ABBIE'S POV
I just didn't know how to feel, what to say or do. He came back. For me. Yes he'd probably been drinking, but that wasn't one of my main concerns right now. He'd came back. This pretty much ruined all of my back up for moving away, so I had to stay really.
I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning in Jai's bed. He was sleeping on the floor below me, and I was too scared to leave in case I woke him. Plus, I wasn't intirely ready to talk to him. I knew I was gonna melt straight away, so I had to mentally prepare myself.
I thought about every thing he had ever happened between us and what I could say when they were brought up. I know I'm pathetic, but it just made me feel better and helped me to stop panicking.
I eventually looked at my phone, blinded by the brightness of the screen. It was 4am. I mentally groaned and tried to get out of the room as quietly as I could, with little success.
"Abbie?" Jai asked, his voice musky as he had just woke up.
"Yeah Jai?" I asked back.
"Phew, it's you." I turned on the light and made my way back to the bed.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm scared Abbie." He whispered. I was really confused.
"Why?" I asked, curious to know the reason.
"I don't want to loose you." He said, virtually only just audible.
"You won't loose me Jai." I said, sitting on the floor beside him.
"Yes I will. Luke's back, and you'll have him. I won't be needed anymore." He sighed.
"Jai," I hugged him tightly. "You will always be my brother, nothing more, nothing less. Forever and always." I smiled.
"What if you won't be though? What if things change again? I can't stand him having you when I know I can treat you so much better."
"Jai, you know how I feel. I've made myself clear that we couldn't be together." I said, playing with his fingers. I hated feeling like I'd led him on. That wasn't my intention whatsoever.
"I know that Abbie, I just don't want to see you hurt again."
"Don't worry you won't. Anyway, I don't even know if me and Luke will ever get back together." I shrugged.
"I'm sorry, I'm being a baby about this. I need to grow up and get over the fact not everything always goes to plan." He said, not looking at me and taking his hand back. "What time is it?"
"Just after 4."
"In the afternoon?"
"No, the morning. Go back to sleep." I told him.
"Cya Abbie."
"Bye Jai." I said after I got my laptop. I turnt the light off and shut the door behind me, realising how early really was because of the silence that was in this usually mega noisy household.
I thought I was gonna be able to dodge having that conversation with Jai, because either he just didn't want to talk about it, or I'd got out of the room unnoticed, but no. I traipsed down the stairs and into the kitchen, and I went to get some fruit, but then laughed at myself and grabbed some nutella and a spoon. If work could see me now, they'd probably stab me. Oh well, right now I didn't care enough to stop.
I sat on tumblr eating my nutella like a real hipster would. {A/N- I'm being sarcastic ok just saying}. After around half an hour, I heard footsteps quietly coming down the stairs and Luke came into the room and sat next to me on the sofa.
"Hey," he said sheepishly.
"Hi.." I said quietly, putting down my nutella and focusing on my laptop.
"Can we talk?" He asked with good intentions. He was rubbing his forehead, so I decided to reply sarcastically.
"We are, aren't we?" I didn't take my eyes off of my laptop screen.
He sighed. "Abbie please? I just want to make things better, you know that."
I shut my laptop screen and turned around to face him, my back resting on the arm of the sofa. "You had the chance to make things better days ago, before you left us." I said calmly, holding back the urge to scream at him.
"I know Abbie, but I felt low, so low, and all I wanted to do was get away, have a break. I was fed up of breaking everything I touched, I just needed alone time."
"What, alone time with beer and drugs?" I rolled my eyes.
I saw his face drop, and I realised I'd upset him by accusing him he'd started to do drugs again. "I can't believe you'd think I'd start doing them again, after everything."
"You can't blame me," I shrugged.
"Do you want to know the truth?" He asked. I nodded. "Well then, hear this. I wanted so bad to do drugs again, I was willing to do anything to make myself forget what a dick I've been, but you know what? I didn't. Because I love you Abbie. I don't care how you feel towards me, no matter how much you hate me, but I refused to do it because I knew that would ruin any chance of hope I had of getting any form of friendship re-built with you, even after I left with no explanation. I couldn't do that to you."
I was looking him in the eye whilst he said this, and he most definitely wasn't lying. I could tell by his eyes, and he was looking directly into mine. I sighed, thinking only about what happened between me and Jai, making me feel really guilty. So I should have felt though. I deserved it. He doesn't deserve to be lied to and treated badly, not now.
"Look Abbie, I'm not saying we have to rush into anything, but I don't want to loose you. You were my best friend, my everything, my other half, and I know I was the biggest idiot ever for hurting you, but I promise I will never do anything, ever like this to hurt you. I will protect you from everyone who ever tries to hurt you, no matter what it takes. I just don't want you to go to London, not now. I'm begging you. I need you here with me and I know however much you try to deny it, you won't last without me either."
I thought about it, and realised that this was the only chance I was going to get to tell him what happened. "Luke, I have something I've got to tell you." I sighed. His eyes went wide and then he looked as if he was gonna cry.
"No.. you didn't. I'm so sorry Abbie. I'm so sorry.." He said looking at his lap in shame. Right, now I was even more confused.
"What?"
"You didn't.. start to.. you know again, did you?" he whispered.
"What?" I said in shock. "I haven't hurt myself. I promise you." I pulled up the sleeves of my jumper, and showed him my stomach just to prove it.
"Phew. Ohmygod I nearly just had a heart attack. I got so scared." He laughed quietly to himself. "What is it then?"
"I, I'm sorry for ever saying horrible stuff about you, I am. I'm such a hypocritical bitch, I know. Just please don't go mental.. Me, well me and Jai.. We kissed. I'm sorry." I didn't know why I felt so bad admitting this to him, because at the time we weren't together and we still aren't now.
"Okay." He said.
"What?"
"I said, it's okay. I don't mind." I let out a breath and felt like a huge weight had been liften off my shoulders.
"Cool. Okay. Well I'm sorry.. again."
"Don't be." He shrugged.
"Aren't you angry?"
"No. Not really. Jealous, yes, but not angry."
"How come?"
"You haven't done anything really in comparison to what I've done to you." I just shrugged and let it roll over me, not wanting to spark an argument.
It felt weird to be back to normal with him, well semi-normal anyway. I'd missed his beautiful features, his brown hair, his lip ring, his cute smile, his laugh. I was never going to let him go, ever again.. all thoughts of going back to England permanently erased from my mind completely.
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ooooooooooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaa
do you guys ship labbie or jabbie more? jabbie sounds so stupid iknow i'm sorry but i couldn't think of anything better ok
and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a week or so but I had a social life last weekend for once.. and then it was my birthday and I went out for a meal last night and was doing homework all day today and yaaaaa
i hope you've had a great day and don't forget to vote, comment and do all that good stuff :) love you all:) x