I Moved On, Why Don't You

Understandings and Moving On

Linda's pov

I feel like such a bad mother, I know it's not Joel's fault that he doesn't want to hear what I have to say about the baby and I know he doesn't blame me for not being there for him . . . he's never blamed me for anything bad that's ever happened in his life. Sighing I lay back down on the small uncomfortable hospital bed and try once again to get some sleep.

'Mom, I know you don't want to talk to me and that it's my fault, but I need to see you . . . please.'

As soon as I heard Joel's voice I quickly climbed out of bed and made my way to his room, to find Joel talking to a man I've never seen before.

"Mom, I'm glad you came . . . I missed you."

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't____"

"I know it was because I couldn't talk about the baby, because it was my fault that they got hurt in the first place."

"I'm going to let you two talk alone. I'll come to visit you again if that's okay with you Joel."

"Please."

I watched the man walk out of the room, trying to figure out who he was, when Joel spoke up capturing my attention.

"His name is Jefferson, mom. He's the brother of my friend, Dillon."

"Dillon?"

"Someone from school."

"Do you really think_______?"

"He believes me . . . he's the only one besides you and Dr Williams that I feel like I can trust."

"Oh, that's great honey, just be careful."

"I will . . . I'm ready to go back to school, mom."

"I don't think_________."

"I'm not going to hurt myself anymore . . . that's what Jefferson and I were talking about, even though we had different reasons, he hurt himself the same way I did. He knows what it feels like to not be able to breathe because it reminds you that you're still alive, but that's okay too . . . he it normal told me its normal to feel like that and that I would be okay . . . mom I believe my baby's alive. I believed it from the moment you told me that day."

"Then why__________?"

"I almost killed my baby. I couldn't blame anyone that hurt me if something happened to them . . . there's no excuse for what I did, no answer that will take away my guilt . . . I don't think I deserve to raise my own child, mom. That's why I didn't want to believe you."

"Oh, honey, this isn't your fault . . . I shouldn't have argued with your brother; I know you get upset when we fight, but I couldn't stop myself and because of that you were all alone when___."

"No! You're doing the best you can, you're a great mom and I don't want you blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens to us."

"But your dad hurting us and then leaving. You guys not having all the things you needed . . . If only I had______."

"Mom you worked two jobs when you were together and took two more after he left. You did more than enough for us, please don't blame yourself anymore."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes when I realized something I hadn't noticed before.

"All you've ever wanted was for me to be happy. I thought you were angry with me, like your brother, but this whole time you were telling me it was alright for me to live for myself."

Smiling, Joel nodded, brushing away my tears with his fingertips.

"Mom, I know you love Dr Williams . . . I think it's time for you to let dad go for good."

A trembling smile crossed my lips as I nodded and opened my purse, pulling out a small stack of neatly folded papers . . . our divorce papers. Even after all the beatings he'd put us through, after he humiliated me by cheating on me with other women, both human and supernatural, even after he compared me to them, to show me just what I was lacking and even after his final betrayal of running off with another woman, leaving behind only an empty house and the papers I held in my hands, I still clung to him and refused to sign them in the small hope he would come back.

"You've always deserved better, mom and now you can have it."

Nodding again, I quickly signed the papers and a weight I didn't know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders.

"Thank you Joel."

"Now you and Dr Williams can go on a real date."

Pulling Joel into a hug, I let the tears fall again and felt hot drops on my shoulder as Joel finally let go of some of the pain he was holding inside.

I felt Joel's head lifting from my shoulder and I released him, placing a gentle hand on his cheek.

"I . . . I have something to ask you, just please don't get angry."

"What is it, honey?"

"After I graduate, I have want to ask the Alpha to break my pack bond . . . I want to leave the pack mom."

Joey's pov

"I've decided to mate you."

I jerked my head up from the essay I was working on, looking up at Kyle in shock.

"Why would you do that, don't you hate me?"

"My reasons are none of your business . . . be ready for my announcement tomorrow."

"What about Joel?"

"What about him?"

"You his mate, right? I mean don't you still love him?"

"Don't.  You have no right to question my feelings, you weren't concerned about your brother when you sent me those pictures or decided to fall into bed with me, so don't act like you've developed a conscience all of a sudden."

"You may not believe this, but I do love my brother, its just that I . . . I love you so much more."

"You're right, I don't believe you. We both know you don't love anyone more than you love yourself.  Now finish your homework . . . I'm going out and when I come back we're going to your house to collect your stuff."

"What? Why?"

"You're moving in with me."

"Are . . . Are you serious?!"

A dark look crossed Kyle's face and I flinched, my happiness quickly fading.

"Don't get any ideas, it's just for show. Making everyone think we're in love with each other won't be easy, considering your brother is my former mate, so you're going to do what I tell you to make them believe us."

"Please, if you'd just give me a chance, I know I could make you happy."

"You stole my happiness, Joey. You ruined my life with your own hands . . . I think you've done enough."

I nodded, lowering my head in defeat and listened for his footsteps to fade down the hallway. When I didn't hear anything, I looked up to find him watching me.

"Before I go, I want to know what Jason did to Joel."

"Nothing. It was just an empty threat."

"Rule number one, Joey don't think I'm stupid enough not to know when you're lying to me."

"Go to the hospital and talk to his doctor, he'll tell you everything."

"Fine."

I lowered my head again, jumping when the door slammed behind me. Letting out a sigh, I turned my attention back to my homework, but I couldn't concentrate . . . once Kyle finds out the truth, he's going to leave me. Placing a hand on my stomach, I felt a single tear slide down my cheek, before my expression grew cold. After everything I've given up, I refuse to let Kyle leave and I'll get rid of anyone that gets in my way.