"Wake you up in the middle of the night to say, 'I will never walk away again.' I'm never gonna leave this bed."
Song: Never Gonna Leave This Bed
Artist: Maroon 5
My body was warm when I woke up, the human blanket of a man covering me almost completely. Harry’s arm was wound tightly around my neck, his forearm snaking between the small gap while his other was draped lazily on the pillow above my head. His breath fanned across my neck warmly because of the way his face was buried in my neck, and his thigh pushed between mine. He was still fast asleep, the gentle rise and fall of his chest telling me so.
My fingers moved automatically down his back, the nails scratching lightly into his skin as he slept. The memories of last night flooded back to me and I couldn’t suppress the grin that spread across my face. The words Harry and I had exchanged, the gentle touches, and the way he’d physically shown me how much he loved me all flashed through my brain, and my heart positively swelled with love for him.
This beautiful boy, who had been so opposed to anything resembling a relationship when I first met him, had come so incredibly far. He had figured out how to express himself, on the rare occasion that he did, he’d learned, mostly, how to behave in a relationship, but most of all, he’d learned how to love. It was completely evident to me that while it was still extremely new to him, it was just as real for him as it was for me.
A sudden sharp exhale from around my neck told me he had woken up, although I wasn’t sure why. It was if his body sensed that I was no longer sleeping and had woken him up. He squeezed his arm behind my neck, hugging himself to me before his lips pushed against the hollow at my throat.
“Morning,” he grumbled, easily assessing that I was awake. His voice was so deep and gravely it was almost impossible to understand him. If he realized how completely he was covering me, he didn’t show it because he made no attempts to move himself off me.
“Hi,” I said, my voice leaking with the happiness I felt. Last night had been absolutely incredible, and I could still feel the after effects of it running through my veins. “How are you?”
“Sleepy,” he murmured into my neck. I could feel his shoulders shifting beneath my palms as he readjusted himself slightly but still resting his weight on me. His shift in position allowed me to feel him pressed against my thigh, firm and very much not sleepy.
“I think you’re lying,” I teased quietly. My hands continued to pet down his back, their movements slow and languid as I took in the feel of his warm skin. His lips pressed into my neck again, this time lingering a little longer as they parted against my skin. He shifted his hips forward, pressing himself against my entrance and I was suddenly buzzing with electricity.
“Hmm, maybe,” he mumbled, trailing his lips up my neck and down my jaw before kissing the corner of my lips. His eyes, despite being bleary with sleep, were an electric green in his current state. His gaze held mine as he shifted forward and pushed into me slightly, waiting for me to stop him.
Like I would ever, ever stop him.
I lifted my head from the pillow to let my lips meet his, kissing him in the early morning light. He took that as permission and shifted completely forward, pushing slowly into me until I was stretched to perfection. Our kisses remained light and feathery as he rolled his body forward slowly, the delicate movements earning a quiet moan from me.
My hand clung to him, never remaining in one place for long as they trailed across his shoulders, down his sides, and around his waist over and over. His hips moved slowly, his actions lazy in the early morning but no less delicious than they had been any previous time. He didn’t let his hands roam my body, instead he kept them around my face, petting back my hair or cupping my cheeks as he held himself up on his elbows.
His movements last night had been devastatingly slow and deep and burning, which resembled his actions now except lazier. His entire body didn’t move the way it had last night, but I could still feel the depth he achieved as he slowly rocked his hips back and forth against mine. His kiss reflected the leisurely pace as he held me close, our bodies tangling together in the perfect way.
It wasn’t long until we were both nearing our end, the early morning and slow, dragging motions quickly building us both to the edge. My back arched off the mattress as a quiet whine left my throat and was immediately stifled by Harry’s lips. His hair was tangled between my fingers as I gripped it lightly, holding onto him desperately as he shifted into me one more time and released the pressure that had built in my stomach.
Warmth flooded through my body, and the electric buzz I had felt the instant he had shifted on top of me seemed to intensify tenfold. My breathing was heavy and uncontrolled as I tensed around him. Only a few seconds went by before he, too, hit his high, his muscles flexing and his lips stilling against mine as he panted slightly. When he collapsed on top of me, his breathing was uneven but not gasping. I could feel the way his heart pounded in his chest like it always did after we were together, and it made me smile.
“I love you,” I whispered. The soft strands of his hair slid past my fingers as I pet them down the back of his head. He had rested his head on my chest again, his warm breath blowing out across my skin.
“I love you, too,” he answered softly. He kissed the skin on my chest lightly.
We lay there for a bit longer, not speaking but exchanging gentle touches and kisses as we let our bodies come down. This was easily the best way to wake up, tangled up in him before allowing him to love me slowly, tenderly. I could definitely, without a doubt, get used to this.
Harry’s rumbling stomach was the only thing that eventually got us out of bed. By that point I had realized the time and decided, once again, to skip my classes. I had already missed two and only had one left for he day, so I decided I’d much rather spend it with Harry. We crawled out of bed, lazily pulling on the minimum requirement of clothes before trudging out to the kitchen. I grabbed my phone on the way, which had someone fallen beneath Harry’s bed.
I sat at the counter and scrolled through the few texts I had while Harry pulled out the necessary ingredients for cereal. Nothing fancy, but absolutely enough to get us going. I only had a few texts, two from Maggie and one from Annie. The first from Maggie asked where I was and the second stated that she assumed I was with Harry and she hoped I had a great time ‘banging my brains out.’ I chuckled, knowing how she was pretty much spot on.
Annie’s text had just come in a few minutes ago and she had asked if I wanted to go out Friday night with her, Maggie, and Jay. I had to reread the text a few times before I absorbed what it meant. Jay?
“Are Jay and Maggie a thing?” I asked Harry nonchalantly as he set a bowl down in front of me.
“A ‘thing’?” he questioned, shooting me an amused look.
“Yeah, Annie just asked if I, well we I guess, wanna go out with her and those two Friday,” I explained. I watched him for any signs of recognition but all he did was shrug.
“I dunno, like I said, he doesn’t really date but neither did I so who knows,” he said. He sounded completely uninterested in his friend’s dating life.
“Aren’t you her roommate? You should know,” he added teasingly as he handed me a box of cereal.
“Yeah, but I haven’t really been home much lately…” I said, feeling suddenly guilty for neglecting my friends. He shot me a wide grin and raised his eyebrows, clearly knowing that he was the reason for my absence from my apartment.
“Shoot,” he said, sounding completely unconcerned. He bent down and rested his elbows on the counter across from me as he started to eat.
“Would you wanna do that?” I asked, rereading the text one last time.
“Do what?” he asked. He was clearly more interested in his breakfast than the conversation. I rolled my eyes playfully.
“Go out with them on Friday,” I said patiently. “And maybe actually stay out for more than an hour this time.”
He chuckled deeply before taking another bite. “Sure, I guess so. No promises on the staying out thing, though.”
I grinned. “I’ll tell her we’re in.”
To be completely honest, I was glad he’d said no promises on the staying out issue, because I knew once we got into that atmosphere again it would be nearly impossible for us to resist each other, but we had to try. I needed to stop blowing my friends off for him or eventually they’d get sick of it and stop asking me all together. I didn’t want that at all.
I sent Annie a text in reply, confirming that we would be game to go out Friday night. Harry and I ate the rest of our breakfast and enjoyed the light mood between us. I made fun of him for only having Cocoa Puffs in his cupboard while he called me an old woman for not appreciating them.
We then spent the day doing absolutely nothing by lazing around the various rooms of his house. I tried, not very slyly, to ask about the meaning behind his tattoos but all I really got from him was a lame explanation of ‘nothing really…’ in a vague tone that told me they were anything but ‘nothing.’ Finally, it was starting to get dark and I had to make my way home.
“I need to go home, baby,” I mumbled. We were sitting on his couch, my back pressed against his as my body rested between his legs. His arms were wound around my shoulders and I hung on to his forearms. His chin pressed down on my shoulder and I could practically feel the frown on his face.
“Why?” he questioned.
“Because, I feel really bad about not spending any time with Maggie,” I explained.
“We’re going out with her tomorrow night,” he reasoned.
“Yeah but you know perfectly well that I’ll end up here,” I said. He didn’t argue.
He sighed heavily. “Fine, fine.”
He unwound his arms from around my shoulders before allowing me to stand up. He reached his arms up lazily and I giggled before grabbing them. I tugged as hard as I could before he finally helped me lift his weight off the couch. After gathering all my things, he followed me to the front door.
“See you tomorrow,” he said, stepping forward and wrapping his hands around the sides of my neck, his thumbs resting on my cheeks. I smiled softly.
“See you tomorrow,” I repeated. “I love you.”
The words still felt deliciously new on my tongue, but I meant them every single time I said them.
“I love you, Hal,” he replied before ducking his head down to kiss me gently. “Drive safe.”
“I will,” I reassured him, smiling wider as he released me and opened the door for me. “Bye.”
“Bye, baby,” he replied, grinning at me as I moved through the door and down the walk. I waved at him once before I heard him shut the door, a ridiculous grin on my face as I made my way down to my car. I unlocked it and jumped behind the wheel, about to start it before something caught my eye.
There, written in what appeared to be red paint, on the back window of my car, was a word. My blood ran cold as I read it easily despite being backwards from where I sat. Immediately, I knew who had done it, and I prayed that Harry hadn’t seen it.
Harry didn’t need to know that Ben, and probably Miles, had painted the word ‘slut’ on the back of my car in big, bold letters.
I gulped as I stared at it, trying to erase it with my eyes but to no avail. I was thankful my apartment was so close to Harry’s house, because there was a good chance no one would see it on the short drive over, especially if I stuck to back streets. I started my car and averted my eyes, determined not to look at it again until I could wash it off.
The entire ride home, I felt like I was on pins and needles. I was terrified of driving by someone I knew and give them the opportunity to read the ugly word plastered on my car, but I was fortunate enough to make it home without seeing a single car. I backed into a parking space in hopes that no one would see it before I could run inside and grab a rag.
I jumped out of my car before dashing inside and grabbing the rattiest towel I could find. I prayed the paint, or whatever it was, would come off as I wet the towel and sprinted back outside. Luckily, the parking lot was fairly deserted as I moved to the back of my car. I inspected the red letters and was relieved to see it didn’t appear to be permanent paint. Upon scratching at it with a fingernail, it peeled fairly easily off the window.
With a sigh of relief, I started scrubbing at the glaring insult with the towel. It didn’t come off as easy as I had expected it too, but after several minutes of hard scrubbing and burning arms, I had the window cleared. I tried not to think about the fact that they had to have done it while I was at Harry’s, which would mean I had been inside his house, mere feet away from them while they snuck around and vandalized my car. I shivered in the quickly darkening night, casting a nervous glance around but seeing nothing before I darted back inside.
The second time I entered the apartment, I noticed Maggie wasn’t there. After texting her, I discovered that she was at Annie and Olivia’s but promised to be home later. It turned out to be very late, because by the time she got home, I was already in bed and nearly asleep while trying not to be resentful. I could have spent the night with Harry after all, it turned out, because my reason for coming home wasn’t even here.
I heard her moving down the hall before closing the door to the bathroom and starting the shower. With a heavy sigh, I rolled over and decided to try and sleep. I fell asleep relatively quickly thanks to the lack of sleep from the previous night. Hours later, my alarm went off and I got ready for my classes.
After several agonizing hours of class, they were finally over and it was finally time to get ready to go out. I called Harry on my drive home, and was pleased to discover he was actually semi-excited for our evening. We planned to, once again, start drinking at his house before heading downtown.
When I got home, Maggie was already in the process of getting ready. She lay sprawled out on the living room floor, painting her nails in the most peculiar position. She grinned at me when I entered and greeted me cheerfully.
“Halle I am so excited for tonight,” she gushed, diverting her gaze back to her nails. I grinned, suspecting she had reason to be more excited for tonight in particular.
“That wouldn’t be because of a certain guy named Jay, would it?” I pressed, grinning smugly as I saw her reaction.
“Oh my god, I’ve been waiting to talk to you about this,” she blurted. “He is so hot.”
I laughed, pleased she finally seemed excited about a guy. Usually she was more into the one-and-done kind of thing, but I actually liked Jay and the thought of them potentially working something out made me happy. We spent the next two hours sitting on the floor, doing our nails, and talking about the potential between her and Jay. She occasionally asked me about Harry before inevitably bringing the conversation back to Jay, not that I minded. It was nice to talk about her boy issues for once instead of my own.
It was nearly six pm before we discovered the time. We both jumped off the floor to start getting ready for our night, a giddy excitement flooding through our apartment. After showering, doing our make up and hair and getting dressed, we were finally ready to travel to Harry’s and get the night started.
Only the memory of the ugly word plastered across the back of my car managed to bring my mood down slightly, the sight of my car parked allowing the memory to flash back up. A strange sense of foreboding flooded through me suddenly as we climbed into my car. A heavy nervousness settled in the pit of my stomach like a rock, and I was suddenly very wary of what could possibly happen tonight.
What had seemed like a simple cruel insult earlier now felt slightly like a warning or a threat, and I was almost certain by the time we got to Harry’s that something bad would happen tonight. It felt nearly inevitable that I would run into Ben or Miles or both, and I prayed that if it did happen, it wouldn’t be anything I couldn’t handle.
As we parked and walked up to Harry’s house, I tried to stem the uncertainty flowing through me, determined to stay positive until any actual evidence that I was right surfaced. With a final deep breath and a smile, we entered Harry’s house, determined to have a good time.
"You push me, I don't have the strength to resist or control you, so take me down."
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