Trying to fix everything up, 28/7/2016
Song – Melanie Martinez - Soap
Chapter 4
I rolled over in my tired state late the next morning; at 11am on Sunday I planned to go shopping but at this ungodly hour I felt like I had no time at all; I groaned and stretched which supplied me with a noise similar to Chewbacca. Once again I had slept in my clothes, usually I wore shorts and a top or something that let me relax so my latest trend was not pleasing in the slightest. I shook off the clothes and slung them into a pile in the corner before taking a long bath.
It was nice to just stop, relaxing in the hot water with bubbles slipping around my body and in between my toes. The entire apartment was unnervingly quiet and I hated it, it gave me space and time to think which wasn't that much of a good thing to be completely honest. I was still in shock, the fact that every time something happened, every time I got in trouble my dad gave me 'a new start' instead of working things out. Since everything happened, the entire year and a half where my life took a crash course in falling apart he had been distant, bought me a new car or a new games console when I needed him to talk to me. Sometimes I thought that maybe it was because if he spoke to me then it wouldn't be just me breaking down.
But this was the worst thing he had ever done, Lucy had explained in great detail via email that by coming back I wouldn't be staying because my room was the new workout area and had already been cleaned out completely and they were starting decorating. My heart was heavy, it hadn't gotten any lighter since I came here on Friday but there was nothing I could do about that.
I got out of the bath, the lingering feeling leaving it's mark as I slipped on some blue jeans and a baggy, off the shoulder T-Shirt with converses and brushed my naturally black, straight hair out. I sighed as my hands shook while I applied my eyeliner, the silence was palpable as I got my wing to perfection and started on the next eye before coating my lashes with mascara and grabbing my car keys, bag and leather jacket. I had gotten some areas, buildings and points of interests installed onto my GPS system as I slid into my white SUV and set off to the mall.
When I arrived there I was shocked to say the least, there shouldn't be this many fake boobs in one building, I felt like Hugh Hefner as I slid in between the automatic doors, my hair blowing around from the air conditioning above, I tried not to bite at the remarks made at me as I walked past the crowds of women with fake eyelashes bigger than Danielle Hunt's Hair and took a moment to appreciate the selection of stores before me, angels sang and harps played as I came to a familiar shop named Doc Black.
Feeling right at home as I trailed the store in heavenly peace, my fingers stroking the fabric of different styles and colours; Doc Black was a well-known store and specialised in alternative clothing with rockabilly dresses, tops and jeans and all types of gothic, scene clothes and some novelty attire too with a lot of graphic design. I didn't need a basket, I needed a trolley as I threw T-shirts, shirts and blouses into my arms, purchasing a lot of summer wear as well as winter wear and bough myself a black Harrington jacket, a few pairs of Iron Fist shoes and boots, Doc Martens and beanies but not without grabbing the right pieces of Jewellery, I was getting carried away, the store assistant scanned more and more items and I picked even more up; I paid in cash happily and took the bags back to my car before returning for more 'light shopping'.
I walked around for a little, entering a large store similar to H&M to pick up some men's clothing for bed. I walked through, putting random things in the basket before a familiar voice caught me off guard; I halted walking, colliding into a clothing rack heavily. I grunted, making a strange noise which seemed to be almost guttural as I stood still and peaked through the shelves and racks.
"Mom, why do I need to be here- I have everything I need, we don't need to spend too much on things I don't need" spoke the guy from yesterday that helped me out at Wal-Mart as a small, dark haired woman pulled out a t-shirt and held it up against his chest, struggling to stretch it out over his shoulders, I watched as she turned and got the next size up.
"I want to treat you" She grinned, grabbing a pink Ralph Loren shirt. The colour contrasted against his tight black shirt and jeans and his even darker hair shook free as he pinched the bridge of his nose awkwardly beneath his glasses.
"We can't a-" He spoke as a group of girls walked past, laughing at his situation and him in general. I went against every fibre in my body but nothing stopped me slipping through the gap and interjecting.
"Pink isn't his colour, look at the blue ones" I grinned as I pretended to be passing, glancing at him as a blush spread across his cheeks and he looked down, staring at his feet.
"Hi again" I chuckled, suddenly feeling just as awkward and he looked up, smiling back but I was already heading to the checkout to hear him say it back.
I did my shopping for now and returned back to the apartment with a stupid grin, his general face made me giddy and I couldn't shake the excitement I got from seeing him, I carried the bags in and unpacked everything from the brown paper carriers when a knock sounded out at my door.
"Who is it?" I shouted as I wiped my hands against the back pockets of my jeans and pulled open the front door, there stood Daniel with a bottle of cheap wine and a dopey look on his face as I stepped aside to let him pass.
"Hey, how did you get in?" I asked, kicking the door closed and walking behind the kitchen island so I was facing him.
He let out a whistle and muttered 'Nice Place' before turning to face me, leaning over the counter
"Oh there's an intercom section on the side of the wall but I wasn't sure which one you lived in so I just waited for someone to leave and snuck in behind them- luckily it was right first try" He replied, sitting on the stool he pulled out with his feet. So that's what the white box was beside the door...an intercom.
"So what's up?" I wondered, cracking open the bottle of wine and pouring it into two mugs
"Classy" He scoffed "Just came to catch up, last night wasn't much of a good one" He laughed, taking a drink.
"I'm surprised Louis didn't hit you up" I said, my eyes piercing him as he talked to me
"He did but I didn't know when you were coming, how you been" He asked
"Apart from being the one thing my dad regrets pretty good" I laughed, finishing of the wine as he watched me, his eyes following every move I've made.
"Good, you look great" He replied
"Considering the last time you saw me I was an actual train wreck I think I can agree" I whispered, to anyone it would sound like I was just referring to a bad few years fashion wise but it was deeper than that.
"You went through hell, even then you managed to look semi-normal" He replied in all seriousness causing me to roll my eyes inwardly.
"Please tell me you didn't come here to talk about THAT" I emphasised the word, my heart pounding inside my chest as I hoped silently he would avoid the topic.
"We haven't spoken since, have you heard from him?" Daniel asked, his voice laced with concern and worry
"Nope, that night when everything blew up he just left" I sighed, head in my hands to momentarily rub my temples. "I literally jump and panic every time I get a call from a withheld number or someone messages me on Tumblr, twitter... I'm a mess but I'll get through it" I finished with a reassuring smile but I wasn't kidding anyone.
"What happened when I left?" Daniel croaked, lighting up a cigarette and looking around for something to flick his ash in, I passed him over a bowl from the sink promising to wash it out afterwards before I replied.
"I haven't seen you in so long, you can't come over here and bring this all up" I sighed, looking pointedly at him
"How close were we Paige? I know you inside out it's not like you can't trust me" He replied, holding his hands out in a surrendering motion.
"Fine! you left, I coped for another week, I ... I fought back for a bit then started trying to sedate me-" I choked up remembering Liam, my ex-boyfriend. After my mom died he was there and we became close but he was too controlling. "-He started buying Tee stuff and being really creepy with me and other girls" I finished with a cough, Teena was my younger sister and I felt too protective over her, she was young when mom died and I felt like I needed to be that role model. I sure as hell wasn't letting her look up to Lucy.
"I should never have left; it's like when you used to come over with bruises and you just looked so empty" He shook his head, swigging the wine from the bottle.
"Can we change the subject, It's only been a few years man It's still raw" I chuckled, the pain in my voice obvious.
I watched as he dusted off the wine he bought me and pulled out a flask from the inside of his jacket, offering me some and clearly not expecting me to decline
"Dude, I have school tomorrow" I laughed, hoping he would get the hint and leave me to lick my newly re-opened wounds in peace.
"So do I" he grinned with a wink, he was the same age as me but a lot less fortunate in terms of lifestyles.
"What happened with Marina then, you guys back together?" I asked, changing the subject and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge to wash away the sour taste of white wine.
"Not yet, we're getting there though I mean...she's answering my texts now" He laughed hard "But I haven't seen that girl since she left my bedroom, good thing as well. I loathe her" he hissed but they were childhood sweethearts, he even moved here for her. I shook my head and laughed out a 'it'll be fine' before checking the clock.
"How's Tee?" he asked, avoiding his own awkward subject
"Yeah, she's good she's almost 15 now it's freaking crazy, I have another sister though she's called Elizabeth because Lucy thought the name was fancy but we call her Elle" I smiled, pointing to a picture on the fridge of me, Teena at my left and Elle on my right hip as we gazed at the camera the last time we were all together at once. I never saw them with both of them living with my Grandma, Lucy had never even saw her daughter grow up and now she's toddling around at 3 years old.
"Aww she's cute" He said, looking lovingly at the picture.
"So-"He whistled "what about Carrick?" Daniel said randomly, speaking about my dad
"You don't need to pretend to be interested" I spoke, feeling a chuckle fall out of my mouth.
I couldn't ask about his parents because he was a child that grew up in foster care, right now he lived at a halfway house with his only tie being Marina his on and off girlfriend.
"Well in general he's just always looking for an argument but since everything happened he's become harder on me, wants to keep me controlled" I sighed, rolling my eyes and taking a heavy breath.
"What's going on anyway, with racing and all that" I asked, showing an interest as I ebbed towards the topic of him leaving, I was having dinner at Aunt Lilly's and was running out of time.
"When I moved here I joined a crew but I was working for some idiot and he didn't like that I made more money than him so he kicked me out" He tutted, sucking his teeth "So I made my own crew, pretty cool actually and now we're popular and I have my own managers; It's crazy that I own my own company"
"Illegal company" I chirped in after his sentence
"I left Liam's when the shit went down, they tampered with my bike and kept getting me jumped so Louis let me say I was in his, you know how it goes- you mess with the girl you mess with her gang" My words were precise and fast.
It was true, the way it was in the crews was like turf, a huge family that worked together and looked after each other- it was almost animalistic the way it went, what with staking your claim on a person and their life but it wasn't how it sounded.
"True that" He swigged another mouthful of whatever liquid was in his flask and
Swivelled on the seat
"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come check the crew out, you know have a look and shit" He smiled, a slight almost unnoticeable slur in his voice.
"I'll check it out yeah, but right now I have somewhere to be so can you text me?" I asked, slowly ushering him out of the door, not expecting his company at all.
"Yeah okay goodbye" He said, all in a monotone voice with no breaks in his words before I managed to shut the door, leaning against it and tilting my head back.
I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my racing heart and overactive mind, Daniel was always blunt and to the point and that was more of a problem than anything, especially when his favourite topic was my life.
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