Henry's pov
I really like Luna Joel. We've been talking about our lives while waiting for Alpha Devlin to return and the things he told me make me want to go out and destroy his whole pack. I mean wolves are supposed to stick together no matter what, yet his whole pack turns on him without even attempting to find out the truth! What's worse, his own brother was the cause of everything that happened to him! It's not that I can't understand sibling rivalry, I understand it better than most people. I mean I truly do love my sister even though she's not the easiest person to get along with, but even she wouldn't go that far . . . ok nevermind, forget everything I just said. Actually she and Luna Joel's brother would be perfect for each other. I shuddered at the thought.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah . . . actually I was thinking how my sister and your brother would be perfect for each other and it made me a little nervous."
"They would destroy all of wolfkind, wouldn't they?"
We both burst out laughing, the tension in the room fading slightly, until Luna Joel said something that caught me completely off guard.
"He killed my pup, you know."
"W-What?"
"My former mate . . . I decided to leave him and even after everything he did to me, he wanted me to just forgive and forget, like my feelings didn't matter. When I refused he used his Alpha strength to punch me in my stomach. I nearly died that day in the hospital and my third pup, well he never even got to take his first breath. What kind of monster would do something like that to an innocent pup?"
"Luna Joel, if I tell you this, you can't let it go any further than me and you . . . you can't even tell Alpha Devlin."
Luna Joel nodded his head and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before I began.
"Alpha Charlie is . . . was my mate. A few years after Alpha Devlin left, I turned seventeen and was able to sense the mate bond between us . . . I was horrified, he was already mated to Alpha Devlin's mother, so when he came to me I refused him. I should have rejected him right away, but instead I distanced myself from him, hoping he would move on. Then a few days after everything settled down, I went into heat. I was so terrified, no other male from any pack I know about has ever gone into heat, so I didn't have anyone I could ask. I hid out in the woods those several agonizing days to keep myself from going to him, but in the end it didn't matter, he tracked me down and forced me to submit."
"He raped you?"
"No, that's the worst part, he used my body's inability to resist him to get what he wanted from me . . . after the first three days he had me begging for him to forgive me for refusing him and by the sixth day I was willing to forget he had a mate and wear his mark. It was only after my heat was over that I came back to my senses, but by then the damage had been done . . . as I lay in the woods recovering from the final effects of the heat, the Luna had been falsely accused of the very crime we'd committed, adultery and locked away awaiting execution. It was only my desperate agreement to mate with him that kept him from taking her life to get her out of the way. Instead he had her banished with the threat of death if she ever returned."
I waited for him to pull away from me in disgust or to mock me, bit instead he pulled me into a comforting hug.
"And he's been holding the threat of revealing the truth over your head this whole time, hasn't he?"
"After the Luna had been gone for a few days, I told him that I had no intention of being his mate. I expected him to become angry, but instead he laughed at me and told me I had no choice, that it was already out of my hands. I asked him to tell me what he meant and instead of answering, he placed a hand on my stomach and smirked at me as if he knew something I didn't."
"Are you saying ___________?"
"Yes, I lied to you before . . . the pup my sister claims as her own is the only tangible proof of my betrayal of this pack's Luna with Alpha Charlie and my punishment for rejecting him is to never be acknowledged as his mother."
My body shuddered as the pain I had been suppressing hit me all at once.
"He stole my son because I dared to reject him! He ruined any chance I had to be happy because he couldn't stand the fact that I found someone else who loved me enough not to push me after she found out the truth and refused to consider me weak when he forced his own men to rape me in front of her out of jealousy! He claims that boy as his son, but refuses to love him unless I return to his side . . . why does my child have to suffer that monster of an Alpha as a sire?!"
I panted for breath in Luna Joel's arms, once again waiting for him to condemn me.
"Do you still love him?"
"I don't think I ever did. That's why I stayed away, I could see the love shining in Luna Lauren's eyes when she looked at him and I was there when that love became heartbreak and despair as his gaze turned to me. I never wanted that and I pleaded with him to go back to her. Throughout my heat, in my lucid moments I told him I could never love him, that we should go to her so I could beg for her forgiveness and accept whatever punishment she was willing to give me, but he refused every time and as soon as the heat took me over his manipulation of my body continued. I believe he knew what would happen if I slept with him during my heat, that I would bear his pup and be forced to mate with him . . . Alphas think they're gods who can twist everyone to their whim and punish anyone who won't follow along with their plans."
"How did the Alpha convince your sister to claim your pup?"
I shook my head, my expression a mixture of sorrow and disgust.
"No one can talk my sister into doing anything she doesn't want to . . . no he came up with a plan, he asked my sister out on a date and while they were at dinner, he slipped something into her drink. From there all he had to do was convince her that they slept together. She came home the next day with his scent all over her, bragging about scoring with the Alpha and laughing in my face . . . I think she knew from the beginning that he was my mate and was trying to make me jealous, but I was just glad he turned his attention to someone else. Then that night, he called me and mocked the fact that "my stupid slut of a sister actually thought he would have sex with her and risk catching whatever diseases she had". I guess he expected me to agree with him or something, but instead I rejected him then and there and it was the most amazing sensation, Alpha Joel, like a darkness had been removed from my life and things got even better when he pursued things with my sister and left me alone. I was able to focus all of my attention on preparing for my pup. I guess I was so distracted that I let my guard down. A week before the baby was due, I went to a scheduled appointment with the pack's doctor and after checking the baby's health, he gave me some pills, claiming they were vitamins that I needed to strengthen my body for the delivery, but they were really Misoprostol."
I paused at the confused expression on Luna Joel's face and scratched the back of my head sheepishly.
"Sorry, it's a pill used to induce labor."
"He forced you to have your baby early?!"
I closed my eyes as once again the memories overwhelmed me once again.
"For the first three years of my son's life, I blamed myself, convinced that I had done something wrong to make my son come early and when my sister publicly claimed him as her pup I was too afraid to be anywhere near him to contradict her. I thought whatever was wrong with me would truly cause his death and decided that it would be better to let him go than to take the risk, so I relinquished my rights to him."
I could feel the tears slipping down my cheeks . . . I really wanted to stop, but I needed someone to hear my story.
"You don't have to say anymore."
"I-I need someone to hear this . . . I don't want to hold it in anymore. The night I went into labor, I was alone, my sister was conviently out with Alpha Charlie and I didn't have any friends to help me because I didn't let anyone else get close to me after my parents died. Somehow after realizing what was happening, I managed to make it to the pack hospital and as soon as the doctor saw me, he immediately took me to a room and he . . . he tied my wrists to the bed. I begged for him to help me, but he just ignored me and made a phone call, telling whoever was on the other line that he had everything set up. Fortunately the Misoprostol pills had made me feel sick that first day and I only took one before throwing the rest away or the baby would have come too early and died."
Luna Joel growled quietly and I paused, giving him a chance to calm down.
"Everyone in this pack is so loyal to him that the pack doctor would restrain a pregnant wolf at his orders?"
"He somehow convinced the pack that he's the only one that's keeping us alive. They're even willing to kill for his amusement. I'm the only one that defied him and he made the loss of my pup my punishment for refusing to take back my rejection."
"And he didn't care that he was putting the two of you in danger? You could have died from complications."
"If I did, he would have claimed it was retribution from the Moon Goddess for not accepting my fate. That's the one thing about this I find so funny . . . someone as manipulative as him still claims to believe in fate."
"I'm glad you rejected him. You deserve better."
"No."
"Henry."
"Luna Joel, I will never trust another wolf enough to offer them my body or heart. I will never let down my walls completely for anyone again, when Erica died, she took every bit of hope and happiness I had left . . . I'm empty now, a fitting punishment for the sins I've committed."
The Luna wanted to argue, but he just shook his head and I took the chance to tell the rest of the story.
"After the doctor got off the phone, I pleaded with him for an epidural, but he just told me that he wasn't allowed to and I would just have to suffer."
"What?! That monster cut you open and took out your pup without giving you something for the pain?!"
I couldn't help the smile of amusement at the shock on Luna Joel's face. I shook my head, touching a gentle hand to my stomach.
"I had the baby naturally, Luna Joel. My body is different than most wolves. I can have pups unassisted, but I can only have one at a time."
"O-Oh. So he wanted to make things as terrible as possible for you . . . how long did it take you to have your pup?"
"Seven hours and since my body is also different from a female wolf's, the pain of the contractions didn't fade over time to give me a chance to rest, it just continued in unending waves until I was on the verge of passing out. After those seven hours, the most beautiful pup I had ever seen was in the world, Alpha Charlie was in the room and being presented with our pup by the pack doctor and everything in my life was in the beginning stages of falling apart. The doctor and Alpha Charlie shared a look and Alpha Charlie, he . . . he told me the pup was dead, that my stubborn refusal to take back my rejection had somehow caused our pup to lose his life. I begged him to let me see the pup, to say goodbye, but he ignored me and walked out of the room with the doctor following behind him . . . they left me alone, tied to that bed, with nothing but my own dark thoughts and fears to keep me company for three days and then my sister came in holding my son who I was convinced was dead and buried and with no concern for why I was in the pack's hospital or tied to that bed, she presented my pup to me, claiming that she has given birth to him and walked back out, ignoring my cries."
"So she was working with him?"
At the time, I truly thought that, but I soon realized that she really believed he was her pup. I don't know what he did to her to convince her to believe such an obvious lie, but at the time I was in no state to deny her claim, so when I was well enough I shut myself away and persuaded myself that my pup had really died. What kind of mother does something like that? What kind of mother turns their back on their own pup just because they can't handle the stress of what's happening around them? How can I even call myself his mother, Luna Joel?"
The Luna opened and closed his mouth several times and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped all that on you."
"No, I'm glad you told me . . . are you ever going to tell your sister the truth?"
"The day I get the courage to leave this place, I will be taking my son with me and Moon Goddess forbid anyone who gets in my way. Luna I feel like I can tell you anything, that you won't betray me."
The Luna nodded and I swallowed nervously, pulling away from him.
"Noone hasn't noticed yet, but I can't hide something like this forever. I don't know where to go from here."
The Luna noticed the hand pressed against my stomach and covered it with one of his own.
"He took so much from me, Luna Joel . . . I can't let him take this pup."
"Is he_________________?"
"I believe the sire of this pup is one of the wolves that raped me that day."
"What do you want to do?"
"I only want my freedom, Luna Joel. Before the Alphas fight I want you to . . . please help me escape."