I Moved On, Why Don't You

Breaking Point

Joel's pov

I don't know what woke me up, but when I glanced at the clock, it was five A.M. Groaning softly, I sat up, ignoring the tiny twinges of pain that went through me and slowly headed to the bathroom. As I turned the knob for the shower and waited for the water to heat up, I walked over to the full length mirror, stripping off my pajamas as I went and studied my body in the reflective surface. Though they no longer hurt as much, thanks to my wolf's quick healing ability, my body was still covered in black and purple bruises and a deep scar went across one side of my stomach. Confused, I gently brushed my finger across the scar, noticing that it was deeper in the middle. I guess instead of pulling the knife out like I'd thought, Jason had cut me as far as across my stomach as he could before beating me. Closing my eyes against tears, I let the rest of my fingers join their mate, pressing my hand against my stomach where my baby would have been growing, before angrily dropping it to my side. Stalking over to the shower, I stepped under the hot water, scrubbing my skin until it turned red. Dr Williams warned me that my emotions would be like this before my mom had me released yesterday and brought me home . . . I know they both think I should have waited until I was emotionally stronger before I went back to school, but lying in a hospital bed or sitting at home, letting life go on without me will end up driving me crazy. I let out a frustrated growl as I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around myself. Why was everyone  acting like they knew how I feel?! Why was everyone else able to go on with their lives and I was trapped in a world of what ifs?! What if I hadn't gone to the park that day? What if I had fought harder against Jason? What if I had stopped Kyle from taking my virginity? So many what ifs, but none of them changed the facts . . . my baby was dead, my mate hated me and I was so traumatized that I couldn't even let my own mom, one of the most important people in my life get close to me. How was I going to make it through school? How could I stand to be around other people? Maybe I should . . .

'Stop it, Joel! We are not cowards! I am here with you and I will never leave you . . . you are not alone.'

Hearing Demmi s voice in my head instantly calmed me and I dried myself off and brushed my teeth, going to my closet to pull out a pair of sweatpants and a hoody, before going over to my dresser, grabbing some boxers and carefully getting dressed. Once I was done, I walked down the hall to the kitchen, where my mom stood waiting.

"Honey, are you really sure about this? I mean you can wait and go to school another day."

"I can't keep putting this off, mom. I have to do this whether I'm afraid or not."

"I understand. If you need me to come and get you, just call and I'll come as soon as I can."

I nodded my head and sat down at the table where mom had a light breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, fruit salad and orange juice waiting for me.

"Thanks mom."

I slowly ate my mom's delicious cooking, my mind drifting to seeing Kyle and Jason. What was going to happen today? Was I really going to be able to handle this?

'One way to find out.'

Sighing, I pushed my empty plate aside and walked to my room to get my book bag.

"Mom, I'm ready to go."

When I didn't hear a reply I went back to the kitchen to look for her.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here! Your brother was in the hospital and you just up and disappear . . .  do you know how worried we've been about you?!"

"You knew where I was, at Anthony's."

"And did Anthony keep you from calling or coming to see your brother? Did Anthony tell you to just run off without telling anyone?"