
The orchestra was playing "O Holy Night," which was an absolutely beautiful accompaniment to dance to.
Reed danced me around the room like he had at his sister's wedding. It was effortless and fun. Reed and I were having fun. We actually had fun, even I was surprised.
I pulled back a bit to look at him, aware that people were staring at us. "Reed-"
He smiled, "People are staring, because you're gorgeous."
I blushed. I looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes. I smiled at him.
"O Come, O Come Emmanuel" was being played.
I smiled at Reed. "How did you learn to dance so well?"
"I don't know." He twirled me out and brought me in, even closer than I was before.
I smiled. "Even more people are staring."
"I don't care. This is the first time I've actually enjoyed this party," he smiled.
I smiled.
The Senator brought Mrs. Robinson out and began dancing with her. He winked at me.
Then, couple by couple came out and began dancing. It was like a ball.
"Your parents are dancing," I smiled.
Reed turned us and smiled, "Go, Dad. Who knew he still had it in him?" He looked back at me.
"I think you inspired him," I softly spoke.
He smiled at me. "Georgia-"
"You're a romantic, Mr. Robinson. You're young and you know what you're doing. Do you really think he does?"
He smiled, "Georgia, I-"
As the "Christmas Waltz" began, a man came over to us. "Mr. Robinson, there's been a request, sir."
"Request?"
"Ms. Robinson has requested the orchestra start anew and you sing this song."
"Excuse me? I don't-"
"Reed?" Marie spoke over a microphone.
We all stopped as the music ceased. We looked towards the orchestra.
"For those of you who don't know, my brother Reed can sing Sinatra incredibly well. Growing up, I remember hearing Reed sing this song in his room when he thought I was out of the house."
"Oh, God," Reed whispered.
"Anyway, now that I've embarrassed him, I think, in spirit of the season, we should all cheer him on and get him up here to sing it for us."
Everyone turned to us.
Reed looked at me.
Peter came over. He was here? What? "I'll take Georgia for this one."
Reed looked at him, then at me.
"Oh, I want to hear this," I smiled.
"Really?" he sighed.
"Please?" I smiled.
"Fine," he sighed. He released me and went to the orchestra.
Everyone applauded him.
He looked to the orchestra. "Ready?"
They got ready and began playing.
Reed sang as everyone began dancing again.
Peter was mediocre at dancing. He wasn't too terrible, but he was no Reed.
I was also focused on Reed's singing. He was incredibly good. His voice was exactly like Sinatra's. It was rich and beautiful.
When he finished the song, he smiled, "Thank you."
Everyone applauded him.
Peter released me, dropping his hand from my waist and hand.
I was about to head over to Reed as he was beginning to head over to me. But he was stopped by a blonde woman. I knew her; it was Tiffany.
Reed looked caught off guard, particularly when she hugged him. He pulled back as they got in conversation.
The orchestra began playing "Where are You Christmas?".
I turned to Peter.
He took a breath. "Do you want to dance once more?"
I began to refuse.
"One more dance. It's either me or some random guy here."
I nodded. I turned back to him.
As we started dancing again, I sighed.
When the song ended, Peter took my hand. He led me over to Reed and Tiffany.
"Oh, Peter, you brought the judge."
"No, she's here with Reed," Peter spoke. He looked at Reed. "What are you doing?"
"Talking. We haven't spoken since Renee's wedding," Tiffany spoke.
Peter looked at Reed. He didn't say anything.
"What? Can you blame him?" Tiffany smirked. "C'mon, Peter. There's no comparison. I'm me. I'm one of you guys, and she's, well, her. She's not one of us. At the end of the day, it will always come down to that."
I stood upright. "Excuse me?"
"Tiffany, Reed is engaged to Georgia," Peter spoke.
She laughed, "Oh, that's so cute!"
Reed looked at her. "Tiffany-"
"Oh, sweetie. Really? Were you that desperate? You could've just said so. I mean, if I knew you were going to stoop down to this level, I would have just said yes."
I looked her over. She wasn't that big and she certainly wasn't that much taller than I was. She was in a skin tight green dress. She looked like a goddess, but I could take her--no. I was at a party. I was at Reed's parent's party. It was Christmas Eve and we were surrounded by government officials, who were beginning to crowd around us--probably anticipating a fight.
She turned to me. "And look how cute you look. It's amazing what a shower and some makeup can do."
My jaw locked.
She stepped to me. "Seriously, why would you even think about coming to this? Surely Reed knows that we don't mingle with people who could be our help. But it's cute that you tried."
"Listen, I-"
My phone rang.
I looked at it and answered, "Yes?"
"Hey, Judge. There's a situation," Andy spoke.
"What kind of situation?" I asked.
"There's been a bit of an accident."
"Andy, you're being obtuse and I'm really not in the mood," I snapped.
"Conley is in the hospital. He was in a car accident. Anyway, he's-he's in bad shape."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that as of nine o'clock tonight, you're our only acting judge."
"Oh, no. No, no way." I took a deep breath. "Did someone call the governor? He-He has to appoint someone. I can't do it all."
"I don't know if he knows. I-"
Reed turned me around.
Governor Cuomo was there.
"Oh, Andy. Hang on." I looked at the Governor. "Can we speak privately?"
"Of course," he spoke, looking concerned.
"Andy, how serious is he?"
"They-They don't think he's going to make it through the night."
"Oh, no. Does he have anyone I should call?"
"You're his emergency contact."
"I'm what?" I gasped.
"Yeah, I was surprised too."
"What does that mean? Who do I need to call?"
"You're it."
"What do you mean I'm it? What does that mean?"
"It means he has no family. His parents died a couple years ago. He never married or had children."
"Is there a girlfriend? A partner? Anyone we can call? Do we even have a way to find his will?"
"You're a judge. I think we need a court order for it."
"Andy, it's Christmas. Who the hell is going to be working?"
"I don't know. Do you want me to make some calls?"
"Yes. Can you call Sue? I need all the information you can get me."
"Of course."
"What hospital is he at?"
"I'll text you all of that."
"How sure are we that he's not going to make it?"
He was quiet. "He's already on life support."
Tears came to my eyes. I cleared my throat. "Okay, so have Sue contact the Probate Office. I don't care who the hell we get down there or how we do it. This can't wait."
"Yes, Judge. Anything else?"
"I'm with the governor now. I'll let you know what's next."
"Why are you with the governor?"
"Reed's parents had a party and-"
"Shit. Oh, my God. I am so sorry. I forgot."
"It's fine. I will talk to you soon."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up and looked at the governor.
The room was silent, staring. They were all government officials. Of course they would care about what was going on.
"We need to talk?" he asked.
I nodded, really unsure of my voice.
"Follow me."
I followed him from the room.
We went outside, his security detail behind us.
He turned to me. "What's going on?"
I explained the situation. "Sir, I don't know what to do. I can't do multiple courts. I'm in criminal justice court. I don't know anything about family court."
He nodded. He thought a moment. "Albright retired, but does he know anything?"
"He did a few family court cases."
"Okay, do you have his number?"
I nodded.
"Call him, please."
I rang him.
He answered, "Hello?"
"Judge Albright, it's Georgia."
"Oh, Georgia. Hi, sweetie. How is everything?"
"Not so great. Conley is in the hospital."
"Oh, God. Is he okay?"
"No, he's not going to make it. I'm with Governor Cuomo. We wanted to know if you could temporarily come out of retirement and-and take over family court."
"After the holidays?"
"Yes, after the holidays."
"Yes, of course. He-He didn't have anyone."
"He put me down for his contact. Sue is going to try and get the probate office to tell us who to call, but I don't know how any of that is going to work."
"Okay. Keep me in the loop, okay?"
"Will do."
"Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up and looked at the Governor.
"If you need any help with the offices, let me know. I have quite a bit of pull."
I nodded. "Thank you."
"Let's go back inside," he spoke.
We walked inside and went to the ballroom.
People had resumed dancing.
Reed, the Senator, and Barbara came over to us.
"What's going on?" Reed asked.
"I can't say, yet," I spoke.
"Georgia-"
"I better go work on a statement. Barbara, Louis, thank you for having us." Governor Cuomo shook their hands.
His wife came over and said goodbyes.
The Governor turned to me. "Call me if anything changes. Louis can give you my number."
"Yes, sir."
He nodded.
They left.
Reed looked at me. "What do you want to do?"
"I should probably go," I sighed.
"Oh, please, don't leave yet," Barbara pleaded.
"I-"
A couple about the Senator and Mrs. Robinson's age came over to us.
"Hello. You must be Judge Monroe," the man spoke with a stern voice.
"I am."
"Henry-" Louis began.
"No, Louis. You clearly have let this go too far." He fixed his gaze back on me. "You're not welcome in this community. You are just a phase that will pass with time. Reed will get bored and leave you in the dust. You are not going to be a Robinson, and if you do become one, you won't be one for long."
"You must be Mr. Edwards," I spoke.
He stood tall. "I am."
I nodded and smiled politely at him. I stood up tall, too. "Mr. Edwards, are you related to the Robinson family?"
"No."
"Are you Reed Robinson?"
"No."
"Are you my father?"
"No."
"Are you God incarnate?"
"No."
"Then, Mr. Edwards, you don't really have any say whatsoever regarding my family or marital status."
He looked a little stunned.
"Now, if you will so excuse me, I have a much more important matter to attend to."
He stuttered to find words, struggling.
I went to the table and grabbed my wrap and clutch. I walked back to Reed and his parents. "I really do have to go. Thank you for having me. It has been quite the experience."
"Do you have to go?" Barbara asked.
"I'm afraid this is a very time sensitive issue."
She nodded. She looked to her son. "You'll call me tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"And we'll discuss plans for Christmas?"
"Yes."
I shook her hand and Mr. Robinson's.
Reed hugged his parents. Then, he slipped his hand in mine.
We went to the valet.
The man took a couple minutes to find our keys. He left to retrieve our car.
"Georgia, I want to apologize for-"
"I can handle myself."
"I know, but-"
I looked at him. "Reed-"
"No, they were rude to you."
"Reed-"
The man brought our car.
We got in and left.
I looked at the details on my phone and told Reed where to go.
"So what's going on? Is Conley okay?"
"No."
He glanced at me. "How bad is it?"
I was quiet.
"Georgia?"
I just shook my head. I wouldn't be able to tell him without crying.
"Oh, honey," he sighed.
I continued to shake my head.
When we got to the hospital, we parked and went inside.
I followed Andy's instructions. 3rd floor, room 315. I noticed Conley's bailiff, Lou, by the door.
I walked over to him. "Hey, how is he?"
Lou just shook his head. He looked at me. "You look nice, really nice. Conley would have liked to see you like this."
I put a hand to his shoulder. "Albright is going to come back for a while, so you'll probably be guarding him."
He nodded. "I've worked for Conley for ten years. That man is incredible."
"I know."
"He cared about you. He really did, would talk about you and how you were doing well and he-he was proud."
"Why aren't you his contact?"
"I'm with him a great deal of the time. Besides, you're young. He thought you would be better suited for the job."
"Do you know anything about his will? Sue is trying to see who we need to track down and-"
"You don't need to."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's you. He didn't talk to you about it?"
"What's me?"
"You have power of attorney."
"I've only known him a couple years."
"You made an impression, Your Honor. He trusted you to do what he would want, and I will be here to help you if you need it."
I nodded.
"Mr. Robinson, how are you?" Lou spoke.
"I'm okay, Lou. How long have you been here?"
"Since eight."
"That's over three hours. Can I get you anything?"
"I would love a cup of coffee, but I don't want to leave him."
"I'll get it." Reed looked at me. "Are you going to be okay for a few minutes?"
I nodded.
He kissed my head and walked back down the hall.
"We should put him out of his misery."
I nodded.
Lou turned to the nurses' station. "Ma'am, we're ready."
She stood and went over to another woman. They both came over to us.
"I'm Dr. Miller. You're Judge Monroe?"
"Yes."
She looked me over. "You don't look like a judge."
"I came from a Christmas party."
She rose a brow.
I got my I.D. and showed it to her.
She nodded. She led us into his room.
He looked so helpless and pale. His body looked almost deflated and grey. His hair was a little messy; a cut was on his forehead. He had a massive blue tube coming from his body.
I walked over to him and took his hand. "How does this work?"
"When we turn of the machine, his breathing will slow as well as his heart. Then, when there's a steady tone, his heart will have stopped beating. This could take seconds or hours."
I nodded.
Lou got me a chair.
I sat, squeezing Judge Conley's hand between mine. I took a deep breath.
"Ready?" Dr. Miller asked.
I took a breath and nodded, blinking back tears.
She hit a button, then removed the tube that were breathing for him.
I watched him carefully. I didn't know how obvious the signs would be, if at all.
A few minutes of silence passed.
Reed came in and handed Lou a large cup of coffee.
He thanked Reed quietly and took a drink.
A hand touched my shoulder. Reed.
I took a breath.
He was quiet.
After roughly half an hour of sitting in silence, watching Conley's body, a steady tone came from his machine.
Dr. Miller came in and turned it off. She checked a couple things--probably his vitals--and spoke, "Time of death 23:42."
I took a few minutes, then signed some paperwork. I took another few minutes and looked at Lou.
He softly smiled at me. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and stood.
Reed took my hand. "We should go and let the doctors do what they need to do."
I looked at Lou. "See you Tuesday?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
He left.
I took another glance at Conley. I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes. I nodded to Reed.
We left.
We got in our car and went home.
When we got to the house, Reed spoke, "Would you like a drink?"
"Please."
He went to our bar and fixed me a drink, then himself one. He walked over and handed me mine. "Your favorite."
"Thank you."
He nodded.
We stood there and drank for a couple minutes.
Reed walked over to his record collection. He lifted one and put it on the record player.
Nat King Cole's rendition of "L-O-V-E" began to fill the room.
I put my glass down on the coffee table. I went over to Reed.
"What?" he asked.
"Dance with me."
He smiled and placed his glass with mine. He took my hand and led me to the open space behind the seating area. He turned to me, pulling me in his arms.
We began dancing around the room.
Then, Reed went back to the record player. He changed the record. "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra was playing. He came back over to me. He began dancing me around, gently. We moved effortlessly through the house.
Reed softly sang, "'Lovely, never never change. Keep that breathless charm...'"
"I didn't know you could actually sing," I whispered.
"Just for me, really. I never made anything of it."
"Why not?"
He shrugged. "I'm a very serious lawyer. I can't be a singer."
"Oh so serious," I spoke, pulled back and raising my brows at him.
He smiled.
"Luck be a Lady" began playing.
"Do you want to have a little fun?"
I rose a brow. "What does that intel?"
"Trust me?"
I nodded.
He began singing the song to me, but he did it with a theatric flare. He moved around the living space, singing effortlessly. When the line came that said the best he could do was pray, he fell to his knees in front of me.
I laughed.
He slid his body up mine and began dancing me around until we got to the next major verse. He walked around me and sang. When it came time to sing about blowing on another man's dice, he made air dice for me to blow on as if we were in Vegas or something.
I'd never seen Reed so carefree. He was having fun. His mood was uplifting. It was like he was in a daze, a craze. He was flirtatious and fun--a totally different man.
When the song ended, I walked over to him and kissed him sweetly.
He smiled into the kiss, deepening it. He pulled back and smiled. He pulled back and smiled, "Oh, Georgia."
"I-"
Reed's phone rang. He sighed. "Hold that thought?"
I nodded.
He answered, "Robinson. Hey. Look, I don't have time to--what? Okay, okay. I have to take care of something." He placed a hand on my hip. "Then, I'll be there. I don't know, half an hour?"
I ran my fingers up his shirt and to his bow tie. I untied it, unbuttoning his shirt.
"Yes, I will. Okay. Bye." He hung up and tossed his phone on the couch. He gripped my hips. "Let's get you out of this little dress."
"You have to leave?"
He nodded.
"Why?" I whispered.
"I have a client coming in."
"Tonight? It's Christmas Eve, Reed."
He looked at his watch, then at me. "I guess it is."
"Is it a big client?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, then we better be quick, right?"
"No."
"No? But you said-"
"Oh, no. I'm taking my time with you."
I rose a brow.
"You're gorgeous."
I smiled.
"Every man there tonight wanted you in their bed."
"Then, don't you feel so lucky?"
"I do," he smiled. He gave me a kiss and pulled me upstairs.
I turned to him once we were in our room.
He walked to me and kissed me deeply, unzipping my dress.
When it fell, I stepped out of it.
Reed quickly undressed, throwing his suit aside with all of its parts.
Slowly, yet lovingly we became intertwined with one another. Our bodies moved effortlessly against each other. It was as if we were dancing. Like dancing, Reed was impeccable. His skills on the dance floor were just as good, if not better, in bed. He was sweet and loving.
Before Reed, I'd never felt so loved. I'd never felt so cherished. I hadn't known a love like ours existed. I hadn't known that one could be loved with such emotion and sincerity. Reed took care of me, despite no need for me to be taken care of. It was a novel experience, a love only ever found between the pages of a book or the binding of a novel.
When Reed laid beside me, he looked at the ceiling. "From the moment I saw you tonight, I wanted to make love to you."
"And how did it measure up to your expectations?" I asked, turning to him. I rested a hand on his chest.
Instead of responding, he kissed me sweetly. He pulled back and smirked, "Beyond my wildest dreams, honey."
I smiled and gave him a kiss.
There was a knock on the door.
"Yeah?" Reed asked.
"Sir, Mr. Garrison is downstairs."
"Like the office or the living room?"
"Living room. He said you were taking too long and he thought he'd come get you himself."
"Okay. I'll be down in a moment."
"Very well, sir."
Reed rolled over me.
"You have to go," I smiled, trying to push him off me.
"God, no. Peter can wait," he whispered, placing a kiss between my breasts.
"Reed, you have work to do."
"No."
"Reed-"
One of his hands ran down my stomach and between my legs.
I pressed my legs together. "Oh, no. You have to go."
"Five more minutes."
"Five minutes? I think I would deserve more than five minutes, Mr. Robinson."
He smiled against my neck. "Oh, baby. You're oh so right."
I smiled.
He gave me a soft kiss and made a trail down to my shoulder.
The door opened.
Peter stepped in.
Instead of getting mad, I smiled, "Oh, hello, Peter."
Reed froze. His body sunk into me. He rested his forehead on my shoulder, then he looked up.
I brushed his hair from his face.
Peter looked between us. "Just getting started or finishing?"
"Which time?" I smirked.
His eyes widened.
Reed smirked at me, then looked at Peter. "Let me get dressed and I'll be downstairs."
"O-Okay. Just meet me at the office."
"Will do."
Peter left the room.
I looked at Reed and smiled at him.
"That's the first time he's ever looked truly stunned."
I smiled and gave him a kiss. "Okay, up you get. You have work to do."
"Are you sure? After the love we just made, it feels wrong to just leave."
"I'm fine. I understand work is demanding."
He gave me a kiss and rolled off me. He stood and went to the closet. He came back in the room moments later. He was dressed in jeans and a black shirt.
I rose a brow. I rarely saw Reed look so relaxed.
He came over to me and kissed me softly. "Try and get some rest."
I nodded.
"I love you."
"I love you," I smiled and gave him one last kiss.
He smiled and left.
It didn't take me long to drift to sleep.
***
A man walked into my room. He was tall and muscular. He looked familiar, but at the same time, like a total stranger. He wore a black beanie and black clothes.
"Can I help you?" I asked.
"Yes, you can," he breathed. He began to undress.
I tried to get up and run, but he grabbed me and threw me down on the bed. He quickly jumped on me, tearing his pants off.
When I tried to resist him, he'd hit me and hit me. He grabbed something. The next thing I knew, a flame was burning my skin.
I screamed in agony as he moved the flame down my body.
"Judge! Judge!" a voice shouted.
I began shaking.
My eyes shot open.
Marta was by my side. She looked concerned. "Judge, are you okay? You started screaming and I got worried."
I nodded. "Yes, thank you." I was breathless.
"Can I get you some water?"
"Please."
She left and returned moments later with a small glass of water.
I thanked her and took a drink.
She hesitated, unsure what to do.
"I'm okay. Thank you, Marta," I spoke.
She nodded and left the room.
I took a deep breath and drank some of the water she provided. Then, I got out of bed and went to the closet. I slipped on fresh panties and a simple black cotton dress. I stepped into a pair of black flats.
I cleaned my makeup up and went downstairs.
Marta was in the living room.
"I'm going to see Mr. Robinson."
She nodded. "Very well, Your Honor."
I got in the elevator and went down to Reed's firm.
When the elevator stopped on his floor, I got out. I went to his office, but he wasn't there. I went to the conference room.
He was sitting with Peter, Evan, and Tiffany. They were talking with papers everywhere. They had an open bottle of scotch, their sleeves pushed up. They looked busy.
I knocked on the door.
They all looked up.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
I ignored her. "Reed, got a minute?"
He looked concerned and stood. He followed me from the room. "Let's go to my office."
Once we were in his office, he closed the door and turned to me.
I took a breath. My arms were folded across my chest.
"Look, she's in a legal rut and it was an emergency, so she called us. I didn't tell you, because I didn't want you to worry."
I didn't say anything.
"Say something."
Instead of saying anything, I walked up to him and threw my arms around him. I buried my face in his neck as tears fell from my eyes, my body shaking.
He wrapped his arms around me, his hands rubbing my back.
When I calmed down, I didn't release him.
"What's going on? This surely wasn't brought on by Tiffany."
"I had another nightmare. Marta-Marta woke me up, but I just-I needed a hug."
He pulled me back in his arms. "This job is taking a toll on you. I wish I could do something."
I sighed. I didn't know what to do.
Reed kissed my head. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head.
"Do you want me to come back upstairs?"
"You have work to do," I mumbled into his shoulder.
"Not if you need me."
"I'm okay," I whispered.
"Honey, you're wrapped around me in a panic. You're not okay."
"I have to be."
"No," he softly spoke.
"Reed-"
"Come back in there with me. I can hold you and calm you down."
"She'll make fun of me."
"Then, I'll drop her as a client."
"Reed-"
"No, you need me. I know you do."
I nodded.
He lifted me up, lifting my legs around his waist. He carried me to the conference room. "Say one negative word and I'm done."
Silence.
"Is Georgia okay?" Evan asked.
"Her new position is getting to her. She's taking the work home with her mentally."
"Is she asleep?"
"No," Reed spoke. "Now, where were we?"
"Can we talk with her here?" Tiffany sneered.
"With her or without me. You decide."
"Fine. She can stay."
"We were recapping the situation," Peter spoke.
"So you were dating this guy and he gave you a necklace. Two days later, the police arrived, mentioned the necklace and accused you of stealing the necklace?" Evan asked.
"Yes."
"And he hadn't paid for it?"
"Right. His father owned the store," she explained.
My fingers involuntarily gripped Reed's shirt.
He placed a hand over mine.
They continued talking about her case for a few minutes, but I wasn't paying attention. I was focusing on Reed's breathing, on my breathing. I didn't want to fall asleep. I couldn't let myself fall asleep; that's when the nightmares happened.
Reed absentmindedly rubbed the back of my knuckles with his thumb. His thumb played with my ring. . . very distracting. I did it all the time, but it was maddening when he did it. It was a small affection that he probably didn't even realize he was doing.
Reed's phone buzzed.
He casually lifted me up a bit and fished it out of his pocket. He answered, "Robinson. At this hour? Yes, hang on. . . Georgia, can you talk a moment?"
"To whom?"
"Your father."
I took the phone and stood from Reed's lap. I left the room and went to the restroom.
"Dad?"
"Peaches, hi. I know it's late, but I had to call you."
"About what?" I asked.
"Your nan has lost her fucking mind."
"What did she do?" I asked.
"She married that fucker!"
"What?" I blinked. I needed to be more awake for this conversation. It wasn't processing.
"She married Henry!"
"No!" I gasped.
"Yes!"
"Oh, no. Was she in her right mind?"
"I don't know."
"Oh, God."
"And she wants to bring him to Christmas!"
"Dad-"
"I know!"
"I-I should check with Reed. We-We have a lot of, uh, valuables. Henry is a stranger and-"
"Oh! That's an excuse! We'll use that!" he gasped, sounding cheerful.
"Dad, I didn't mean-"
"Don't worry. I'll handle it. I'll talk to you in the morning." He hung up.
I sighed and went back to the conference room.
"Everything okay?" Reed asked.
"Nan married the weird little man from Thanksgiving."
"That was quick."
"I know. She wants to bring him to Christmas. When I mentioned he was a stranger, Dad said we'd use that and hung up."
"What's a family event without a little drama?" he smirked.
"Ha. You're cute," I sarcastically smiled. I handed him his phone. "I'm going back upstairs."
"Okay, give me a kiss first."
Everyone quieted down.
Reed looked at them. "What?"
"You never kiss in public," Peter spoke.
"What public? It's you, Evan, and Tiffany."
"Two exes and a horny man. Your point?"
Reed looked at me, looking annoyed. "I'll see you upstairs."
I shrugged, walked to him, and kissed him deeply, almost sloppily. Then, I left the office. I went upstairs to our apartment.
I went to the bar and poured some brandy into a glass. I sighed and downed it, then I poured another glass and went to the record player. I put on a Rat Pack Greatest Hits record. Then, I went to the window. I looked at the New York skyline before me. It was gorgeous, dark, and dazzling with lights. Breathtaking.
I stood there, sipping my brandy and watching the lights twinkle in the world outside. Time ticked by. Eventually, the sun began to rise. It had to be around 6. How had time passed so quickly? When did I wake?
Reed still hadn't returned.
Sinatra's "I've Got You Under My Skin" began to fill the room. It was quietly alluring, soft. Sinatra's rich voice was soothing. It made me long for Reed. If he were home, we'd be dancing or making love to Sinatra.
I wondered what he was doing, if they were still working. Surely, they were. He'd be home if they were finished, right? He-He wouldn't still be down there with Tiffany. What if they weren't down there? What if they were in his office, making love like we'd never been able to do in his office? What if they went back to her place? What if they were making love to Sinatra?
Dean Martin's "Ain't that a Kick in the Head" began to fill the room.
Hands touched my hips.
I gasped, jumping back.
I could feel him against me. His body was alert and reacting to me.
"Are you shaking that ass of yours to tempt me?" Reed whispered in my ear. He planted a kiss on my neck.
"Where have you been?" I whispered.
"I was working."
"All night?"
"Yeah. She wouldn't leave."
"I can imagine why," I scoffed.
Reed brought us to a halt. He stepped in front of me. "What?"
"She loves you. She wants you. You don't think that every ounce of time she can manage to spend with you she will?"
"Georgia-"
"No."
"What's this about?"
"You know what this is about, Reed. I'm sick of this coming up. I'm sick of her."
"Georgia, I don't talk to her anymore. I just had to be on this case, because I'm a partner."
"No, you don't. You always get to choose your cases. Just admit that you wanted to see her."
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because I didn't want to see her! Why would I?"
"Reed-"
"No, Georgia! No, we're done with this conversation! We're done talking about her. I don't want to talk about her again."
"But-"
"End of discussion."
"You can't just-"
"It's my house and I don't want to talk about this anymore!"
"Yes, it is your house."
"Oh, forevermore!" he gasped, exasperated. "Georgia, I don't want to go over this again!"
"But I do!"
"No! We're not talking about this!"
"What makes you get final say?"
"Because I'm sick of this conversation!"
"So because you don't want to talk about it, we won't?"
"Yes!" he snapped.
"Reed-"
"No. You're going to be a Robinson. That means I'm going to take care of you. That means that I'm going to provide for you--that's what this place is."
"So this amounts back to being a Robinson? Why don't you ask Tiffany? She seemed so keen last night and she would love to be taken care of until the day she dies!" I snapped.
"Hey, I am taking care of you and I'm going to--rather you like it or not!"
"Because I'm going to be a Robinson?"
"Yes!"
"Well, then maybe I shouldn't be!"
He took a step back as if I'd slapped him.
I took a deep breath. Did I really just say that out loud, to Reed?
He turned in a circle. He was at a loss for words.
I was quiet for a moment, then I spoke, "Reed-"
"I've been working all night. I need a shower," he spoke, sounding like he couldn't even process an emotion. He sounded almost confused and extremely wounded.
I didn't say anything.
He turned and went upstairs. He closed the door to our bedroom.
Marta came in. "Coffee, Your Honor?"
"Please," I sighed.
"And Mr. Robinson?"
"I don't know. Ask him when he gets out of the shower."
"Yes, Your Honor. Breakfast?"
"No, thank you."
She nodded and stepped into the kitchen.
A moment later, she came back and handed me a cup of coffee.
I downed it slowly and took it to the sink. Then, I went upstairs. I took a deep breath and knocked on the bedroom door.
"Come in," Reed spoke.
I went in the bedroom.
He was looking out the window. He was changed, wearing fresh jeans and a white shirt.
I closed the door.
"Do you love me?" he softly asked.
"Yes."
"Do you want to marry me?"
"Yes."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Then, why the hell would you bring all of that shit up?"
"I've just been alone all night and I'd been drinking. I-I was worried when you hadn't come upstairs. My brain began to make all of these terrible thoughts. I just-I panicked."
He was quiet. "Last night, I took you to my parents' party to meet all of their friends. I actually had a good time. Then, she showed up. If I had known she was going to be there. . ."
"You wouldn't have taken me?"
"We would have stayed home, just you and me. You were beautiful and I-I just wanted to be alone with you. I was happy when we were home, dancing last night. Then, when we made love--you had nothing on but those diamonds I gave you."
I felt my neck. I still had them on. I hadn't realized I was still wearing them.
"I was the happiest man alive. I hadn't wanted to leave you, but I did. I thought you were coming to get me last night, I was praying you were coming to get me. And after that kiss, I couldn't think straight the rest of the night. I just-I had to pretend I knew what the hell was going on."
"There's nothing going on?"
His shoulders drooped. His head fell, lifting his hands to cradle his head. He sighed. "There's nothing going on between us, Georgia. Damn it, what do I have to do?" He turned to me and shrugged. "I'm already marrying you. What more is there to do?"
I didn't know.
"As for being a Robinson, you think she could do it?"
"Yes."
He scoffed. "We only tolerate their family, because her dad has money and power. You think we want to deal with them?"
"You loved this woman. You wanted to marry her."
"No."
"Reed-"
"I didn't want to be alone," he sighed, seeming like the words liberated him. It was as if he'd been choking on them for years.
"What?"
"That's why you loving Evan more than me made sense. You loved him. You wanted to marry him. I-It wasn't the same thing with Tiffany, because she was my consolation prize. She was what I was settling for, because I couldn't find anyone."
"But you had an intimate relationship with her," I spoke. I wasn't understanding.
He looked pained.
"What? You did sleep with her, right?"
"Yes, but it didn't mean anything."
"How could it not?"
"Because it was just fucking!" he snapped.
I froze. What?
"We were in a relationship, but I-I didn't love her. I just didn't want to be alone."
"So why did you sleep with her?"
"Georgia-"
"No, I want to know."
He sighed. "I slept with her, because of her status. I slept with her, because I was alone and had sexual needs. She was a mediocre fuck, but that was all she was."
"Mediocre?"
He nodded, sighing.
"And am I just a mediocre fuck?"
"No."
"How can I be so sure? How can I know that you just don't want to be alone?"
"Because I love you. I'm brightened by you. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. You are the one person I was looking to find, the one I was going to give up to settle for her."
"And why not do it now? Why not settle for her now?"
"Because being with someone who loves me, after seeing that you're real, I can't just turn back on that. I can't just pretend like you don't exist--that we're not extraordinary."
"You do love me?"
"Yes."
I nodded.
He walked over to me. "And there's nothing mediocre about you." He gripped my hips.
I looked up at him.
"And if you should be a Robinson doesn't matter. You can be. I want you to be. That's all that matters."
"The standards-"
"Fuck the standards."
I looked at him.
There was a knock on the door.
Mrs. Robinson spoke, "Reed?"
He sighed. "Mom, what are you doing here?"
"Mrs. Edwards called me to come make sure you're working on her daughter's case."
"I'll meet you in the living room."
"Why are you on her case?" she asked.
"Not now, Mom."
"What does Georgia think?"
"She's not too happy about it."
"Certainly not. I wouldn't be either. Is she leaving you?"
"I don't know. I'll meet you downstairs."
She sighed heavily, but heels retreated.
My eyes searched Reed's. "I need a shower."
"Wait."
I looked at him.
He took the necklace from my neck, then each earring. "I'll go put these in the closet. Do you need me to find you an outfit?"
"No."
"We'll finish talking later, okay?"
I nodded.
He left the bedroom.
I went to the restroom and stripped. I took a quick, hot shower. Then, I got out and dried off. I quickly dried and curled my hair. I went to our closet and slipped on a bra and panties set, then I slipped on a simple black sheath dress. I did my makeup and stepped into my flats.
I started to go downstairs.
"What does the judge think?" Senator Robinson asked.
"She thinks there's something between us."
"There's not, right?"
"Of course not."
"You're lying," she spoke.
"Mom-"
"Tell me the truth. What did you do?"
"We were all drunk. We were on our fourth bottle of alcohol. . ."
"Reed, did you have sex?"
"No. God, no. We just-We kissed. That's it. That's all that happened."
I continued my descent. I went to the living room. "You kissed her?"
Reed swirled around and turned to me. "Georgia-"
"It's Christmas Eve and you kissed another woman and lied to me about it?"
"I-"
"Was anything you just said to me true?"
"Of course it was. It was all true."
"Reed, did you have sex with her?" I asked. "Don't lie to me."
"I don't want to talk about this in front of my parents. I-"
"Answer her, Reed," Mrs. Robinson ordered.
"We started to, but I came to my senses and pushed her away from me."
"Started to? What the hell does that mean?" the Senator snapped.
"Dad-"
"Were you undressed?" I asked.
"Partially."
"Reed, talk. Now."
"She had undressed and she had undressed me from the waist down," he sighed.
"So you're telling me you were with a naked woman and you had nothing on from the waist down and you didn't go all the way?" I asked.
"Son, that sounds a bit odd," the Senator spoke.
"I really don't want to talk about this."
Peter came in the condo with Evan and Tiffany.
They froze when they saw us.
"Oh. This doesn't look like fun," Evan spoke.
"It's not even eight in the morning," Peter spoke.
"Reed, you should probably answer Georgia," Mrs. Robinson spoke.
"Not in front of everyone."
I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to the study. I shut the door behind us. "Reed, why didn't you have sex with her?"
"Because I couldn't," he whispered.
"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.
"When what was happening aligned in my brain, my body couldn't react."
"Your body couldn't react?" I slowly asked. "What?"
He stepped closer to me and whispered, "I couldn't get an erection. I couldn't get aroused."
"Cheating doesn't do that for you? You were drunk. You don't get horny when you're drunk?"
He blinked.
"Reed!" I snapped.
"I do, but I wasn't affected by her."
"Why the hell not? She's gorgeous!"
"She's not you."
I rolled my eyes. I took a step back from him. "I have to go."
"Go where?"
"I have to get out of here. I need to process this."
"Okay."
"If she was a mediocre fuck, why wouldn't you be affected?"
"I don't know why, but you're the only way I can get one now."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Mediocre doesn't work for me anymore."
I took a breath. "Reed, if you had been able to get an erection, would you have had sex with her?"
"No, I told you, my brain realized what was going on."
"Where were you?"
"The conference room."
"So Peter and Evan left? You were done working?"
He shifted his weight.
"What?"
"They were the ones who got me drunk. They wanted to watch."
The blood left my face. I stormed out of the study.
Reed was on my heels. "Georgia, what are you doing? What are you-"
I walked up to Evan and slapped him across the face.
He stumbled back. "Just like old times."
I turned to Tiffany.
The next thing I knew, the Senator was gripping my arms. "Georgia! Georgia! Georgia!"
He stood between us.
I glared at him.
"Beating her skull in will strip you of your judicial position and get you sued. Take a breath."
I took a heavy breath.
Marta came in. "Judge?"
"What?" I sighed, trying to keep it together.
"Andy called. He said Sue found something you have to see. They're at the courthouse."
I nodded. "Excuse me."
The Senator released me.
I grabbed my clutch from the night before, a coat, and my car keys. I hurried from the condo. My head was spinning. I had every thought imaginable go through my mind. I didn't know what I was going to do.