Dedicated to fianna2452. Is also one of the readers who comment and vote a lot. Thanks so much and I hope you won't kill me for the current chapter.
And yes, I would be dedicating more from now on. Since this thing would be finished a bit soon, I would just be dedicating the rest of the top readers/voters/commenters on the previous, undedicated chapters. I also would want you to know that for the silent readers, I also love you. I know you're there considering the amount of reads I have. And for the mobile readers, I also love you. I myself uses the mobile app for easier track, etc. and yeah... In a nutshell, I love all my readers, no matter what kind of Wattpad-er (?) you are.
Enough of this, (I will continued my feelings later) Time for the next chapter! Yay! (Please don't kill me) And time to continue the next one, I suppose XD
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FOURTEEN - Separated
“Hey.”
You clutched the fabric that was placed in front of your hand. You held unto it as if your life depended on it. You cried on the same fabric. It was nice, really. It was warm and it gave out a really nice rhythm.
Dub dub. Dub dub.
“Hey…”
You looked up. Despite your vision being blurry, you could see that you were clutching his polo shirt. You pulled it to your direction so hard that it unbuttoned the first few buttons, revealing a part of his chest.
“Shut up…” That was the first thing that you could say. “Y-you have n-no idea… what happened there…” You were stuttering, while tears were still falling down your face.
The bitch you are, you didn’t care. It made you feel good. You may have looked your worst because you were crying. You were in the most uncomfortable position – your legs were in knots, and that your back was arched. But you felt good.
It was then when you felt him inch his head closer, and whispered to your ear, “I may or I may not see what happened but Jesus, please stop crying. Whatever you saw there, don’t worry about it. I’m here. No need to be afraid.”
“Hey, [name]…”
You then placed your arms around him, crying harder. You couldn’t see anything anymore, so you closed your eyes and let your greasy tears flow. You felt him nudge, and you could feel that the arms were moving, sending shocks through your sides. You got that tingly feeling when he placed his arms on your waist. It was weird, but then it felt good.
“…I rushed in here, because I felt so damned worried. I’m just thankful you’re safe,” he said, his hands moving to caress the strands of your hair. You continued to lull into sleep…
But then, something woke your senses up.
It was the smell of blood. It came from his hands.
“[name]!” a male voice shouted, almost ringing your ears. You came back from your own reverie, seeing the face of Connie. His hand was on your shoulder, and that you noticed that the class was somewhat divided. Each group formed chairs equal to the number of their members into a circle, and you were on your own group, facing Connie and a few other members that you only knew by their first names. You looked at them, and saw that the whole class was staring at your direction.
“Is there something wrong, Mr. Springer?” the teacher, Mr. Nile Dok, said. He was in front of you and Connie, raising an eyebrow.
“N-nothing, sir…” Connie said with his usual enthusiastic voice, removing his hand on your shoulder and scratching the back of his head. “It was just part of the yell we were supposed to have… right, [name]?”
“Is that true, Ms. [last name]?” Mr. Dok asked, looking at you skeptically.
You looked around. Your members looked down, preventing any eye contact from the teacher. The whole class still continued to look, while some didn’t care enough and just went out to their own personal businesses. There was this awkward man with black hair who looked at you with cold eyes.
You were entwined by his stare, but eventually, you looked away and looked back to Mr. Dok. You were lost for words.
“Well?” he said, eyeing you, much keener than usual. You gulped.
“Y-yes sir!” you said, accidentally placing your right hand balled into a fist on your chest, and your left arm at the back.
“I may be a former military man, Ms. [last name], but I do not need such formalities,” he remarked.
“N-no, sir…” you stuttered. “I-it was part of the drill…”
He kept looking at you, making Connie and the rest of your groupmates a bit tense. “I see…” he finally said, making the rest of your members sigh with relief.
“But please, keep your noises into a minimum,” he stated and slowly went away. The entire class stopped glaring and went back to their respective works.
That time, you were formed into groups and to discuss something about the topic. You didn’t listen to most of it. You were on your own field of imagination, making a series of ifs and imagining a series of moments that would have happened. The next thing you knew, you were team leader, and that discussion is only a few minutes’ time.
Yet, you didn’t care. The possibility of you failing and being embarrassed in front of the whole class didn’t get much into your nerves. You gave the shoulder of responsibility of being a leader to Connie, who was in that moment, panicking to the point that he might be hyperventilating. You thought that things like this would only pass for the next hour, with the class basically forgetting about it a few minutes after they went out of their classrooms.
As much as you would want to get out of such a spell, you couldn’t. All that you could do was simply rest your chin on your hands while listlessly looking out the window.
You saw when Levi looked at you back then. He was in another group, and you noticed that his groupmates were seated a bit farther away than it should be. He was releasing some awkward aura. You couldn’t point out what emotion could it be, but you knew the reason. You broke up with him.
That night, when you entered the office, a few teachers were there. Mister Smith was one of them. He saw you the moment you entered and simply told you to come near his table, letting you take a seat to one of the teacher’s chair beside him.
There were a few moments of silence between the both of you. You couldn’t look at him in the face for unknown reasons so you only either looked down or at your surroundings. He sighed, making you look down when you saw one of the teachers taking their leave.
“I see…” he finally said. “I was right.”
You looked up. He placed his arms on the armrest. He eyed on you, which made you sit up straight.
“Looking back…” you started to say. Your voice was soft, but it was audible enough for Mr. Smith to hear. “… he did have an aura that could kill.”
“I see,” he said sternly. “You lost on our bet, [name].”
You sighed and looked away. “Guess I did, Erwin.”
“Well, you don’t really have to if you don’t want. It seemed you make Levi really happy, and that he does too with you.”
You chuckled. “Now you tell me,” you jokingly said. You again went back to your old, sad expression. “But then, I guess I have to do this. For us.”
He looked at you skeptically. “Are you sure with your decision?”
You paused. Are you?
Looking over everything, he might be the killer. He might kill anyone else because of you. He might kill you in the process. You were scared of that possibility. If there was anything that you believed in, it was that Levi couldn’t possibly kill you. He vowed on that. He wanted you safe. It would hurt a million times as much than breaking up with him.
Then again, a part of you wanted to be with him. Forever. That was what you always felt with him. What if everything that was happening has been a hoax? What if there was this sick person who looked like Levi, use the same kitchen and hardware appliances as him, and has the same addiction to clove cigarettes as him? You thought of that, but what would that sick person want?
‘What would happen if I broke up with him? What would happen if I didn’t?’ you thought. All possibilities and assumptions ran through your head to the point that you actually had a headache.
Then, you heard Mr. Smith snapping his fingers in front of you. You shook your head and you went back to reality. You looked at his stoic face and went to slightly slapping your own cheeks with your hands.
“Okay, I’m alive…” you stupidly said, making Mr. Smith smirk.
“You could think about this, you know?” he said.
“No… I think I’m going to break up with him,” you said, with your voice toning up and down.
“It seems you’re not sure. Just—” he said, until you said something to cut him.
“If I really am meant for him, then we’ll be together again once this whole shenanigan is over, see?” you said. “And I guess he might understand…”
The blonde teacher only looked at you, evaluating whatever it is on his head. “Are you sure with your decision?”
You nodded. “I will break up with him.”
“I shall respect your decision then,” Mr. Smith said. “You may go now.”
You stood up, and was about to head for the door when you stopped on your tracks. “What is your relation to Levi anyway?”
You looked back to Mr. Smith, and you saw him wear a genuine and pure smile. “You could say that I saved him. But what he’s doing is just too much.”
“I see,” you said. “Goodbye then. Wish me luck…” you continued with a much jollier voice, and you skipped out of the room.
---
“Goddammit…”
You internally cursed to yourself. Why were you doing this anyway? Why were you having second thoughts?
“Well?” Levi said coldly, his arms folded, leaning on the wall you forgot to point out was kind of disgusting. “Is there anything you want to do here?”
It was a bright day, around lunch. The sky was blue and there were a few clouds on the sky. The sun didn’t show its harsh rays. Yet you disturbed him in the middle of lunch just to place him on the alley outside of school. It was the same alley where he confessed to you.
Levi leaned on the walls of the alley, whilst you went to the other side of the alley, standing still.
“Levi…” you started to say. It was only audible enough for you to hear.
“I mean, seriously president. We still have shit to do…” he continued to say.
You looked down, preventing yourself from seeing him. “I… I…”
Levi looked at you, and noticed you shaking. He walked towards your direction and placed his hand on the wall beside your head, inching towards you. “You might be pissing me off right now, [name], cut the bullcrap and just tell me—”
“Levi, I want to break up with you!” you shouted.
You looked to Levi. He was shocked, very shocked. He was totally caught off-guard. “Could you say that again?” he asked, still wearing that shocked expression
“I… I…” you stuttered. You took in a deep breath, and looked back at him in the eyes. “I want to break up with you, Levi!”
He blinked twice. It seemed that he doesn’t believe in what you said. It was an awkward silence between the two of you in a while. He was still close on your face, feeling his breath even though he doesn’t speak.
When you were ready to repeat it, he breathed out, and asked you, “Could I know the reason why?”
This time, you were shocked. You were surprised on how calmly he handled the situation. You imagined worse; that was why you were thinking twice of even doing it. You thought that he might hurt you, pulling you up by your collar, shouting and demanding why. This time, he looked at you with a cold expression, but you can’t help but notice the sadness in his eyes.
“I-I think… we just need time… away from each other.” It was the nicest way to say ‘I don’t want you anywhere because you are choking me’ and ‘because I lost to a blonde man in a bet’ without the bet part.
He closed his eyes, and prepared for the worst, readying your hands from any form of pain and torture he might give you. He then opened his eyes again and looked at you. “I see.”
“Really?” you asked, somewhat astonished.
“Now, repeat what you said. It seemed more like a mere suggestion than something that you really mean,” he said. He was serious. He was ready to accept it.
“Levi, I am breaking up with you.”
And everything ended. He finally removed his hand away from you and stepped out, going back to the wall across you and let out a cigarette. The Freiheit kind. You walked away the moment you heard the bell, signaling the afternoon classes.
You felt a tear come across your face. You immediately wiped it away when you saw Mr. Smith walking from another direction.
Both of you stopped on your tracks when your paths intersected. You wanted to pass using the other way but he kept on blocking you. You then decided to look up the tall blonde teacher.
He simply stared at you. No expressions. No signals. No nothing. But it felt like he was expecting something.
You simply nodded slowly, signaling that you did your job. He nodded back, and walked away, leaving you dumbfounded with anything and everything that has happened.
You felt that you wanted to die. There and then.