The day's finally over.
This must have to be the most boring school day i've ever had in my whole entire life. All we did was do revision, make reviewers, memorize formulas, and tests ourselves with quizzes us students made for each other.
I hated the fact that the school would always make us go through hell first before we could get to heaven. We have to get through tests first, before the Christmas day event.
And eventually, the Christmas break.
Oh goodie. For fifteen years that i've been in school, Christmas break is the best thing ever. Especially now that we are in high school. It's where the snow starts falling down, where you make snow angels at the park, drink hot chocolate with someone you love, and exchange gifts with your friends and family.
Christmas is a joyful season, it really is. But I don't know if it's going to be the same this year.
The past fifteen Christmas breaks that I had, I didn't know Yoongi the way I know now. I didn't like to be around someone. I didn't like to talk to someone everyday. I didn't want to see someone for the rest of my school day.
I didn't like someone.
Two weeks of Christmas break means two weeks of me not being able to see Yoongi.
Two weeks of no talking.
I won't be able to see his soft lips and pale fluffy cheeks that i've always wanted to poke. I won't be able to see his jet black hair, much darker than the blackhole itself. Or the way his fringe would stay to one side of his forehead when he's sweaty after playing basketball. I wouldn't be able to see him peacefully sleeping with his eyes closed like nothing could potentially go wrong.
I won't be able to see how wonderful he is for two weeks.
"You look so bummed." Yuri commented as I sighed heavily. "Are you going to night school tonight?"
"No," I shake my head. "I'm going to wait for Yoongi, we have something planned today."
Her eyes widened, gasping. "What?! You're going on a date with him?"
"No!" I quickly replied. It's good that most of the students already left the class room or else people would have heard Yuri's delusions. "It's for the talent show."
"You're both joining?" She raise an eyebrow. "Wow, is this going to be like Bonnie and Clyde?"
"God, Yuri." I rolled my eyes with a smile. "I hate you sometimes."
"So I have been forcing you to join singing or talent shows for years, and now Yoongi is the only one that can make you join." She crosses both of her arms, pouting at me. "Well then."
Yuri has been a great supporter ever since I met her. I never really tell people that I sing. Most of the time, they'll ask me to sing for them afterwards. It's awkward, it's embarrassing, it's a waste of time.
Yuri is the only person who knows I sing. She heard me singing in the locker rooms at the school gymnasium when I was taking a shower. Even my parents doesn't know about this 'talent' of mine.
"It's not like that. He's going to join, I'm not." I explained. "At least he's going to try to."
"Does he sing?" She asks, zipping up her bag. "Because if he does, you should really sing together."
"No, he-" I answered but was interrupted by someone from the door.
"Hey." It was Yoongi. He was sweating and looked like he desperately needed a minute or two to lay down and do nothing. He's wearing a black and white striped t-shirt, making me realize something.
I've never seen him wearing anything other than black and white out of school.
At least not when he is working.
"Yoongi." I say, standing up right away. I shoved all my items into my bag, feeling pressured to hurry up. Once I was finished, I turned to Yuri, and she was already looking at me.
"I guess i'll see you tomorrow." She says with a hint of smirk in her face. "Have fun, whatever you guys are doing."
God.
Luckily it was more of a whisper, and I have high hopes that Yoongi didn't hear it. Yuri walk down to the door, passing Yoongi with a smile on her face.
I followed as soon as Yuri's gone. I was the last student to leave the classroom.
"Sorry, I got really chatty with Yuri." I apologized as I approach him.
"Aren't you always?" He asks with a mocking voice. "Sometimes it gets annoying."
"And sometimes you like it." I teased back, making him shut up.
He blinked twice before talking again. "So where are we going?"
"I'm guessing the music room," I said. "But if you have anything in mind-"
"Let's go, then." He says, turning his back away from me. "I have somewhere to go to later so we better hurry."
"Where?" I asked, jogging up to him. He had slender legs but they sure know how to walk fast.
"Nowhere you should worry about."
"Oh," I said, finally catching up. "Okay."
I wish he'd stop hiding things from me.
*
"This is embarrassing."
Yoongi whined as he stood in the middle of the music room, just right beside the grand piano. The piano appeared to made of wooden, so old and nostalgic.
It looked like those pianos that appear from horror movies.
"You've already performed in front of me once." I said, crossing my legs as I say in one of the chairs. "You could do it again."
"That's different." He whines again. "That was playing the piano, I didn't have to maintain eye contact. But now i'm going to rap, and I have to look at you."
Patches of heat builded up in my neck, up to my jaw, then into my cheeks. I squeezed my legs together, holding back myself. I hated it when I feel this. I hated the thought that he might catch me blushing just by saying the simplest words.
"Just try." I encouraged, regaining myself.
He sighed. "I've been working on this piece for weeks, but I haven't finished it yet."
"Let's hear it then."
From the moment his mouth opened, his whole personality changed. The Yoongi who was whining, and shy and embarrassed who couldn't look at me in the eye as he complains is completely gone.
In front of me was a guy who's rapping with his husky powerful voice, like a lion roaring at its prey. His hands were gesturing with each and every strong words he said.
But when the moment out eyes met, I was the one who couldn't keep up with it.
There is something about him whenever I watch him perform. There is something so easy for him to adore even though he was rapping about something I couldn't relate to.
Same day, same moon
24/7 every moment repeats
My life is in between
Jobless twenty-somethings are afraid of tomorrow
It's funny, you think anything
is possible when you're a kid
When you feel how hard it is to get through a day
Keep feeling like the
"Control" beat, keep downloading it
Every single day is a repetition of ctrl+c, ctrl+v
I wouldn't even understand the lyrics if I continue to watch him like this. I would just drown by this moment, I would melt by the passion radiating through out his body. I am lost by his words that everything he does is in slow motion, even the way he whips his head making his hair sway. Or even the way his lips moved. They looked so delicate, so soft. So precious.
I have a long way to go but
why am I running in place?
I scream out of frustration
but the empty air echoes
I hope tomorrow will
be different from today
I'm just wishing
He breathed out a final word and stopped, panting slightly. "What do you think?"
"I... I love it, it's good." I said, not as convincing as I wanted to let him know. I am still spinning around under his charm, and forcing out words from my mouth is not something easy for me to do right now.
"You're just saying that because you're my friend." He said.
He steps and sits into the chair from the piano, his eyes looking at the keys. He slides his fore finger into each one of the keys so lightly that it wouldn't make a noise.
"Of course not!" I said, standing up. I could see how disheartened he look. "It was a piece of art."
"A piece of art?" His eyes move, looking at me without his head moving at all. "You're comparing my music into an art?"
"Art is supposed to make you feel something." I said, clenching my fists nervously. "It made me feel something."
"What did you feel?" He asks, his head turning to me now. I can feel all of his attention lingering at me.
Shit, this was a bad idea. I can feel a sudden force rushing against my body. A part of me wants to tell him that it made me realize how much I liked him, but a part of me pulled me back.
The part of me where I think of what is bound to happen next. The fact that i'm going to risk what I have with him now.
"It made me feel how someone's struggling but they're still very hopeful." I started but ended up groaning. "It's good, okay? I honestly think you're very talented, and I just... I can't put it into words."
"Liar." He mutters under his breath, turning around to face the piano again.
"You're good, I promise you." I held my hand up, beginning to be frustrated. "Why do you find that so hard to belie-"
The door swung open. Yuri is standing by the door, looking as surprised as Yoongi and I are.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her, glancing at Yoongi who doesn't seem to be bothered at all. He looked at her, but looked away in a second.
"Well," she steps in. "There's a sub at night school today and he's the music teacher. He wanted me to take his phone from that cabinet over there."
She points at the wooden desk at the back of the room, fiddling the keys on her finger. She bends down and opens it, then takes the phone.
No one is talking. It gave off an awkward vibe, and we needed someone to break the ice.
But then an idea lit up into my mind, making me break the silence.
Yuri was already leaving when I stopped her.
"Wait, Yuri." I say, glancing at Yoongi before I look at her.
"What?" She says, turning back.
"Well, Yoongi doesn't believe me that..."
"Don't you dare." Yoongi murmurs silently, quiet enough for Yuri not to hear.
But that wasn't enough to make me stop.
"I want you to judge Yoongi's talent because he thinks i'm biased." I said as quickly as I could, not pausing after each word.
Yoongi rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything. Yuri looks at me then looks at him, then looks back at me again.
"Oh," she says, taking the seat beside me. "But you have to hurry up, I don't want the sub to notice."
She was addressing that to Yoongi. Yoongi who is still sitting and pretending like no one is in the room. He looked up with his eyes appearing stone cold, his mouth forming a line.
"No." he finally says. "I don't want to."
"You have to." I say. "It's the only way you'll believe me. Prove me wrong."
And that worked, because he stood up where he was standing up ten minutes ago. He looked more serious than he was before, but I could still tell that he's nervous.
He started to rap the same lyrics he had said. And I was thankful enough that I had a reason not to carried away into the world of music by him. I didn't want Yuri to find out that I liked Yoongi more than she knows.
But as I looked at Yuri, she was gasping in awe, even holding her breath. When Yoongi ended, she closes her mouth, then blinks, before clapping vigorously.
"Wow," she said, looking at me. "I didn't know he could rap like that, he doesn't look... like he could do it."
Yoongi stood still, looking at the both of us. He looked like he was waiting for a comment. It's like he's a contestant, and Yuri and I are the judges.
"See?" I said, standing up. "Even Yuri thinks you're good."
Yuri stands up as well and hurries to the door. "Seriously, you shouldn't be ashamed of what you can do. Believe her, you're good."
She closed the door behind her, leaving us alone inside the room.
I smiled at Yoongi and walked to the piano, sitting down at the leather chair. "See? Do you believe me now?"
He smiles in defeat and starts nodding, tucking his tongue under his upper lip. "You're so annoying."
Oh, Yoongi.
I'd annoy you everyday if I could see that smile on your face every time I did.